Jesse Pinkman's approach/field reports thread.

[nicksaiz65]

It kind of gets me now why most users prefer to talk theory and debate the non-actionable parts of game rather than post field reports. You make yourself very vulnerable when you post field reports and an easy target. At times, I have thought of only sharing the highlights or only bumping this thread if I get laid and nothing else. However, if I did that, I would not give you the real look into the journey of cold approaching and game.

Could I only post the nights I get laid? Perhaps but then this would be a lay report thread.

Maybe I was foolish to post this field reports thread and at times I do wonder that. I made myself quite vulnerable and really left myself open as an easy target.

But if not for everyone else, its for me. I want something to look back on when I do make it because I know I will. When I look back on the progress I have made from where I started, I am proud. I used to shake at the idea of talking to a hot girl at a bar, now I can do it with ease. I used to get approach anxiety through the roof, now it is gone and I have gotten laid from daygame.

Even though the wins do not line up, the process, what I have built in my life, and the growth has been unreal. Unfortunately, it came off of a lot of losses. Maybe I should have kept the losses to myself.

I’ll second @SW15 here, I really enjoy how you leave in the rejections and nights you don’t pull. Imo it’s a more realistic view of game and what goes into it than just a highlight reel.

 

[SW15]

I’ll second @SW15 here, I really enjoy how you leave in the rejections and nights you don’t pull. Imo it’s a more realistic view of game and what goes into it than just a highlight reel.

Both @Jesse Pinkman and @nicksaiz65 have done realistic viewpoints into what life is like as an approacher. It's factual and realistic. People need to know how challenging attraction and seduction are.

My style is that I tend to draw upon nearly 25 years in the mating environment. I might cover 5-10 years of approaches in a single sentence. For instance, when I mention that I spent the 2000s mainly focused on night game (off campus parties at apartment complexes in colleges and nightlife venues after turning 21), that's 10 years in a sentence. There's no way at this point I can remember every single approach that I did on a night in 2005. What I can remember is general events of what happened over a certain period of time. I can also remember how I felt at moments in time. I like to point out how multiple approaches and how multiple approach sessions have gone.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I keep repeating it too @SW15 and @nicksaiz65 its not just about how tough seduction and game are, it is also about how as men, we get in our own ways so often without even realizing the extent to which we are. I see it commonly on this board but I have seen it with so many guys I have winged with before I realized the amount of work I had to do to even get to a decent level.

1. Toxic beliefs/Black Pill/Bitterness towards women, just an inferior view of yourself too but just major inner game issues. Most guys never get these resolved but just go out spam approaching anything that moves. If not that, then being in your head the whole time and not approaching at all.

2. Lack of social skills and lack of how to interact with people in general. I have seen it so much in the pickup community where dudes will come off as openly disrespectful in a low value way towards a wing, leeching value or just show some clear lack of awareness in social norms. This is unfortunately hard to coach out after a certain age. It gets worse when you wing with guys just as weird as you.

3. Half-hearted or weak game towards women. Like constantly opening with a "hi ur cute" just to get the volume in.

4. "Warming up" by talking to fat ugly girls and wasting the whole night in those kinds of sets. Like why? I don't get it. It is a waste of time.

5. Not resolving life first, such as living far away from the city because they cannot afford to live in the city and driving 1+ hr each weekend just to go "sarge". Like bro, fix that part of your life first. If you are unemployed without a ton of savings, you cannot prioritize game. Even when I was out of a job, I had a lot of saved up and was still bringing in money from the supplemental income side (in before Billypilgrim joke).

5 is tough because as I learned, life happens and that gets in the way of game.

6. Not having a gameplan for the night. What if the opener is good? How do you move the set? Where do you move them to? What is your actual plan to close for the night?

I can go on and I likely missed some key ones. It is just what I have learned in my time in the game. I feel like ever since starting, there is more I had to get rid of clean up rather than get right.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Look man, they do help.

