Life is so hard right now.

[Pugsley_f5]

Well Tactic, I pulled out a few things out of your last post that I would like to address....


First of all man, you need to get this idea out of your head that your relationship with God is tied to the amount of times you go to church. It isn't....I was raised catholic and the quantitative/habitual/ritual form of worship as in the catholic church has confused soo many stinkin people, me being one of them a few years back. I thought if I didn't go to church I was bad and my relationship with God sucked....thats the way that influence has on you.....I go to church maybe once a week.....and sometimes every 2-3 weeks.....because my relationship with God involves no one else but me and God, you don't need to go to church to have a relationship with God thats something between you and Him, the church is the place where you go to get fed spiritually and learn....not the place you go to cultivate your relationship with God (although you can work on your relationship with God while you are there). The main place you cultivate your relationship with God is ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.

Second you are not tied to a Church...if you are not learning or being fed spiritually at your church , or you don't get along with the people GO TO A NEW ONE. The church is the place that you can connect at....if you don't connect at your church go to different churchs till you find one that you connect at and feeds you spiritually.


I was raised Catholic, and it wasn't until I started going to a Non-denominational Church that i really started learning about Gods word and his ways and his will for my life... I learned more in two sunday services at the Non-denominational church I go to than I did in 10 years of Catholic Services and Catholic middle school and HS.

The bible warns about the rituals of man corrupting the blocking people from a relationship with God....and the Catholic type Church is just about as ritualistic as it gets. Thats why I go to a ND church, Religions are man-made (Protestant, Baptist, catholic, Mormon etc), But spiritual Christianity (ND) isn't and theres nothing ritual about it.

Third, a ND church has alot more young folks in it, the younger crowds are looking for a more modern way to worship god....my Church has 500 people in it (from just 25, 3 years ago, theres a tip there...judge a Church by it's fruits....if a church is teaching proper principles then God's blessings will be poured out thru that church like you wouldn't believe.....and I looked at the Phenomenal growth and financial prosperity our church had and thats how I can tell if they are in line with God's Principles and teaching his principles properly to the churches people.

Find yourself a ND church you like (search around, go to several) and start new, get away from negative and judgmental people in Churchs, plus you'll enjoy having the majority of the congregation being 30 and younger.

Lastly my friend, Read these two books, they have changed my life and they will yours if you read them.

"A purpose driven life" Can't remember the authors name, BUT READ IT!!! It will give you life new meaning, no Joke!!


" Understanding the purpose and power of prayer" by Myles Munroe

I hope this helps you these are the things that have helped me get out of the same exact situation you are in right now.


Pugs

 

[Ladiesssman]

Choose your own faith

Tactics,
Whatever you believe, give it a second chance. If it does not solve you or sooth you, you change your belief. I once believed in christianity. It's all about set of rules you have to follow. If you do this and this and that, you go to heaven. And if you don't do that and that you'll go to hell. Why not try buddhism or other faith. In buddhism, life is a self search. It's a philosophy of karma (what you do is what you receive). No god can help you.

You choose your own path. There is no rule that says it's the only path. If you follow the path and find it benificial, you continue it. If not, find another one. There is no sets of rules. You search for yourself.

 

[tactic]

Everyone is nice. I have gotten along with everyone for months. It just happened. I go to Church because i want to show God how much i appreciate his work. But at the same time i go there to meet others. Now it's a mess for me. I don't know how.

Usually i wait for a message from them and they send one, now they don't. Usually they notice me alot, now they don't. Usually they love me more, now they don't as much. Usually, their attention is set on me, now they don't as much. Usually, they showed alot of interest to me, now they don't as much. Usually, they appreciated me being in Church, now they don't show it. Usually they laughed when i said something, now they don't. Usually when i try to be calm in response, they are not. Usually, when i come to Church, i wait for everyone to say hi and prop me and notice me and ask me stuff. Now they don't.

 

[tactic]

Pugs,

I've been reading Job for the past 2 weeks. It can relate to my life alot. My bible study has been helping me now. However, i am waiting for things to go well again or i can't take much more of this.

Why do i seek love if i can't even recieve?

To want love, is to want to recieve it. When it worsens, all he thinks he negative. All he ever wants to do is kill his flesh. All he ever wants to do is turn away from God.

