Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.

[Mindgamez]

Later, Fred's friend (some little cute girl, HB7) encourages me to go pick up some chicks after Fred told her that I'm apparently a boss.

I noticed my weakness. I'm good at opening, and that's why Fred though that I was such a boss, but I didn't go until closing the deal yet. I have to make real connections with people!

B1tches again!
Set of two pretty girls, HB8s, until they acted like b1tches.
I introduce myself like usual, though I was a bit out of state here. I was *****ing out, so I had to get my game back in place. Had to approach even though I was feeling bad!
They PHYSICALLY pushed me! I wasn't even threatening and I kept a distance.
I lost a bit of state here, but not that much. I kept a smile, a bit forced, but still.
Me : Haha... b1tch please! So you girls come here and don't even dance? What's the point?
Girl : We're waiting for a friend, blabla.
I just eject after that. I lost attraction and knew that it wasn't good.

So yeah. I kept approaching and approaching. A couple of *****ing out here and there, but I kept doing it. Rejections were getting my state lower, but I managed to go through them. I'm getting used to managing harsh rejections, because at parties like these, girls have their ***** shield WAY UP sometimes.
You remember that first All Ages party I went to? There was like 75% of guys, and I saw some guy grabbing some girl by force, like a sexual aggression... I don't blame them for having their ***** shields up at parties.

Met a girl I already approached before LOL!
I met some girls Fred was talking to. We went outside to talk more. I was feeling natural and fine, confident this time. I talked to the prettiest one, and apparently she knew me!
I didn't.
And then she guessed my origins.
Me : .... How do you know that?!?
The girls laughed.
Her : Ohhh yeah! I remember you, you talked to me at the mall a very long time ago!
LOL I cold approached her before! Nice hahahaha.
Then the friends decide to eject. It's only me and her outside, but the conversation is going boring... I was interested in her, she maybe was too. From here, I didn't know how to escalate things further. I was loosing confidence, and then I eject (fck...) and tell her that I'm going inside.
I didn't see her from the rest of the night, or I maybe did but decided not to talk to her because I had nothing else to say!...

Almost forgot to mention LOL!
Funny stuff! Approached 2 Uglies.
They were 5.5s or 6s.
So yeah, I go in by introducing myself. I'm not really nervous.
The girl I opened looked at me weird.
Me : Why you look at me weird like that?
Her : What? What did I do?
Then I imitate what she did in an overexaggerated way. Her friend laughs, she smiles a bit.
Her : I don't want to dance! Sorry!
Me : What? I'm just being friendly and introducing myself and you think I'm going to ask to dance?
Blablabla. We talk for a bit. They actually end up asking me questions here and there, even though the *****y look and the not so smiling face. I called her up on her *****y face.
I tell her friend to uncross her arms, she asks me why XD.
So yeah, Fred comes next to me.
Me : Hey man, wanna go talk to some other girls?
Fred : Yeah man!
Me : Alright!
I just walk away, give them the goodbye. They walk me walk away. Fred laughs his ass off LOL!

YOOO, THE UGLIES WERE FOLLOWING ME.

So yeah, later we head near the *bar* where they served drinks. I see the girls again.
Me : Ohh not you girls again!
Blablabla.
So the girl I introduced myself to was into me... her friend was telling stuff and I misheard.
Me : What? You want to marry me?
They laugh their asses off.
Friend : Nooo! I said blablabla.
Girl : I want to marry you.
She had no smile on her face, she was needy and unattractive.
I end up ejecting.

I tell Fred about it.
Fred : Oh, is that the girl that wanted to marry you?
Fred and friends laugh their asses off, I laughed a bit but I though that it was pretty mean... I tell them to stop.

LOL some joke again!
I ask some random fat girl if she wants to dance.
Her : Hum, why not
Me : Ohhh I'm sorry it was actually a joke!
Her : Ohhhh that sucks!
She smiles a bit, I smiled too. She was like disappointed, but at least she kept her good mood so I didn't harm anybody.
LOLOL so Fred laughs his ass off and we walk away.

Interesting! **** BLOCK BY ME.
I see that girl near a guy, but they're just standing here and not doing anything. Not even touching. The guy was same height as me so I wasn't feeling so threatened. I GO IN!
Me : HEY!
I extend my hand.
Me : I'm Mindgamez
We talk for a bit, than ask the guy if the girl's his girlfriend. It actually was!
Me : Ohhh alright! You're awesome man, your girlfriend is hot.
Then I just eject, tell them to have fun.
Friend of Fred laughs a bit at how I approached a girl with her boyfriend.

 

[Mindgamez]

Interesting stuff again.
Next set, a group of like 6 girls. **** tests attack! I was a bit affected, but not as much as I though.
Me : Hey! I am Mindgamez
I extend my hand to the prettiest girl, like HB8.
HB7 : Hey, get out! Get out!
Some other girl says the same. They all end up telling me to get out.
Me : HEY! HEY! NO! SHUT!!!
They were talking loudly, interrupting each other. They finally shut it.
Me : Hey, it's my club. So you girls, GET OUT! GET OUT!
They look at me with a confused look. They were reacting?
Me : Hahaha I was just kidding!
They didn't laugh either, they were still confused or whatever XD.
I was a bit anxious about what was going to happen with that kind of behaviour. But it wasn't a bad thing, because there's no way I'm rewarding this kind of *****y behaviour! Right?
So I turn back, talk to Fred and the friend again. They though it was fun, and then we start walking away. The pretty girl from the group talks to one of my friends.
Her : Hey! We're going to hang out with you guys.
I turn back.
Me : Whaatt? You girls are following me?
They laugh a bit this time. Yeah, pushing works man waah!
Her : Ohhh nooo! Blablabla
She goes physical and pushes me. She was testing me I sensed it. Though, I didn't brought things further, because Fred started walking away so I walked away with them instead of staying in the set! Man, next time I gotta focus on the girls, focus my RAS on them.

We head back near the *bar* where they serve free water, and later beer (that wasn't legal... the police wasn't here, hopefully).
Fred tells me to approach this girl. She's an HB8.5. but quickly turns out to be very *****y and I end up loosing all attraction.
Me : Hey!
I extend my hand.
Me : I'm Mindgamez You?
Her : I have a boyfriend, go away.
Me : Wait, is he here?
Friend : Yes he's right there! (she points to the left)
I don't even look at the left. I focus on her.
Me : Is he going to beat me?
I was smiling, just being friendly and cool.
Her : No he's not here, but I'm not interested to dance. Get out.
Me : What? I'm just being friendly and introducing myself! What's wrong with that?
I was about to tell her that she has pretty green eyes. They were gorgeous, but not for long. She didn't deserve the compliment, so I don't say it.
Her : Get away!
Me : ... *****.
Her : How am I a *****? I have a boyfriend!
Fred's friend : Alright Mindgamez get off! She has a boyfriend, you can't understand?
Fred : Yeah man it's enough, come.
I eject, feeling pretty bad this time. That memory came back to ind like a tape that was constantly played back and forth back and forth. I was loosing state. The girl had totally no smile on her face. Ughhh, I'm so repelled by *****es like that!

You know the blondeHB8.5 from earlier that I lost in the crowd? Met her again.
Me : Heey!
I slide my hand on her back, take her hand and swing it a bit left and right.
Me : Wanna dance?
I was very attracted here.
Her : Ohhh no I'm sorry! You don't even remember my name!
She was smiling a lot and stuff. Truth is that if you can't remember someone's name, this means that you don't care as much sometimes... It wasn't the case! But I still forgot.
She kept talking, but the music was loud, and I just kept staring at her eyes, getting closer and closer.
I slid my hands on the side of her body, gently going on the side of her boobs. They felt good, and it happened automatically.
Her : If you can remember my name, I will dance with you.
She gives me a smile, then in my head I'm like AHHH FCK! I just tell some random name, and it wasn't hers. She ejects but still keep that smile. She knew my name if I remember, but I didn't know hers...

Now that I think about it, I remember her name... Emily, or something.

Later, I see her grinding some other guy. I just walk past and ignore...
I see her again going out of the party this time. I see her, smile but it was a pretty weak one. I wasn't down for talking to her, because I felt like things didn't work out. She returned a weak smile too.

EDIT : Almost forgot!!!!
Yeah, I approached a set of like 5 girls. They were smaller, they looked like they were 15, and they actually were.
Though, they were hot for their age. They were cool with me approaching, I got closer to the hotter one, but she refused to dance with a smile (AHHH what do I do in these circumstances?)
So yeah, I just have fun here and there...
And then, I grind of of her friends. All the girls go like : Ohhhh hihihihihihi!
I'm grinding her, feeling good, but not so horny. I end up ejecting after like a minute or so. Fred was looking at me saying YEAHH.
Me : Ohh man, no horniness. I didn't even have the slightest erection...
Him : HAHAHAHAHA!

EPIC FUN MODE!!!
Fred : Heey man, we should remove our shirts for fun haha!
Me : Hahah I'm down!
Fred : We're going to look stupid haha!
We remove our shirts and spin them in the air. I dance near the girls like that and they laugh. I start shuffling here and there, I don't care and I was entering a good state.

Fred and his friends went out, and we chatted more. I made friends with the girls, and I was feeling confident and natural. I would just say what came to mind. Though, I always feel less confident when it comes to asking for contact information! Ahhh damn, whatever.
His 2 girl friends were cute. One he grinded and they connected pretty well. A 7.3 I'd say. The other one was a 7, but she had a very nice cleavage.

Conclusion
- SHEIT MAN THAT WAS KEWL.
- Go super physical, DO NOT resist attraction. Let it happen by itself, just look into her eyes and be completely unfazed. Even if she laughs, you don't need to laugh back until it comes naturally for example.
- A mistake I did. I DIDN'T PERSIST WHEN THINGS WERE GOING GREAT. I interpreted it as the girl not being interested. Fred told me that I was boss and that things were working great. Probably it was going pretty great. I just pussied out.
- TALK TO GUYS TOO! They can make very good wingmen sometimes. Just tell them what's up? And then tell them how you want to talk to that chick. Ask him what he would say, etc.
- Do NOT be intimidated by overconfident looking guys. Often, they end up standing on the side, scared of putting their huge egos on the line. Let go of it, just do what you gotta do.
- I gotta work on closing the deal and being able to converse 1 on 1 correctly.

What's coming up next!
Friday, I might go to some other social event with Gary. It's not really a party, but there will be a bunch of people from college there.
Or I might go to the movie theatres with some old friends from high school... we'll see.
In 3 weeks there will be another party, with FREE entrance for girls! Halloween style, I'll be bringing my Carrot costume, Dumi his Bunny costume!
There will also be a concert like 3 days earlier, and Dumi and me plan on going with our costumes and doing funny sh1t on stage HAHAHAH! It will be awesome.

Hope my parents will let me go to these

 

[Mindgamez]

Tuesday and Wesdnesday, I was pretty much a b1tch the whole time lool...

Thursday, October 11th
Interesting stuff happened! Did couple approaches here and there, felt better.
Remember HB Lau, girl I texted? I went a bit physical. I felt something new to this.
I felt so natural. I felt like I was letting love happen by itself. It wasn't for pickup anymore. It was to meet someone, have a good time. I enjoyed the silence.

So yeah,
First two classes had nothing special. I don't feel anything for HB Indi now as I am officially friendzoned IMO. She has a boyfriend anyway... whatever.
(Oh and holy fck I could literally see that girl's nipples through her white sheer blouse. Holy Nofap challenge... Not so hot face but damn hot tits.)

After my first class, I just met with Porno like usual. You know the fatty ****block? She was following me! She told me that she didn't know with who to hang out so she came with me.
She told me that she felt awkward when walking with people that know so many people. Do I actually know that much people? Well yeah... but I can meet much more!

During break after Writing class, I have plenty of time to go eat. I meet with Gary and we meet with some friend of a friend. Apparently he likes to use funny pick up lines for fun! We stopped to talk to the asian girl I talked to with Gary last time, and I introduced them to Jenny and her friends too. They were ugly, sadly haha...

When I enter my English class, I don't sit next to the cute blonde from last time. Actually, there was no seats left, or almost, because I arrived late. I sat next to my old buddies.

I met some guy named Leon, he was chill. He seemed like he was the confident type of guy.

