Konada's Journal: The time is now.

[Konada]

After all those years of putting up with girls and people flaking, ignoring me and plain dissing me. The Frustration. The Hurt. The Anger. It all ends today.
Now.

This is a journal of my journey towards a life of self improvement and having seen the plethora that this site has enlightened me with, I have decided to share this journey with the rest of the community. Doesn't hurt to say that I am from Singapore.

Here are the things that I want to improve most in my life now:
1. Get my grades up, its my last year in college and my path to future.
2. Bulk up to 130 lbs by December. I currently weigh 100 lbs at 170cm (no joke)
3. Be more confident and get my self esteem up. Find joy in talking to new people. It's gonna be hard since most people here are just plain unfriendly (even my neighbours)
4. Excel in fencing. Have a under 20s competition coming up in May so I'm really looking forward to improving my peformance till then.
5. Get together with quality girls (most of em are just slvts at my college so it's hard to find a quality girl)
6. Adapting my game for my social context. I realise that this site gives mainly advice in reference to American culture and how girls usually act there. Girls here (quality girls) usually are more reserved and don't take too kindly to sexual jokes.

So that's my plan and journey to a much more fufilling life. As I said, this journey begins today and I want to share it with you guys. To prove to myself and to the other guys out there who are in the same situation as me, "When you believe, You act, You become."

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You only weight 100 pounds?? Wow...

 

[Konada]

Yep. Gotta admit that comment stinged but i guess its all part of striving to become a better person!

 

[Xanthus]

Good job Konada. You've got a lot of worthwhile goals to work on.

I hear what you're saying about finding joy in talking to new people or even just those that are currently around you. Believe me, you're not the only one who lives amongst unfriendly neighbors. Then again, maybe it's your current state of confidence which is making you think about others not being as friendly. Don't let that deter you.

It's funny that once you get to working on your goals, your vibe changes and those around you will soon adapt to it. You'll eventually be conversing with those who you thought weren't all that friendly to begin with. Plus, they may turn out to be good folks in the end.

Keep us updated on your progress and much success to you on bettering your life.

Xanthus

 

[BigCat]

:woo: Hey Konada good luck with your goals, looks like they are very similar to mine. I can certainly help with weight gain seeing as I pretty much did that a couple of years back

 

[Konada]

Day 1: 25th April 2011

Started as a normal day of school, except now I carry with me a more postivie and cheery vibe around me. Said a cheerful 'Hello!' to a sleepy HB 5 in my class, got a expected sleepy reply. Made some fluff talk with her and she told me she noticed how 'alive' i was today. Made me feel good that people have already started to notice my change even though its the first day So went around doing my normal stuff, I have to say that keeping up this energy is very very very tough, especially when tutorials here have the main purpose of sapping the very essence of joy out of you.

Overall I felt I had a wonderful day at school today. My guy friends are having more fun with me around and stuff like that. Too bad I was feeling pretty bummed after that because my close friend told me something every guy almost never wants to hear.
Refer to this thread for some background info:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=183772

So HB7.5 has a boyfriend already and I was feeling pretty bummed about it since I could've made a move awhile ago when she wasn't attached and into me. Blame my lack of balls/AFC behavior then.. (Regret is worse than rejection comes to mind) Now I think it's time to move on and contrary to how others think about boyfriends and game, I respect the guy until he gives me a reason not to.

So after that I went home around 6pm and hit the gym after that. I am on a Lower Body Weight Conditioning program today by Vince Delmonte "No Nonsense Muscle Building Program". Skipped some exercises due to the lack of proper gym equipment but improvised some of my own that were equally as hardcore if not more :rockon:

Here are my stats for my workout today (It's pretty laughable since I'm an ectomorph xD)

Single Leg Curl 2 x 13 reps 22lbs

Single Leg Extension 2 x 13 reps 22lbs

DB Bulgarian Squat 2 x 8 reps 10lbs

Deadlifts DB 2 x 8 reps 22lbs

*Improvised stuff here* 2 x 10 reps Body Wt.

Finished of with Ab Circuits x 1 (Already freaking winded by then)
1. Air bike crunch 15 reps
2. Full situps 15 reps
3. Side Crunch 15 reps
4. Alternating Toe Touch 15 reps
5. Double leg supine raise 15 reps

Skipped Janda situps and hip thrusts due to lack of form, have to practice them at home.

I have to say that even though I had to skip some workout routines I was pretty winded out whilst at the same time disappointed and I felt like every muscle in my quads, calves, hams, abs were torn apart. I stumbled home like a guy who recently had anestethic injected into his legs. My lower body was really torn apart but I felt great since I finally did something about working towards my goal of 130lbs. Have to work on incorporating the rest of the routines in as I can manage.

However, my dad adviced me to try swimming for a change instead of this 'muscle building program' as he says it. He says it'd help me build up broad shoulders and a more balanced physique overall. However, I know that swimming promotes a lean muscular build that might take sometime to build up (longer than this muscle building program i suppose). So should I take his advice to ditch this program and start swimming? Or shall I just bulk up and get toned by swimming later? Suggestions?

