Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.

[Mindgamez]

Great progress.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hea59mZGrKA

I don't know what to think. Today, April 6th, feeling kind of down. I don't know why. Pick up is very hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever did in my life. Nothing ever challenged me that much emotionally and mentally. It's about a deep identity level change.
I made a lot of progress this week I'm not going to lie, but for some reason I'm still feeling like I have a lot more to accomplish. I feel like I could have pushed it just a LITTLE bit more and get so much more out of it. Whatever.
I want to inspire the world. Porno and me want to do some conference at school, like RSD, about self-development. We'll manage to make it last an hour or or an hour 30. I will better myself not only for myself, but also to tell my story to others. I want them to know from where I came from, how much effort I put into this.

Then, I realized that you cannot become good at pickup without risking being creepy, without risking to annoy some people. You disturb society's ideal, you disturb the world's idea about what's right or wrong. You shake your own reality to redefine it for what it should really be. You shake the world around you. You cannot become good at ANYTHING without risking disappointing others, without risking to fail, without putting yourself out there, without going through fear.

This week, approaches only at school
I remember this moment when I was with Porno at the cafeteria.

I dared myself to go approach those set of girls over there. 4 hot girls. I had the biggest anxiety ever. It felt like 2011 again, very nervous. Why? Because I was at school?
Porno : Come on man! No excuses!
I was just staying on my seat like a coward. I didn't want to put myself on the line. But I knew what was the right thing to do. Suddenly, I felt some magical force lift me up from the chair. It felt like EVERY little bit of willpower was concentrated for this very moment. This very approach. This approach wasn't any different or more special than other ones. It was all in my mind, I knew, and I had to learn to control my emotions.
I walked fast to the group of girls. Opened with the compliment. My heart was beating quite fast, but I wasn't bothered by it. They awkwardly looked at their phones and didn't answer, so I just ejected telling them how they're awkward.

This very first approach was the beginning of an awesome week. It was on Monday.

Later, I walk in the hallway with Porno and see some girl with her graded paper. 9/10 it said. I hesitated to go, but I had to say my situational opener(I hate calling it like that but whatever).
Me : Hey, can I cheat on you on the next test?
Her : Haha, are you in my class?
Me : Haha no, but I thought that you were really cute and I had to come and talk to you.
We talked for a while, walked to her locker. I went in for the number close, but apparently she was already seeing someone (even though not boyfriend) and wasn't interested. I was kinda reactive, even though not negative. That's why she kept her beautiful smile the whole time. She probably thought the approach was interesting and sweet.
I realized that when I approach confidently but with a quite negative/depressed vibe, the girls are repelled by it. It's not the confidence that makes it all, it's the bond between the two.

I don't really remember the rest...
I was good at socializing. I did approach some girls I never talked to before, had some funny conversation about how the muslim girls had to get forced marriage and not have sex (teasing)..

I remember asking that random girl out on a cotton candy date, because she didn't had any cotton candy and I did (lol).

I flirted with HB Mole a lot. She touched my nipples and I asked if I could touch hers in return. She giggled back. We sat on the same chair, went a little physical. Sexual jokes here and there, etc.
She was acting annoyed the whole time, but then I realized that she was playing around when she laughed and smiled again. She wanted me to stay with her and not leave.
Later on, my friend told me that she wanted to have sex with me, which I'm not sure about because she stopped responding to my sexual texts.

In english class,
Had to write a short story. I wrote it about my insta-date with the 21 year old hottie from last time! Hahaha!
2 other students had to read it. The other girl reading it was quite hot, I'd say HB7.5 or 8.
She was either shy, introverted or just not very receptive. It was quite hard to tell. She would look at her phone as I would talk to her. I called her up on it on some point and she putted it away.
Me : So you sing?
Her : Yeah.
Me : What you sing?
Her : Well, anything.
Me : In the shower?
I would do most of the talking. She would either give me very short answers or not say anything at all. Very confusing... I didn't know if she was interested or not.
After a long silence, she goes :
Her : Do you have any siblings?
Me : Lol what kind of question is this? Your pickup line?
Her : Haha, no just wanted to know.
Blabla.
Me : You should sing about me. Write a song about me.
She giggles
Her : You write it.
Me : Mhmhmh. Okay. *I think that Mindgamez is awesome, that I should feed him grapes and that I should totally go on a date with him! He likes purple grapes better than the green ones but we still have a lot in common!*
She laughed a lot on this one. When the class was over, told her to wait for me but she just left with her smile. So confusing...

In the same class, I talked to some girl I approached a looong time ago in October 2012. I always pussied out to talk to her again, but I did. She was quite receptive and happy, like she was waiting for this moment. Her face lit up when I got her name right. She ain't that hot, even though her eyes are gorgeous. I don't know, mhm...

VARIETY SHOW. HB9.5 was VERY flirty.
I pulled some KassemG. I was asking the same kind of questions he would ask, going very sexual.

I started off entering the backstage. Talked to my friends. The HB9.5(face is 8.5 but her PERFECT fake-like tits made her 9.5) was singing and practicing by herself. Seemed like no one dared to talk to her. Even the cool guys.
I sat next to her. Hesitated at first, but I had to talk.
Me : Are you ready?
Her : Ah yeah, but I'm quite nervous!
Blablabla, talk. She adjusts her top
Her : I have to adjust.
Me : But if you keep adjusting it, it just draws even more attention to your cleavage.
She laughs of recognition. At this point, I was feeling so present and confident, totally unreactive. Positive emotions flowing through. James Marshall style. I felt no pressure at all. It felt amazing.
She just kept playing with her top, even slid her hands on the side of her boobs like nothing happened. She was looking away at the same time, like she was giving me the opportunity to look at her immense tits without getting caught. I was getting so horny I could feel myself breathe faster. Not of nervousness, but horniness.
Me : If you're nervous, you could just do meditation! Simply sit like this... *cross legs*
Her : Oh I can't do that I have a minidress! It's going to show if I go like that...
She opens her legs and I saw a glimpse of her skin-colored panties.
Me : *big moan* Ahhhh stop! *I put my hand on my crotch* I didn't masturbate in a week, and if I see the slightest thing I'm going to explode I swear to god.
She opened her mouth in awe and giggled hard. She knew she was very attractive.
Her : It sucks because I live in residence and I have no privacy... I live with two other girls!
Me :This means you cannot play with yourself...
Her : Haha no!
I'm having a MASSIVE boner just writing about this LOL.

Later on she lifted herself up her chair, was getting ready for her performance. She was alone, I had to go talk to her again. I walked to her and started massaging her back. I got quite close from behind, my crotch sometimes touched her butt. I massaged her neck, said *Ouch!* and then grabbed my neck in a funny way.
We chatted, I talked softly in her ear. I give her a good hug, go in for the number.
Me : Hey wait, before you go. What's your number?
Her : Haha, why?
Me : Because you're hot.
I was totally confident, clear in my intent. She had a big smile on her face and gave it to me. By her very positive reacting, I could tell that she was very into me.

This was almost too good to be true I thought... How could I manage to attract some girl as fcking hot and sexy? How did I manage to go sexual so quickly but so effectively? How did I manage to get her horny that fast? She was showing off her boobs and she enjoyed it. She wanted to flash me her panties.
So this is what happened : SUCCESS BARRIER.
I started feeling nervous and chody. I sometimes would just stand next to her and not say anything. It was bad. If I wanted to stand next to her, I had to talk to her daamnn, but whatever. It doesn't matter because now I know.

 

[Mindgamez]

I have to learn to welcome success into my life. I have to understand that results happen for a reason, because I deserve it after those several months of taking action. Why am I so impressed with myself? Of course this gorgeous model-looking woman wanted to have sex with me. I just pussied out...

Later on, I caught her starting to ignore me kind of. I tried joining her conversation with friend but she was too busy talking to her. I just ejected, talked to some other cool guy. I made friends with him. He seems quite popular, he's very comfortable and seem quite good with girls too! I must hang out with this guy. We vibed together, had the same fun. It's cool to be around people that are just so relaxed and non-needy around people. He rapped at the talent show, quite cool.

Later, the hottie pulled out her phone to look at it. It was : Asians have small ****s but don't worry.
She immediately smiled and started texting. She wasn't texting me though, anyway.

When I went in for the hug again, she refused because I was sitting down and didn't want to stand up lool... I just let her left and didn't say anything about it like a TOTAL coward. I had too much pressure on myself at that point because my friends were watching. I all told them about how I was into her, etc.
It was ALL in my head. Omfg.

Later called her. Her voice sounded happy like she was trying not to giggle. Apparently she was in a rush, so I hung up after I told her to text me. She never texted back but whatever.
Later, I learned that she has a boyfriend which looks in his twenties. Ahhh damn!

That night,
COULDN'T sleep. I felt like my brain was rewiring itself. I started thinking how I could start attracting the hottest girls in the school. How my success with girls was going to sky-rocket. I then realized how being so sexually confident allowed me to feel horny much more easily. I love the nofap challenge.
Fell asleep, woke up at 2:15AM with thoughts racing. Had to meditate to calm myself down.

Friday, April 5th
Aced the film studies test!
After that, wanted to call HB Nipplez (it's been like a month since I texted her), but pussied out. I just chilled with Icy at the oval. We had some nice discussion about the game and self-development.

In English class, sit next to the shy/unreactive girl from last time. I gave her the smile, she didn't even bother smiling back or anything... I didn't talk to her again.

Epic approach. Daytime at mall.
Porno opens this set of 3 girls. The hotter girl in the middle HB8 says something I can relate to. I tell her she's awesome and go in for the hug confidently after 10 seconds of interaction.
I was excited. Totally in the moment. I held it long and she did the same. When I pulled back, I let my hands linger on her arms and she did the same for a couple seconds.
We kept talking to very close proximity, I'd say 3-4 inches away from my face. She was saying how she had a boyfriend and we couldn't make it happen. It didn't process in my mind and I just allowed myself to feel attracted.
I took her by the hand, spinned her around and laid her hand on my neck. She just kept her hand on here. I slid my hand on her back.
Porno : You guys would make a very cute couple! I could marry you guys!
I kneel on the floor and take her hand. I ask her in marriage.
Her : I don't wanna do this!
I stand up, give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She enjoyed it. I tried kissing her but was 2 centimeters away from her lips!
She probably really enjoyed it. Even though she has a boyfriend... She was with her friends too. We waved goodbye.

Went to a bar for the first time ever.
It SUCKED. It was Porno's friend's party. It was literally a ****fest, girls surrounded by tons of guys. I was about to flirt with that hot asian girl that opened me, but she started getting talked to by all the other guys around.
I lost my state so badly that night... I returned back.
Some policeman thought I was drunk and stopped me midway home lool.

Saturday, April 6th
Very nice day.

Started off TERRIBLE though. I was totally out of it. Maybe because of my previous night of not taking action at all.
Porno told me how I was so low in energy and totally out of it. It was totally true. At the moment, I was beating myself up for sucking so bad. I don't know why I'm feeling so negative about it! It doesn't happen often, we all have our bad days.
Got some number at the food court. Seemed like she gave it to me out of pity. I was way too needy on that one, felt like it wouldn't work at all.

We go downtown and approach approach approach.
Some were pretty harsh rejections. Especially that one in the bus. She literally told me not to touch her even though she was pretending to act nice the whole time by talking to me. She was stuck with me anyway LOL, on the bus **** that b1tch.

It's CRAZY how I can feel on top of the world one day and feel like sh1t the next moment.