BREAK! Class ended 30 minutes early.
I socialize with the usual guy acquaintances I meet on the random in the hallways. When I head back towards my classroom, I see Niya.
Remember? One of the first girls I ever approached on the random at my school! I though that I completely screwed up and that things sucked.
I see her across the hallway, just starring at the floor, towards me.
Me : Hey Niya!
Her : Ohhh hiii!
She had a bright smile, I returned the smile. I really wasn't as nervous as usual. I founded her to be much cuter today for some reason. She was adorable, really. Holy NO Fap Challenge, I love you
We started talking for fun, I teased her a bit about her looking lost and bored. I don't remember exactly.
Gary saw me on the random! He yells my name, and we exchange some good hug.
Me : Oh by the way, this is Gary!
They exchange hellos, but then I realize that they don't shake hands. I take both hands and bring them together hahaha XD.
Gary : By the way you're very beautiful.
Her : Ohhh thank you!
HELL YEH MAN that's what I'm talking about! I didn't have the balls to tell her that she was pretty. We kept talking for a bit, but then Gary ejected.
After like 2 minutes or so, an army of people I knew came left and right so I greeted all of them. I always keep it social with everyone.
Me : Alright well I'm gunna go to class now Niya! Alright seeya!
Her : Okay byee!
I extend my arms for a hug. It felt sweet and I couldn't resist saying
Me : Awwwn that's so cute!
Her : *giggles*
Me : Seeya!
I felt more natural on this one. It felt good.
I enter Humanities class in some good high energy.

Class over. SOCIALIZING TIME (aka PICK UP).
I wait for Gary to come over.
Damn I like this guy yes homo (if you're reading this Gary, I meant no homo).
We decided to walk around near where the clubs usually gathered. He showed me the Pagan club place. Damn it looked so nice and peaceful... Fantastic place to go to do some meditation.

We saw some random girl by herself. Let's say 6.5. She looked so young, even though she was 16-17 at least.
Me : Heey, do you wanna be our friend?
Her : Humm.... sure...
Me : Hahaha, why you look at us like that?
We kept talking for fun. We talked about philosophical questions and things about life. I just started off by asking her if she liked to do meditation, randomly. Blablabla, I had the running out of things to say syndrome.
When her friend came, I just introduced myself on the random. More awkward is less awkward!
Whatever. Things turn out boring. I'm not interested at all. We just let them walk away. I didn't care

Next one! A 7.
Gary went in alone this time. I just joined in randomly after 1-2 minutes. Gary went back to me for some reasons, but we reapproached.
Me : Heey, do you guys know each other?
Her : Ohhh actually no, blablabla.
We talk about some physical education stuff. I was trying to find what to talk about, thinking of some transition. Ahhh she seemed busy and she also told us, so we just left.

We kept walking, looking for girls to talk to. I pussied out quite a lot... Gary was always the one to approach first, and I'd join in afterwards.

HB7.5, but HOLY BEAUTIFUL BUTT. Damn, I love leggings on girls. Or I'm just Nofap challenge epic shiet.
I was pretending to look at the water bottles from the vending machine while Gary approached. I was acting like a pvssy and I knew it... I approached.
Me : Heey, do you guys know each other?
Her : Ohhh no XD
Me : Ohhh! Well I'm Mindgamez, nice meeting you.
Blablablabla. The talk was playful and fun, funny too.
Her : Are you in engineering?
Me : What? Because I'm an asian who wears glasses?
We all laughed. I founded myself to be funny on that conversation. She's on the phone talking to her friend.
Me : Tell your friend that you're talking to two awesome guys right now!
She gives me a beautiful smile. Ohhh adorable.
When she had to leave, I invite her for a hug. It was cute, and I decided to play around, grab her and move left to right.
Her : Hahahah okay enough enough, I gotta go now!
Me : Haha alright. Hey, we gotta exchange facebooks so we can chat again later!
Her : Ohh well, yeah you'll find me.
She started walking off, smiling. But she seemed like she was playing it hard to get, or simply wasn't interested. We talk to her again, Gary asks for her family name, but I don't care. I don't feel like adding a girl that doesn't deserve it.

We head back near my locker, and we see that 7 (she's like an 8 or something for Gary). We ask her to record us while we're dancing some funny stuff.
Ohhh I'm feeling retarded, ahhh... Why the hell? There's not even that much people looking at me!
We did it a couple of times. Funny stuff. We talked a bit more, but she was pretty quiet the whole time. She seemed kinda interested, but at the same time shy.

 

[Mindgamez]

Oh **** it's HB Lau! WTF she popped from nowhere? It was so unexpected, and I was caught a bit off-guard. She looked pretty today. HB8
Me : Ohhh heey Lau!
Her : Hi Mindgamez!
We exchange hugs. I ask her how she founded us, blablabla. She recognized my voice
After a while, we sat on the floor, back against the lockers. We talked for a goooood while, like 30-45 minutes or something? It was with me, Gary, Lau and the 7 that was sitting further shyly.
I sat next to HB Lau, facing each other. Our legs were touching at times.
Sometimes I'd just keep starring in her eyes.
Her : What?
Me : Ohhh nothing!
Her : Well why are you starring at me like that?
Me : No, why are YOU starring at me like that? I feel like you're going to rape me at any time.
People laughed, and hers was hot.
I started talking about he shoes, and I removed one of hers. I started tickling her foot.
Then, she stole my phone. I tried to get it back, but she kept it! I had no other choice but to go physical, hehehe.
Then, she hid it between her legs near her crotch. I think I touched it by *accident* LOL, as I reached for my phone. Later, she hides it near her butt.
She also stealed my fart machine. I was pranking people passing by and we were all laughing as hell XD.

Also, I socialized with a bunch of random people that passed by us near the lockers. They were pretty open. My opener was : HEY what's up!

Our legs were still touching. I kept looking into her eyes, but this time, I felt this warm sensation. I wasn't worrying and I wasn't thinking of what to say. Silence didn't matter. Actually, talking when it's not necessary is so useless. Silence was very enjoyable. She smiled at me.
Her : What is it?
I felt love, this beautiful feeling you get when you feel some real connection. Fvck pick up, that's all bullshiet. It's all about meeting new people, connecting with people. A smile rose on my lips by itself.
Me : Ohh nothing...
I turned my head away. Damn, it felt like it was a romantic movie!
So we started talking about her boyfriend. Gary and me started the conversation, and I was interested in knowing how the relationship was going.
She was in couple with Leon? Wait, I know this guy! He's a nice guy...

So we just kept talking and talking, laughing here and there, until her boyfriend came. Yep, it was the Leon I knew.
Me : Heeey Leon! How's it going man?
I exchanged a good handshake with the guy. It was a sincere one, and I know that this guy doesn't deserve this.
Leon : So how you guys know each other?
Blablablabla.
Her leg was over mine, but I dragged mine back to it's initial position, avoiding contact.
She stole my phone again, placed it between her legs near her butt for me to go get it. I got it and I was about to tease or tickle her, but I backed off from doing it.
We end up ejecting, Gary and me, after we exchanged some hugs.
HB Lau gave the guy a kiss.

We walked off.
Me : Ohhh DAMN Gary, if she had no boyfriend that'd be perfect!
Gary : Ohhh man, number one rule. Do not steal another guy's girl!
I thought about it, and it's right. If you know the guy, he doesn't deserve this.
Me : Yeah you're right man. FCK LAU! Hahahah XD
Even though I said fvck Lau, I didn't mean it for real. But I knew it could destroy me to get some new oneitis...

Good approach! HB7.5
So yeah... I pvssied out a couple of times before going in. (Actually, Gary went in first indirectly, asking the girl about the bus).
Me : Ohh yeah it passes in 10 minutes. We still have 10 minutes to chill.
We sit at her table after we commented on her book a bit. I looked like some book from my class.
Me : What's up?
She kept looking at her phone, didn't say much.
Me : You know, when someone's talking, you should never be on your phone! That's not cool!
Her : Ohhhh, blablabla, random shiet she said.
She kept texting on her phone. She was acting like a b1tch, clearly.
Me : Okay what's your name?
Her : ______
Me : WHat?!
Her : ________
Me : Rabbit?
Her : Ohhh yeah, my name's rabbit yes!
Me : Oh no doubt your name's rabbit. With a face like that of course.
Her face changed a bit. She was reacting. Gary laughed his ass off.
Me : Hahaha I was just kidding!
I touched her shoulder a bit.
Me : What kind of rabbit? The playboy rabbit?
Blablablabla, it was funny shiet.
Me : What's my name, do you remember?
Her : Hum...
So she doesn't, and Gary tells her. Blablabla.
Me : Ohh you know, we could've been the perfect couple, but I'm sorry. You're totally not my type.
Her : Ohhh okay, blablabla.
Me : Tell that person you're talking to that you're talking to the beautiful Mindgamez and that you don't have time! Blablabla.
She kept acting uninterested.
Guess what? A girl acting like a b1tch doesn't deserve my respect. Was I being too rude? Well, she didn't deserve compliments either.
I called her up a lot on her behaviour. I even farted on her directly. Though, I showed her that it was a prank machine.
I didn't intend to be mean or rude, so I tried to soften my rudeness with Just Kidding! Here and there, but sometimes I really meant it.

Gary uses a cheesy pickup line but it ended up being pretty funny
I whisper into her ear : What's your number?
She starts telling it out loud, but then I realize that I'm going to miss my bus. I give her my cellphone and tell her to just type it in randomly into that random conversation and to not press send.
I see her entering the digits and hesitating with every number. She felt unsure...
OHHH SHIET. Maybe it was because it was on some random convo and rushed, so she felt like it wasn't genuine? Whatever.
I extend arms for a hug.
Me : Alright seeya.
Her : No.
She backs off, doesn't even smile.
Me : Fck you.
Gary attempts the hug too, but she refuses. I start walking away fast. That b1tch didn't deserve it.

So we head back home...

Conclusion
- I remembered Todd's advice and analogy with the poker. When you're a professional poker player, you have to deal with bad cards that are given to you. Even though you're the best player in the world, if you're given bad cards, you won't win. Same goes with game. That last girl I talked to wasn't good cards! Though, I felt like my game was much better. I called her up on her bullsh1t and I wasn't worried of doing so. I have to step up and do my sh1t! I did it.
- Just have this feeling of pure love guys. Don't resist it. Even if you feel like it's unmanly or like in a movie, don't resist it. If it's love, well it is man. Just keep looking into her eyes.
- Silences are great, when at the appropriate time. Combine it with a beautiful smile, or of just starring into her eyes. Do it passionately, NOT with fear. And don't force it, and don't even think about it. It has to be natural.
- Tease and play around when you touch the girl. It's fun.
- BROS BEFORE HOES. Better make friends than enemies!

What's coming up next!
I texted HB Lau that we would meet up tomorrow, but I cancelled to meet up with Gary to do some pick up instead. I didn't want to waste getting a oneitis on her while I don't plan on getting her. She responded with a sad face when I cancelled ):
Cinema with a couple of old friends from high school tomorrow! It'll be fun.

SATURDAY : EPIC CARROT COSTUME PUBLIC PRANK WITH MY FRIEND DUMI!!!!
He'll be in his bunny costume chasing me, the carrot, downtown! HAHAHAHAHAH! It will be filmed!

SUNDAY : GAMING DOWNTOWN FEAT. RICKYBOY, SEX_IS_GOOD

 

[smithersonb11]

Been to MTL before, actually going again for march break, pretty awesome place. I live in tdot.

With poker; You can win with bad hands, in fact, poker is only like 10% what hand your dealt. In professional poker, it RARELY comes down to showing hands. It's about how you PLAY that ****ty hand. It applies to game as well. If you sit there and act like you have the best hand in the world, people will think you do.

Anyways, good ****

 

[Mindgamez]

Friday, October 12th
I was lazy these past few days to post, but I gotta get back on track guys!
So yeah. This day was kind of interesting in some ways. I can't quite remember everything.

So yeah
First class, as usual. Except that the fat chick took the seat next to Lychee. Sat next to friend instead. He's a pretty cool guy. I should hang out with him sometimes. For some reasons I'm not asking people to hang out during breaks, and I hang out with the same people... Can't understand why I'm feeling insecure, like I'm not cool enough. FCK THIS MAN.

