It's been a week since last time I've updated. Good stuff has happened since. Then, I started feeling sh1tty because the higher the emotional high, the lower the low risks to be! I had validation, then I didn't have it anymore. But I'm back on track.
Thursday, February 27th
I get to Modern Cinema class. This hottie, HB8, is checking me out from time to time during class.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnEfPE2hysg&list=UUFhYciYV6oyqrOfoZoyoYCg
At some point, I talk to Amy (HB6 lesbian girl) in French and then she starts copying my French accent lol. We talk for a bit.
At the end of class, I was walking out slowly, and then she walked right beside me. We talked for a while. I'm pretty sure she would be interested in me if I just pushed things a bit more.
Next class, I will.
I will not make the same mistake I did with Melissa. You guys will understand.
The day before,
I'm texting Sam, Melissa's friend to ask Melissa when she's coming to the lab the next day.
Friday, February 28th
I wake up, open my cellphone and Melissa got my number from Sam and sent me 2-3 big texts asking me if I'll be able to come to the lab with her at the same time.
I do end up seeing her. After I'm done with my pictures, I tell her that we'll see each other during the break. She gives me a smile I can't understand. Either it's "yeah maybe...", or the "please invite me out...", or the "I'm disappointed you didn't ask me earlier, because it's a bit late now...". The type of half-asses smile with a little nod, you can't tell if it's shy or just uninterested. Argh.
I'm just overanalyzing.
Night,
I go eat with Dominic, Adenis and his friends. Fun people, but their friends are so caught up in AFC, low-consciousness. That's how I see it. Can't blame them though. Everyone is like that. Everyone that is shy with women doesn't want to go out, go club, go to bars, and meet women. I totally understand that.
And I've
never met someone quite like me in my entire life.
No one is as motivated as me, and that's a fact. I've
never met anyone like that. Not even Porno.
I'm one in a million. I wish the world was more like me. I'm not perfect. I do lose motivation from time to time, but it always comes back with full force.
So I'm asking all of them to come to Pioneer. Only Dominic follows, because he has some drive to change. Haha, when he told me that he was nervous before entering the bar, I totally understood how he felt.
I'm giving up on Adenis. He has no drive. His attitude is disgusting. He's stuck in his shy self, stuck in unconsciousness. Sorry if you're reading this bro, but you're acting like a pvssy. You tell me you want to go out with me, but you always make excuses not to go. Just tell me in the face that you don't want to grow as a person. Just tell me that, I don't care. I won't be mean, I'll just be real.
You're a great guy, you're fun, you're cool to hang out with. But that's all you are, a good friend. Not a wing.
So yeah,
Went to Pioneer with Blondasian, Talya and Dominic. Dominic needs to build some of his social skills with girls. He's good with guys, but that doesn't get him laid, lol. He's not adding to my social life in terms of girls, but it's cool to have some guy you can kind of "mentor".
I hang out with guys really damn good like Denis. And then I can hang out with guys who wants to learn. So I have a good balance. Only hanging out with Denis, he'll steal all of my girls, though I learn so much from him. But I can also learn from the guys starting out. Cool.
Pioneer was cool. I did one approach, but nothing really. I did the "Aren't you in my class?" opener once again. It was cool chilling, like usual.
Saturday, March 1st
Met with HB Laos, after 2 years.
It was at H's party (H, remember? Go check back summer 2012).
So yeah,
I arrive at the party. I'm feeling totally confident, totally in the moment, at ease. I introduce myself to the few girls chilling outside the house. I see Laos again. I'm totally at ease with her. I'm not flinching at all. She's giggling and everything.
It was my 2014 new empowered, stronger self, meeting the 2012 Laos. It felt different.
I go inside, meet with everyone.
It's a party that's low key. No hot chicks really. There's one 7.5 and there's Laos, who's probably the cutest chick of all.
I chill with everyone. I'm playing it smooth and slow with Laos, not rushing in.
I reminded her of our times in high school. How I asked her out to prom, how I called her Anabella. Her reaction kind of struck me. She didn't remember much of it at all. She didn't remember the After-prom much. She didn't remember me asking her out. She concluded that we didn't really talk much in high school. And maybe that was true.
And I was looking at her like I was offering pure love. I wasn't really nervous or anything. I was just... offering. But seemed like she couldn't take it in. She had some sort of barrier. Youness tells me she has some shy barrier going on, which is right.
I flirted with the other average girls a bit. Some showed me some IOIs, but didn't act upon them. Fvck it lol.
At the very end, I tell Laos that we should go out and go get some bubble tea together. She agrees with a shy smile.
Later, I ask her if she's free Saturday. She tells me she's busy all weekend, and the one after.
Me : Fvck you! Just tell me yes or no, don't beat around the bush!
Her eyes widened at that point.
Her : Yeaaah, I'm serious! I'm busy, I'll let you know if I can later.
Me : Alright.
And then I just walked off, let her leave.
2012 is 2012. Life is transient, you can't latch on to the past.
Texted Melissa,
Told her to keep her phone open the next day, because I'll call her. She agrees, seems into it.
Sunday, March 2nd
Went to N's birthday.
N hasn't changed much at all. He invited us for dinner, only guys. The same old guys, including Francis, the dude who I fvcking hate and who always gives me the weird "Why the fvck are you acting so weird" look. He hasn't changed the slightest bit either.
To be honest, none of my friends from high school have changed. AT ALL. And it's scary to see.
People don't change. People always stay the same. People don't evolve, and that's just 95% of people in this world.
Yeah. Call me rude or call me real, but that's 95% of people. Who changes for the best? No one does.
Called Melissa,
Twice actually. Once earlier during the day, once at night. No answer. I text her to call me the next day before 6 PM.
Texting Mollie.
You remember Mollie? I met her a year ago. She was the girl with the cuts on her wrists, the girl who got super butthurt after I told her I didn't like bad girls like her. She agreed to go on a date the next day.
Arrived at bus stop.
See some girls from my college. Chat a bit, let them leave.
I see some cutie walking by. I don't know HOW, but IMMEDIATELY, I open like butter. It was automatic. We chat for a while. I go for the close, but she tells me that she has a boyfriend. Oh well, lol.