That next approach, I realized how I had to self-amuse myself and not take it so seriously.
Me : HEY excuse meeh. Wud yu lieek to go on some teaaa date with meh?
The two girls looked at me weird with a funny smile.
Me : Just kidding, you girls are cute!
Blablabla. We did an excellent job at isolating our girl. I got much more confident. I was letting myself be hypnotised by her pretty eyes. Her words didn't matter. I just went in for the hug, we held long. Pulled back to let my hands linger on her elbows. We talked more, close proximity, couple inches away.
Hugged her like 2 more times, kissed her on the cheek. Went in for the lips but she backed off.
We talked more.
I opened my arms welcoming her for a hug again. Our faces were about to collide. SHE WANTED TO KISS DAMNIT! But right before our lips could touch, I pussied away and turned my head to the side.
Me : Ohhh damn we almost kissed! It's a little early though, hehe.
She giggled. She would laugh the whole time. She was very interested.
Me : Hey, what about we go on a date Sunday?
Her : Oh I can't. My parents are moving that day.
Me : Oh okay that's fine. Sometimes next week then! We'll go to ______.
Her : Yeah sure!
Me ; We'll go eat and then go play some Wii Fit or something.
She giggled again. I ask for the number, then she pulls out her iPod to put my number in. She told me how she didn't have a cellphone but could still text with her iPod lol (you can, but it sucks lool).
I don't know how this could go wrong. Though maybe it did... She didn't text me yet. It's very tricky!

I think I'm becoming good at doing those very fast escalating and going physical, but I have to make a deeper connection between the both of us. Maybe that's what's missing? More interesting engaging conversations?

I did another approach with two very hot girls again.
Porno talked to the other girl. It was hard to isolate on that one, but still. After 5 seconds, I hugged her tight, pulled back and let my hands linger on her elbows (she did the same). I looked into her eyes with pure love, no resistance at all. No words were said. It wasn't awkward, just looked at her. She giggled back.
I did the same move from Friday. We shook hands and she held it very long. I just spinned her around, put her hand on my neck and she just left it here. Slid my hand on her back.
Then, learned that she had a boyfriend. WOW FCK! But they're still down for the flirting? I didn't know what to do.
I lost my positive mood when I learned that, like it would be harder to game them now. I got nervous. Went in for the cheek kiss but she pushed me energically. Though, she still offered to give her phone number.
Seemed like they both wanted to stay with us even though they apparently had to go. They invited us to go shopping with them, but then we told them we were heading the other way to go eat. Invited them to eat, but apparently they just ate lol.

She didn't text back... whatever, she had a boyfriend.

My next approaches pretty much sucked ass LOLOLOLOL.
Bumped in some girls from my high school. One of them is kinda hot, not bad. She was a little high, getting quite touchy with me and Porno.
We were getting a little bored chilling around, so I go :
Me : Let's ffff.....
Her : Huh?
Me : Mhmhmh I dunno what we should do... Let's....
Her : Fvck? I heard you say fffff...
Me : Ahhh noo... I meant blablalbal
Her : Oh really? Why not?
Me : I dunno.
Her : Awww okay.
LOL OH SH1T I didn't know what to say. It's weird because earlier she was giving us a speech about how we shouldn't be treating women bad and just using them for sex. The best part is that they really encourage us into doing pickup
BUT WOW I don't know why I stopped flirting. I just assumed it was because she was high. And because I knew her since I was like 13-14, I thought that it couldn't be true.

CONCLUSION
- Success barriers? OVERCOME THEM. There's no success or results you don't deserve. From all this time of hard work, you TOTALLY deserve it. YES she wanted to show you her tits and *****. YES she wanted to kiss you during the day. YES SHE WANTS THE D EVEN THOUGH SHE'S FCKING HOT AS HELL. You deserve it all damnit.
- Go super physical during the day. Just assume it man. Imagine it's the night... Go for the kiss anyway, it's fun.
- GAME AT SCHOOL. DO IT. Your reputation is on the line? Well guess what : A year or two from now, it won't even exist anymore. College is for a very short period of time, and you'll never experience it ever again. So make the best out of it.

 

[Mindgamez]

I don't know what to think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qycqF1CWcXg
Great flirting going on, but then my state went totally downhill. I felt so bad.
I don't know why I saw those past few days as SO negative. I was worrying about sh1t. But when I took a more objective point of view : I actually did quite fine, even quite good.
I read some book about depression. I did the survey and apparently I suffer from mild/moderate depression? I think that's quite ridiculous. I don't think so. I just get my jumps in moods all the time.

Anyway, I have no reason to feel depressed, yet I do somehow. I should be focusing on the good things, no the bad...
Let's look at what happened from an objective point of view.

Monday, April 8th
Day was ordinary. Nothing interesting really.

In video class, I caught that girl looking at me. The hot girl I already talked to before. For some reason we held eye contact for long but I didn't dare to give her a smile.
Just gotta talk to her next time... What's so hard! It doesn't matter. There's no need to be pessimistic about it.

Tuesday, April 9th
Very Interesting day.

That girl (let's call her Rocky) seemed interested in me. We chatted for a while, etc. Even though she ain't that pretty, it was fun to flirt. She's like almost 21, but it seemed like she didn't care about age.

At some point, she slapped my ass. It was funny. She showed me her bikini and told me how hot it would look like. She asked for my number, etc.

We went to the caf to eat with her and her friends. I was with Viggy too.
Her friend was HOT (let's call her HB Orange). She looked 8.5 with that see-through dress.
Flirting was totally on. I was sitting, her standing up. I hugged her my head resting on her boob. Viggy pointed that out and that's how it started. She sat with us.
I was getting closer, legs touching. I touched her hair too. I told them how I was a big perv, etc.
Me : I love girls with pink bras!
Friend peeks in Rocky's shirt. The bra happened to be pink LOL.
Me : Ohhh lol! I though your bra was pink, not hers!
Friend : No it's orange!
She peeked in her shirt to make sure.
Later on, I pulled out a banana out my bag. Orange told me to shove it in my mouth. I played around, we made some jokes. I approached the banana near her lips, she pulled out her tongue like she was liking it.
Me : Uuuaaggghhh! (literally moaned like a wild animal) that's too hot for me to handle...
Everyone at the table laughed.
Rocky : She has a boyfriend...
Orange : Yeah, but it's been only 3 days so yeah...
SHE WAS DOWN.
More and more flirting. I don't know how I managed to feel so confident and relaxed. Just writing about it right now, I realize how easy it actually was. It's just about not needing anything back. It's about not thinking about the close, about the date, but just thinking about enjoying whatever. And that's all I did. I expressed myself fully.
Sometimes they'd make gay jokes about me and Viggy. I swallowed my banana like a dirty *****, Orange and Rocky laughed their asses off.

Later on we left the table. Though forgot phone, so came back. Friends still at table.
Shuffle : Hey man, she was telling you you're gay. It means that you were so comfortable sexually around them that they couldn't believe it. That's good.
Me : Haha, you're right man.
Truth right here. I wasn't acting gay at all (except for banana), they were just testing me.

I came back to them. Orange was walking away fast to go to class.
Me : Hey! You forgot your hug!
She laughs and comes back.
I hug her, then I slide my head down to feel her right boob on my face. LOL
She pulls back and laughs. Our hug lingers a little bit longer.

I felt like a supreme boss for the rest of the day.
It's crazy how the day right before I felt like the biggest chode in the world. Then on tuesday, I feel on top. Then...

Wednesday, April 10th
Fun day.

At school, did one approach after a very long while spent *****ing out for like 10-20 minutes. She was very hot, but she thought that it was a dare and walked away. It didn't matter. I took action.

Then, I ate at the caf.
Rocky and Orange were there with all the guy friends around. I have NO idea how I managed to be so out of it. I was totally chody, needy, trying to fit in their conversation. It's funny because when I sat down, I didn't even notice Orange at first. I was just so caught up in my head...
When I talked, I felt that negative vibe in my body. I even tried not to look at Orange, how fcked up is this?

I think this is some MAJOR success barrier. She was definitely interested, but that's the reason why I started choding myself out. I was needy now that things were working out.

I flirted with that cute chick in my english class. I'll call her HB GM Bag (because she caries that bag).
I told her that I was a big perv. She laughed it off. She held very long eye contact with me. She also has a hot twin sister, just as cute.
I told her that I wanted to meet her sister. Blablabla, I asked her how much she cost, etc. It was quite playful.
I still don't know why I didn't get her number yet. She's cool. Not the hottest at all, but she just looks tiny and cute.

Talked to Montana and her friend Lauren. Very hot chicks. I'm their friends since they both have boyfriends.
I think I'll just call them by their real names. I mean, what are the chances that my friends will find me on the forum? Whatever. Made good friends with them.

Pretty much it.
Went home and shuffled like never before. I was so into it, very intense, stomping the ground like I wanted to drain all of my energy out of my body.

Thursday, April 11th
I don't know why I felt so bad about that day! Why do I need so much validation from girls. It's crazy.

Saw HB Nipplez at the Couch Place.
I knew I should make no excuses, so I walked in to talk to her. I was nervous again for some unknown reason. I tried the sexual jokes but she didn't bite. She told me I had to go because she was taking care of that handicapped guy. Excuse? I don't know, but it doesn't fcking matter.

Saw HB Zipper. This time, I felt like I couldn't get her, that she was out of my league, too hot. I don't know why. I started acting chody once again, backing off, like all the flirting lead to nowhere, like it was all an illusion of me being good with women.
That's literally how I was thinking. How destructive! WTF!!!
Yeah. She was with her friend Nick. I don't know if they're together or not, but she was giving him the lover look (or was it just me overthinking).

I don't realize that all I need is to push it JUST a little bit further, transition from flirting to getting REAL. That is why I started choding myself out when things felt right. Writing about it, I realize how illogical my emotions can be.
I will not trust my negative emotions. Why associate bad emotions with success? I can get success. It's part of me.

Later on, talked to Chelsea and met her friend, kinda cute. Chelsea ain't hot but she's very nice.

Gym class,
Did the most intense workout of my whole life. It's called the Insanity Workout, some kind of DVD.
We did it in class. Everytime I thought it was over, we were jumping in again, forcing it to the max again. When I thought I was out of energy, I just kept going. It really was a time when I felt like I was growing as a person. Learning to give myself no excuses and just go. Push it to the limit.
I had so much pleasure going through the pain. It's unexplainable. I want to feel this way anytime I have to overcome whatever obstacles in my life.
After I was done, I felt extremely relaxed, proud, good. I felt energized again.

Then later, I saw HB Mole. She slapped me in the face playfully, gave her a hug then her hand was stuck in my armpit. She left it here.
HB Mole : Why is my hand stuck here?
Me : Is that your pickup move?
Jenny and HB Mole both laughed. I kicked my knee into her butt. It was all funny. I was getting into a good mood after a lot of choding myself out. Then, I yelled some funny sh1t as I encountered a group of friends.
Orange looked at me and just looked away.

You know what? Maybe she's just shy. Or uninterested? It doesn't fcking matter.
Maybe it's not even because of me. Maybe I'm just overworrying about girls. Girls are just girls, they won't make my life any better. In the end, I make my life better and nothing else really does. Yes, circumstances and some things can give me some pleasure and fun, but it's ME who will make ME happy.

CONCLUSION
- Don't chode yourself out. She wanted you just for you. Why do you have to restrict yourself so much? Just express whatever you want to express.
- Biggest ups comes with the biggest downs. Probably I will skyrocket soon.

What's coming up next
NIGHTGAME TOMORROW. All-Ages party.
I will grind like a horny b1tch, then make-out with them. Then, slide her hand on my crotch. Let her feel it. Then, feel her *****. Then, I'll guide her fingers to unzip my pants. It'll be easy access without underwear on...
I know, I'm a big perv. I assume it.

 

[Mindgamez]

SUMMARY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIPdH7vLmgQ
Friday the 12th, I was practising my speech in front of the mirror. I want to do a self-development seminar at school.
For 30 minutes, I was talking about pickup material and self-growth, all to myself. I imagined that I was talking to an audience, even though I was just talking to myself the whole time. Though, it gave me SUCH a boost in confidence. I realized how awesome I was, how much effort I put in, how much knowledge I have.

I did some very good approach in the bus. It was great.
I was TOTALLY letting it out, no resistance at all. I realized that my teasing was much better and more intense, more confident. I felt like a different person, while actually I just felt like my real self. I was experimenting, being a little more ****y, and she played *****y back but it was funny.