God asks us one thing.. be faithful. Be strong. No... the Bible mentions, Love. Love is the most important.

We seek love because we need it. We seek love because we live in this world. When one loves, the other loves back. When one loves, and the other does not, then it is not love.

I love, but i do not feel love. I have faith, but do no feel faith.

I trust, but i do not recieve it. I hope, but doesn't come. I seek, but doesn't sight any solutions. I pray, and i wait.

Love is one thing. Hate is the other. Some don't love, but don't hate. One man loves, they do not dislike. One man does not love, but one man disinterests.

A life that represents all matters that we see, every living objects can inspire us to do something. However, love can do more.

Why can i not recieve love? Why can i not be loved again? My friends, my Church members? Who are they? They were my once loved. I have loved them and i still do. But how do i get the love back? How do i become loved? How do i feel accepted to the Church, the place to worship God with the heart that God has glorified us. When God wants us to reach Him to the heavens, when we try. Only one takes us away from it. Satan. Why can't we stop him?

Because he is strong. Why do we turn away from God? Satan makes you do it. Why can't we feel hopeful all the time? What's going to happen years from now?

Why do we fear? Why have i been here for?

But yet, why do i not feel love? Doesn't love cover up the suffers, mistakes, and the things that has happened to you? Doesn't love cover up the death, the wounds, and the close-death in battles? Why do we not get the love we want? Why not me? Has God chosen me as the un-loving? How has this hapened all of a sudden?

Why do the love disappear all of a sudden? Am i too tiring? Boring? Short of breath? Harmful? Disgusting? Unfaithful?

No.

I'm just a guy who wants love. A love-wanting man. Why does this happen? Why do i write this? Because i want love.

How does one man live without love? What's given God a plan to give us the sufferings? Nothing. God makes his own plan. No one inspires Him, He inspires Himself.

Forgive me if i've said too much. It's my feelings of wanting of love. I lost a valuable love.

I don't have to be a Don Juan. I don't have to be a player. Women are not my life. God is. So is love. Without love, you have no self-acceptance over yourself. I don't need to hit women and date alot to feel good. I just need those that i love to love me back. To love me again.

It's got to be a strong shield that's blocking me. I take one hit, i miss. I take another, and i miss. Love and lust are different. Hate and respect are different. God and love are not. I don't take this personally but if anybody tries to be racist against me, i don't care. It's not their problem. It's not mine. Not God's either. I appreciate who i am. There's no reason to act up either. Myself, i mean.

So love is important. But how do i get it back..

 

[Extra]

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5

First of all man, you need to get this idea out of your head that your relationship with God is tied to the amount of times you go to church. It isn't....I was raised catholic and the quantitative/habitual/ritual form of worship as in the catholic church has confused soo many stinkin people, me being one of them a few years back. I thought if I didn't go to church I was bad and my relationship with God sucked....

you don't need to go to church to have a relationship with God thats something between you and Him,

I was also raised Catholic, and I agree with you entirely on this point. I was always taught that hell would come quickly for me if I did not go to church on a regular basis. Fed all this b.s. about going to church all the time. I also believe that a relationship with God is between that one person and him. The church is supplementary to the personal relationship with god that someone has, and that it is there to help guide those that seek guidance.

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5

I was raised Catholic, and it wasn't until I started going to a Non-denominational Church that i really started learning about Gods word and his ways and his will for my life... I learned more in two sunday services at the Non-denominational church I go to than I did in 10 years of Catholic Services and Catholic middle school and HS.

Like I said before, I was born and raised catholic. And while I was sent to a Lutheran elementary school/ Middle School, due to location and lower cost, I am currently attending a Catholic High School. All guys nonetheless . But that's not the point.
I am currently a senior and have been forced to take a religion oriented class every year. This year I am taking Philosophy and last year I took Ethics. These two classes have, thusfar, given me a wide perspective on the different philosophies and religions of the many cultures in the world. As a result, my faith in God has been severly questioned.
I am now under the "Watchmaker" belief (or so I believe it is called, but I am unsure.) I believe that God created earth and all that stuff, but I do not believe that he has an everyday closeness and personal connection with everyone. I believe that he created our universe and sits back with a Coke and watches what happens to us, not having any part in what we do or what happens.

Tactic,

Here is my advice and opinion on some of the things you asked about in one of your replies. You can accept or reject my thoughts on your problems, I am only trying to get you to think about the situation in a different light.