I ran out to the local corner store 1hr ago to grab some beer. It has been raining steady for 2 days so I was suffering from cabin fever and laser focused on getting in, getting what I wanted and getting out.

Cute girl (probably 22-23) in a mini skirt in the first aisle (cute enough if you know what I mean) flashes me a big, genuine smile. No response from me.

I move over two aisles looking for other items. Same girl, SAME reaction from her. I'm totally oblivious because I'm not in the zone to consider anyone I encounter as an option.

Go to the counter to pay and she stands behind me as I chat up the cashier for 30 secs in an animated fashion.

it's not until I get OUTSIDE that I realize I should have at least said something. It was probably nothing but by not even saying "hey" it was guaranteed to stay that way. You don't make any of the baskets you don't try.

That's why FRs do matter.

That is easily me on a lot of days. I feel like I need to change now with daygame. I used to treat it as a targeted session and still do. However, I am also naturally a slacker and when I am doing my usual tasks that have me going out, I am not dressed the best. I feel like I can be doing a lot there but I do not.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Absolutely not. Seeing the ins and outs of doing cold approaching is valuable to the community at large. Approaching strangers is a labor intensive process. You have detailed the process better than most would have. People need to see that for the wins, there are a lot of losses involved.

You can tell a newbie apart from an advanced guy with one trick, advanced guys approach a lot less. They are naturally good in their heads at disqualifying an approach so they don't waste time. Newbies who are purely green will spam approach so they can show that they are "taking action". Pure newbies will get approach anxiety. However, advanced guys are so methodical in their approaches that they can read the situation fast and go for the approach.

It is like there are subtle things you can look for and advanced guys are good at immediately reading them and going for it. Advanced men know which kinds of women want to get approached and which ones are maybes at best. They spend their time doing less approaches but their approaches go for longer because they have read the situation so well.

 

[obelisk]

What aspects of your game can you now A/B test? You need to determine what you can tweak and measure against for real effectiveness vs what you think is best to generate results.

 

[SW15]

advanced guys are so methodical in their approaches that they can read the situation fast and go for the approach.

It is like there are subtle things you can look for and advanced guys are good at immediately reading them and going for it. Advanced men know which kinds of women want to get approached and which ones are maybes at best. They spend their time doing less approaches but their approaches go for longer because they have read the situation so well.

The problem is that most approaches are maybes at best for most men. This is part of why cold approaching is a major effort. It is inefficient because most women aren't interested in being opened for whatever reason at a given time.

 

[Vero Della Rosa]

2. Old me would not have been able to make friends with locals in a city and have weekends where he chills on a boat with them and some hot girls, new me did.

What're the most effective ways you've found to meet locals/friends?

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

What aspects of your game can you now A/B test? You need to determine what you can tweak and measure against for real effectiveness vs what you think is best to generate results.

Quite a few things but some that come to mind are

1. Higher volume of approaches vs lower volume in terms of results on a given night

2. The length of the set vs. how far it goes if I get a number

3. Importance of asking for compliance (moving girls around) to see how serious a set is vs. not asking for compliance at all

4. Teasing/strong frame openers vs. direct openers and compliments in how long a set goes

5. Getting to a venue earlier and approaching earlier vs. getting to a venue later and approaching later

Those are some of the things I am measuring.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

The problem is that most approaches are maybes at best for most men. This is part of why cold approaching is a major effort. It is inefficient because most women aren't interested in being opened for whatever reason at a given time.

I hold the theory that when you go to a bar or even do any form of cold approach game, about 20% of the women are actually available. By that I mean single and actually a realistic opportunity. When I say 20%, I am actually being generous. I have looked at sessions where I did a ton of cold approaches and those where I did little. I have also observed how advanced guys do it versus how newbies do it. My life has been a sh1tshow but is calming down more in 2023 and Miami is finally picking back up as a city so I should finally get the momentum to implement some of the new things I have learned.