Break tiimme.
I hesitate to go talk to those 2 girls sitting on the stairs. HB7-HB8. Gary just keep telling me that I should go for it, but I just ***** out. Oh, and then he remembers that he knows one of them. He goes and talk to them, and we start a conversation. I was feeling good, usually not thinking of what to say next. Gary's problem is that he usual always asks the same questions and his approaches look very similar from one to another. He has to try different stuff.
Truth is, I had trouble adding variety to my *approaches* too. I'm starting to be annoyed with the word approach, because it reminds me of cold approaching. I should just call it socializing.
So yeah, the conversation shifted to porn and stuff like that when they asked me what I was studying. I was talking about filmmaking, then about producing porn movies. It seemed like they believed me LOL.
Me : HAHA you girls really believed that I was doing porn movies?
Blalbabla, it was pretty funny.
Gary : Hey, did you girls notice Mindgamez farting on you earlier?
Girl : Ohhh what?!
Me : Ohh yeah. Girls smell too good, so I have to diffuse the smell a bit.
They laughed a lot.
Me : Nooo! It was just a joke. Here, farting machine!
I show them my pranking machine. They though it was pretty funny. We keep talking, conversation is fun. Apparently one of the girls work as a bartender, interesting. And they hire people based on looks.
HB7 : You two should work as bartenders.
Me : Oh yeah? It's because we're good looking right?
HB7 ; Yeah
Me : Awww that's sweet, thanks!
So I hug her, they smile and giggle.
So yeah, the girls have to head separate ways. The girls were like 19 and I didn't ask for their numbers... Damn fck ahhh!

We did couple more interactions here and there, but they were simple ones and nothing much happened.

I head to my film class.
The teacher isn't there yet! So we just wait in front of the classroom. I talk to the people and that very hot girl next to me. I cannot stay natural and I'm just nervous...
Then, we decide to go to that other door that leaded to the classroom. All the other students were there (mostly girls!) They're a lot of good looking girls there, but I was just a complete ***** here. When I talked, my voice felt weak. I really wasn't in the mood.

I text Gary and tell him that my class is cancelled. We meet up again.
Yep.
We walked in the hallway near my locker and saw a girl that looked like the asian girl from last time.
Me : Wait... are you Amy?!
Blablablabla, we talk for like 20 minutes. It was fun, she was cool too.
She wasn't the prettiest girl ever, so I wasn't so attracted. We just kept talking anyway.
I think Gary asked for her facebook as she was walking off to class. She just said like : Hummm yeah okkayy...
I didn't bother asking myself. I feel like when I ask some random girl her facebook just to have her in my friends on facebook isn't much. It feels forced.
Though, when there's a real connection, I feel it and it's more genuine. Then, I can proceed to ask for contact details and it feels natural. I have troubles making this happen with girls... It's not that I'm not interested, but it's probably because I'm feeling insecure. With guys it feels natural.

I forgot about the other interactions I did. Some were fun.
One of them was pretty bad, or was it only the girl? She was *****y!
Gary opened with something indirect. He pretended like she was sitting next to his locker from a past semester. Immediately, I felt like things weren't right and I didn't know what to say.
Ohh man Gary stop faking it, we need a legit reason to go!
So yeah, she didn't smile at all. When they exchanged a handshake, I interrupted.
Me : Hahaha, that was a pretty weak handshake XD
Her : What? You want me to do another one?
Me : No, no need for that. I was just saying.
They redo the handshake again, like she was annoyed. I wanted to leave.
We are creeps, fck this I hate this ahhh... we are creeps.
We end up ejecting after negative thoughts went through my mind a bit.

So we decided to visit the club area in the school and meet some new people there. The Christian club was open, and a few people were in. We talked a lot about meditation and religion for a bit. It was pretty interesting. They told me that I was welcome at any time and that we could meditate together next time. That's pretty cool.

Me : Wanna go in the Pagan club? I want to meditate for a bit.
Gary : Oh really?
Me : Yeah, I'm not feeling in the mood at all for some reasons man. I think I'm going to leave since my class is cancelled.
Gary : You ain't staying for breakdance tonight man?
Me : Mhm... no I don't want to.

I headed back home after that. I was feeling ****ty to be honest.

Recieved a text
Her last text from yesterday was : Have fun tomorrow without me ;P

HB Lau : You know you missed me today (;
Me : You know YOU missed me today!
Her : Yup, exactly ! Howd you guess ?? H
Me : I simply know you did! Lau that's really cute
Her : Haha well you last minute ditched ):
Me : I had to! Dont worry, I'll be with you next week *virtual hug*
Her : It's cooooool, virtual hug accepted ;p

Saturday, October 13th
HOLY ****. ENOUGH SAID.
I went downtown IN A CARROT COSTUME and took pics with hot chicks, danced in public, talked to random people, gave carrots to hobos. I was self-conscious at first with all the attention I was getting from everyone on the street, but I managed to stay in control. This is great. Conquer your fear of the ridicule guys!
I was with Dumi this day (he had a bunny costume) and some other guy that was filming.

I pussied out from asking the girls numbers.
They were running towards me, started wrapping me with their arm, ready for the picture. Happened couple times.
They told us that we were handsome!
Guess what? I pussied the fck out, and the opportunity was great.
I think that me wearing the costume showed the world how I didn't care what people thought of me. Truth is I cared but I was trying to control my fears.

After this, I felt like I could do anything in public and not be embarrassed by it. Damn, I felt good.
We had so much fun.

We did an EPIC VIDEO with all of this.
If you guys want to see it, simply PM me at any time. I'll send it to you. It's on Youtube!

We met with 2 girls afterwards. It was our first band meetup. We plan on making a metal band soon! It was fun and funny. I was awkward as first, but then I started getting comfortable and I said my funny things. That girl kept laughing at everything I said. Though they're both lesbians, not that pretty looking.

Today, October 15th
Texted HB Lau again for her to go check my costume video on my wall. She did and told me that it was pretty awesome.
When I don't respond, she sends me another text a while after.

What's coming up next!
I don't know. A BIG bunch of exams? Yep, that's pretty much what's coming up!
Tomorrow's school. I'm not feeling eager about this for some reasons. I'm not feeling ready to socialize again. Though, I know that I'm a fcking boss from going in the city dressed as a CARROT. Why do I care so much of what people think of me anyway? I'm too needy to get approval.
Well FCK THIS. I have to stop thinking like : I don't want to be lonely.
I have to start thinking like : I want to be social, I want to be confident, I want to achieve great things in life.
This negative thinking is starting to annoy me, really!
AGHHH!!!! Alright I can own that sh1t.

 

[Mindgamez]

Wednesday, October 17th
Let me be brutally honest.
I'M STALLING. I'm NOT taking action...
Though, it is kind of understandable because I've been pretty busy with school and stuff, but it's not a reason not to sit next to that pretty girl in class, or to ***** out from going more direct when I was talking to some people.

So yeah,
Basically, Tuesday and Wednesday(today) was pretty much... nothing interesting.
I still chill with the same friends, and on Tuesday I basically spent my time studying a lot. Same for today.
I noticed how studying puts me into logical mode, and I am not capable of socializing after I've been by myself for so long. I get into my head again!

So yeah,
It didn't stop me from making new friends (guy friends...)
Because I feel so much more comfortable with guys, ahhh why can't I do it with girls... It sucks.
I don't really make friends with the very social guys though. I often end up chatting with the normal guys, or shyer guys.

I gotta FCKIN STOP THAT NEGATIVE SELF-TALK!
I just keep repeating to myself that I cannot talk to this or this girl, because I'm not cool enough, or that I have to compete with those other guys. I tell myself that I'm not good looking enough, even though I know it doesn't matter as much. I think that I'm too young for her. I think that I won't know what to say next. I think that I'm a weirdo if I approach a girl on the random.

When I think of these thoughts again, right now, as I'm writing about them, I get that annoying feeling in my stomach again. It haunts me so often these days, when I don't even expect it. I can't understand this feeling of feeling low. It feels like the more I try to push it away, the more it comes back.

Ahhh, feels better to write this down in my journal. When I'll be reading this again, hope that I'll laugh my ass off.

Today,
Made friends with that friend of friend. Nothing special, but I have to notice how much more natural I was when talking to him.
Why can't I just talk about anything with anyone, like I did with him? We met on the random and became friends from there, and I even invited him to come visit me sometimes (since we live on the same street OMG mind**** XD).
It doesn't matter who I'm talking to, but I always care about it. When it's someone that seems open, I just talk and talk naturally. When it's someone that seems too *cool*, or whatever, I just can't talk as naturally. If I just allow myself to be normal around people and just be my real self, they'll be drawn into it.

It comes to giving love to people. Share that good feeling with them.

Peace
So as I headed back home, I was feeling so peaceful, for some reasons.
It's a nice place here. I like my town, it's very calm and no one to disturb you.
I looked at the orange, red trees. Fall was coming.
The fresh air from outside, it's great to go out sometimes.
I felt like I wanted to sit outside and just enjoy the sound of the trees moving to the wind. I remembered some sayings from my parents.
When you're older, you learn to enjoy the little things more. I remember when I was a kid, I would get bored so easily and needed stimulation over stimulation to be happy. It took me a reason to be happy. As you get older, you can just sit down all day, contemplate nature and be totally fine with that. This, is peace.

I want to feel as peaceful and present in everyday situations. I want to stay unaffected by what people throw at me. I want to live in peace, through massive action. I want to be powerful beyond measure.
And there's no need to associate with any results I'll get or any actions I'll do. No need to be impressed by myself. Because what I do is simply what it is, and nothing more.
What if I make-out with a couple girls at the party coming the 27th? That's what I'm capable of, and that's not the super-hero me. That's just me being me, and there's no need to feel this high of energy. I feel good no matter stimulation I get. I can feel peaceful like I'm sitting at the park, feeling the wind brush gently on my face with the smell of autumn.
What if I get rejected tomorrow when I'll sit next to that pretty girl?
That's totally fine. There's a bigger world out there. Results don't affect who I am as a person. And what if who I am really doesn't matter? Why rationalizing an identity for yourself, when you can't quite be sure if your interpretation of reality is right? What if I'm totally wrong about what I think of myself? What if my friends are wrong with what they think of me? What if the girls are wrong too?
There's no need to justify a reason to be peaceful.
There's no need for an answer to that unanswered question.
I accept whatever feeling is in me, and fighting for it to go away doesn't do anything. It doesn't matter what my body's experiencing right now. Accepting it is fine.

All I ever have is now. And I make the best of it. I enjoy it.

What's coming up next
I seriously don't care so much about what's next for now. All I want is to feel peaceful. I don't care about making friends right now. I don't care about getting a girlfriend for now. All I ever want is to be confident, happy, peaceful, great. Friends and girlfriend will come when they will come.

I'm still meeting with Gary and Arshad tomorrow to socialize with people from the school. I won't call it pick up anymore, I'm tired of it.
Meeting with HB Lau this Friday, for real. I don't intend on flirting with her because she has a boyfriend. Unless she really shows interest, I'll tell her that she's very beautiful.

 

[Mindgamez]

I wrote a poem. Feel free to interpret it the way you want to.

UNEXPLAINED

Creating
A renewed sense of self
Resentment
Born from a misconception of reality
Is what they told me

Finding
A comprehension for this
Uneven fabrication
Built upon undefined foundations
Still I thrust towards it

Freedom

Defying
What they assumed
As unwavering axioms
Discerning lies of plague
Seizing
The truth concealed somewhere
Within madness

Shivers perturbing me as I attempt comprehending
This cold reality
Abhorrence
Of the mirror’s reflection
Non-acceptance
Of this imagery
Establishing an undefined perception

Acknowledging the
Unknown
Consenting with this
Final sentence
Becoming one with
Fear
Welcoming this energy
Renewed
Innovative, I believe

Lead by my own hypothesis
Following my own directions
To die, simply
To reach imperfect perfection

 

[Mindgamez]

Thursday, October 18th
Cool stuff guys, cool stuff! I feel back on track.
HB Lau just kept showing interest, but I just kept pulling back because I don't want her boyfriend to get mad at me. I know the guy personally... too bad.
Went to the mall, did a couple approaches. Ahhh yeah, good stuff to get back on track!


So yeah,
Woke up this morning in peace. It felt good.

Started the day with an exam. I like philosophy, it was interesting to write about it. My perception about reality comes pretty close to Existentialism. We are responsible for our lives and actions, and we are what we make ourselves to be. Man is nothing more than his own life.
Let's not forget about Quantum Randomness. I believe that events or things just happen randomly. Like poker, you might get bad cards, but it's you that decides how you play them. You choose how to react to unpredicted events that just happen.

Then, I left class and went straight to the library. Read my book.