Got her number, but flaked. We talked for like the whole ride + in the train, meaning like 30 minutes or so.

We hoped in the bus leading to the all-ages party. All we saw was 12 year old kids... so we said FCK IT and left the bus at the first stop. We walked back downtown, tried to go in some club but got carded. We still did some approaches downtown.

I think I did some pickup during the weekend, can't quite remember.

During the week, flirted with HB Mole more. I don't know why I'm not closing the deal... she was probably interested.
Sometimes she would hold my hand, tease me. She enjoyed the hugs too. She bought me a donut because she felt bad for hitting me in the face (playfully) LOL.

I did some approaches at school too. I don't remember.

Now, for the cool parts.

Friday, April 19th
Day was nice.
I started talking to that cute shy chick from my film class again.
My friend asked me when I'll bang that, telling me that I've been flirting with her for so long. True...

Anyway, the day ended with some approaches at the mall outside my town. I was with Olivier my Cambodian wing!
At first, I was pretty much out of it. It's funny how I always need that push, that little momentum building in order to be good. Then, I should realize that I should feel this way all of the time.

I remember that approach, the girl seemed quite interested right from the start. She laughed and leaned in towards me as I told her the compliment.
She was apparently in a rush, so I tell her that we should exchange numbers. How much time? 10 seconds lol!
She wants me to put my number in my phone, meaning she was genuinely interested. After 30 seconds we hug and bounce.
I texted her later that evening, she responded but stopped responding after I said : Too bad we had no time to flirt in person!

The next day, having no idea what to text, I just go in : Do you know how to cook?
LOL. Wtver, back to approaching.

I did a couple more. There was that one where I led the two girls to walk with me. Wanted to sit on the couch, but they didn't want to. I go in for the number, but she says no. Whatever.

Near the end, Olivier and me were having SO MUCH FUN! Like, he went into some random women's lingerie store and started complimenting random girls out loud. it was SO FUNNY and so cool of him. Even though he doesn't calibrate so well in the interaction, he definitely had crazy confidence and self-amusement which is fantastic.

I don't know why I had so much fun on that day. Even though it kinda sucked at the beginning, I started amusing myself so much near the end. I was totally into it at some point.
It felt so good. My anxiety was much lower at some point. Weirdly enough, when I'm in *state* I'm much calmer and low energy, and when I'm not in *state* I'm usually trying to go high energy and laughing more.
My tendency around girls is to be very chill, calm and unreactive when I'm feeling good. I'm not that hyper guy 24/7. Often, I come off as nervous when I'm hyper.

Saturday, April 20th
PARTY at HB Blondasian's house.
Right before, I took my time to do my hair and make myself look good. I felt confident. I looked myself in the mirror telling myself : Damn those are some sexy eyes they won't be able to resist! They'll probably love that tight shirt and that cool belt...

Tons of hot girls at the party.
At the beginning of the party, I felt comfortable talking to everyone without exception. I was in a very natural and calm state.
I felt like I was part of them, friends with everyone. Even though I would tend to label them as *cooler* than me, I knew that there was no reason why I'm not enough.
I didn't only think it, I felt it. I felt like I was friends with everyone.
Literally, at some point I was surprised to feel absolutely NO anxiety in my stomach. Everything felt right.

I remember that hot girl, Sara, kept bumping into me purposely. She wanted me to flirt back, as I did. I later wrapped my arm around her and looked at the mirror. Damn, I thought I looked so sexy.
Me : Hey, you see that guy in the mirror? Isn't he super hot? Oh yeah...
She giggled. Ahhh I should have gone for some more physicality.

You know what? Like 15 minutes later, that guy was already making out with her. Probably he didn't know her that much, but he simply decided to escalate so quickly and so confidently. They were totally making out.
Later? This guy is making out with another chick! This guy's a ****ing boss. How? He just is. He is physical with any girl there is. He doesn't care, he hugs her from behind, linger a bit, she doesn't let go. Because he's so centered.

That's when I lost my good mood, when he started making out with the chick I was going for. Now, I realized that I have to escalate much quickly next time, because the next guy might be going for her too.

Basically vibed with people a lot. It was all fun. When I was all pressuring myself to approach some girls I started feeling bad about myself, and then realized that a party was meant to be FUN. That's all, pure FUN. I don't go in there with the intention to hit on girls, solely with that in mind. NO! I want to enjoy myself and simply enjoy the present moment.
I really learned to do that. The word *learned* is kinda stupid though, because you don't need to learn to have fun. You just do.

 

[Mindgamez]

Anyway, the hot girls all got taken. The average looking guys were getting them, and I felt like I could totally do the same. I'm not caught from a different cloth.

Near the end, I sat next to that okay looking girl. Her face was weird but her body was very nice. I felt very comfortable, like I felt around my friends. I realized that it's that kind of feeling I have to get with girls... I usually don't feel that way. I always feel a little tense or nervous usually.

At the end of the party, hugged Sara after I kinda ignored her the whole night. I thought that I couldn't make out with her because some guy had her already. Bullsh1t! She made out with a second guy!
She held the hug very tight. I'm pretty sure I could have tried the make out and potentially have it, but I just pussied out.

When I was doing bad mind reading the whole night and thinking she wasn't interested? When I actually went in for the hug she was full of joy. Wtf! That's how ****ed up my mind is.
It's funny because as I progress in pickup, I think that I can read minds better, but actually when I feel certainty about a girl not liking me it makes my game even worse.
She was looking for me to go talk to her... but I didn't give her the fcking chance. That's what I thought.

Guess what? Better be dilusionally confident than unconfident! Funny how it works. Always expect the best. All girls want the D.

What I REALLY liked the most about this night, is that I could analyse it from an objective point of view and feel like a boss about it.
So YEAH,
- Escalate MUCH MORE QUICKLY, PHYSICALLY, ETC.
- Feel that very positive friendly vibe with everyone
- JUST WANTING FUN, since that's what parties are ultimately for. That's it.
- Once the girl is interested, I have to push it further and not linger around doing nothing and waiting. I have to constantly progress things further and not stall.
- Understand that you're not caught from a different cloth, that you can succeed as much as every *cool* guy. *cool* guys are simply the guys that are the most normal, not try-hard and just plain NORMAL and HAVING FUN. That's all!

Monday, April 22nd
Very interesting.

Porno wanted to approach at school. I was SOOO OUT OF *STATE* HOLY SH1T!
It was ridiculous. So much negative thoughts running through my mind at that moment. I don't know why, but at school I feel like the world is on my shoulders, like my reputation matter.
GUESS WHAT? WHO GIVES A SH1T. I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. I JUST HAVE TO ****ING LET GO.

First *approach*, Porno opened and then I came in. Surprisingly, all those negative feelings almost flew always instantly. I was feeling good again, feeling that outgoing self again.

Right after, I approach some gorgeous girl walking towards the stairs. I was totally attracted, asked her to be my valentine. I should have pushed it further!

Then, I pussied the hell out when I saw that girl from my bus.
I remember. I didn't know her at all, but I smiled at her when I was in the bus the week before. She was pretty hot.
She looked at me, I looked back. I didn't dare go up and talk to her, omfg. OMFG WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY.

Yes, window of opportunity. Gotta take it once it's open. I never know what that opportunity will give me.

Yes Porno, you're totally right. I'm glad I have you as my friend.

Later on, I approached that hot ass girl. Yes, she was probably an 8 or 9. Though, her mature sounding voice kinda caught me off-guard. She sounded like a mother hahaha. I ejected from *****ness, but still talked to her.
I dunno why, I felt like I had no chance with her. That's bullsh1t in my head.

VIDEOCLASS!
Fckin love that class. I bought a glidecam, fantastic camera stabilizer for the price.
Filmed music video for the song Quantum Flux by Northlane.

I was so preoccupied by filming. HB Blondasian is still interested, I can feel it.
The flirting is still on. I think I'm still interested in her. I felt something new : I felt comfortable with my abilities that I didn't even try to do anything. I was just immersed in filmmaking, passionated about it. I didn't give a sh1t about anything else. I realized that there's so much more than ****ing pickup in life. The game means nothing compared to what the world has to offer. I love art, I love expression my creativity through my imagination. Pickup is like art after all, an expression of the self. Life is art.

I knew she was attracted to me and felt no need to do anything about it. I feel like I should feel this way around EVERY FCKING GIRL. That's how I got to make-out with her and feel her boobs earlier on. Because I feel like she's totally down.

She told me that I was ***. When I ate my poutine and some cheese was hanging from my mouth she said it was verry hot (wtf? lol). Basically she finds me hot. I rubbed my crotch in front of her and she laughed. I was horny. She slaps my ass, I do the same.

I was literally thinking about ****ing her in my car! I was down for it, but then realized that my other friend had the same lift and I couldn't do that. Also, her mom was waiting for her at the mall.

Talked to coolkid on facebook later on.
Then, realized that even though she ain't the hottest girl out there, I CAN STILL ****ING **** HER DAMNIT. FOR THE REFERENCE! Once I **** her I'll get a supreme boost in confidence, that's great. First time doesn't need to be 100% fun. It can be 70%, and it's still better than 0%.

FCK THIS. IMMA **** HER. ENOUGH OF THAT SH1T. I'MMA **** GIRLS.

CONCLUSION
- GET THE REFERENCE. 60% FUN IS BETTER THAN 0% FUN. JUST DO IT.
- Assume like she's into you already and that you don't need to do any effort to win her. Just feel like you deserve the best.
- Approach at school and TOTALLY LET GO OF YOUR EGO. Just LET GO. It doesn't fcking matter if you've approached a girl and all of her friends. It's funny, it's fun and giggles. Totally let go of the outcome okay? LET GO.
- Window of opportunity. Once it opens, it's only for a very short amount of time. If you don't take the chance, it's done forever. Maybe she was your future girlfriend you'd **** every night.

 

[Mindgamez]

Tuesday, April 23rd
Quite interesting. Chilled with HB Mole around the school.

It was quite nice. I was physically teasing her, she did the same. Sometimes she would hold my hand playfully. I could sense that she was interested. We went outside, talked to each other. I realized that she wasn't making that much eye contact as we were walking, meaning that maybe she was getting a little shy? That's what I thought.

I just assumed that she was attracted. I didn't try or anything and everything felt normal.

We sat outside and some friend joined in, did my usual sexual jokes. Sometimes, she'd just assume that I was a perv which was hilarious.
Her : Yeah, I'm riding the car later.
*me smiling at her in a funny way*
Her : Oh Mindgamez! Tsssk...
Me : What?! I didn't make any sexual joke! You're the dirty one.
And it went on like that the whole time... she's quite funny.

We went back inside. She was spending too much time with that school advisor. Told her to leave him, but she stayed, and some hot chick and her friend (which I knew) asked me to be in their video shirtless. I don't know how but when I looked at the girl, I was immediately horny and it probably showed. She had the sexy eyes (or was it just me?)
Her : Hey, you should be shirtless in my video
Me : Yeah, but I have hairy nipples... *shows* nipples*
They laugh their asses off.
Me : Oh yeah, you need some handsome man in your video, like me
Her : Yeah
Me : Handsome like you.
Blablabla, I follow them. I ask her if she has a boyfriend, and she does. Wtver, I don't do the video cauz they take too long to setup. I go back to where HB Mole was at and she was gone LOL.

I call her, see her near her locker. She looked kinda mad.
Me : Hey, sorry for ditching you I blablalbla
Her : Ohh that's not cool, you're an *******! You just forgot about me!
She looked a little disappointed lol. Whatever, I follow her to her class.

I was needy at this point... I was massaging her, but she kept telling me to get off (she usually does anyway...). She's so confusing. Sometimes she slaps me and then holds my hand... like wtf lol.

Wtver.

Wednesday, April 24th
AWESOME HUG DAY. I had a t-shirt saying free hugs and I was hugging everyone.

Before I did, I went to the Couch Place and ate. I saw Orange, talked to her a little. I don't even flirt with her anymore, even though she's like one of the hottest chicks I talk to at the moment, in my opinion.