Going back to it, the best guys who actually get results focus on those 20% of women. Newbies spam everything. When you start to look out more for the indirect signs and focus on quality and efficiency over quantity, you get longer sets. When you get longer sets, you can potentially get more compliance. When you get more compliance, you are likely to get laid.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

What're the most effective ways you've found to meet locals/friends?

I love this question.

Mental, emotional, and social abundance yourself or if you cannot do the last part, giving off the image of the last part. In Miami, the locals are not that friendly. However, I went out to my usual spot and was in line at the bar behind this guy. All I said was that he should not be paying that much for shots. We make small talk and then after that, I talk to a group of women next to us. That alone made me someone who is useful and that made the guy want to befriend me as a local.

In other words, they have to know that they can get some value from you. A key aspect of cold approaching is that 90% of dudes at the bar will not do it right and build rapport with the women in a way that the girl wants to interact with the guy. Most PUA guys will come off as socially weird and spammy. You have to be able to make small talk like a normal person and provide value in the sense that people know that you have something to provide in their group.

My advantage is that I can get girls to come to a table or to our group after a while. That makes me valuable to guys who cannot cold approach.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I’ll second @SW15 here, I really enjoy how you leave in the rejections and nights you don’t pull. Imo it’s a more realistic view of game and what goes into it than just a highlight reel.

Its not just that, it is also how so many dudes will turn on you in a community like this or start trying to be coaches or give you life advice ("bleh get a girlfriend!") when you all you want to do is learn the game, improve, meet lots of women, and get with lots of women. I used to wonder why only you and I were the main guys posting a field report and updating it but now, I kind of get it. If people do not see you getting laid like crazy every field report, they are going to come down at you or make you feel like crap for approaching.

The thing is, I genuinely enjoy this now. I feel like it has become a game for me and I love how tough it is. I love how I am in a very competitive market full of some of the pickiest women that will test you more than anything. Maybe it is my background in sports but I love going back to the drawing board, game planning, and then applying the said changes. It makes me almost feel like a coach for a sports team in some ways lol.

I feel like you have to enjoy this whole thing in order to last this long and most guys simply won't get it.

The best part is that Miami is FINALLY alive again after being dead for an entire summer. I am not joking when I say that if you went anywhere other than LIV, it was a ghost town. I went out on weekends where Wynnwood was completely empty.

What excites me is that as volume picks up in Miami, I finally get to play the actual game again and apply some changes.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

9/25/23 - A Monday Surprise

Out of the blue hangout.

post30.substack.com

9/25/23 - A Monday Surprise

Lately, I have been becoming friends with Rob who you may have read about in some of my recent posts. On Monday, Rob tells me about a couple of venues that he wants to check out for Happy Hour because his friend told him about them. I thought about it and went right with it, why not?

Rob and I arrive in The Grove where we check out our first rooftop venue, it was relatively dead. I ended up walking around the area with Rob who decided to fire off a few cold approaches. While I admire Rob’s desire to get good with game, I have started to somewhat loathe spam approaching and doing high volume with daygame.

Due to caving into the pressure, I do approach this two-set of rude women, one blonde which was hideously ugly and the other brunette who you would get with after only a few shots. I end up getting a rude rejection.

We were originally set to go check out Happy Hour venues but Rob is becoming the typical PUA guy approaching as many sets as he can. I want to be careful with how I judge Rob as he does seem like a relatively good dude with a good head on his shoulders. Meanwhile, I am getting a bit irritated at the fact that we cannot check out the Happy Hour venues because Rob is being some approach monkey.

Rob has only been in the game for under a year and has likely listened to a lot of PUA content. I go into another venue with Rob and I get a couple of drinks since it is Happy Hour. We notice a set he wanted to approach and I make some small talk with the bartender. The set, which has two white women, notices and one brunette in the hat comments. Rob is in the bathroom and when he comes back, we chat with the women but they are both married.

We then notice a four set behind us in this bar and I open, rather unsuccessfully. I was a bit thrown off by the Monday because of some of Rob’s antics on just cold approaching like crazy when we were set to check out the venues. While Rob is a good dude, I know I have to get the PUA Monkey behavior out of him before he ends up miserable, sexless, and can’t get results anymore.