Class is alright. I get a bit nervous when it's my turn to read outloud. I was insecure with my ability to read in English, but it was all for nothing. Everything went right... I don't see where was the problem.

After that, I meet with Arshad. Cool guy! He introduced me to his friends, and I felt pretty comfortable here. I wasn't dependent at all. I just talked when I wanted to, laughed when it was time. Everything felt right.
If I would lose them right now, I wouldn't mind. Actually, if all my friends from this school would stop existing, I'd be totally fine too. All I ever wanted was to feel peace, to be happy, and I don't care about whether I make friends or not.
This feeling of non-neediness was great. What's fascinating is how it felt so true on the moment. It's true that I don't care so much about getting new friends or not. I am happy right now.

So then I went to English class. Lol funny stuff happened.
I just kept catching myself looking at this blonde girl with who I failed the flirting...
AHHH MAN stop looking at her if you aren't going to talk to her...
So yeah, then the teacher told us to be silent for a while. Then, I stood up and ate my apple near the garbage can, threw it. The fat ****block was watching me, with a funny look, so I stared back, standing up in the middle of the class. The girls watched and laughed, it was pretty funny.
I catch this hot girl looking at me during class. I slowly smile, she smiles back. Though at the end of class, when I talked to her, I was feeling like a ***** and it seemed like things weren't working.

In Humanities class, this girl decides to sit next to our desks. She was SUPER HOT omfg (horray for NoFap challenge!).
Me : Hey, hello new classmate!
Her : Hey.
She looked at me quickly, went back to her notebook.
I imagined her giving me a *******, then opening her legs wide to welcome my tralala. I'm such a perv! Though I didn't talk to her because she seemed uninterested. Damn I never felt so rusty.

After school, there's HB Lau's friend (a 6) that came to talk to us. She actually skipped one of her bus to go chill with us. I met this guy named David (Gary's friend, he's FCKN awesome!) and he likes to do pick up too.
So I was feeling so bad for some reasons at that moment. I felt like I would never be able to talk to girls today.
It was 4:30PM and we had to do something.
Well, for a little while we chatted with her and David that came. I suggested that we go walking, and we did.

OH WHAT? HB LAU, what the hell is she doing here again?
I was caught in surprise and I was kind of feeling nervous again. We exchange some hug.
I tell her that we're heading to the lounge. When we get there, we just chat and chat. HB Lau and friend decide to go sit on the chairs, but I keep talking to some breakdance buddy. Later, they get off their chairs and come back to us.
Friend ; Ohhh I gotta go catch my bus pretty soon.
Me : Ohhh alright. You staying?
HB Lau : Yes I am!
Me : Oh yeeehhhh!
We hug, it's fun.
I lead again and suggest them to go take a walk outside. It's very good to switch environments for some brand new stuff. It feels like you aren't just meeting them at one place but you're actually hanging out.
Outside felt pretty chill.
HB Lau just kept looking at me when I was talking and laughed at the unfunny things I said. She would sometimes give me the sexy eyebrows, and I responded too. I felt like she was getting needy with her laughing at what I was saying.
For some reasons I was a bit turned off by that. She's still pretty, no doubt, but it's true that neediness can be a turn off. I can't imagine how hot girls have to deal with that all the time!
So yeah, we walked by the lake when HB Lau's friend had to leave.
I was feeling so peaceful. Autumn looked so beautiful today, and I'd just enjoy the silence.
David : ... awkward silence!
Lau : Haha, yeah...
Me : I personally don't feel awkward at all during awkward silences. It just feels right to me.
I kept looking at the setting sun, the leaves following the wind.
After a while, I told them that we should go back inside the school.
Inside the school, we meet with HB Lau's boyfriend. We exchange some handshakes, though he refuses to give me a hug for some reasons, though gave it to the other guys.
HB Lau : Oh that's rude!
BF : I know.
I don't know if he was joking or not, but I wasn't so affected by this.
So yeah, we just kept talking for a while.
Me : Hey Gary, wanna do some at the mall this evening?
Gary : Ohh yeaahh yeaahh!
David too was pretty down for that. We were happy. We end up heading separate ways.

On the way out, I see Darnell, friend of Brandon (guys all down for pickup, hell yeah!). We head to the mall.

BACK TO COLD APPROACHING. It's been a while.
So yeah,
My first approach took me a while. I kept *****ing out a bit at first. I felt rusty...
So yeah, I opened this girl, but when I said : Can I tell you something real quick?
She putted her earphones back and just kept walking... LOL WUT. Whatever, she looked younger from close. She was a 7 but not more.

Second approach!
Yeah, that was alright.
I used the usual opener, felt a bit uncomfortable because it's been a loonnng while. So we shook hands, everything, though her excuse was that she had to leave. I didn't persist and just let her go this time... whatever.
She was not bad, a good 7.5

After Gary and David finished talking to that girl, we met at the food court. We pussied out from talking to this group of 2 HB8.5 blondes... omfg they were hot as hell.

Third
I see this girl walking by herself going to a table. We were eating a couple meters away.
Me : Holy damn man shiet shiet shiet I gotta go for her man. I gotta go for her. Okay man I'm going!
So I walk towards her.
Me : Hey excuse me. Can I tell you something real quick?
She looks at me, we smile at each other and I sit down right in front of her. I tell her that she's cute. We exchange names, etc.
I joke a bit when her friend arrives, it's fun and cool.
It is weird how I get those waves of feeling naturally in peace and feeling nervous. It's like I'm neither one or the other. I'm both.
So we end up exchanging numbers. I kind of get nervous at this point!
Me : Oh hey, do you have facebook? Oh yeah, of course you do.
Her : Yeaahh
I pull off my cellphone.
Me : Ohh yeah... well since I just pulled off my cellphone instead of my iPod i'll just add your number then.
Lol XD... so she punches in her number. We exchange a hug and she hugs me tight.
Me : Awww a tight hug, that's so cute!
So I back off a bit, then let my hands linger a bit on her back as I see her giggle.
That goodbye I gave her felt pretty confident. Ahhh, I like ending a conversation on a good vibe.

I texted her, she didn't respond yet...
Though her friend (a 5) founded me on facebook (STALKER LEVEL OVER 9000) and we started chatting. She was interested in knowing if I was going to go for her or not. Is she stupid? Of course yes loool.

Forgot to mention about my 4th approach
The girl was meeting with her boyfriend, though she was pretty happy of the compliment. Gary joined in too for the fun haha.

What's coming up next!
Tomorrow I'll be gaming with Gary at school. This time, I have to go more hardcore, like I was at the mall. Man, what's so different? I just gotta chillax and talk to people. I can enlarge my social circle and it's fun to do so.

Holy **** it's already 11:30 PM and I don't have time to meditate. Too bad I guess... I'll just go to sleep.

 

[Mindgamez]

Friday, October 19th
Super Friendly mode was ON.
Got complimented on how friendly I was.
Oh yeaah...

So yeah,
First class was very boring... almost fell asleep lol!
I pussied out from talking to that girl from my class when class was finally over. Damn.

Doesn't matter.
Julian texts me and he wants to meet up. On the way to the Munch Box, I see some friend of HB Lau, and he decides to go see some friends. Surprise! I actually know one of the guys there. I introduce myself to all of the people.
I was feeling natural, non-needy and I just felt like giving love to people. I would simply chat just for doing it.
Jo : Mindgamez, how are you so friendly with everyone? You're like the friendliest person ever!
Girl : Yeah! How do you stay so happy all the time like that?
Me : Hahaha, well it's easy.
I tell her about not expecting anything from the world and not desiring anything. When your standards to be happy are close to none, you don't need a reason to be happy and you just are for no reason.
Me : To be happy you don't need friends. You don't need anything. You don't need family. Once you believe this, you don't need a reason to be happy.
I founded myself smiling for no reason, just talking to talk. I hugged all of them.
Jo : Dude how you know so many people?
Me : Ohhh there's no secret! You just say Hi, that's it!
Jo : Ohh I though that I knew a lot of people, but not!
So I just catch those girls starring at us. It was Fat ****block and the girl that was hitting on me at Staples. They started laughing.
Me : Whaatt!
Fat : Blablablabla.
Me : Why you keep starring?
So I just get off my seat and sit at their table. I chat for a while. They tease me and tell me how all I do is hit on random girls left and right! But I tell them that I'm just being friendly.
Then, I introduce myself to their friend next to them. She seems uninterested for some reason. Doesn't matter, I continue the funny convo I was having, talking about porn, masturbation and such... LOL. I was shameless. Then they had to go.
Gary : Ohhh man, that was terrible!
Me : I wasn't trying to hit on them... they're ugly man!
Julian : Oh my god man, blablabla XD
Me : It really doesn't fcking matter what you say. It's how you say it! As long as I'm having fun and they're too, there's no problem.

Ohh, I almost forgot that I had to meet HB Lau today. I text her that I'm at the Munch Box.
Got a bit affected by Julian's words. He's criticizing me but he never tried for himself. I don't know why I'm still reacting to other people's opinion on picking up girls. It's my life after all, my decisions.
Gary wants to talk to that one girl sitting there. He wants me to go in, but I really hesitate a lot. I notice that she ain't thaaat hot. So yeah, Gary goes in.
I watch from close behind, and after like 1-2 minutes I join in.
Me : It actually was a social experiment.
The girl turns back, smiles and laugh.
Gary talks about us wanting to know more about like some social situations, body language, etc.
Me : In a situation like this, do you think that it is socially acceptable that a random guy just walks up to you to talk?
Her : Well, haha it was a bit creepy kind of, like asking me where I live and if I want to hang out!
Blablabla. It was kind of interesting to do, and she was very open.
I went back to the previous group of friends from before and exchange numbers with Johnathan (seems like a cool and social guy)

We decide to head to the Christian club and talk to the people over there. There weren't any pretty girls, nor that many people. We left after a while, after I introduced myself to some new people.

Oh, forgot to text HB Lau... I text her 20 minutes late, telling her that I'm at the Christian club but leaving. She then tells me that she has homework to do, so I tell her that it's fine. I literally didn't care, which is pretty cool.

So we left, remained in the hallway in the basement near Gary's locker. We talked to a bunch of random people here and there, and I was feeling pretty natural. LOL guys' faces when Gary approached them. When I approach guys too, they look so fcking lost or awkward it's so funny.
Gary opens with a Hey what's up man?
He's totally being friendly, but the guy's just freaking lost LOL!
He talked to some girl and it actually seemed to be going pretty well! until he came back 2 minutes later.

After that, I went to film class. Made friends with that pretty social guy. I always see him talking to girls, usually kinda cute. And he's pretty chill too! He went to breakdance with us a bit and to the gym too.

After that, I was tired as hell...

You know Freddie, the guy I met at the EPIC NIGHT GAME ALL AGES party? (see 1 year anniversary post) He wanted to hang out tonight, but I guess that I couldn't because my parents would never let me go out at 9PM... It could've been epic, but whatever.

What's coming up next!
GAMING TOMORROW, 1:30 TILL 6. Or even more? We'll see.
Let's get back on track. Let's get to that natural self, like casual socializing at school. It's easy and fun. Giving love to people, that's it. Go physical when I feel like it, flirt as I let arousal happen by itself.

FCK YEAH!
I'll be with Brandon, Porno, Sex_is_good, Arshad, and myself. We'll have to split into groups I guess, but it'll be fun!

 

[Mindgamez]

AHHH NOOO I just clicked X by accident and now I have to rewrite all my post...
So yeah, basically I did pick up Saturday AND Sunday. It was very epic

Saturday, October 20th
Not as good as Sunday, but it was necessary to get a good Sunday!
Approached set with guy right next!!

So yeah,
Took 20 minutes to meditate in the morning.

I did a couple 10 approaches in total.

Only Porno could show up, and Brandon joined later during the day.

1st approach, I get completely ignored!
As I do more and more, I feel better and better. I have to deal with many *****es that day...

Oh, let's not forget this approach that made me holy shiet!
HB9. Her sexy ass was intimidating. She was SMOKING.
She was with a group of 4 friends or so.
I hesitate a bit, but Porno pushes me. Ohhh DAMN I go in!
I tell her that she is beautiful. I see the 4 girls turning back, along with 2 other guys. They were both taller than me.
Me : Oh wait, are one of these guys your boyfriend?
Her : Naaah!
Guy : No, but her boyfriend is over there.
Her : Yeah he is
Me : Ohhhh, okayyy then XD You guys have a nice day.

