Robert28 said:
I met this pretty cute girl today(HB 7) and we were casually talking.
I'd be curious to know what this "casually talking" consisted of. Like what was the topic of conversation. Because if this "casual talking" had been going on for a while,then maybe it was while all this talking was going on that she realized that she wasn't attracted to you,so she gave the "just looking for friends" speech so you wouldn't bother trying to ask her out so she wouldn't have to turn you down.
Like Captain said,"Attraction isn't a choice".
Robert28 said:
all of a sudden she randomly brings up into the conversation how she's just looking for friends. nothing romantic, no friends with benefits, just hangout. as a matter of fact, these were her exact words, "I am only looking for friends, so if you're expecting this to lead to a friends with benefits situation or something more, move on. I am single, but I'm not even open to the possibility of anything romantic at this point. Ok, now that we have that out of the way...
Wow. I don't think I've ever heard a woman speak so bluntly before. To me,this sounds like she's been hurt before,so just to keep you at bay,she threw this out there to you.
If she had said that to me,I would have been like,"Ok,let me get this straight:You're only looking for friends,you are single,but at this point,you're not even almost open to the possibility of anything romantic. You want friends,and only friends,nothing more. Did I get all that right?
Her:Yes.
Me:Alright,that's cool. No problem,I understand that. You mind if I ask you a question though?
her:Sure,go ahead.
Me:So like,when are we goin' out? I want to see you.
Guarantee you she would have burst out laughing,and at the same time felt some chemistry/attraction towards you. Just because she "claims" to want to shut off her sexuality doesn't mean it should make you asexual around her.
If you go along with what she said,you're a guaranteed lock for the friendzone.
Robert28 said:
this girl was like "i would like to get to know you better blah blah blah".
So she said she'd like to get to know you better,but on
her terms. DON'T DO IT. If she leads,and you follow,she'll lead you right into the ditch.
Not intentionally,but the ditch is the ditch reguardless of how you get there. Also,if she sees she can control you,then ALL attraction for you will go out the window because she won't feel safe with you. If she,being a women,can push you around,then what'll happen if the two of you are out somewhere and some guy approaches her threatening her? If you can't even stand up to her,then how can you stand up
for her?
Robert28 said:
any thoughts on when a chick randomly tells you that shes just looking for friends? what does it REALLY mean?
She may mean this,but if a guy comes along who really excites her,who really turns her on,especially if she's single,you think she's going to stick by her rule? Especially knowing how much women complain about there not being any good men out there,and not being able to find chemistry with a guy? Please.
I don't know how long you've been hanging around this woman following her "just looking for friends" rule,but if it's been a while,you
may already be the latest victim of the friendzone.
So whatever you decide to do with this,good luck.