Because he is strong. Why do we turn away from God? Satan makes you do it. Why can't we feel hopeful all the time? What's going to happen years from now?

Has God chosen me as the un-loving? How has this hapened all of a sudden?

First of all, I do not believe in the whole 'Satan made me do it' type of thing. I believe that God gave us free will for a reason. He gave us the power to choose. Therefore, would it not be your own choice to turn away from god? If Satan makes us do it, then doesn't that mean we are being deprived of our free will?

I also do not believe god chooses the fate of people. I for one don't believe in fate, and I dont believe in luck. I don't believe that we are predestined to anything, I believe our own choices and the choices of others shape our lives.

I personally don't worry about what's going to happen years from now. I'm not sure what you are referring to with that question. Just life in general? or maybe it has to do with your faith and your relationship with god? I try my best to only worry about the future when I absolutely have to. When you are faced with a choice that will undoubtedly shape your future, you need to weigh the pro's and con's and decide accordingly.

When you ask about why you can't seem to receive love, I am at a loss for words in the respect that I don't think I fully understand what you are trying to say. One day everyone you knew just began to scorn your presence or feel neutral towards you? I don't understand much how this could happen.

Religion can get someone thinking on some deep topics, and asking some very deep questions. I can relate a bit with this because I have done some serious contemplation like this just last year. And I can say that thinking about things like that did not make me happy. If happiness is what you're after, perhaps you should rid your life of the things that make you unhappy. Meet some new people. Go back to your DJ ways, even if only to help you meet some new people that will love you for who you are. I read somewhere on this forum a quote that was highly inspirational to me, and I look to it whenever I am feeling upset with what's happening in my life:

"Happiness is a choice."

That's it. That one small quote really helped me realize that I was making myself unhappy by keeping things in my life which made me unhappy, and by dwelling on topics that made me unhappy. While I do not remember where I got it and do not have time right now to search for it, I take no credit for coming up with that quote at all. I simply offer it up in hopes that it will give some form of comfort to another person.

If you feel you must keep your faith, then by all means do so. But perhaps your unhappiness is a result of your recent religious activity and soul searching. Perhaps you should take a little time off from church, and stop worrying about all this. Perhaps the problem is that you have recently regressed from being a DJ and have slipped back into nice guy mode. This could go hand in hand with a loss in confidence in yourself. I could be wrong, but I have come recently to the realization that confidence plays a huge roll in happiness, success, and overall daily life. Confidence is key!

Again, these were just my suggestions to you and my opinions on your situation. I commend you for reading through all that. If I have not helped you at all, then I am sorry I have wasted your time with my rather lengthy post. I am just trying to help you as best I can with the knowledge I am given. Again, take or disregard my advice, it is your life, and up to you to change how you have been feeling.
Remember, we still love ya. And I am sure there are plenty of people out there who love you as well. I know youre going through some tough times, but try not to beat yourself up too much ok?
Thanks for reading.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by tactic
Usually i wait for a message from them and they send one, now they don't. Usually they notice me alot, now they don't. Usually they love me more, now they don't as much. Usually, their attention is set on me, now they don't as much. Usually, they showed alot of interest to me, now they don't as much. Usually, they appreciated me being in Church, now they don't show it. Usually they laughed when i said something, now they don't. Usually when i try to be calm in response, they are not. Usually, when i come to Church, i wait for everyone to say hi and prop me and notice me and ask me stuff. Now they don't.

Tactic, I see your problem - you want to be loved but you have mistaken attention and acceptance from others as 'love'. Love is bigger and deeper than what you define it as. Lusting in unfulfilling physical relationships is not love - and trying to get attention and seeking approval from others is not love. You are looking for love in the wrong places.

Love is eternal and everlasting it is not momentary or fleeting. You are seeking a permanent loving relationship not with just a woman or humanity but with your creator - love encompasses all realms and is part of the natural order of things! Love is not about taking or receiving, it is about giving and sharing - 'love' starts within you and should be measured internally and not from external forces! Do you understand?

Life is not easy or hard, it is what it is - you can make it hard or easy depending on your attitude and perspective and how you see and deal with your reality and others in your life.