Porno : Those guys were just jealous man, you're such a boss for that!
Me : Hahaha, thanks maaann.

Another set, the guy was RIGHT NEXT to her.
I catch her looking at me. HB7.5
I slow down a bit, tell Porno that I'm ready to approach that set. After a bit of hesitation, I go.
I say the usual line, and the girl goes : Wooow!
The people in too.
Me : Let's hope that he's not your boyfriend!
Him : Actually I am.
Me : Ohhh, well you know what, you're pretty damn awesome man. Your girlfriend's pretty.
Blablabla, the girl mentions how awkward the conversation is. I wasn't feeling so awkward to be honest, until she pointed that out.
The guy complimented on how courageous I was, the girl too. She was not so receptive though. I ejected.

I called girls up on her behaviour when I had to, especially during those last approaches.
I was told that my pick up lines were terrible, and that I should go pick up some other girls instead.
*****es that Saturday Oh my god! Like almost every set resulted in some *****y behaviour.
Though I was confident. Was I faking it? Was I being ****y? Maybe just a bit, but it's good to try some different stuff. I felt like it wasn't true confidence.

Sunday, October 21st
YEAH! EPIC NATURAL MODE.
Took me a while to achieve that. The last sets are always the best.
I proposed a girl that we kiss before she leaves for Ontario! Kissed her hand as I opened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po2VX8ErpYQ
This song makes me feel manly haha, gets me pumped up.

So yeah,
Didn't have time to do meditation in the morning, or the night before. I watched some RSD video instead. I should've done meditation though.
I did some pretty ****ed up dream, then I woke up in the middle of the night. Had big troubles going back to sleep because of fckin 20 days of NOFAP! (enough said)

So we arrive at Atwater this time. As I arrived, I saw a big bunch of girls and guys heading in the cegep. Holy **** what?! It's SUNDAY...
It's later that I realized that it was the cegep's open house today.

So when I meet with Porno, it takes me a while for me to muster up the courage to approach a girl.
We spot a group of like 6 girls.
Me : Ohh damn there's an army over there!
Porno : ALRIGHT MAN, GO! JUST GO MAN!
Me : Ahhh naahh maann!
I was literally acting like a ***** now.
Porno : NOO MAN! Oh my god do you want me to kick you in the balls or something?
I kept *****ing out. I entered the convenience store.
I empty my mind for like 10 seconds, think of my goal in all of this.
Me : Alright man, let's GO.
So we went in.
Porno opened telling the girls that they're really hot. Pretty good
So yeah, we keep talking and talking. They're apparently in University? No way, they looked young. I lie and tell them that I'm 25, Porno tells them that he's 50.
Some random girl comes in! LOL FUNNY STUFF HAHAHAHA!
I shake hands with her. She shakes mine, she tells some incomprehensible stuff and doesn't even finish her sentence.
Me : Whaaatt?
She looks away, looks around to her phone.
Me : What did you say? Ohhh you didn't even finish your sentence.
She doesn't even shake Porno's hand, wtf!
She was definitely very socially RETARDED. HAHAHAHA!
Whatever, they eject. I just kept laughing at this retardedness. A couple months ago I would take it personally, now I just think it's funny.

We wandered around the cegep, pussied out because all the girls, like ALL of them were with their parents. Or we were just making excuses... Whatever.

We decide to take the metro and head to our usual gaming place.
THE GAMING PALACE, we call it! It's where we always game.

I cannot remember my approaches anymore... I only remember the good ones now.

Porno told me how I should've stayed in that set OH MY GOD! He was so right. I didn't notice how good things were going.

We did a couple on the streets.
There was this particular set, two girls. Actually they were ugly from close... Maybe a 6.5 (the one that responded better), and the other one was a straight fatty.
Porno opens, saying that they're beautiful. I join in.
Me : Heey how's it going?
Blablabla. I introduce myself to the two and cross my hands in the double handshake position. None of them shake my hand. The fatty kept a straight face, even though said thank you. We kept talking for a while, it was playful until that fatty interrupted.
Fatty : Alright. I have a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend. We have to go, sorry.
Me : Ohhh alright, calm down. Oh, and you should smile more to people, especially to a compliment!
The fatty's face got more serious. I flinched a bit here, scared that I made her mad lol. Why the hell be scared anyway? She can't eat me (or maybe she can LOL)
Fatty : My smile didn't satisfy you?!
Me : Well, no.
6.5 : Okay well it was nice meeting you guys!
Me : Nice meeting you too!
Porno : Seeya!
The 6.5 smiled and was joyful the whole time pretty much. It was cool.
Damn b1tch doesn't like compliments.

Was I an ******* here? Or did I act correctly? What would you guys do?Comments please.

We went into some store. A set of 2 beautiful girls.
OH MY, that one was an HB8.5 solid.
I open with the compliment. The other girl on the right seemed older, but they were both in high school. She was just a bit older than the HB8.5. She didn't smile as much though, because we were talking to the other girl more. Oh damn Porno, you have to talk to the other girl I don't talk to XD... damn I told you that I was aiming for the girl in white!
Me : We literally stood there for 10 seconds wondering nervously if we could go talk to you girls!
HB8.5 : Haha, well you guys have no reason to be nervous.
I was relieved with the honesty. I was clearly not trying to impress here. She laughed to that, and she was so true. No need to be nervous...
Me : So how old are you?
Her : I'm 15.
I look at her up and down.
Me : Woow, you definitely don't look 15!
She laughs joyfully.
Damn she was beautiful though. She was from Ontario too apparently (I think that's what I remembered).
We ended up ejecting because we had nothing else to say. Ohhh why... She was 15 but what? She didn't look 15 at all.

 

[Mindgamez]

Earlier today we passed by a set of 2 girls working at a jewellery store for women. We told ourselves that we would go later during the day...
So we did.
But I think that the fact that we told ourselves that this was like one we had to be prepared for made us go in our heads. Oh why? Because they're in a women's store? Ahhh man!
So we entered the store. The girls looked liketwo HB8s from far. They were alright from close.
When we enter and walk towards then, I see the look on their faces changing. Their eyes widen, like they're wondering what we're doing in that store... I noticed it but wasn't too affected. Maybe a bit.
So we chat and chat. I told Porno to focus on the other girl, but he talked to the girl I wanted to talk to... this resulted in both of us talking to her and kind of putting the friend aside... lol.
So I just keep talking and talking. Porno ejected and I didn't notice it!
Me : Heey, where's Felix? Ohh well this means 2 girls just for me.
Both girls laugh, but they kind of backed off. I was nervous for sure here for some reason.
I ask that other woman if she saw some guy walking out of the store, and she said that she ain't sure where, but that I should go and find him.
The girls agreed. Lol such a **** block woman! Whatever. I ejected.
This approach, I felt creepy. That's why I gave that bad vibe, because I was telling myself that I was creepy. Maybe was it that first look they gave us as we entered the store?
Or maybe it was all that unnecessary mental *preparation*.
Or maybe because Porno ejected? Whatever.

Set of like 5 girls and 3 guys, with a TALL girl, very sexy... HB8.5 solid. I like tall girls, they're so hot.
So yeah, I see them in that huge ass group.
Me : Ohhh man, jackpot man!
Porno : Ohh damn that tall girl is hooot mann...
I just let them walk away. We keep walking. Oh shiet, we see them again. This time, she was a bit further from her friends.
Me : Ohh man I'm feeling like a ***** AGHHH aghghh aghghagh...
So then I remember my goal in all of this. Again. I find myself leaving my chair by magic to walk to her.
Me : Heey, excuse me. Had to tell you that you're really beautiful!
She smiles to the compliment. She was a bit awkward, but she just kept standing in front of me, like she was waiting for me to say something. Oh my god, I didn't notice that she really wasn't backing off. She had to order her food, but she was still standing close.
Me : You're pretty tall. Were your parents tall too?
Her : Ahhh yeah.
Me : Ohhh okay. You probably like them tall too right? Like 12 inches!
She was eating at subway LOL HAHAHAHA! EPIC LINE!
Me : Ohh, and it's not true that asians have a small penis!
She laughed to the both things I said. I felt like a supreme boss, but I felt uncomfortable at the same time. I pussied out and I felt like I really had to eject...
Me : Hahaha, I was just kidding, have a nice day!
I tapped her on the shoulder, she was totally fine with that. She didn't back off or anything.

The last ones are always best.

Porno : Ohh there's 2 hot girls there.
Me : Ohh damn fck...
A wave of nervousness strikes my body.
Porno : Come on gogogo!
Me : Yeah i'm going.
As I walked towards her, nervousness started flying away. I was feeling like a boss.
Me : Hey, I have to talk to you girls for 5 seconds!
I take a pause, take my time. I smile slowly and say the compliment, focusing on the hotter girl. HB8.5 for sure!
I introduce myself to both girls, and THANKS Porno for winging me on that one! (He talked to the fat ugly one)
I shook hands with the HB8.5 exchanging names. We kept talking, it was playful. I called her up on her bad handshake and we did another one.
Do it man, okay just do it. You know it's a great move.
I bring her hand close to my lips, and kiss her fingers!
She was smiling joyfully, but she was definitely shy. She looked away left and right, like she was worried that her parents would see her or something.
Damn she was beautiful...
Apparently she was heading back to Ontario (her too, wtf?!)
Me : Ohhh no! So we ain't going to have our marriage, and have a house, and have kids, and live on that beautiful island?!
It all went out by itself like lightning, and it was pretty funny. They all laughed.
Me : Hey, before you leave to Ontario, we should kiss each other.
I gave the warmest smile. I was very sincere, and she smiled too. I bet that she was down for it too.
DAMN I should've said like : Your shyness is absolutely adorable, it drives me crazy... Saying that would've killed her.
She refused with a smile, and then they told us that they had to catch the train before it was too late!
Ahhh... man I sensed some good things going on here.
In the middle of the conversation, I just went in for the hug with the HB8.5. She was shy...

Porno told me that I was a complete boss on that approach.
True that I was feeling so confident and natural on that one! Hell yeah.

Next approach was at the Second Cup in the mall. Two HB7s (they looked way hotter from the back...)
Porno goes in first. I let him go by himself, but then he ejects after a while.
As he ejects, I catch those 2 girls watch him walk away. Then, they lock eye contact with me. I feel no nervousness AT ALL.
Me : Heey. Do you girls know that guy?
Girl : Nooo
Me : Wasn't your boyfriend?
Girl : Nooo hahaha
Me : Oh well, you girls are cute! Nice meeting you!
They laugh joyfully, HAHAHA! I just pretended like I didn't know Porno!
We talked for a while, it was pretty funny. That other girl's name was Angel, oh ma gawd!
Me : Angel?! So you come from heaven? I don't see your wings.
Both girls laugh, it was funny. Blablablabla. I wasn't interested in meeting them. The redhead asks me where I'm from.
Me : What? You want to stalk me? (I love saying that for some reasons)
Girl : Ohhh yeah, absolutely!
Hahaha, she was interested. Blablabla.
Me : Well we'll have to say goodbye forever girls! Maybe I'll see you girls again at the mall sometimes.
I go for the hug, they hold tight.
Redhead : You sure you don't know that guy?
Me : Hahahaha I actually know him! We were just having fun, and it was some kind of bet we had.
Her : Ahhh okay!
We exchanged goodbyes. It was pretty funny.

Stress level? ZERO, ABSOLUTE! Holy shiet man.

At the metro, I see a set of 2 girls again. They were pretty hot... Porno hesitated this time. It is kind of rare for Porno to hesitate, but I still decided to go in.
It was pretty cool, and they were pretty hot. like two HB8s.
Porno had to leave after 1 minute of conversation, because he had to take the bus! I entered the metro with them and kept chatting. It was funny at first, but it became more and more boring with time.
Ohh **** I'll have to stay the whole trip with them? Ahhh man!! I ain't ready for this...
I then noticed what my problem was : maintaning good and long conversations. Because I can be good at giving that initial burst of attraction (example, opening the girl and kissing her hand right after), but I have troubles maintaining it long.
So the conversation really died down... I didn't ask for their digits because I felt like it wouldn't work out anyway.
Thing is I HAVE to initiate the flirting as soon as possible! Ohh man...