HUG TIME.
I realized something. When you go in full intent and just assume the hug, it happens. No matter who's the person, a big douchebag-looking guy or a hotass chick or an old lady.
When I was doing it for giving myself validation or making myself feel good, it didn't work! Which is quite interesting. I had to have the idea of giving love, and it almost always worked when I was into it.
Sometimes, the girl would hug real tight and I'd just hold on to it, then slowly let her go. I don't know why I pussied out so much from moving things forward from here...

After a good hug, I asked the girl's name then said mine. DAMN why did I let her go... wow...
2 seconds later, I get another tight hug and she then starts talking to me. She wasn't the hottest, so wtver haha.

It was a cool day. Sometimes, I'd feel quite awkward about the hugs, but I just kept doing it. Funny how my confidence always goes up and down. Hopefully it'll calm itself down.

Thursday, April 25th
Wow, I don't know what I had that day, but I felt incredibly amazing.
I just felt at ease in the world. I felt like I understood my emotions now. Everything was clear. When I was feeling a bad emotion, I knew that all I had to do was to watch in from an objective point of view and don't resist it.
And that's beautiful to do.

I just walked around the school so happy, worked out happily too. I was feeling great, confident.

Afterwards, I go to my locker. I see HB Blondasian with Ass. He leaves and we then hug, talk.
I was feeling calm, not really anxious. I knew that she liked me, so I didn't force anything.
We walked around for fun.
Her : So... how's your love life? *smile*
Me : My love life? Mhmhmh...
She giggles of nervousness. I see her face turning red. Good sign!
Me : I don't know really! I'm not looking for anything serious really, but... I don't know...
That's genuinely how I felt. I don't lie. I just want to fck her, maybe even fck her at school. Problem is that I feel ***** about escalating things at school. In my car, that'd be great...

We sit down. She plays with the rotating chair, rubbing her legs against mine. I remember touching her tits subtly hahaha.
Me : I feel horny.
Her : Yeah, you always do...
Blablabla. Man, I gotta isolate her in some classroom and just fck her, omfg.

We go outside, have fun on her longboard. The way I was touching her and the way we were hanging out felt like a couple on a casual date...
Her : Hey, you should bring your penny board next time.
Me : Yeah, we'll longboard around the village, that'd be cool.

So yeah, next Monday have a little fun with her. That'd be just plain fun, why the hell not.

Friday, April 26th
Fun stuff!

Shy girl from film class? Whatever, she doesn't seem interested.

During break, some organization was taking pictures for drug/alcohol awareness. The girl in charge was into self-development and sh1t! I high-fived her. She knew about Eckhart Tole, how badass! Another high five. She was probably a milf so lol.

After english class, I wait around. I meet with that guy Nick, Zipper's boyfriend. He's pretty cool, very relaxed guy. He doesn't even seem that happy or energetic at all, which is funny because it seems like girls like that about him. Why? Because he's just himself, congruent with his moods. It's quite interesting.
Very low energy type of guy.

Ohhhh, that girl Samantha is so hot. I was with Porno and Samantha's friend. I was teasing her and everything. She was filming me, so I go to the camera and be like : Hey, that's the beginning of my sex tape...
Then I take the phone LOL.
But yeah, she was singing Big booty *****es for some reason, so then I sing along and do the ass slapping motion.
Me : Oh yeah, wanna slap my ass? (though it'd be funny to put it in big)
She was sitting, so I shook my ass in front of her face. She smacked it gently LOL. Porno went in : Ohhh XD
I smiled simply, I knew that having a big reaction would have been chody.

I give her some tight hug again.
Me : Oh yeah, that's the beginning of some porn scene...
Her : Ahhh yeah, more like rape hahaha!
Me : Rape lool
Blablabla, I grab her and spin her around. It's fun.

I ask her if she's still with her boyfriend.
Her : Yeah, for way too long! Just kidding, like 6 months.
For way too long? Mhmhmhmh...

Damn she's so hot... Too bad she has a boyfriend, I don't know what to do about that. But I'm totally down to fck her.

Later on, went to breakdance club. Introduced myself to that new girl. She's average looking, kinda cute. I was feeling natural, she was mirroring my body movements (overanalysing I know).
Whatever, she ain't hot.

CONCLUSION
- Damn, flirt with the girl. Assume attraction. Be a baws.
- Just feel happy no matter what. Understand that you can understand your emotions by simply taking an objective point of view. Just by doing so, you slowly eliminate the immediate reactions of the emotional brain. Use your objective rational brain.
- Fckin let her spank dat ass.
- Close the deal... that's my BIG problem. I don't fckin close the deal. I'm good at the initial building attraction and flirting, but I don't move past that point! I have to get past this.

WHAT'S COMING UP NEXT.
Tomorrow is All-Ages party. NIGHTGAME *****ES. I want to finger a girl that night, make out with some chicks and escalate physically. No excuses! I have to stay with the set a little longer, go very physical from the very start and BOOM. Damn I fcking love it.

Right before that, I'm going to do some SOLO DAYGAME. Yes, it's been a long while since my last solo gaming. It's going to be a lot of fun. I have to go to the mall give in some CVs anyway.

By the way, 28 days NoFap! Had 3 wet dreams the past 2 weeks, crazy...

 

[Mindgamez]

Saturday, April 27th
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEJuQuCGfUA

Mhmhmhmh... a little disappointed, but feeling good about going into the real nightlife for the first time.

I didn't solo game as planned. I had some bullsh1t excuse that I didn't want to give my resumes for job applications, blablabla.

So yeah,
Met with Porno at mall. We took the bus. At metro station, I approached this set of two girls. One of them was quite hot, the boyfriend of the other girl encouraged me. They were very nice people, friendly. I was friendly back in return.

Though, I didn't escalate things further enough. Some random friend from school came, we chatted and I stopped talking to the girl for a while. Didn't even go for the number...

That's one of my big problems : Going for the number, going serious and following up for the date.
I have to get over this sticking point.

The night!
Went in line for the all-ages party. It sucked... because the line was LONG AS HELL. We ejected the line and talked to some hotass chicks across the street. 30 seconds later they left lool...

Me, Mirthless(joined afterwards) and Porno decided to go on St-Laurent and Crescent, streets of nightlife.
It was my FIRST time ever on some street nightgame situation. I felt kind of unfamiliar and chody in that environment, seeing everyone older than me, I felt tiny. In all-ages, everyone's at your age group of a little younger. But then, I realized that the truly hot women were out there at the real clubs.

You know what? When you read through my first pages of journal and see HB9, lower it to HB8. If you read HB8, it's an HB7. Holy **** the women out there, my standards were quite low...

I realized that getting women that hot is absolutely possible. The men out there were quite well dressed, I felt intimidated to approach mixed groups.
Still managed to do a couple approaches here and there.

I realized how the REAL nightgame was actually harder than daygame. Much harsher rejections, girls ignoring you, competition left and right. Often, those rejections would make my mood go down a little. Funny enough, going physical was almost harder at night. It doesn't make sense... it's all in my head.

Saw some girls from my college. I felt comfortable, I don't know why, because I had a reason to open.

I remember kissing that shy girl on the cheek. I went in for the make-out but backed off laughing a lot. Her face was red.
EDIT : Forgot about this part... The conversation went sexual even though they told us to back off. I think Porno the friend to show off her boobs, she said that we had to show our package first.
I started unzipping my pants. They thought it was totally fine. I really thought of wiping my **** out, but we were on some street (not so busy, but still). Anyway, LOL. Was that a sh1t test? What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? Show her the D? I wonder what their reaction would be. I'm a nasty bastard.

That other woman high-fived me saying : Horray for penis!
She was probably pretty drunk... I gave her a hug, kiss on the cheek. Tried the make-out but she backed off with her friends LOL.

I tried to go in some clubs, but got carded. I felt like a kid.

That's basically it.
In summary, felt quite chody the whole time. I had some glimpses of feeling awesome sometimes, but I was mostly feeling out of it the whole time.
Though, that first street nightgame was quite a cool experience. I remembered RSD videos, infield footage. Damn, nightlife is the LIFE. It simply motivated me to go out even more, date those hotass women.

Went back home very late, 3AM. Next day, saw this vid from Todd and could totally relate to it. It's when I'm in meditation mode that I do best!!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/IR1XtjEa460

CONCLUSION
- First nightgame, good or bad? Who cares, it's my first time so I won't be harsh on myself.
- I have to follow up for the phone number and the date! OMFG I have to get into the habit of doing so. With everyone in general. Acquaintances at school? Yes, text'em. Make friends of friends, deeper connections.
- Gotta go more physical during the night. My openers have to be more intense, clear in my intent. Meditation mode, all of my focus on her. Not 90%, but 100% on being present to the moment.

 

[Mindgamez]

Summary of past week
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iajUGfuifK0

To be honest, quite better than expected in terms of taking action. I went in for the date, which is what I usually NEVER do. That's great.
Though, I kinda lost HB Mole. Whatever, I'll let her chase me.

I decided to flirt with that cute girl in my english class. Finally did...
I was sitting to close proximity, legs touching. I played with her hair sometimes, she touched me back.

Me : Why aren't you reading the story? We have to, we're doing a presentation!
Her : Oh I can't focus, I'm too distracted by your beauty!
Me : Ohhhh... it's on...
Friends around laughed. Cool atmosphere. I could flirt back and forth and keep myself centered and calm. Though, it's when came the time to ask for the number that I started feeling a little nervous.

Then, I realized that I have to get past that fear of sealing the deal. FOR REAL. Playing around and beating around the bush, flirting around and stuff, is too easy. I've done it enough. I have to make **** happen.

So yeah. I text her that evening. She doesn't answer.
Instead, her overprotective boyfriend texts me to tell me to back off!!

The next day, I see her again. I smile at her and she looks confused, almost scared...
Me : Hey! I didn't know you had a boyfriend?
Her : Yeah I do
Me : Well, he texted me. Did you know that?
Her : What? Really?
Me : Yeah! Lemme show you...

As I was showing her the angry text, I was laughing. I felt bad for doing so because it meant I was making fun of him. I genuinely thought it was funny, but she probably felt very uncomfortable. Oops lol.
Her : But how did he get your number?
Me : I don't know. Woooooww...
Her friend smiled back at me. He probably thought it was funny too. She kept the same *I don't know what to do* look on her face.

I mean, how the fck is she supposed to react in that situation? LOL.

Saw Alexander from RSD at the free tour!
Damn the event was PACKED. There was even 3 girls at the tour.
He was talking about so many logistics concepts about nightgame. Probably forgot most of them...
He told us his stories of ****ing 6 girls 25 hours. Crazy funny stuff.
Realized how he's not a superhero but actually just a NORMAL guy. I shook his hand, and that the best part. Even though he didn't really answer my questions about daygame, simply talking to him made me realize how ordinary RSD people are. I was putting him on a pedestal, like I do with hot chicks. He's very cool, that's all.
Me : Yeah, because I can't nightgame I'm only 17!
Alex : Daygame is definitely the best way to go if you're 17! It's good that you start young *thumbs up*
A little boost right here just from seeing him in person. Also by seeing all those people at the free tour, I felt like I wasn't alone in all of this.

Friday,
You know the shy girl from my film class? I thought things could be going good. So during break in class, we walked around and chilled. I think I threw some flirting here and there, but nothing too risky. That's the thing : I wasn't pushing it enough!
Afterwards, we texted back and forth. She seemed happy to be texting me with her crazy emoticons.
Asked her about what she was doing tonight.
She told me she was watching the hockey game, blablablalba.
After 30 minutes of worrying, I finally push the call button. I was about to ask for the DATE.
She didn't answer, didn't have a voicemail either. I texted her that we should chill at the mall and get some ice cream.

No answer! Whatever...