Thats basically the end of Day 1 of my journal. Looking forward to Thursday for some free fencing action, have been itching to fence since 3 weeks ago heh.

 

[BigCat]

HB5 - isn't that an oxymoron lol?

I highly recommend Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe for gaining muscle mass and strength.

Feel free to acknowledge my previous comment anytime at all btw

 

[vwmaniac]

Because of your body type you need to do short, high intensity workouts and eat like crazy. After about 20-25 minutes of intense work your body will use up most of the energy stores from your last couple meals and start burning fat. Unfortunately you don't have fat to burn up so it will consume the same muscles you are trying to bulk up. I would recommend doing full-body exercises at least 40% of the time, and have a dedicated leg day. Your quads and hamstrings are giant muscles compared to others, build those more and you get a huge testosterone boost, which helps build the rest of you faster. Swimming will keep you smaller as well as any cardio, so stay away from those until you have the muscle size you want. Get some 20minute workouts in 4-5 days a week and take protein right afterwords. Because you are so light, you will only benefit from about 20-25grams of protein post-workout. Good luck and stick with it!

 

[alecks]

dont listen to your dad,swimming will only burn into calories you need,eat **** loads,i mean thousands of calories a day,buy a weight gainer,eat 3 or 4 jars of peanut butter every week and lift heavy...if u keep it up you will have decent frame that youl be proud of.more confident in yourself and the women,trust me its hard...i never had the problem myself but a friend of mine did,weighed 120 and was about 6,3...unbelievably skinny,i put him ona diet and training program and hes now around 185 not ripped but good solid muscle.just eat loads man,get your workouts right,dont bother with them ab excercises either

 

[Konada]

Day 2: 26th April 2011

Still was pretty trashed from yesterday's workout and went to school like a zombie today. HB5 from my fencing club approached me and i fluffed talked a
little with her (dont know why average girls keep approaching me) but ended up no where. Have to work on my skills to make conversations interesting. Advice anyone?

I kinda let the whole positive vibe go today and reverted back to my old self. I was like 'sh*t this isn't happening' and for some reason I can't find that reset button to my whole 'inner cool'. Yeah and I ran out of balls to talk to the HB7.5 I am crushing on right now damnit I felt like I was a total mess today. I have a gut feeling I might be developing oneitis for her.

Hopefully tomorrow will get better, working out on full body weight conditioning tomorrow.

PS: Starting this journal has helped me to realise to full extent how much of a recluse and pvssy I am still currently and I'm pretty pissed about that. It's really giving me motivation to keep up the 'Never say die' attitude but I have a long long way to go. Baby steps at a time...

 

[Konada]

Because of your body type you need to do short, high intensity workouts and eat like crazy. After about 20-25 minutes of intense work your body will use up most of the energy stores from your last couple meals and start burning fat. Unfortunately you don't have fat to burn up so it will consume the same muscles you are trying to bulk up. I would recommend doing full-body exercises at least 40% of the time, and have a dedicated leg day. Your quads and hamstrings are giant muscles compared to others, build those more and you get a huge testosterone boost, which helps build the rest of you faster. Swimming will keep you smaller as well as any cardio, so stay away from those until you have the muscle size you want. Get some 20minute workouts in 4-5 days a week and take protein right afterwords. Because you are so light, you will only benefit from about 20-25grams of protein post-workout. Good luck and stick with it!

Yeah I'm trying to get my form right with my whole body being balanced atm with the body weight conditioning thing. Problem is the entire workout takes me about 1 hour to complete (with 60 seconds rests between sets) so is this going to affect my bulking up?

 

[Konada]

Was sleepy so really didn't update much heh

Day 3:
Nothing much has been going on in school so no news about that. I did a full body weight workout (20 seconds, constant speed of exercise, 20 seconds rest between exercises, 1 min rest between sets, 3 sets) and believe me it was very intense towards the last all-out set. I literally sprawled on the floor after the workout but everyday I'm doing this I feel more motivated to carry on toward my goal of 130lbs by December.

Day 4:
I'm beginning to feel my guy friends are enjoying their time around me more often since I'm always carrying a positive vibe on me right now. My confidence to engage in convos is slowly but surely rising. Still have the problem of making small talk out of nowhere with girls in my class. I find that I can't seem to connect with them (they're always constantly *****ing about how they hate this person in my class, what they do every minute of our lives.) and it's just isn't me to participate in bashing someone behind his back or talk about every single thing about my life. (Is this a problem?) But something I realised today is that action without thought really helped me push past the barrier of trying to approach the HB7.5 I was talking about. Yeah, some silly comment just blurted out of my mouth during a lecture and she giggled but after that I just blanked (dammit). Guess I still have to work on talking to girls :l

I was kinda hyped for fencing today but it was already too late for me to go the club as it's an hour's ride from my house and I was dismissed pretty late so I'm pretty bummed.

