Let's Be Real Here Pt.4 - "GAME" alone cannot create physical attraction

[DreamAgain]

This is true. If a woman has a minimum looks threshold and you're below it, no amount of talk and behavior can change that.

I'm not one of those guys who believe game is a wonderful magic that can persuade any woman, it's not. It is necessary though. She does point this out in a way, looks got his foot in the door, but without the charm the door would shut again.

I might be a bit biased though. I consider my own looks to be a bit above average, I also definitely got the height. I didn't even realize this back when I struggled. All I did change was my personality and the difference was huge in terms of women. It could be that this was all I lacked and I always did have the right look (it could be better, but I mean good enough, above the threshold).

It makes me wonder if there are more guys there who are looking good enough, but keep grinding away at perfecting their looks, ignoring working on their "game" when they could at least start getting success with women much faster. This can come from poor self-image, like I had, I didn't think I was good enough until I just decided that I was and started acting accordingly.

From what I've seen, if you look somewhere around average or better it's not hard to have success with women if you know what you're doing. Sure, if you're noticably below average you should definitely enhance what can be enhanced because the chances will be too low.

What I really want to kill is the false dilemma of it all. Should you work on looks or game? To that my answer is yes, do both. Don't go for just trying to improve looks thinking it will solve everything while neglecting the other aspects that affect attraction. Just like someone shouldn't go for pure game thinking it will solve everything while they neglect looks, looking like a goblin.

That's what I find so stupid about the "what is better, looks or game?" threads, both matter. Maybe the guys talking down on game just always had it naturally, but they didn't have the looks until they worked on it and now they have success, so looks is EVERYTHING. Just a thought, could be they're as biased as me from their own personal anecdotal experience.

I think game is such an ambiguous term, but I agree with the general sentiment that you should improve everything. Looks, social skills, knowledge, finances. There is no time to rest because someone better is just 1 click away for many of these women.

How did you run into these desirable women, where did you meet them?

What are your minimum criteria for deciding to spend time with a woman? I think on the looks front most here require she be thin and have a pretty face. This takes away many candidates in the west already with obesity on the rise big time.

I think it is pretty obvious what guys need to do in order to "level up" in 2023, but the bigger question is, where do you find the females who have equally leveled up to your level?

 

[Serenity]

How did you run into these desirable women, where did you meet them?

I'm Norwegian and live in Norway, so that's a bit of an advantage... Good women aren't that rare here, both in terms of looks and personality. If this forum is anything to go by they're like unicorns over in the US.

 

[DreamAgain]

I'm Norwegian and live in Norway, so that's a bit of an advantage... Good women aren't that rare here, both in terms of looks and personality. If this forum is anything to go by they're like unicorns over in the US.

Yes, when I visited Oslo I saw many good looking women.

 

[BeExcellent]

I can see that receiving a lot of attention is every woman's personal drug of choice, even for a married one. A woman's game is to dress or create an environment in which she would attract the most interest, or even make the suitors compete for her.

It would be interesting to know you honest thoughts on what might happen if you came across a man that is taller, more handsome, with a better physique and net worth that your current husband?

Couple things here. One is that attention from people you are NOT interested in gets old. What if you had an unattractive girl throwing herself at you (or countless unattractive girls)? You’d get tired of it.

That is why I say I am grateful (because beauty is a gift, and on the one hand I appreciate that asset), but it is a responsibility too because people place all sorts of assumptions on you, pay unwanted attention, etc.). That can be a burden.

Attention in and of itself is NOT my “drug of choice” at all. I rarely wear make up on my day to day, wear very little make up (mascara & lipstick) at work, and dress in a ladylike manner. For my husband I’ll get dolled up if we are going out. But literally for years I have actively downplayed my looks because I wish to discourage rather than encourage unwanted attention. Men still hit on me.

So the first assumption you make about me isn’t true and never was.

The question you pose is ridiculous from where I sit. Your question assumes I’d be open to another man, actively looking and comparing even. But I’m not. You see I chose my husband. Does not matter who else comes along. I’m not open to another man, period. Doesn’t matter who he is or what he looks like.

That is loyalty borne of character. Yes I’ve had other very handsome successful men in my environment before, so what? I didn’t chose those men. I chose my husband. I gave a vow to be faithful and be with him for the rest of our lives. And that is exactly what I am going to do.

This is why character is so important and character is what you need to look for in a woman.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's always interesting how two people can do the same thing and come to vastly different conclusions.

When I was the best I'd ever looked in life, I would just have normal, effortless conversations with women, not practicing game at all, and that's all it took.

I think game is disingenuous if it's not a part of who someone is, which is why it doesn't work many times. If you're "turning on" your personality when you're around a woman and you're not naturally like that, I think women pick up on it and as a result it doesn't work.

Every now and then I see a video of a guy talking to a girl and I just think to myself.. "this is so forced and unnatural"

Paul Janka is more of my style. Indirect and natural.

Concur 100% about Paul Janka.

 

[itouchyou]

It makes me wonder if there are more guys there who are looking good enough, but keep grinding away at perfecting their looks, ignoring working on their "game" when they could at least start getting success with women much faster. This can come from poor self-image, like I had, I didn't think I was good enough until I just decided that I was and started acting accordingly.

I am guilty of this. I'm probably at 15-17% bodyfat right now and the difference in my face when I get to 9% is like going from a 5/10 to 8-9/10. Literally get women aggressively staring me down when I'm lean. They also approach. I grew up unattractive for the majority of my life and as a result that mindset stuck with me forever. I operate purely based on logic and as a result, when I get to 9% I know how attractive I am and then act accordingly.

The odd thing is, even now at 15-17% bodyfat, women strike up conversations with me waiting for the elevator and whatnot, and they're pretty friendly. My past experience being chubby vs lean tells me that attractive women do not strike up conversations with men like this unless they're attractive. Maybe I'm too hard on myself.

Attention in and of itself is NOT my “drug of choice” at all. I rarely wear make up on my day to day, wear very little make up (mascara & lipstick) at work, and dress in a ladylike manner. For my husband I’ll get dolled up if we are going out. But literally for years I have actively downplayed my looks because I wish to discourage rather than encourage unwanted attention. Men still hit on me.

I noticed this about an older lady I was interested in a while back. She wore no makeup when travelling alone, but in all her private gatherings with husband/friends/family she puts it on. Takes her from a 5/10 to probably 9/10. Makes sense, and it's what I deduced so the fact that you confirm it makes sense.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Can you seduce women with just your words? Yes, you can. In the comment section on a Quora answer, some women react:

 

[BoostedArrow]

Can you seduce women with just your words? Yes, you can. In the comment section on a Quora answer, some women react:
View attachment 12538

Quora is the cancerous brother of reddit

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Quora is the cancerous brother of reddit

Quora changed a lot in the last decade, mostly because they became greedy and wanted to commercialise the website. So they moved from rewarding the writers of the answers to rewarding people for asking questions. And they didn't care about the quality of the questions, so Quora was flooded with an avalanche of inane questions.

And then the hoes came to try and get you to interact with them like you're on a fuucking dating app. Which is why my Quora bio starts with:

Inbox is open, but not for ‘investment opportunities’ or scam artists, who will be blocked and reported. Also, while I’m not in a committed relationship, don’t approach me to ‘get to know me better’. Quora is not a dating app for me, so only message me if you want to discuss something private.

And I still get a lot of 'women' chatting me up on Quora. Some of them might be real women, most of them are attention/validation seekers and/or con/scam artists.