I walk out the metro.
I am a man, an nothing can stop me. This is my life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC77p1bjsic
I love this song. It has no end and no beginning. It just happens to be as evil as Anxiety. It haunts you mercilessly non-stop. When you learn to live with it, you actually start appreciating it.
HOLY **** HB9 behind me at the bus stop. She was standing close to me. I could've approached, but I pussied out. She was way too hot. I wasn't prepared.
A couple seconds later, I see a tall black guy approaching the girl next to her. I couldn't clearly hear what he was saying, but seemed like he was hitting on them. He got rejected!
I was scared of attempting an approach. I ended up not doing it... Whatever I guess.

Conclusion
- My weakness is holding long conversations. I gotta work on that!
- My last approaches are always the best. I gotta keep that state of mind no matter where I am, no matter when, no matter what. Of course, easier said than done I know...
- Call girls up on their bull****. When you do, they might end up laughing of recognition. It's cool, do it. If she doesn't deserve the attention, don't give it to her! If she's a b1tch, too bad for her.
- GO PHYSICAL, kiss the girl's hand!
- Flirt as soon as possible. Once in friendly chat mode, it's hard to transition to flirting somehow. Jump right into it. When you do it, you feel like you don't need to transition to flirting again, because it was already done in the first place.

What's coming up next!
PARTY the 27th, holy **** it's going to OWN man.
I'm going for some epic grinding, some epic kissing, some epic sex.
No big deal.
Oh, and maybe concert the 24th too!

But for now, I have a lot schoolwork to work on...

 

[LearningSlowly]

- My weakness is holding long conversations. I gotta work on that!

Get some numbers that they'll follow through on. The way to do this:
-Are you in cegep?
-Oh cool, me too! I haven't met you yet.
-I'm going to ____ this weekend. Give me your number, so you can get details.

That's more or less how I get numbers around here, I just say something fun that's happening that weekend, whether I actually plan on going or not.

 

[Mindgamez]

Cool stuff, but what if you ain't going anywhere this weekend? Lol...

More than 3 weeks of NOFAP. I'm aiming for 90 days. My 90th day will be the 31st of december. I want to end 2012 with greatness.
Oh yeah. My goal for 2012 was to get laid. I'll reach that, I still have 2 months left to push myself to the max. Parties, here I come.

Wednesday, October 24th
It's been a while, and I notice how I've been feeling worse and worse!

So yeah,
This tuesday though, I was feeling pretty good. The day before, I did meditation for 20 minutes twice. I felt so good the next morning, so relaxed! It allowed me to feel good. I talked to some people here and there, no flirting happened. Pretty much socializing, the basic socializing.

Chatted with Niya a bit, sat next to some cute girl in my English class. My reason was that I forgot my exercise book (though it was true XD). I didn't flirt at all. I hate when fat ****block is near when I want to talk to some girl. She end up interrupting and telling me to stop *gaming*.

Today though, I was much more in my head.
There was a conference today, and I tried to find friend to sit with. I didn't find anyone after a couple minutes of walking around in the huge gym, so I just sat to a random girl.
This was PRETTY funny LOL. Oh my god, socially awkward people sometimes...
So yeah. I sat next to her and noticed another fat guy next to her too. She was an okay 6.
Me : Heey, how's it going!
They look at me, the guy smiles a bit, but the girl doesn't say a word.
Me : Is there anyone sitting here? No? Alriightt.
The girl looks at me very weird, then goes to her cellphone.
Me : You guys don't feel like talking? Oh well, that's fine... I understand shyness.
NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM THEM! Except for the guy that chuckled a bit.
I end up leaving my seat. Socially retarded people LOLOLOLOOOLLL!

I wanted to sit next to some hot girl, but I pussied the **** out, like completely. I just sat next to some guy, waited a while. When I saw Brandon, sat with him.

On the way out, I see some girl from high school (6) and she wants to eat with me. She gets my number and I eat with their friends later.

Sat with the new group of friends I did the other day when I was in super non-needy mode They're so cool, their energy cheered me up.

Oh my god, filmmaking class.
Terrible.
I couldn't muster up the courage to say hi to a single girl in my class. That girl would look at me twice, but I would end up NEVER ****ing talking to her. I though that probably I wasn't good enough for her.
What? I can't just say hello? Is she going to cut my throat off?

You know that first Mexican girl I talked to a long time ago? The one with the beautiful smile.
Well, I met her again at the bus stop on the way home. She wasn't looking pretty today though... She seemed so joyful to see me. We exchanged some tight hug and we talked for a while. I showed her a couple songs on my iPod, blablablablabla.

I went back home, and didn't feel like going to the concert because I have sooo many schoolwork to do. I wasn't down for it anyway. I wanted to go with Dumi with my carrot costume and that would've been really epic. Whatever XD.

Oh, girl from elementary school! I chat with her till I get to destination (she's kinda pretty but fat).

What's coming up next!
TOMORROW : Gaming with Gary and David (probably) after school at the mall where the bus stops. We'll try to game at school a bit too.
FRIDAY : Might meet up with Gary and the new winggirl (yes, a winggirl at school, pretty cool) so we can chat with girls at school more. That winggirl is that girl I talked to like the first week of school at the bus stop. She's cool.
SATURDAY : EPIC NIGHT GAME COMING UP! HALLOWEEN PARTY 16+, HELL YEAH I'M GOING TO OWN!

 

[Mindgamez]

Thursday, October 25th
Oh yeah. Cool approaches at mall after school! I love these.
And funny stuff at school LOL.

So yeah,
School was alright. It was the usual for the first class.

Then, on break, after we chatted a bit with HB Indi, I went to sit down with the asian girl from yesterday (girl from high school) and her friend.
I realized that if you just talk to girls like you talk to your guy friends, you just feel much more comfortable! They're just people after all. Getting rejected by a guy, I don't give a ****. Why do I care about girls so much? And if they aren't so pretty, why not just make friends with them?

At like 4PM, we went to the lounge near the munch box.
I remembered Julien's advice on focusing on the sub-communication. I realize that I do not run out of things to say, because what I say doesn't mean anything! As long as the sub-communication is here.
http://www.rsdnation.com/julien/blog/3-new-vids-why-so-serious-learn-right-way-flirt-women
So yeah. I saw that guy I knew sitting with some girl. I approached them and talked for a while. Actually, that girl was in my creative writing class (she's a 7, because a little fat even though cute). We talked for a while. It was fun and funny. I wasn't so nervous.

Later, Gary approaches that girl by himself. Later, I join in and talk with them. Again, I just focus on having fun and I don't think of what I say consciously. I think of the sub-communication again.
Apparently she has a boyfriend! We eject after a while.

We keep walking around and around. Gary and Porno approach some girls, but I just don't do it. Man I just can't at school, WHY!!

LOL they approach 2 girls from my high school. We talk for a while, it's kinda funny. It's funny how popular girls from my high school don't phase me as much as before.

AT THE MALL!

So yeah...
We ***** out at the beginning. I did a couple approaches and used a different kind of method. Actually, Gary was varying and using pick up lines sometimes, or just going a bit indirect. Porno was always direct.

So yeah. Porno approached that 1st set of 2 HB7.5s.
I went in, one hand on a girl's shoulder, the other one on the other one. This time, I wasn't thinking really of what to say. I would say what would come to mind, and I'd try to focus on the sub-communications. They were definitely awkward! But I just kept saying what I had to say. I kept it playful and fun, like I like to do. They eject.

LOL we see them again, and we reapproach. The problem is that we weren't coordinated and we were 3 guys to hit on the same girl (LOL!...) That was very fail... I ended up feeling awkward myself, and everyone was feeling awkward and we acknowledged it. Though, they didn't move from where they were the whole time and didn't eject. We stayed like that for a good while.
Gary went for the number. I could read their social cues, and I guessed that they weren't interested. Maybe they were just awkward? I don't know, but I didn't care about them so I didn't go for the hug. I let Gary go for it.

I see some hot girl. I approach her!
Me : Hey excuse meee! (playfully)
She turns back to me. Oh shiet she looks familiar! HB8
Me : Ohhh wait, you look familiar! Wait... what's your name?
Her : Hummm... _____?
She smiled, I did too.
Me : Oh I don't know you, but you go to my school right? You're really cute, I had to meet you!
Her : Ohhh I gotta go!
She walks away with a beautiful smile.
Me : Ohhh wait wait, I gotta talk to you!
She walks away, it's kinda funny.

LOL she's in my Philosophy class, and she sits a couple seats away from me! Let's sit right next to her next class

Epic shieet
So yeah, I walk pass by this set of two girls. One is gorgeous, HB8.5
Me : Ohhh man ,I'm can't do this I feel like a *****...
Porno : Remember what Kong said? That girl could be your next date, your next girlfriend for the next 6 months, your next wife!
Gary : Come on man!
Me : You are so damn right man, you are so damn right...
Porno : Let's go.
Me : ALRIGHT I'M GOING.

I walk to them and go with my direct opener. She smiles joyfully in awe.
Me : Will you marry me?
Gary and Porno are next to me and they encourage me LOL.
Her : Is that a dare or something?
Me : Oh no! I really wanted to talk to you because you're gorgeous. Is it because of those guys? Guys, get out for a while! I gotta talk to her!
We smile, it's fun. After a while, Gary and Porno eject. I'm left with her and her coworker.
Her : Wow, you're so upfront! This never happened to me before, ever!
Me : Ohh really? You're very beautiful though. That's so sad how guys won't approach pretty girls just because they think it's not socially acceptable at a public place.
Her : Yeah it's true!
Blablabla. We keep talking for a while, and apparently the girl is from my school too. NICE.
Me : We should exchange phone numbers and hang out sometimes during school! So what's your number?
I pull off my phone, the girl giggles.
Friend : She's not giving you her phone number!
Her : Hummm I don't know... it seems like you do that often!
Me : Ohhh whaatt? Noooo XD
Her : Haha but seriously!
Me : Yeah okay, I actually do that kinda often. Why, do I look like a player?
Honesty. I don't need to lie
Her : Well yeah you do!
Me : Oh, so you're basically saying that I'm good with girls
This line came from Kong. Thanks Kong lool.
Her : Yeah, seems like you would do that often.
Blabla
Her : We can still be friends...
Blablabla. Apparently she has a boyfriend! Ahh damn. I suggest her that we still exchange numbers and that she presents me to her cute friends. She goes Yeaah yeaahh with the smile. But she's not down for the number!
Me : I don't want to date you, I don't want to fck with you, I don't want to rape you! I just wanna be friends
Was I a bit needy here? Maybe a bit, even though I kept my joyful smile.
Blablabla. I go for the hug, she suggests a handshake instead and I just reject it. She laughs. We hug at the end.

Conclusion
- Focus on SUB-COMMUNICATION! Do not focus on the surface layer, what you logically say. You'll end up freaking out about what to say next. Think about her social cues, look into her eyes. See her react to you, keep that playfulness and just let your words go out by themselves.
- Keep it playful and fun. Guess what? Girls from Cegep are the same type of girls I randomly meet during the day. There's no difference. No matter the environment, it's still a damn fcking girl...

What's coming up next!
FRIDAY : Gaming with Gary and Winggirl during the break. Let's see what this is all about!
SATURDAY : PARTY UNTIL I COLLAPSE.
+ DAYGAME WITH GARY AND HIS NATURAL FRIENDS.
Let's own this.

 

[Mindgamez]

Damn tired and I don't feel like writing right now, but I gotta do it!

NIGHT GAME
Saturday, October 27th
Damn! A day that started off terrible ended with some good stuff I learned.
Grinding is cool, approaching at night is cool too.
I don't feel like spoiling the cool stuff. Read
Almost got into a fight with some random guy too!

So yeah,
Started the day with Gary and his friend. We wanted to approach girls, but we ended up *****ing out. THE WHOLE DAY!
Though, we went to not so crowded places just to chill with his friend. He's very very easy going and is fine with going anywhere. He enjoys anything, anything so simple.
I realized how cool he was with anything and how it made me do the same. I could appreciate the little things more. We could sit down on some rusty piece of metal and just stare at a bunch of weeds.
Him : Ohh let's sit here. This place is chill, I like it!
It's simple guys. Simply enjoy anything, everything. The little things.

1st approach of the day
Was right before leaving to the party. I approached that girl after a lot of unnecessary hesitation. Nothing happened, she wasn't interested and I wasn't either. HB7.