Next,
I call HB Blondasian. She can't meetup at my place because she has to go for dinner with her parents. Blablablalba, excuses excuses. Can't tell if she's lying or not... I assumed she was lying and I felt bad about it.
Her : OHhh I can't. Maybe this summer. Oh, and invite Mike too!
Me : What? You want a threesome?
Her : Hahaha, yeah for sure...
She probably intended it to be sarcastic. Whatever, we say goodbyes.
My voice on the phone was particularly chill, felt unnaturally forced. Meh, I hate talking on the phone!

Porno and me ***** out from approaching hot girls from my college at some project exhibit event. They were all dressed up hot...

Saturday, I go out to give some resumes for job applications. Crazy how I actually felt nervous about it. I wanted to give the best first impression ever, really wanted the job. I didn't want to disturb the manager, the stores were busy.
Then, I realized how stupid freaking out was. If they don't take me for the job, it's THEIR loss. I'm just giving value by helping their company. Fck that sh1t. I should feel the same way around girls.

I walked around for nearly 45 minutes not doing anything. I skipped sets and sets. I was by myself, so it felt much harder.
I saw some hot girl by herself, walking really fast. I let her pass.
5 minutes later, I see her walking in the other direction, fast again. I KNEW I had to go. My heart was pumping like fcking CRAZY. I'm not used to approaching alone, but I knew I had to.
Me : Hey excuse me...huuh
I waited like 2 seconds, I have no idea why.
Her : I'm on a rush!
Me : Ohhh, okay...
Let her pass.

Too bad. At least the intention was there. At least I TRIED. I was by myself. Holy sh1t it feels like baby steps again.

Monday, May 6th
The day before, realized that I had to sh1t test girl more. I feel like I'm the one having to go through them. No! I'm the one screening. Thanks Todd.

Whatever. I walk around the school, feeling quite out of state. Very not in the mood!
But it doesn't matter. I meet with some friends and chat a bit. I ***** out from approaching that gorgeous girl sitting by herself. DAMN IT WAS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY! LIKE GOLDEN. Hotass chicks by herself like that, so rare at college. She was just chilling for like 30 minutes and all I did was stare at her.

Earlier that day, I was walking outside on campus and I saw Jonathan, guy I met on the random downtown. I thought his approach on pickup was VERY creepy and overtechnical at first, but he seemed more intelligent and friendly that day. He's not from my college, but he figured that he'd come here to do some gaming just for fun.
He's VERY consistent, does it by himself no matter what. He has discipline, and that's what I need. He has a big PASSION for pickup. He even brings a notepad with him to note his mistakes and everything, after every approach and every date. He inspired me to do more. I want to.

While HB Blondasian was flirting with Mike, I was starting to feel quite bad about it. Apparently they kissed while I wasn't watching. He met her parents already. Wow what?
Then, I started going in my head again. I felt like everything crumbled, like maybe it was over with her.
Even though she wasn't the hottest, I started to feel oneitis for her at this point. Like what the fck! Almost like how I felt with Laos. That same feeling of everything being lost.
I was thinking about how Mike was a bastard, how HB Blondasian was just a *****. I just kept saying that in my mind, and realized how crazy I was becoming.

Then, I reflected back on it.
I don't fcking need her. She's just a fcking girl. NOTHING ELSE. Woow holy sh1t.
At this point, I felt confident again.
Her : So you like tall girls?
Me : Yeah, I like tall girls they're hot. Sorry about that. (she's a little tiny)
Her : What?! Mhmmhm
She seemed a little surprised here. I was just playing around. I caught her looking at my crotch.
Me : HEY, what are you looking at? That's not a boner, just my pants folding up. That boner's not for you.
Bablalblal, giggles. I realized how I didn't fcking need her and I just had fun joking around.
I think she still likes me... It's quite unclear.

Went back to the mall. Mike suggested that we eat together and we did. I realized how really cool he is, how I had no reason to feel mad at him. I'LL LET HIM FLIRT DAMNIT! HE'S MY FRIEND! HE'S A BADASS.
Same for Blondasian. She's cool, why would she be a *****? She likes men, that's totally fine.

Took metro, wanted to go to concert but realized how late I was so I took the bus back to the mall...
Funny. I felt like I HAD to approach or I would have wasted all that time travelling.
I walked around for a couple minutes. The mall was DESERT!
Walked for a while. Saw some girl by herself. She was on the phone, so I skipped.
Kept walking for at least 20-30 minutes. Nothing... till I saw that set of 2 girls I skipped earlier.
Ahh man, set of two... pass. Ughhh...
I walk towards them
Damn man I can't do this. Ugh no excuses, agh!!
I walk away. Then realize how stupid I'd be for not doing it, and walk towards them again.
Oh sh1t I don't think I can...
Me : Hey excuse me!
3 seconds pause Holy sh1t what do I say?
Me : Uhhhh... will you be my valentine?
When I said that, I felt a little boost of confidence, like I was re-becoming myself again. My cool self.
Rejection, whatever. It was funny LOL.

I felt SO good after that one approach. It's funny because there was nothing special about it. I just felt good about me being able to take action on my own, not holding back.

CONCLUSION
- Make it a lifestyle. Everyday is pickup day. Everyday means bettering yourself as a person.
- I'll get inspired by Jonathan. He's EXTREMELY consistent. I'll remember him. He's actually 18, not different from us. He's just very persistent, very good discpline.
- I'll remember meeting Alexander from RSD. He's just a NORMAL guy. Nothing special about him.
- I have to follow up for the date. I have to push it a step further and have that deep identity level change.
- I have to hangout with girls at school, not just see them as mere approaches. I have to be around them so much that they become no big deal. That's the thing. I don't hangout with them! I just approach them and bounce. I don't exchange numbers. I don't do sh1t.

 

[AlexLefty]

Too much for me to read. But from the snipits that i I did i can tell you're becoming a boss dude. Good work.

Just remember, don't get too caught up in success. Kill your ego, so that you'll feel validated regardless of if a girl rejects or accepts you when you're flirting with her.

 

[Mindgamez]

Thanks for support Alex
Those past few days were quite interesting. I'll summarize it fast.

Summary of past week
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKyrULAfvq8
Basically, I spent the WHOLE time editing my video project. Quantum Flux by Northlane, awesome.
(If you wanna see the video, PM me. Blondasian's in it)

HB Blondasian would come sometimes to see me edit. I was too preoccupied, but she would still lay her head on my shoulder, touch me a little. Sometimes I'd slap her ass, do some sexual comments. She smiled when I did so.

That's basically it... Nothing really happened to be honest. I was working on project too much.

Basically,
Failed the 30 day challenge completely. I was too caught up with school and made excuses.
No worries. From tomorrow, I'm going ALL OUT. I got no excuses, like absolutely none.

Saturday, May 11th
Went out with Alexander, some guy I met at the free tour, for some daygame.
I felt VERY chody that day. I won't blame it on him, because it's all my fault. But yeah, he doesn't have the same vibe as Olivier or Porno. He doesn't like to be loud in public, do crazy sh1t, etc.

I did like 2-3 approaches? LOL. In what, 3-4 hours? Fail...

I don't know what I had this day.

But yeah. one of them was a set of two gorgeous gorgeous Europeans. One was a Ukrainian, like the hot ones we met at New York (Porno would've loved to meet them).
Flirting a little. After a couple seconds we hug. They seemed to get comfortable, but for some reason I pussied out and let them walk away.
Later that day, we see them again. We talk again more, I invite them go to shop with me but they refuse to. Oh well.

End of the day, we go to that gaming lounge and wait for Alexander's friends to come.
A guy and his girlfriend, and the guy's sister. She's pretty hot, nerdy and shy.
It was hard to communicate with her. She would not make any eye contact even though she seemed interested. We talked and talked, had to be very gentle with the flirting. She was adorable, I think I like shy girls now.
Her nervousness made me nervous too... Why the hell? I should feel confident when she's nervous damnit!

At some point I see Alexander sleeping.
Me : Hey, isn't he cute when he sleeps?
Her : Nooo...
Me : Well it's because I'm cuter
Her : No.
Me : Yes
Her : No.
She wasn't looking at me or smiling. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I was done.

So yeah. Just walked back to the metro all together.
Time to go. As I said goodbye, she actually looked at me now. She offers me a props shyly. I open my arms inviting for a hug.
Me : Come on... a props?
She throws herself at me. I was thinking of exchanging number but her brother, friends were here. I don't know why I pussied out man! They're nice people. What's the worst that could've happened?

Whatever.
I wait for the metro and I'm feeling so good inside. I don't know why. Like I know things will be right. They enter the train on the opposite side. I listen to the sound of the train travelling away, like it was a past memory flying away forever. I put on my iPod.
My train comes. I step in.
I see some cute girl by herself. I'm alone at this point. Solo approaching?
I hesitate for no longer than 2 seconds, but then jump and sit right next to her, no questions asked. I remove my headphones.

BAM! Opening direct b1tch.
The conversation felt nice. She was conversing back too. She enjoyed the compliment. She seemed a little awkward at first, but when we hoped off the train I started flirting a little bit, saying how she was following me. She's 20 by the way.
I hop in the next train. Then, she says hi to some random guy that looks 7 years older than me.
He joins the conversation. She describes me as being some random guy approaching her. The guy looks at me like I'm some alien, maybe was he worried about me? Lol.
For some reason, I felt very secure even though he was around. I could still contribute to the conversation. No flirting though and no number close, I felt a little intimidated.
It's good because my natural tendency would've been to bounce the fck off as the tall guy comes in! But I just stayed anyway.

As she leaves, she gives me a hug
Her : Alright nice meeting you, take care of yourself!
Me : Seeya. Hey wait, what's your number!! (exagerated desperate voice)
We laugh it off together and I let her leave. Mhmhmh, she was 20 but tiny, so fck I could've done something about it.

Sunday, May 12th
Band jam with Dumi and the friends. They're awesome people.

Monday, May 13th
Editing editing for video...
Blondasian touching me, laying head on my shoulder. I rub her crotch a bit, she let me do it with a smile.
Her : Hihi, stop it!

Showed the video to class. The teacher was in awe, showed it twice to the class.
Turned out I had 99% for this assignment! Yeahhhh...

Later on, I ask Blondasian what she doing on Tuesday evening.
As I said so, I felt a wave of anxiety run through my body. Big part of my calmness was gone in an instant... Ah I hate when this happens.
Her : Tuesday evening? Mhmhmh...
She hesitates for a long time.
Later on she tells me that she has training.
Me : What? Okay, what about... Thursday evening?
Her : Training too!
Me : Okay my last possible day is Saturday.
Her : I'm training Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday!
Me : Sunday?
Her : Sunday I work...
Me : Well are you retarded? Skip fcking training!
Her : No I can't!!

Sounds like bullsh1t to me. Yes, she does boxing and won many competitions and sh1t. She's pro, but still. That's retarded.

GUYS, What should I do about her?
To be honest I have no idea what to do. She sends me many signals showing me her interest, but she won't come to my place for some reason. Any tips or advice welcomed.

That night, I kept thinking about it. About how much time wasted investing in getting her. I felt like it was all for nothing, that she was gone.
Then I said fck it.
Burn the boats. I have to stop escaping ground zero. Stop trying to find cushions. I'm using ground zero as leverage.
It's DONE. DONE.
I have no need to feel any attachment towards her. Those kind of moments remind me of what happened with Laos in high school.

If Blondasian wants to chill with me, she'll be the one messaging or texting me. I've done enough chasing, I've been clear in my intentions enough. She knows I want to have sex with her (even though I didn't say it excplicitly).

Tuesday, May 14th
After class, feeling good.
Talk to the usual nerdy friends at college. They're funny, nice.
I was with Karim and Kevin later on. We wanted to do pickup at school but we pussied out so much. Zero approaching.

I met that cute girl near the Couch Place. She starts off poking me. We go into some playful fight. I felt like she was a little sister I could make fun of. She later held my hand up.
Me : Oh that was so romantic!
She smiled.

But yeah. For some reason I start *****ing out when they leave to go outside.
I just wait on the side with my cool dancer friend Danniel. I just let them leave as I'm exchanging numbers with him.

I walk around carelessly around the school. I have no idea why... I'm just looking for someone to talk to, just to socialize.