 

[MetalFortress]

Tactic, it sounds like you are in church for the wrong reasons, and oftentimes I make this mistake myself. When you go, focus on nothing but God and God alone, on worshipping and growing closer to Him. The obstacles will not matter anymore

 

[zerocelcius]

I have been like that too. Than I just said Fak it. Told my job that I was working two days a week and than I usually call in and tell them I am not comming in. Than I go to class when I want if I want. and as far as the future goes.... Fak it!!! Life is a flash in a pan and I am not going to waist it living up to fake standered placed on me so somebody else can benifite from my whole life being wasted for their profit. FAK That!!!! My Life My way...

I have a filling the person that started this might be around the age to "do somthing with his life" I felt that way than too. I think a lot of people do. The pressure of society rains down on you. But hey who is going to be their in the last 10 sec's of your life? SO just take of that person and as far as the rest make them earn your attention. FAK the small stuff, and it is all the small stuff.

PCZ

 

[zerocelcius]

I really have to start proof reading my posts before hitting that damn submit button.

 

[Maverick001]

Originally posted by Eulogy
lol @ Christians

Eulogy,

Easy there bud. This isn't meant to be a thread on belittling religious belief.

The world is large enough for all systems of belief and if anyone seriously studies them, there is a common core of values and teachings that is the legacy of ALL religions.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[Maverick001]

Originally posted by Vincent
Thanks dude, I think I needed to here that.

Man are you a teacher or what? Sounds like I'm reading a thesis on philosophy, very well written.

Vincent,

No, I'm not a teacher but thanks for the compliment on the post.

I'm a student here at sosuave but since I'm a little older than some of the guys on the forum, I've "endured" a few things along the way that others may yet experience.

In this way, I hope to highlight the pitfalls and promise of what may come to pass for those who are treading the path behind me and I hope to also receive advice and suggestions in the same vein from those walking ahead of me.

Also, I hear you about the challenges of higher studies. Keep in mind that academic institutions go out of their way to weed out students in their first year of post high school, so that's a normal thing. Just prioritize what you need to get done there and you'll be fine.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[Maverick001]

Tatic be sure it's just a phase!

Blue Phoenix,

Excellent observation and you're exactly right. Things change. They always do.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[squirrels]

Even Jesus carried a cross. Even he didn't want to, but did it anyway. And when he died, he was probably more hated than anyone...especially by the church.

Pick up the Bible and read it for yourself. Then find a christian group that matches YOUR beliefs.

 

[Maverick001]

Love is eternal and everlasting it is not momentary or fleeting. You are seeking a permanent loving relationship not with just a woman or humanity but with your creator - love encompasses all realms and is part of the natural order of things! Love is not about taking or receiving, it is about giving and sharing - 'love' starts within you and should be measured internally and not from external forces! Do you understand?

PuertoRican_Lover,

Excellent exposition.

This is really turning into a good thread.

I would add that love is also healing, both oneself and your beloved.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Tactic, I see your problem - you want to be loved but you have mistaken attention and acceptance from others as 'love'. Love is bigger and deeper than what you define it as. Lusting in unfulfilling physical relationships is not love - and trying to get attention and seeking approval from others is not love. You are looking for love in the wrong places.

Love is eternal and everlasting it is not momentary or fleeting. Love is not about taking or receiving, it is about giving and sharing - 'love' starts within you and should be measured internally and not from external forces! Do you understand?

Life is not easy or hard, it is what it is - you can make it hard or easy depending on your attitude and perspective and how you see and deal with your reality and others in your life.

Many many people go around this life:

getting drunk;

looking for relationships;

going to parties;

using others;

having lots of sex;

worshipping money, status...

All in an attempt to find happiness, when it's within you!

PRL you hit the nail on the head with your quotation!

Anyway, PRL did you notice that your quote is what's behind Aws actions?

 

[Desdinova]

Usually i wait for a message from them and they send one, now they don't. Usually they notice me alot, now they don't. Usually they love me more, now they don't as much. Usually, their attention is set on me, now they don't as much. Usually, they showed alot of interest to me, now they don't as much. Usually, they appreciated me being in Church, now they don't show it. Usually they laughed when i said something, now they don't. Usually when i try to be calm in response, they are not. Usually, when i come to Church, i wait for everyone to say hi and prop me and notice me and ask me stuff. Now they don't.