LOST MY WALLET.
So yeah. I started freaking the fck out. I was alone and I knew that Gary nor his friend had it. I looked everywhere, everywhere. I was turning in circles desperately.
My mood was going downhill. I was not only nervous about going to the party, but I also knew that I would make my friend wait for nothing at the metro.
Alright man, don't worry. Put on some music to pump yourself up.
I open my iPod, and it immediately closes. My iPod wouldn't work.
Music usually does a wonderful job in putting me in the mood. This time, I had to rely on myself only.
Oh damn man. I'm in deep trouble. My parents are going to kill me. I lost my wallet, and I didn't approach during the whole day. Seriously, what the hell? Why couldn't I approach at the Forever 21 store? There were a TON of women there.
I then realized that there was no point in worrying right now. Absolutely no benefits in worrying about it now.
Alright man, just stay cool. The worst things happen sometimes, and you cannot control them. Just be cool.
Forgot how to mention how tired I was. Even though I was feeling good in the morning, I was now going down.

Arrived at metro
But my friend would arrive 45 minutes later actually. I was wrong lol.
I just chilled and waited for a while for my friends to come. I managed to make my iPod work, so I chill there and listen to my music. I was feeling better this time.
I meet with my friend later, not feeling so down for the party. We wait in line behind a group of hot girls, but I really ***** out from talking to them. I just feel so much more comfortable on the dance floor for some reasons, but I don't when it comes to talking outside, especially with all those guys around.
It's GHETTO! It's a ghetto party hahaha. I'm literally the only asian guy there, or almost... I was feeling intimidated again. I was scared, even scared of getting threatened by some guys.

We go in.
The place is filled with hot girls, holy damn.

When we enter in, I see a girl from my cegep! We exchange hugs, and I meet her other asian girl friend. We talk for a while and it's fun.

I'm not going to lie. I did at least 10 approaches that resulted in rejections before getting that good one. I didn't remember all of them, but I'll mention a couple.

HB7.5 and friend.
I approached them, went a bit physical by massaging her back. She smiled and her friend too.
Though apparently the were lesbians!
It's possible, because I didn't see them grinding other guys at all.

The other approaches were a lot of rejections too.
I would go in direct, tell them that they're beautiful/hot, extend my hand for a handshake. When they would shake it back, I would kiss the hand.
Sometimes, the girls gave beautiful smiles.
Sometimes, they were TOTAL *****es!
I got beautiful smiles after I caressed their arm, back. Though, I have some question. What to do when the girl smiles a lot but still says no? She still ends up backing off, but she seemed to have a good time anyway!

Very interesting.
So I approach this girl with her friend. I really don't remember it all though. I guess that once I'm in pick up mode for real, I just forget about what happens or what happened. I simply don't care about what I exactly said word for word. Though, I remember the ones I liked.
So I approach this girl HB7.5 with her friend, going direct. The girl refuses to dance with me, but I'm fine with that. I eject the set.
Then, I see her later during the night.
Me : Ohh no not you again!
I gave a smile. I think I remember them smiling back.
Me : Get the FCK off!
I gesture with my hand for them to go away. My voice was loud and they could clearly hear me. I was totally not needy right there.
Guess what? Push Pull. The friend of the girl (she was hot too. I was down for her too) started giggling, and the girl I was going for did too. Blablabla, I couldn't understand what they told me clearly.
Me : No no no. Get the FCK off! I don't want to see you girls again!
I was loud. Then, everyone around me looked at me. I was serious here, like I wanted vengeance lool. That wasn't necessary... I just wanted them to react to me, but it maybe wasn't the right thing to do? Experiment!
The girls lost their smiles drastically. The girl I was going for got mad, and she went to me and pushed me away physically!
GUY INTERVENED.
He pushes me even more aggressively, and twice.
Guy : Hey what's your problem man? What have you done?
He was trying to be threatening and everything, but he was just as tall as me. I wasn't scared at all, surprisingly. Earlier during the day, I was scared of those guys. I'm hardened by all the previous sh1t that happened to me already.
Me : Hey man, I didn't do anything.
I didn't attempt to push him back. That would make things 10 times worse.
So I try and talk back to the girls, just to apologize (and why did I apologize? They didn't deserve it).
So they kept their *****y faces and told me to get away.

Girls with big egos... when they don't get that ego gratification, they get mad immediately!

Approached a hot girl, HB8. SURROUNDED BY 6 GUYS.
I hesitated a lot more on that set. Though, I told the guys I was with (Freddie, some cool guy I was gaming with last night game opportunity, and his friends) that I HAD to go.
The girl was taller than me, seemed a bit older too, was a blonde hottie.
So I go in, I go physical like always. She gave me a smile and said no.
THE GUY CAME. He had a poker face. He pushed me a bit.
Me : Oh heey, is that your girlfriend?
The guy nodded, said yes.
Me : Ohh well sorry about that man! Seeya.
He didn't respond, and I just ejected.
What's the purpose of this? Get rid of my fear of approaching girls with guys. Getting rid of excuses.

Approaches left and right and left and right.
I did between 10-12 of them. I lost count...

 

[Mindgamez]

Highlight.
The girl was very hot. HB8.5
It took me at least 10 failures before getting into the mode.
I open, extend my hand. She shakes it, but then I kiss her hand. She likes it and smiles.
She kept saying no but she kept the smile on her face. I kept massaging her back with my hand, getting closer. I could notice her looking away, because she was shy. Whatever, I don't know what to do, so I ejected. She was trying to back off.

I saw her again, approached her and made sure that she saw me, and I grinded her from the front. She proceeded to grind me too for 5 seconds.
She was cool with that, but she was shy and looked away, giggling.
Me : Hey, don't be shy and look at me in the eyes when I talk to you.
I take her by the chin and turn her head for her to face me. She keeps eye contact with me for a couple seconds, then breaks it shyly again.

Me : We should dance together.
Her : Ohhh noo I don't want to!
Me : I know you want to. I see it in your eyes.
Blabla, can't hear her because of the music. Whatever! Sub-communication is what matters.
Let's try something different. Be smart.
I back off a little bit, I just put my hand in front of her, palm facing up. It was just like I was inviting her to a slow dance for a wedding.
It was more elegant and less douchy. Tried playing with her mind, telling her that there's nothing wrong with that innocent dance.
She was laughing, hesitated a bit but ended up taking my hand.
At this point, I was feeling like a COMPLETE boss.
There you go. I AM attractive. I don't care about those previous 10 or so rejections, including the harsh ones. I AM the fcking man.
Nervousness was totally gone. I try and find some wall to grind her, but the WHOLE walls were filled with people grinding each other. Crazy horny ass people in there.
So I bring her to the center, grind her from the back.
A warm feeling. I literally felt my heart beating faster, feeling great.
I slide my hands on her body, side of her boobs,to her hips, her legs a bit. I would squeeze her biceps a bit. I was breathing heavier all of the sudden.
She smelled good. I brushed her hair a bit, trying to get it out from her neck so I could kiss her neck, but it kept falling back down! So I tried pushing it back again, and it fell down again LOL.
Then I noticed that I wasn't feeling horny.
Almost a month of NoFap and feeling NOTHING?! What the hell! Come on, imagine her beautiful ass. Get hard.
That was so weird. She was very hot, and I simply couldn't enjoy the fun. Can you realize that? That's stupid!
Damn, she's probably feeling my flaccid **** and wondering why I ain't hard yet. COME ON.
I attempt the kiss again after 1-2 minutes. She backs off with that smile again. Though, she really starts to walk away this time.
I manage to get her name, I tell mine, but then that's it...
AHHH NOFAP CHALLENGE FOR NOTHING?! WHAT!!!!
Maybe was I just nervous?
(Lol when I read about this part again, it makes me laugh)

So yeah... the rest of the night is more attempts to approach girls that would result in rejection again. Doesn't matter guys, doesn't matter!

And I made friends with some asian guy there (because he was asian, I just randomly talked to him LOL). He wasn't afraid to call me the next day just to chat for no particular reason. It's cool. I should do that with my friends too sometimes. It's not girly to do that.

Conclusion
- GET HORNY GUYS. It's okay to be horny. If you can't get an erection, maybe you simply are nervous. Let yourself go. No one is watching you. Just have fun. Don't care about your friends thinking you're cool because you grind that hot ass girl. Just do it for you, to be present. Have fun. Imagine how she enjoys it and gets turned on, how she's dying for you.
- EXPERIMENT STUFF! Try doing different things. You'll notice that once you start backing off sometimes, the girls come back.
- Approach groups with guys. DO NOT fear conflict with other guys and just be cool about it. You won't get into a fight if you don't attack back, trust me.
- Ghetto parties? Hell yeah, go to them. Put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable.

Sunday, October 28th
One approach. My high school friend was next to me!

So yeah,
DAMN it took me so much more willpower this time. Because I was teased on about my pick up things earlier, I didn't wanted to risk approaching in front of all of them. We split off and I was with that friend (my neighbour).

After like 10 minutes of *****ing out in the metro, I finally approach that girl with her friend! HB8 and HB7.
Nothing interesting really happens. I made them laugh and I made myself laugh too at times.
Though, I got ****blocked by my friend a couple times, him saying to me how they really weren't interested and how I was acting stupid. I lost state because of him, but I don't blame him.

He couldn't believe that I did that! Hahahaha.

Though, there's a big problem.
I am too influenced by my friends' opinion about pick up. Since I never got the date yet, they tease me about it. And when they do, I find myself losing my mood to approach girls.
Well fck them.
I have to be my own man and stand for myself. Why do I lie to them? It's not true that I do that simply because I find it funny. Not true that I don't take it seriously at all. Not true that I only did it a couple of times. I did it around 150 times already.
Yes. I had a LOT of rejections. I didn't have a girlfriend since years.
I take personal development with heart. Reaching peace of mind, happiness and supreme confidence is my life's biggest goal. And I'll reach it.
Fck their opinion! I'll just do whatever I want. I gotta put my ego aside.
Next time when I hang out with them, I'll do what I have to do. I skipped a set of HB9s eating at the restaurant today.

What's coming up next!
I don't know. I have to sleep more. I'm DEAD tired.
Oh yeah! Next philosophy class, I sit next to the girl I approached at the mall the other day. Then, I sit next to that girl I talked to the other day in Creative Writing. We'll see how it goes later.

I simply cannot sleep in regular patterns... I simply cannot... DAMN I MUST.

 

[Mindgamez]

AHHH 2 WEEKS OF JOURNAL I HAVE TO CATCH UP...
Oh my god. I was too busy with school, and then I was lazy to write in my journal again. Well guess what? I HAVE to start writing in this journal again.
I won't go deep into details, because it would take years.

BY THE WAY, 39 DAYS OF NO FAP TODAY.

Basically, went to 2 parties and being drunk allowed me to go physical, socialized at school again, did some approaches at the mall (with the harshest **** tests ever... I'm still feeling affected by them somehow, how bad...).

Tuesday, October 30th
This day at school was okay, if I remember.

The good part was at the end of the day.
I remember going to the bus stop from my school, and then I saw some guy from my class.
I go next to him playfully and tell him Heeey what's up? He turns to me, looks at me weird for some reason. I don't quite remember if he smiled or not.
Girl behind me : Hey, he doesn't know you!
Me : Ohhh yeah he does, he's in my class!
Blablabla, I get distracted by some guy (I think it was Kevin) that was behind me. We talk, and then I eject to get back to the same guy.
This time, he was acting like a ***** and ignoring me...
Girl : Ohh, I think you're creeping him out!
The girl was with another girl and a guy. They seemed chill, and I was totally chill too for some reason. Feeling absolutely natural, no problem.
Me : Oh hell no, he's my friend!
Girl : Haha, I'm not quite sure if he wants to be your friend.
Me : It doesn't matter, you guys are my new friends now.
SO we laugh a bit, the guy acts like an ass and asks me if I'm hitting on him. The girls around start laughing, but I stay unphased. What a good and chill feeling...
Girl : Wait, what's your name?
Me : Ohhh why do you wanna know my name?
Can't remember what was said.
Me : Because I'm handsome?
Girl : Yeaahh
She laughs, the other girl goes : Ohhhh booyyy...
Me : Well, my name is... oh wait what's your name?
Girl : I have no name
Blablabla, it's pretty much non-sense. I should've told my name simply.
Later, friend from high school comes in and I start talking to her the whole time, and ***** out from talking to that girl from last time. Ahhhhh... whatever.
So yeah, we go in the bus, I talk to high school buddy, and then I don't have the opportunity to say goodbye to the other girl. She's already gone.

My problem
- I QUIT WHEN THINGS ARE GOING GOOD. WHAT THE FCK.

