Hi Intermediate Donjuaner!
I agree with your earlier post. Women CAN pick you up (though I'd be a bit suspicious when they do). I just don't think ANY MAN should COUNT on being picked up.
The Nice Guy sits there thinking, "Please pick me up. Please pick me up. Please pick me up." No guy should COUNT on women picking him up. He must seize the day.
About what other Don Juaners had said,'hitting' is not good as we showed up as desperate but if we don't act,we just look like a nice guy which means low confidence.
Confidence! It has become that holy grail of the Don Juan quest. It is as if all Don Juan advice is given in two words, "Be Confident!" but it's not like a light switch you can simply turn on.
I've noticed about myself (and others) is that you're only truly confident when the word confidence never pops into your mind. Confidence is a state of mind, more of a
comfortableness of who you are and where you are going in life.
Try going anywhere and say to yourself, "I feel happy today!" Does that instantly make you happy? Of course not. Why? Because happiness is a mindset. It's not a lightswitch you can turn on.
The same is so with confidence: "I feel confident today!" *Poof* (Pook then obtains superhuman abilities and approaches every chick he sees.)
And of course that doesn't happen. Confidence, like happiness, is a mindset. (Notice how suave guys and nice guys
think different. It's all in the mind.)
(And you could say there is a difference between confidence and
situational confidence. Situational confidence, I'd say, is more of getting over your shyness (i.e. fear of failing) and seize action.)
Although I'm sure many here have a different definition of
hitting but I define it as coming on to a woman with blatant sexual interest.
This turns women off!
Women think (and are correct) that guys want only one thing. A woman wants to be cherished.
After all, us guys want the same. Imagine how you'd feel if women
hitted on you... for sex? No, for
money. You would rightly say, "Hey! Is that all you can think about,
money?" It would turn you off because the person is not interested in you for you. The same applies with 'hitting on' women (women may love it because it shows they're desired, but it grows old for them fast).
Ever heard the advice of complimenting a women (of her choices like her clothes, decisions, skills, hair, etc.) but not her body? You don't go around showing your sexual interest.
Have you noticed how women act when they approach
you? They ask about you, they talk to you about anything, but they dare not show their interest. They sneakily skip around it. We need to do the same.
Women, amazingly, are extremely good at detecting your interest, sexual or otherwise. If you come to them, drooling and with hungry eyes, they will know it even if you are pulling off every suave maneuver and following the Lay Guide completely.
The solution? Kill your interest, and with it desperation.
Don't just stand there and ogle, of course. Just be fun. Go in and chat but purge the interest from your mind. Trust me, you'll be much more attractive when you do (Think back to the times when women came on to you. It was always when women were the last thing on your mind.)
So,tell me,if you are in bars and you feel like going up to that lady and start a conversation,how would you handle the situation?If you go up and hit on her,bad sign.If you wait for her to come,that equals to Mr nice guy.How would you handle such a situation?
Well, bars aren't my typical thing. But its a different environment and girls go there to be hit on, so you might as well go with it. I just don't think hitting on girls (showing sexual interest) will get you that far
in usual situations.
I had a friend who read this thread before he went out with several of his friends just recently. They all met this fabulous girl. Of course, his friends were practically drooling all over her, hitting on her, alluding to sex, etc.
He on the other hand went in completely desireless, just had as much fun as he could with her.
Who do you think she wanted to sleep with at the end of the night?
Good guess.