Do you mind if I ask you something? Are you a fairly new member in your church?

The reason I ask is because some religions get quite excited when someone new joins their faith, or a newcomer arrives. After the newness of this person wears off, things go back to normal. You aren't new and special now, you're just one of the others. Therefore, the attention drops because nobody is really interested in you as a person, they're just happy that their religion has gained a new member.

If this doesn't seem to be an issue, perhaps you need to do the approaching and make conversation with other people rather than wait for them to come to you. If you put your effort toward one person, and there isn't any interest coming from their end, then find someone else to befriend.

I'm just a guy who wants love.

Have you ever considered trying to love yourself? It sounds like you're trying to give love to god, women, and everyone else but yourself. Find some good qualities about yourself, and work to make them shine. Make some short term goals and work at achieving them. It's the greatest feeling when you achieve one of your own goals. You get to say, "Damn, I'm good!" It helps to build your self-image and it's very rewarding. You'll begin to feel as if you can conquer the world, and nobody's going to stop you.

 

[tactic]

Nothing dis-matches (or doesn't fit) with my Church group. NOTHING. The only that doesn't might be the quietness of me. I'm not a quiet guy in School, but i am in Church.

Yes, i have been a new member about 6 months ago. Everyone cheering me, talking to me, asking me questions, getting to know me, hugging me, propping me, saying hi to me, and LOVING me so much.

Love is the most important and the most wantable thing in the world, possibly. You show love by caring. You show love but showing that you will love him or her. When i refer to love, i mean loving as Christians. Not love with emotional crush feelings. Christians learn to love one another, a male Christian loves a male Christian, and vice versa for females. It doesn't mean you are gay or a lesbian, it means you are what God wants you to do.. love one another. In another way of saying it is.. care. Not giving sexual feelings to one another, if you are dealing with the same sex.

Desdinova, you are very correct. What you just posted was completely true. Everyone seemed grateful to show me the way to God more. For helping keep the Church strong. I helped, showed no tiredness, offered to help as always and did anything they told me. I was always patient, kind, and laughed. However, i found out.. i don't smile. It's been 6 months and now it feels like love has been lost all of a sudden. Not slowly, but all of a sudden. They've still talked to me though. They've played around saying i was really mad when one of the members didn't come.

Now about my personality, it's not that great. In my opinion, everybody (in school) might think i act st*pid. The way how i talk, not my voice, but the way how i say things. I'm not the best socializer. I'm not great. But i can be fun. I'm not the guy who asks so many questions and i'm not the guy who is slow towards others. I am serious.

I want a serious relationship, that is fun. A fun way of being with others. However, only if they did not call me names. Only if they didn't think i was a dodo bird.

First of all, i'm not a dodo-bird. Nor do i have no brains. I can respect others. If i act st*pid, then i am called st*pid. So the way how i act is the way how i will be called back describing myself. Now. I want a serious friendship that will get me closer with everyone. I've experienced socializings alot. Yet, i feel lack. Now i do.

My chest feels heated everytime i experience pain, but i always learn from it. This time........ i don't think so.

 

[Desdinova]

Christians learn to love one another

I've learned that there is a difference between truly loving one another, and being told to love one another. If someone tells you to be happy, can you automatically become happy? It's the same with love. Nobody can tell a person to love somebody, and they automatically love everyone in the world. Love has to be developed, not forced, just like happiness.

In my opinion, everybody (in school) might think i act st*pid.

Not sure what grade your in. It just might be the maturity level of people around you. Things change when school is finished. The biggest negative in school is having a bad reputation. It's a sad truth. Do what you can to date or find friends outside of your school. That way, your reputation won't interfere with your relationships.

 

[tactic]

I was referring to my old friends. College is when everyone matures, but in High School is where you experience alot of racisms. However, these racisms also occur (now) outside anywhere.

 

[LifeFirst]

WE MUST ENDURE TO CONTINUE. I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU ASK YOURSELF WHY....BUT YOU MUST. IT'S YOU LIFE FOR REALS.

Hang on for a little while longer, then that's when the clouds will go away and Sunshine will come in your Life.

You gotta be dependent and stop asking other people. There are times when other people don't know **** about you. You must face/prepare for the possibility of doing it along...and don't turn your back or backtrack....always move forward. Life is hard because death is easy. It natural dammit....KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.