Wednesday, October 31st
OH **** it was actually pretty dope that day, even though I was mostly feeling out of it.

So I enter my first class. I don't have my costume yet. So I put it on!
Teacher : OHHH, THERE'S A CARROT IN MY CLASS!
And yeah, people start laughing and telling me that my costume is hilarious. I was Carrot Man.

So yeah. I walked around school and smiled at people that were looking at me. There was this gorgeous girl that smiled at me, and I pussied out from approaching...

There was a Flash Mob in the middle of the agora! Guess what? I RANDOMLY joined in and danced in the middle of everything. It was totally random, there was maybe like 80 people or so watching. I felt like a boss.

Then, there was the costume contest. When they called for my costume name. I danced in the middle and rolled on the ground, while the others would simply wave or stand still. I was feeling like a boss again, but a bit stupid too XD. I didn't win, but whatever.

Then after school, Gary approaches a couple of random girls and ask them if they want to meet Carrot man (lol XD). They disagree and walk off most of the time. I was too much of a ***** to do anything. Whatever, doing ridiculous things was still badass. I managed to talk to some new people too.

Thursday, November 1st
I can't quite remember.

Friday, November 2nd
While we were getting ready to film for our action scene, HB Lau came.
We were eating peacefully, but my friends were done so they went to the shooting place. HB Lau stayed here and we talked one on one. Damn I want to flirt with her but she has a boyfriend damnit! Lol...

Whatever. I don't go to breakdance after school because I'm too tired. I go home and take a nap, and meditate too.

PARTY
At high school friend's house. At first, I'm feeling a bit awkward, but I start off the evening by saying hello to everyone and introducing myself. There wasn't a lot of people at first... It took time for people to arrive.
In the end, we were maybe like 15-20 people, which is pretty good. Pretty much people I knew, and I was nervous at first. Though, I managed to have a lot of fun and meet a bunch of new people. I mostly connected with the guys out there... it's always easier.
I caught that girl looking at me and smiling, but I didn't go for her. There's some days when I simply can't do it, it's so annoying...
I meet this French girl, she's cool. At a point, I was feeling natural and talking to girls felt the same as talking to guys : I was as comfortable. Though, I can't keep that comfort when flirting comes for some reasons.

 

[Mindgamez]

So yeah, the party was fun. I talked a lot and I realized how when I'm feeling natural, I'm naturally funny. My jokes are well timed and at the right moment, and people find me funny. When I'm not feeling as good, my jokes simply don't work at all. It's so weird... Sometimes, what you say ain't even funny, but people laugh anyway. Sometimes, you say the best joke and nobody cares.

Whatever. I don't even add them on facebook or anything... I forget to do so.
Though, there's that girl (a 6.5, because she's a bit large) that added me. She's chill but meh...

Saturday, November 3nd
PARTY!
Drunk gaming for the first time. Drunk but FOR REAL this time.
WEnt physical with some HB9, damn she was hot. I went physical with a lot of girls actually. I was SHAMELESS. I was super confident. But why? All because of alcohol...

So yeah
Before going at the party, I meditate first. I was nervous as fck to be honest. I was hesitating to go to that party.

WHATEVER. I FCKING WENT.

I arrive there, pretty nervous to be honest. I don't introduce myself to the girls there, because I was feeling like a *****. I literally knew almost no one! Except for 2-3 guys. But yeah, I kept drinking and drinking...

I played beerpong with that guy Kevin. Damn he's so fcking awesome.

I started feeling dizzy. When I was moving, it took my brain one second of delay to register that I was actually moving at times. I literally asked myself if I was dreaming, and I believed for a second that I was dreaming for real LOL.
And guess what?

I approached half the girls at the party, which means like between 5-10 of them LOL.

I was going in by directly introducing myself to the girl. I would shake the hand, and directly kiss the girl's hand. I was shameless, full confidence, but the girl knew that I was drunk. All of them knew... That's why they backed off, and let's not forget how I was acting like a ***** at the beginning of the night. I approached a couple of times, and it ended in a rejection most of the time, or I would just eject by assuming that they weren't interested.

At some point, I had to sit down and stop moving, because I really was feeling dizzy. Not to the point of puking, hopefully. I do not want to reach that point.

HB9
I go up to her and introduce myself directly. I take her hand kiss it, and I put one hand on her back.
Me : Heey, I really have to tell you. You are really sexy.
She smiles back, damn I was horny.
I put my hands on her back, on her hips actually. I think I touched her butt at bit from time to time. I was very close and our crotches were literally touching. I remember.
Was that too quick??? She was smiling and everything, though friends were right next to us...

Let's not forget that I attempted the kiss, but she backed off. With a smile still!
Then she walked away, so I talked to her friend and proceeded to flirt very openly to her. She was a 8-8.5.
Then I realized that I was hitting on anybody, and HB9 probably sensed it. Every girl probably sensed it!

INTERESTING!
I didn't know that she was lesbian until the end of the night LOL.
So yeah. I was flirting with one of her friends at the beginning of the night. Then, she ****blocked me and told me to back off.
Blablablabla. Later that night, I see her dancing on the *dance floor*. I join in, and she tells me to fck off again. I just keep having fun, I tell her that I'm sorry for calling her a b1tch earlier during the night, and she literally kicks my nuts!
WHAT A B1TCH! At least it wasn't so hard.
So later, I go to the washroom. When I get out, she's still here, on the dancefloor.
She tells me to fck off again.
What? There's no way I'm following orders by that little b1tch. I'm going to do what I want to do.
Friend : Get off, she doesn't want you! You understand?
Oh yeah I understood. I didn't want to get her. I just wanted to stay were I was at.
So the girl went to me, took me by the shirt and started pushing me like she was threatening me for a fight.
EVERYONE looked at us, me innocent, and just getting attacked by this girl. Someone intervened and stopped everything. Truth is that I didn't do anything. I was **** testing her (lol XD). I wasn't so reactive to her ****, until she started attacking I was like OH **** she's mad...

So yeah, whatever.
The night was pretty chill. I met a lot of people, exchanged some names half of them I all forgot.
No real good connections with girls to be honest. More with guys, as usual it's easy to make friends with guys...

And the HB9 actually ended up the night with Brandon or something, I think.

Conclusion
- I will not ever game again drunk. Maybe a bit tipsy is fine, but not to the point where it starts to go out of control.
- In a group, I GOTTA isolate the girl. One on one...
- Parties are cool. Yeah, never hesitate to go to a party! Always go to them.
- I must talk to girls more. Go deeper and not be afraid to close. I simply can't do it with girls sometimes, damn.


SO YEAH.
The other FRs I'll write them tomorrow or Monday, because there's way too much to write about in one evening...
Seeya guys soon.

 

[Mindgamez]

Summary of the past week or so
I've been stalling a LOT to be honest. I don't really feel like I'm progressing any further in the game.
I'm feeling unmotivated and down these days. Can I say depressed? I don't know if saying that I'm depressed is a bit too much or not, but I think that it's fine.
I feel like I'm not confident around anyone.
So in class, I failed to talk to girls several times. I did chat with Niya a couple of times, we chilled on break at the cafeteria a bit. It was nice and fun. Though, next day, I see her in the hallway and I LITERALLY ***** out from asking her to hang out a bit with us. I was with Porno, she walks by. We chat a bit. I'm feeling nervous and seeing her totally relaxed made me feel pathetic. Well she walks away, and I feel like I've ruined everything.
In the hallways, sometimes I see girls from my classrooms or girls I already know just a little bit, but I don't muster up the courage to talk to them because I'm basically feeling like crap.

It's the downward spiral I guess. The more I stay in inaction, the worse it gets.

Even though it's been 48 DAYS without fapping, I don't feel any surge of energy going through my body to motivate me to take action.
I've started drinking green drinks like Tyler does. It does help a bit, but not that much.
Maybe I really should start working out. For real this time.

November 8th, worst **** test ever
So yeah,
I approached this group of 5 girls at the mall(after Gary went in first), and it was going okay. It was funny at first. After a while, they eject. I see them later on the couch and sit right next to the prettiest girl. I kiss her hand
I was feeling alright, until the other girl (she was pretty, until she started acting like a COMPLETE b1tch) started saying a lot of crap.

That I didn't know how to flirt at all.
That to hit on high school girls while on cegep, we have to have no friends and be very desperate.
She said so much more, but I promised myself to just endure all her bullsh1t because that is what men ****ing do. They go through whatever pain has to happen. It was basically b1tching after b1tching for 10-20 minutes, and I can't believe that I stayed that long.
Guess what? I let her won. I really thought that she was right for a moment.

For a while, I felt like everything that I was doing was going nowhere.
I see my friends that used to be chody get girlfriends, and me, the guy that always talks about picking up chicks, didn't get a single date yet. How depressing is that.

November 15th, I get the girl's number
So yeah,
It was at the mall though. After another sh1t test (or whatever you want to call it), I feel really bad again. My friends actually approached 23 year olds and approached another set of women right in front of them. The 23 year olds look back at us, and that girl screams : Hey! What's your number? 911?
She kept a totally serious face, and it made me shiver. Her friends were laughing in the background. So I back off.
Me : Heeyy, man we gotta be careful. Ahhh fck it...
My voice was quiet.
Porno : What?
I walk off a bit and I see a tall girl entering a store. HB7.5
Porno forces me to go in, but I refuse at first because it's a girl's store. I end up going in after a while of lingering around.

The conversation was awkward. I noticed how when I felt comfortable, she felt comfortable too and how when I felt awkward, she was awkward as fck too. She was definitely nervous because she would stammer sometimes (listened to the recording of it again LOL). And yeah, it was a fun convo. Kind of. It actually went a lot better than I though, and I managed to make her blush and laugh a lot.
She was wearing a leopard hat and I would tease her about it and play with it. She giggled again.
I get her number near the end (listened to the recording and realized that my voice got weaker when I asked for it). She was a little bit hesitant, but that's still good.
She gave me a tight hug and we exchange goodbyes.

Me : It's Mindgamez! Keep this number with care
Her : Hahah ok

2 days later (each texts separated with 20 mins to 1 hour between)
Me : *name* with the tiger hat
Her : Leopard !!
Me : Tiger!
Her : LEOPARD!!!!!
Me : Rawr (;
Her : Ahaahah grrrrr
Me : Tiger I call you tomorrow at 1, stay tuned
Her : I'm busy the afternoon its better the morning
Me : Forget it, the evening then!
Her : I work until 10:30

Today,
Another 2 days later...
I though that because she was busy working, I should wait the next day. Truth is that I should've called her THE SAME FCKING DAY and continue the conversation further.

I wanted to call her when I came back home at 12:00, but I was SO NERVOUS for some reasons.
The first few minutes, I check out some Simple Pickup articles about how to call the girl and check some videos to reassure me.
Then, I wander around my room for LITERALLY 20 minutes. I just walk around and walk around, try and practice my conversation like a script.
Then, I try to do meditation for 5 minutes but it simply does not work.
I press the call button. As I hear the riinnnnggg, my heart starts beating twice as fast. After like 30-40 seconds or so, I know that she won't pick up the phone because she's not here, so I hung up.

I text her

Me : Text me when you're here

Oh why did I say WHEN YOU'RE HERE? It gives her the option to not ever be here. Next time I'll say something like : Text me now and don't be shy!
Whatever. I still pressed the call button and that's alright.

LOL that's actually pretty funny. I can't believe that it took me so fcking long.
Damn I'm going backwards... whatever.

Conclusion
I'm still feeling bad after writing about all of that. I hope that I'll get out of this pit somehow.
I know that the way of curing this is to start taking action again and give no excuses. I know, easier said than done. But I'll have to do it.
I must forget about all those words they threw at me. Those b1tches don't know anything and aren't worth my time.
Rejections? Alright. I'll just keep going.
I CARE TOO FCKING MUCH ABOUT MY REPUTATION. EGO EGO EGO.
I'm mad. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm simply very mad at myself, because it's all my fault after all. I have to admit that my inaction is because of me. Not because of those b1tches. I accepted to get influenced by them, which lead to here.

Never.

Ever.

Again.

I don't need any fvcking pity. I'm not a whiny little fvcker.
COME ON. 2012. I'LL END THIS RIGHT. COME ON!

I was meant to be great. I promised myself to become the best man I can be. There's no way I'm turning back. There's no way I'm going backwards. Oh what the fck is with me thinking negatively? It's over now.

I promise. ARGGHH LET'S GO!!!