Good thing is prior to the program I started on I weight 100lbs, after 4 days of eating like a monster, working out as hard as I could, I gained 3 lbs! Feel so much pumped up to continue with my workout, can't wait to see my results in 6 months time!

 

[Konada]

Day 5: Did an upper body workout today i'll post my stats later sleepy...Anyway saw my HB8 neighbour, started up some fluff talk got back into working out (I make it a point to get stuff done in the gym and jo other nonsense). Went home and saw a foreign dude taking the same lift as me, I managed to come up with a friendly smile at him and he smiled back but thats all. Even though it may seem small, I feel working out has given me much confidence in interacting with people. Looking back, I can't comprehend my fear of interacting with others. Will update soon

 

[BadNews]

Konda, look go to stronglifts.com and download the guy's free book called "Strongman 5x5". This is THE workout you want to be doing. Also...you need to eat..ALOT. Try to eat something every two hours. Something = a small meal atleast. The best way to gain weight is just eat eat eat. That 5x5 program is EXACTLY what you want to be doing for your body type and your goals.

Best of luck.

 

[Konada]

Nothing much today except for one approach chance that I could've taken. Saw a HB6.5 at a clinic, reason why I am at the clinic is another story, got a lot of eye contact from her. So she went somewhere for awhile and then sat next to me (sign of interest?) whilst there are plenty of seats available. At that moment I chickened out instead of taking the chance to talk to her qnd ended up sitting there like a total retard. Then again, there was this guy loitering around the clinic but I didn't think much of it until she called him 'Dad'. Blessing in disguise maybe, wouldn't want to get in troublefor hitting on a chick infront of her dad heh.

EDIT: Now that I think of it, I'm kicking myself over a missed opportunity to improve myself. Damn you social anxiety!

 

[kentgraham10]

Your eye clinic story reminded me of a story from when I was on vacation about a year ago. Keep these interactions fresh in your head and use them as motivation to improve yourself. Good luck!

 

[Konada]

Your eye clinic story reminded me of a story from when I was on vacation about a year ago. Keep these interactions fresh in your head and use them as motivation to improve yourself. Good luck!

Lol don't know where did you get the idea I went to an eye clinic haha. Anyway it was a chance I would've taken if my fears didn't overwhelm me. Feeling so damn frustrated now damn

 

[kentgraham10]

Lol don't know where did you get the idea I went to an eye clinic haha. Anyway it was a chance I would've taken if my fears didn't overwhelm me. Feeling so damn frustrated now damn

WOW, where did I get eye clinic from? Must of been the part of the story where you talked about eye contact lol.

 

[Konada]

3 May 2011

Exams are coming in a few weeks' time and my work is looking pretty good atm. Women have been the last thing on my mind lately despite what this site is all about (irony much?) so haven't been doing any approaching. Started on week 1 of DJ boot camp and so far I only managed to establish proper eye contact with one stranger and gave him a friendly smile. It's amazing to see how fast many people here break eye contact once you catch them looking at you.

Went home after school, did 2nd week of workout. Today was lower body workout and here are my stats:
Calve raise DB 2x20 24lbs

Single leg curl 2x15 20lbs

Single leg extension 2x15 20lbs

DB Bulgarian Split Squat 2x8 12lbs

DB Deadlits 2x8 24lbs

Comparing this to last lower body workout I have increased intensity and workload. Probably a good sign that I'm on the right track. 2 weeks more of such workouts and I will be going into real lifting and will have to find a proper gym. Missed fencing last week but going to go his thursday for sure, so psyched for it!

On a side note, my schedule in school has totally messed up my eating routine (which means I am getting less calories per day and to make it up in more weight gain shakes). Have to say the weight gain shakes from GNC taste like diabetes in a cup and it is absolutely horrible to down that much powder in 1 sitting. As I'm typing this I'm feelig awfully sick from the shake I just downed. Any recommendations for good weight gain shakes that taste good and beneficial as well?

 

[Konada]

6 May 2011
Sorry been busy so didn't have time to update. Went fencing yesterday and first off I started to talk to the coach about some random stuff. It pretty much ended up being a rather in depth talk about life and sh1t like that. Asking questions really works man. Met a few new faces around here, made an effort to introduce myself to the new people there and made some fluff talk with a HB6 I met there but didn't want to follow up on it anyway. So I felt pretty much confident yesterday and my efforts to approach people are paying off heh.

Went out with friends today and I noticed lots of girls looking at me (probably my dress sense since I'm still damn skinny lol), tried to establish EC but most of em kept breaking off. Still have to work on approaching women who actually notice me. Other than that it was a guyz night out and had fun wih my mates I have never seen in a while.

Did a weight check-in today and I gained 1lbs in the 2nd weem. I weigh 105lbs right now 25 more lbs to go!