I decide to go take a walk outside. Nerdy friends are near the lake apparently.
I walk towards there. Damn it's so beautiful outside. The green grass of the summer, the sun shining on the trees leaving a bit of shadow for people to sit underneath.
I don't know why nature allows me to feel so present and peaceful. It's like looking at nature reconnects me to my core being (Eckhart Tole b1tches).

And then I see that girl again walking back to class. Wow, from close she actually looks uglier than I thought LOL.
Or was I making excuses? Yes. She looked a least decent, average.
Whatever. I just let her walk by like a moron.

I chill by the lake. The water is so calming and peaceful. I then walk back.

I take bus home. Stops at mall, I go in with buddies.
I make the excuse not to approach. WHY? BECAUSE I HAD NO FCKING EXCUSES. I literally had none.
After a little hesitation, I hoped in the bus. But still, that was gay.

Back home, I practised my self-development motivational speech while drinking my green tea.
I talked so much that my throat felt sore at the end. I gotta start making videos again, like RSD.

DOING THE CHALLENGE.
OFFICIALLY. I'll be doing the 30 day challenge starting TOMORROW.
If I fail it, I deserve a slap in the face. For real. If I even skip one day without approaching, I'm restarting it all over again until I do the challenge right.
AT LEAST 1 approach per day. I'll be doing more for sure, but for the worst case scenario, I'll do 1.
It's not the simple 30 challenge, just my own challenge.
If I skip ONE day, damnit you guys slap me in face. This means going out daygame every day? Holy sh1t, yes.
Of course not always. I'll have days to chill with friends. As I do so, I'll go talk to some girl while I'm with them, or on the way where we're meeting up. Working that day? Doesn't matter. I'll find a way after work to approach. Not even a day of staying at home doing nothing!
Solo approaching? ABSOLUTELY. NO EXCUSES.
OBJECTIVE : Get a date

CONCLUSION
- Go for the date. Ask her out. Don't wait. Take initiative.
- Though, I don't know what to do with Blondasian. Honestly. Tips? I think I'll just move on.
- I'm daydreaming and relaxing peacefully too much. I use it as an excuse not to do sh1t. I'm tired and have a headache when I talk to people? That's fine, that's because I'm a little anxious. Sitting on the grass won't overcome this. Yeah, relaxing is necessary but I need to do some sh1t too.
- Solo approaching is key. PERSISTENCE is key. CONSISTENCY is key.

 

[Mindgamez]

Did I progress? Definitely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t2OVAkL1Wo

DAY 1
Wednesday May 15th

Feeling quite out of it to be honest. It was a first day, so I won't be hard on myself.
It was quite unexpected that I'd run into Porno that day! But I did. I was about to go and give resumes everywhere for job application and maybe do 1-2 approaches solo meanwhile, but then Porno arrived.

I did a couple. Asked some girls to slap me in the face. Quite funny, nothing special at all. We stayed for like 1-2 hours I think.

DAY 2
Tuesday, May 16th

I go into film class. The cute shy girl is here this time. I mention about my invitation for the date. She told me that she didn't receive my text. It seemed playful as she was smiling the whole time, but I don't know. I just felt like it wasn't going to work. Truth is that I could have gone further...
At first she frowned, but then I kept my smile and she started smiling back. But when she told me she didn't receive anything I was like : Damn she probly lying, fck that...

And let her simply walk away of class. I don't even leave with her. I just let her go.

So after school, I chill around with Porno in the school. I manage to do 2 approaches at school!
How? I didn't even think about approaching. My only goal was to high five on the random. That's it! But then after the random high five, the girl actually stopped and I realized that I'd be stupid not to do anything about it.
Blablabla, compliment. She left for both approaches, but it doesn't matter.

Yewahh
We go downtown to do some DAYGAME. I'm with Porno, Olivier and Cake (That's how Porno called him. Stupid name... but wtver LOL)

Approaches approaches approaches. I'm feeling quite cool about it. When I'm with Porno, it's always easier to get into the mood. I was kind of relying on my friends.

I remember that one approach. Pretty epic, Porno's best approach in his life.
We ran across the street to talk to the 2 of em. I'd say 7s to 7.5s.
Quite chill, I was so present. We isolated the girls 1 on 1. We did a good job on that.
Later on, Porno isolates the girl a little further. I do the same with mine and go a couple meters away. I show her how to slow dance on the streets. She finds it funny. We hug, I go in for the cheek kiss. She complies.
Though after I failed my make-out attempt, I started feeling awkward again. From the corner of the eye I saw Porno's girl leaning in. I though she kissed him on the lips! So I was like damn, gotta make that sh1t happen.

Blablabla. I try and setup a future meetup. She tells me that she goes to Toronto for a week or so and that she won't be able to. I tell her that after is good. She says yes, but I sense a flake...
She didn't reply back lol.

Next approach was great compared to my chody approaches of day 1.
I even recorded it. The audio compared to my first approaches ever, DAMN! Like, it feels like it wasn't even me. It was some gay voice, chody high pitched up-talk voice. Holy sh1t. I was such a chode HAHAHAHAHA!
We see them entering a store, but Porno opens. He leads them into the store, we talk in the store for a couple minutes. Maybe 10-15 minutes.
Audio recording here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6dVbLiSfs0&feature=youtu.be

After recording stopped, we left the store. Tried to lead to some cool place but they didn't want to come. Whatever.

I did a couple more approaches. They were okay. Then, ate and slept. The next recording is right after a little nap and feeling quite tired loool.

Remainded of the day was quite alright. Left home with Cake.

DAY 3
Friday, May 18th
Fantastic.

It's funny because the day started off horribly LOL. I was by myself, didn't muster up the courage to approach solo.
Waited for Cake. He came, then we started approaching. VERY slowly... like an approach every 30 mins 1 hour? Damn. At some point we stopped to get coffee, thinking that it would give us more energy. It actually did for me, but yeah.

OH SH1T. There was actually an event at the Arts Place (let's just call it like that) today. There were a lot of people. We walked around. During the day, no sh1t really happened. But during the evening around 7-8, it started to get really crowded.
I realized that I HAD to minimize time between interactions.
I high fived some random girl. Boom. Talking talking.
Literally 10-20 seconds after, another approach.
After that, another one.

I realized that I had to make no excuses and just do it do it! I built momentum.
We walked back to the mall. Did a couple there.
I reapproached a set of two stunners (In my opinion, fckin hot). Latinas.
They seemed attracted. I was so natural it wasn't even funny.
I was hugging them, talking sexually. I admitted that I had a small penis (as a JOKE because I DON'T b1tches) and they cracked up.
I pushed for the number and said that we'll go on a date. She said no because I was a little chody needy at this part. Realized that I HAVE to get used to go for the date. I usually never do. I don't pull the fckn trigger.

Cake had to leave!

 

[Mindgamez]

But at this point, made a great decision.
Decided to go back to the event by myself. Approach ALONE. Solo, yes. I knew it was the right thing to do. I was feeling so good.
As I was walking back outside, I felt so at ease. It was almost scary. It was my true introverted side coming through. I could just walk around the streets happy, smiling for no reason, in the now.
I gave a call to Porno and told him how he was missing out today. He made lame excuses not to come today because he woke up at 3PM, but whatever it's his problem. Sucks for him though...

I walked to the event. Tried to look around for some sets to approach. Some people were dancing, so I randomly joined the circle and fist pumped the air. Walked around, saw the two girls I approached earlier.
Their names were Val and Marie. Cute little girl Val. She invited me to join and chill with them.
Val : When I told her earlier today that we were about to eat, why didn't you invite us somewhere? Mhm?
Me : Haha, It's because we ate already.

Realized that they were with two guys, but I wasn't fazed by it. As I talked to the girls, they started looking a little chody. Later realized that they are pretty cool guys!
I number closed her early and told her that we would go eat some asian food sometimes. She agreed but with some kind of fake smile. It didn't matter.

Chilled around the place. I was leading a lot and they simply followed me. I was used to leading and them not complying before, but I just assumed it would work.

Guess who was here? HB BIG BOOBS! They texted her to come, pure coincidence. But damn HB bib boobs ain't that pretty at all to be honest. B1tchy personality I don't quite enjoy. I don't know what kind of taste I had back in the day. I was too superficial, based on looks too much.

Her : So you're just here by yourself?
Me : Yeah. My friend left, but it wasn't an excuse not to go.

When I said that, I realized how awesome I am. I can make friends on the spot now. It's fun and games.
I went a little sexual with the flirting. Val enjoyed it. She was touching me a lot. I was leading her from place to place. I was doing the crazy sh1t I loved to do, danced with random people midway, they thought I was amazing.
I just assumed she would love me just for me. And it seemed like she did.
But OH SH11t! This is what caught me off guard. Marie, Val's friend, is actually her GIRLFRIEND. They're lesbians (I'd say Bi). I didn't believe it at first and just assumed it as test. But she had a totally serious face, then they made out in front of me and I was like (WOW wtf?!)
I really didn't know what to do at this point. Then I told myself like NO! I'm a baws, hold my frame no matter what.
And I tried to. But as the evening passed, Val started to test me, pushing me around and stuff, telling me to go away. I lost my cool a little bit. I literally ditched them I have no idea why. I walked around and tried to find some girls to approach. After 5-10 minutes of wtf loafing, I see Marie again. Hugs, we talk.
Marie : Oh where were you at? We were looking for you guys.
I just keep flirting a little bit with Val anyway. She's bi and probably liked me, but I was acting a little chody at this point.

Didn't matter. Later realized that there's plenty of fishes in the sea. She ain't the hottest, probably she's a 7 or 7.5. I danced to the music like there was no tomorrow. I could die happy at this moment, I wouldn't care. The lights were nice, the night breeze was soothing, and my body was just enjoying the beat.

Close to the end, we exchange phone numbers. I also do with one of the two guys.
I started worrying at this point that maybe they didn't like me. Because I was hitting on Marie's girlfriend, she probably is mad at me? I don't know. They were together for a year and a half now. But Val she's fckn BI. Omfg!
Maybe if I flirted with both of them more they'd be cool with that? Marie seemed to be Bi too. I flirted a little, talked about boobs and stuff and she responded to it.

I don't know. In my head I was thinking : Girls and temporary truths... maybe she loved me 10 minutes ago but hates me now?
Then realized how theory could actually fck me over. I had to CHILL the fck down.

Marie ; Yeah we going to my place blablabla.
Me : Oh nice. Doing some fun times, not inviting me? Mhm
Val : Yeah, you could come if you want.
THEY WERE INVITING ME AT THEIR PLACE. WAS I FCKN STUPID? I DIDN'T GO.

Val : You're done with school?
Me : Yeah
Val : Oh nice! Me too!
It's like she was waiting for me to setup the date. But Marie was watching us. I b1tched out from taking action.

AND I DON'T FCKN REALIZE. I could've flirted with both and got a threesome? YES.
WTF is wrong with me LOL. Like fckn success barrier right here. Too much success for my virginity to handle HAHAHA!
Anyway. Pcikup is paradoxical. I could've made sh1t happen at this point, but stayed with the two guys and HB big boobs instead of taking the metro with them. I'm so stupid, WTF. It was Marie's place. I had no excuses WTF.

Anyway. Lesson learned. As Ozzie and Todd said, the game is full of mistakes and it's all fcked up. I have to deal with it!

Girls didn't respond to my texts yet... Weird, but I'll call Val tonight. Telling her that it won't be anything serious, that's it's just fun times. Doesn't being bi means having more options?

Came back home feeling like a boss.
On the way back, approached some random hottie. I just asked for directions, but I assumed she was my friend already and we talked with the vibe of *I've known her since forever*. When I approach with that vibe, I just feel so enlightened. Like everything is so easy and girls simply chase you!

CONCLUSION
- Going out SOLO is the best thing to do in order to learn. You learn to cultivate that introverted side of yourself. You learn to have fun no matter what. You learn to explore by yourself, to be independent of the outside world.
- Assume the best. The game is paradoxical. Just assume it's going to work, because there's no reason why you're not enough. You know EVERYTHING you have to do. You know so much material already. Just go out and do it. DO IT. You have all you need to succeed.
- I have to push it to the date. I have to follow up to the date with those numbers.

 

[Blistex]

Marie ; Yeah we going to my place blablabla.
Me : Oh nice. Doing some fun times, not inviting me? Mhm
Val : Yeah, you could come if you want.
THEY WERE INVITING ME AT THEIR PLACE. WAS I FCKN STUPID? I DIDN'T GO

Missed opportunity but there will be more of them in the future as you progress!

 

[Mindgamez]

Thanks for support man! Didn't happen, but still.

DAY 4
Saturday, May 18th
Whoa!... To be honest, I wasn't expecting to hit a low that low.

But I have to realize that every experience I'm going through is necessary. I'm getting SO CLOSE to getting it sometimes and all I need is JUST one little tweak for things to work out. I'll just keep pushing until I get it. I truly believe that if I go out and make sh1t happen every day, I'll eventually change myself on a deep level.

Guess what? The 30 day challenge, I could switch it up to the summer challenge. To the 100 days challenge. Why the fck not? Of course I can approach everyday. Even one approach is good.
I'm doing 5 approaches a day at least for those 30 days, but that's still pretty good. And that's fine if I get some *bad* days.

Great thing though is that I woke up at 7:30AM and had plenty of time to write, to exercise, to eat. Even had time to practice piano.

So yeah,
Meetup with Sex_is_good today (it's been months!)
I realize how I don't connect as much with him anymore. I mean, I'm more of the loud type, high energy (even though I like going low energy sometimes). Everytime I was talking about pickup, he told me to shut up because he was worried that people would know about it.

Uggh... nonetheless, he's a good guy. It's not his fault if I wasn't good that day, it was entirely my fault. Same goes for ANY circumstances. It's not because I'm around this person or because I'm in that situation that I might not be good. It's ME that becomes no good.

Basically, we walked around a LOT. I did like 2-3 approaches during the 2h30 that I was with him. After a while, we decided to go shopping for some shirts, so yeah. It wasn't as intense for a pickup day and actually shopping at the mall made me relax. He's right when he says that it's kinda better like that. It removes the pressure off, doesn't focus ALL your life on ONLY pickup.

After he was gone, I KNEW I had to continue solo. It was 5:30, but all I did was like 2-3 approaches. They were lame anyway, I let them leave early. I had a weak voice, had awkward silences and wasn't leading the interaction.

Walked around for several minutes. I tried to find some girl alone. Just alone, that'd be easy I thought. I was totally out of it but I could at least do one more.
I walked down the street to the Arts Place. There was some other cultural event and plenty of people (not as much as on day 3 though). Walked back up. How much time passed? Almost an hour, and NOTHING.

Really at this point, it wasn't only anxiety. It wasn't only pain. I started to feel sad like, holy sh1t I was spiralling down. I wasn't able to approach at ALL. My mind was going completely crazy.
I walked at the food court at the mall. Saw a set of two girls. There were many of them. I could have approached 10 of them in that hour probably!
I texted Olivier
Me : Damn solo is so hard omfg!
Him : You can do it man
As soon as I saw his words of encouragement, I imagined the good times of Porno, him and me together. Having so much fun, not even caring. I remembered his playful vibe, and I immediately snapped out of it, like I was finally enlightened. It didn't fcking MATTER.

I jumped out my seat and walked towards the two hot chicks. A big anxiety wave struck me right before and I thought of turning back.
But then BOOM. I KNEW I wouldn't allow myself to go home without approaching.
So I did. I talked quite fast, like back in the chody days. Holy crap! I said some dildo thing and felt a little uncomfortable and ejected when I should have never done so! They were receptive.

I approached some other girl. Ended up that she was 14 or 15, so I just left lol.

But DAMN I felt relieved after I did those approaches, like I could allow myself to call it a day.
Yes. EVERY day of the 30 day challenge has to be fruitful. It doesn't matter how long I have to persist, I'll do.

Going back,
I'm thinking of calling Val, girl from Day 3. Holy sh1et I was hesitating.
Then, I realized that the more I think the worse I'd be. So as soon as I got in the car, pressed the call button without questioning.
Ringing! She doesn't answer. I text her hello, she says hello back. I text her, asking her why she didn't give me the latin dance and she never responded LOL.

It's funny because I was so attached to getting her since I thought opportunities like these would be rare. How bullsh1t's that.
Whatever. I know EXACTLY where I ****ed up, and it was the evening before when I would let myself react to Marie and Val's test, leading to me not standing up and going home with them.

Saw Alex's vid on entitlement. So true. It's not about getting better, but realizing that you don't need to be that good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ctZ1PD0mI1o

CONCLUSION
- PERSIST till you fcking bleed. You're not allowed to leave home without approaching. It might sound a little military hardcore, but on some days you really have no choice... No worries, the fun days come. Sometimes, by pushing yourself you'll turn that bad day into a good one.
- DON'T THINK and just press the calling button. Get the reference of calling the girl, of going for the next step. You're good enough at approaching. Go a step further.
- Let go of the game and feel entitled. It's not about getting better, but realizing that you don't need to be that good in order to get girls. The game is filled with mistakes.

 

[Mindgamez]

Day 5
Before you read, please go check this short film (at least part at 8:15). Thought-provoking, beautifully made.
Think about it, relate it to life and moving on to the next step. Everything is temporary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQSFCGfnvFA

Basically, the day was quite better than expected.
After my khmer class, I decided to go downtown by myself to do some approaches. I was VERY hungry, cold (only had a little t-shirt), but made no excuses. I went nonetheless.

I walk in the metro, see some girl that dropped something by accident so I pick it up and give it to her.
She thanks me. I tell her that she's cute, we talk for a while. For some reason, I *****out at some point and tell her to have a nice day.
Since she wasn't english, I think she didn't understand LOL. She just stayed here, so I figured that she was interested. There was random silences, but she stayed. Apparently she was travelling by herself, staying for a month or so. I could have asked her out on a date or something! OMFG.
But yeah, she had to leave so yeah. I always eject so early.

Next challenge : DON'T EJECT THE FCKN SET NO MATTER HOW GOOD OR BAD IT GOES. Especially if she's hot. If she's ugly and just warmup set, meh. But yeah, she definitely was smoking.

I walked in the mall, and who do I see? Khoi and his friends! Khoi, some guy I met at an all-ages party a long time ago. It was like my 1st one or 2nd one I think. Guess what? They were actually out to do some PICKUP that day! What a coincidence! I attract people with the same interest as me by being 100% myself.

Met Khoi's friend, Juan, he's into simple pickup and RSD! Awesome.

I did a couple approaches. Nothing fantastic to be honest. Though, I thought that Emilio's naturalness was very interesting. He was so simple and straight to the point, interview mode but very chill and calm. I could sense his calmness from meters away. That's the exact vibe to have. No pressure on himself, like no big deal at all. He approached that girl, she later followed him to the bus stop. Earlier on, he got the number of a gorgeous gorgeous latina, totally effortlessly. She was very calm and unreactive, so was him.

Apart from that, we went to that cool Geek lounge where we could play videogames as big nerds. It was very cool.

They wanna do it again! Yes for sure, we will go out and approach a sh1t ton of girls next time. Got their numbers.

So I called Val tonight. She didn't answer. We texted a little back and forth. She wants me to chase her or something I feel like.
It took her fckn 1 DAY to text me back? Lol. And yeah, called her again and no answer so I left a funny voicemail. Telling her how she had to call me if she wanted me to give her a *latin dance*.
She thought it was funny, texted me back. Tried to setup for saturday evening through text, she told me that she couldn't so I bluntly told her : Ok, no latin dance for you.
Meaning that I was willing to walk away. She didn't respond back. What's the right thing to do?

Went back home.
Remember Laos? Lol, I don't know why I had this positive surge of emotions when she poked me on facebook. It's ridiculous, like that oneitis was coming back at me.
But hey, I could actually try and setup something for the both of us. It's been fcking a whole year without contacting each other. At all. Why not ask for her number and give her a call?

CONCLUSION
- Fcking cold? Hungry? ALONE? Just fcking go out. You have no excuses, come on. If I would've gotten home, I would've missed a great evening with the guys.
- Everything is temporary. Learn from the sh1t and grow from it. You won't get the girl 100% of the time.
- Get used to calling the girl and setting up dates. Make the move, persist, go for the kill. Get USED to doing it. You're so fcking close to the goal, don't pull back.
- CONSISTENCY. Go out EVERY single day.

 

[Mindgamez]

DAY 6
PROGRESS TADADADAM!
Today I was with Emilio, Juan, Khoi, Oscar (Khoi's friend), Porno and some other dude. Planned on going
Explosions in the Sky - Let Me Back In - YouTube

It's weird. Even though I wasn't feeling perfect, sometimes even negative during interactions, I still persisted.

I had weird sets that didn't go well, immediate rejections, and sometimes the girls wanted to leave as soon as I opened. BUT my goal was to make the set last as LONG as possible.

What I achieved by doing this? I kept talking and talking, and the girl seemed a little more interested to keep talking to me. That's what I did to a set of two asian girls. The friend started to get more interested because I kept talking even though she said : Ok well hum...
I cut her off, ignoring what she said by continuing on with : Oh yeah, and in Cambodia we cut dogs to eat them! (joke)
It's funny because I did the over-exaggeration thing Kong was talking about, and he was absolutely right. Girls play back with that kind of playfulness.

There was this one cute asian girl walking by herself. I want to approach but hesitate.
Porno : Hey man GO APPROACH HER. She's waiting for some guy to stick up a D up her ass!
Me : Yeaah you're right, uggh fcckk...
So yeah, I go in. Khoi kinda followed me around awkwardly... I wasn't expecting him to join in LOL. Anyway, I still welcomed him in the conversation like he was a good friend of mine. It didn't matter if he didn't talk at all, or almost.
AUDIO RECORDING HERE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUBUE2aR_rg

You know what? She agreed on the date. I wasn't quite sure if she would flake, but it seemed like she trusted me. She handed me her phone and I held it for like almost 5 minutes and she didn't care lol. And I was a complete stranger to her.

So later on I message her on facebook. I ask her about her taste in music, but then I don't want to game her by facebook so I just setup the date directly. She confirmed yes. What does that mean?
FIRST DATE FROM DAYGAME COLD APPROACH B1TCHES. Only in 6 days? Yeah. 30 days will be same day lay or something haha.

Later on, continued approaching but was kind of out of state the whole time. It didn't matter. You know what? For that asian girl I got the date with, I wasn't even feeling at my best. I was kinda nervous and feeling a little negative at times. It didn't matter, I just allowed myself to have fun and just assumed that I could get the date 100%.

I approached another group of 2 asian girls. Damn I love those asian girls, I feel more confident around them I don't know why.
So yeah. I go in playfully, I say random sh1t and they love it and laugh their asses off.
Later on, Juan and Oscar come in to ****block me LOL. Kinda funny but yeah.
I leave the set. But later on, realized that I forgot my bag at their table! So I run back.
I see them again, welcome her for a hug while staying unreactive. She giggles endlessly. I go in for the hug but she doesn't want to. I ask her out on a date, asking her what she's doing on Wednesday. Can't so I ask for Thursday. She can't either, so I figured that I'll bounce. I could have persisted? Maybe...

Walking around walking around. Trying to approach but *****ing out for some reason...
I realized that my approach anxiety for the initial approach is pretty much the same, but once I'm in the set I feel more comfortable than back in the day, which is great.

CONCLUSION
- Push it, talk for as LONG as you can! You'll train your mind to have things to say and self-generate conversation out of nothing. It doesn't matter if she ain't the hottest chick ever, just train yourself to talk for longer!
- Establish the date the day you meet her. Make sure about logistics and that things are fine for you guys to meet up.
- YES. You can get dates with random girls you've just met. Even though she's asian and shy.
- CONSISTENCY PAYS OFF. After 6 days in a row, got my first date ever from cold approaching. Believe me guys, do it consistently. 6 days in a row is better than 10 days spread apart.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Apply to be a moderator of this forum. Your continued effort is fantastic.

Your effort has been consistent for months since I called your journal the best on the forum.

 

[Mindgamez]

Learning, I sincerely love you man. I've always had your support since the very very start. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
About being a moderator, I sadly don't have time for that!...

Progress? Definitely. Amazing? I don't know, but I got the reference point. I KNOW I can date girls from cold approach now, that I can make a deep connection with them.

DAY 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6UyBV_rwUk

Right before the date, Porno and me do some approaches at the Arts Place downtown.

I was quite out of it, but it didn't really matter. What was interesting is even though they didn't go so well, I didn't care about the outcome at all. Even though I was out of state!

Anyway. Time for meeting up with her comes. I'm feeling a little nervous... Actually quite a lot for some reason.
When I see her, I go in for the hug. We walk towards the metro.

At first I'm feeling a little awkward and uncomfortable, but I just keep the conversation going and going. I don't know why I get nervous when she gives me eye contact. Maybe she was too? She wasn't looking at me that often as we walked.

As the evening went on, I allowed myself to say more and more obnoxious things, to free myself and to say whatever sh1t was on my mind.
Guess what? She absolutely loved it. She laughed at everything I said, to the most boring jokes without ANY sense at all.
Me : Oh orange bag? Yeah Orange power, I'm the god orange! I kill oranges!
Wtf does that mean?
Me : Hey hello kitty! Take care of that bag like it's your kitty. Careful, it bites.
At times, I decided to wrap my arm around her. I was a little hesitant at first, but I did. She smiled when I did so. We had to stay close to each other since it was raining and I was holding the umbrella (like a gentleman!)
I brushed her boob or her ass by *accident* a couple times. I didn't mention any sexual jokes, because I figured that since she was asian and probably shy I had to tone it down. I was quite subtle, played it quite safe.

At the date location, when we were sitting in front of each other, I was getting a little awkward at times. I just talked about whatever came to my mind, tried not to force it too much. I couldn't really go physical, in a restaurant mhm. I realize that she's 20, lie and tell her I'm 19.
She : Ohhh wow! You looked older than me!

We went out, walked for a long while in the rain. I just kept the very playful talk. I didn't give a sh1t about what we talked about at this point. I didn't try to find the perfect thing. I just enjoyed her company, her very cute giggles, her lovely smell, her asian eyes, her joyfulness. She copied my funny hand motions as I said weird ass sh1t.
I wasn't even caring about game anymore. She was leaving for New York the next day, then to Japan where she lived. I knew she would leave me forever after that date and that I had to make the best out of it. Live in the present like I'd be forever. I just allowed myself to feel and share love. It was just me and her having fun.

She kept saying how funny I was.
Truth is that as long as you're having 100% fun and just letting yourself be, she'll find you funny for no reason. I'm not a fcking comedian, I'm just me! And girls love it.

When we arrived back to the Arts Place, she told me that she had to leave.
I go for the hug, give her a kiss in the cheek. She giggles. I go in for the lips but she pushes me back with the smile.
She : Ahhh I can't do that!... I... I have a boyfriend... *looks away guilty*
Me : Whaaatt?!?! For how long?
She : Like 3 months
Blablabla. Kinda dissapointed, but I push it a little further anyway, telling her how what happens at Montreal stays at Montreal. She laughed. I pushed it to try and go in her room, telling her how I wanted to show her youtube vids of me and how I had to go pee in some bathroom.
She refused! Even though she did, she just stood there like she was waiting for me to make some move or something.

She didn't want to leave, it was adorable.

I walked her back to her hotel. I hug her and let her linger in my arms a bit. People around us were watching so I was a little self-conscious.
Me : Hey, do you realize that this will be the only time I will ever see you? We will never ever see each other ever again.
She : Oh nooo! You could come to Japan!
Me : No, never. It's over, forever, right now.
As I said so, I felt my heart sink a little bit. She was adorable. I looked at her in the eyes.
Me : So kiss me.
I was a little nervous.
She : Noo, I can't do that! Sorry...
Me : That's alright, seeya!
I walked away. She waved at me with a big smile, saying : Thank you for everything!!!
I waved back. I walked back to the metro, proud of my achievements. I knew I could get hot girls from cold approach now. I knew I deserved the best, that the results were to come. And they came. And I will be getting more.

She was such a nice girl... It's not about the fcking sex, it's about sharing that good feeling inside, making that connection with that beautiful person, making the bond. Feeling like nothing else matters but the present moment. That's the beauty of meeting girls. It just feels so nice and peaceful.

When I walked away from her, I almost felt sad. I just felt like giving her a hug again.
Whatever. People come and go and that's how life goes.

Later, she posted on facebook how she met that really funny guy and ate some poutine at the local restaurant.

DAY 8
Day was... pretty alright.

Met that cool natural guy named Denis. He's been seriously in the game for a year now, got laid a couple times and is pretty good. More advanced than me that's for sure. I like his vibe, he seems in control when he talks to people and just chill.

We walked at the Old Port. Fcking NO girls our age, only old couples, families or older women. We still did some approaches, but only a few.

I took a couple puffs from a Cuban cigar. I should have never done it! Wow, now I have already smoked and I'm not a pure asian kid anymore... Whatever, 2-3 puffs won't kill me.

We went back downtown, did a few. Nothing special to talk about.

Went to some graduation event for arts students at some French cegep. I was SUCH a *****, feeling out of state. When I was talking to girls, I could feel myself sweating. It wasn't even funny.

My friend Karim was being kind of an *******, telling me how ***** I was and how I could not take action. I got into my head and went into negative thinking. He was telling me about his technical stuff and everything, it drove me totally nuts, almost angry. I now realize that that wasn't the right thing to do... It's not his fault, it's all mine. His way of being honest about his opinion, telling me how ***** I was acting is only his way of helping me take action. It didn't work, of course, but I should've never got mad at him. He's my friend and he wants to game with me again. He's a cool guy. I have to learn to fckin chillax no matter with who I am with!

Anyway. The remaining of the day was quite lame haha. My approaches were quite weak, but whatever.
Bad days are setbacks for comebacks. I'll be doing MUCH better tomorrow and after.

CONCLUSION
- Share love with girls. Allow yourself to fall for her, to fall for the present moment. Enjoy it till it still lasts. Imagine it's your last day with her, that you'll never ever see her beautiful eyes ever again. Who knows, you might die tomorrow. Make it last, make that connection. You'll realize that meeting girls should not be a chore. It's a cool experience you both enjoy.
- Don't get influenced by other people. Don't fall into their negative frame. Keep your own view on reality, on what's the right way of doing pickup.
- KEEP THE CONSISTENCY. Every fcking day. Bad days? Use it as an opportunity to do better the next day.

 

[Nino-Tk]

She was such a nice girl... It's not about the fcking sex, it's about sharing that good feeling inside, making that connection with that beautiful person, making the bond. Feeling like nothing else matters but the present moment. That's the beauty of meeting girls. It just feels so nice and peaceful.

.

This is exactly my sentiment, my friends sometimes look at me funny when I talk about sharing a connection with a girl, its something magical that I haven't been able to put into words to this day but I think you did justice to that feeling!

 

[Mindgamez]

Haha yeah man meeting girls is fun.

DAY 9
Progress? Definitely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J4Ye7nRT0s

The day started off slow. I woke up in the morning, feeling really tired and sick. Damn cold, headache... I'm still dealing with the headache as I'm writing. I didn't feel like going out today, but I gave myself no excuses. I realize that when I'm in a good mood, being sick doesn't even bother me. When I allow myself to fall into a bad mood, I get headaches easy.

I gamed a little with Denis, the guy I met with Kareem the other day. He's incredibly smooth, I love his style. He frequently gets numbers and dates from cold approaching, which is great.
I saw Porno approach and him, and I immediately noticed the difference : Denis is more relaxed, situational and smooth, while Porno is direct and high energy.

Anyway. I did a couple, Meh at first.
At one point, I started feeling a little depressed. I was wondering if I'd ever get laid any time soon or I'd have to keep on approaching and going through pain all the time. I kept walking around, not approaching.
Porno : Hey you see those two girls? Don't approach them.
They were very hot.
Porno : Hey! You girls are cute, blablalba.
I got into my head way too much.

Porno : Dude, you look depressed, what's happening man!
Me : I don't know, I just get some lows sometimes.
It's true. I don't know why I do feel like that sometimes.
Porno : Dude, control your emotions man.

Control your emotions.

When I heard that, I IMMEDIATELY snapped myself out of my initial bad mood. Was I crazy? Why was I in a fcking bad mood and so negative? Lol? Really? When I could simply enjoy myself and have fun?
Literally 5 seconds after he told me to control my emotions, I see a hottie walking by. BAM.

Me : Hey, are you a nerd?
Her : Haha, what are you talking about?
Me : You have glasses, of course you are.
Blablalblaba. She's on a big rush, so I get her number and her name. I typed in quick, I hope I typed in the right number...
We shake hands goodbye.

Like 20 minutes later, I walk around the food court near Montreal Trust (name of the mall) and I see some hot ass chick I want to approach. Mhmhm...
I look at her, she looks back and locks eye contact. I smirk a little.
Her : Hey Mindgamez!
Oh sh1t, it's that girl I approached earlier. I forgot her face? LOL.
Me : Oh hey Izi.
Blablabla, we talk for like 30 seconds. We hug like we've known each other for a while already. Porno thought it was some chick I knew already, from school or something. That's good. After like 20 seconds, I ask her about what she's doing on Monday. She can't.
Her : Hmmh what about... tuesday?
Me : Alright. When are you done on tuesday?
Her : At 2.
Me : Good, we'll meet at 2 o'clock at the mall
We exchange hugs.
Her : Alright goodbye, take care of yourself! And text me.

Another date? It better be.
I texted her : So are you a nerd?
But she didn't respond. I had no fcking idea what to talk about! We talked for like 1-2 minutes TOTAL. But she seemed totally down to meetup again.
This one's tricky. I don't know if I should have some conversation by text or simply wait for Tuesday to meetup. I think I'll just way for us to meetup in person (if she doesn't flake...)

So yeah. Right after this, I felt like a supreme boss. I could attract hot chicks (much hotter than Maya imo, girl I dated on Day 7) in a couple seconds and setup a date.

I just hope it doesn't flake. Hey wait, you know what? Fck this, I don't give a sh1t! I got the reference and that's good enough. I don't need the results right away. The results will come. I have complete faith in the process.

Process of becoming. Trust in the process.

So yeah. I did some pickup right after that and felt TOTALLY awesome. I trolled some younger looking girls, kinda pretty but meh. Later, approached a set of two hot blonde/brunette chicks. My opener was PERFECT, they loved it. Though, my conversation seemed to go nowhere as I was *running out of things to say*. I was just spitting out bullsh1t at this point, talking about the biggest nonsense ever and not getting to the point. They weren't engaging enough... Next time, I gotta get serious.

That's basically it.
LOL but yo I just thought about it. Her name is... Izi? Like EASY? Her actual name is Izida or something like she told me. Hope she's not trolling me inventing her name as being EASY. A joke like she would Easily give her number away LOL. Anyway. Her voicemail says her name so I guess it's not a joke. Anyway, funny name LOL. Hope she's EASY to fck.

CONCLUSION
- When you're caught in a downward spiral, realize something. You control your emotions. They do not control you, but you have control over them. You dictate your own reality.
- GO FOR THE DATE. Setup the date the same day. Don't wait to phone call her, it's more solid if you ask her in person (in my opinion). If you're doing pickup, it's ultimately to go on dates with hot chicks and potentially fck them.
- CONSISTENCY. EVERY, FCKING, DAY. I don't care if you're sick, at least do a couple. Usually, a good mood is enough to uplift you and remove that headache. My headaches are mainly caused by stress and feeling negative.