We leave the venue and walk around a bit. I tell Rob about how we need to go about our business rather than being Approach Monkeys that are just there to do sets. Not long after, I see a two-set across the street and I walk over their way. One is a hot blonde and the other a cute redhead.

I open indirectly, asking them if The Grove is really that great on Mondays as it is now. We make some small talk, they are both locals who went to University outside of Miami. I tease them a bit for it and then Rob jumps into the set. We chatted with this set for a solid 10 minutes but I asked for their IGs halfway which they give. I start asking about the venues and they give us some pointers.

Rob is out of this set for most of the time and I carry on the conversation. At one point, we get into an awkward conversation around whether Virginia is the south. The blonde says it was the home of the Confederacy. Here is where it gets awkward, I am proud she knew her history about Virginia being a southern state so I high five her but she took it as us rooting for the Confederacy, awkward move! I save myself and explain what I meant.

We chat about life in NYC and they both say they lived in Brooklyn, which I tease them for. In all, I did not establish enough sexual chemistry and all I got were IGs that will not go anywhere. Rob did a few more sets, including a two set I awkwardly entered and ruined for the guy but I will fix that for him in the future.

All in all, a Monday surprise indeed but sometimes, I am glad I get to see someone else do game so I can realize what I am doing right and what I can potentially be doing wrong. For Tuesday and Wednesday, I plan to take some serious time off of game.

 

[SW15]

I hold the theory that when you go to a bar or even do any form of cold approach game, about 20% of the women are actually available. By that I mean single and actually a realistic opportunity. When I say 20%, I am actually being generous. I have looked at sessions where I did a ton of cold approaches and those where I did little. I have also observed how advanced guys do it versus how newbies do it. My life has been a sh1tshow but is calming down more in 2023 and Miami is finally picking back up as a city so I should finally get the momentum to implement some of the new things I have learned.

Going back to it, the best guys who actually get results focus on those 20% of women. Newbies spam everything. When you start to look out more for the indirect signs and focus on quality and efficiency over quantity, you get longer sets. When you get longer sets, you can potentially get more compliance. When you get more compliance, you are likely to get laid.

My experiences in the field reflect what you describe and I agree that 20% seems generous there. It's part of the inefficiency of cold approach.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

My experiences in the field reflect what you describe and I agree that 20% seems generous there. It's part of the inefficiency of cold approach.

I would not say that cold approach is inefficient when done right. I know someone can look at this thread and laugh at that but I think that the advanced guys who know their stuff do it right. My theory is that most nights when you go out to an active venue, things can happen. While 80% of the women are out of the question, around 10 to 20% are there to meet a cool guy they click with and go home with that guy. The advanced guys who get results have figured this out. In my successful nights, I figured this out. Newer guys have not figured this out and just spam the whole bar.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I also wanted to let others know that as of last week, I started my own private chat with about 20 or so members in it. It is strictly field reports oriented so no theory talk or any of that stuff. I am looking to slowly build it overtime. In just a week being live, the chat has inspired a number of guys to get out there, take action, post field reports, and share some of their success stories.

The chat also has a few successful guys who have 100+ matches on all the major apps and are getting serious results from them, some are good at cold approach and others at social circle game. We do have at least 5 guys who get laid quite frequently and are at a very advanced level, some of them offer coaching at times.

We do not judge our members, we make members feel welcome, and support them in their game goal as they are out there taking action and making it work. I am thinking some guys on here can benefit from such a chat but tbh, I am trying to vet as carefully as I can. I have turned away more members than I have taken in tbh but I know we need to expand overtime for the chat to be active.

If you are someone who is out there cold approaching, has decent social skills, and likes to be a part of a community where guys like you lift each other up, DM me.

I cannot promise I will admit you but I am interested in doing some interviews to see who is like-minded

 

[SW15]

Newer guys have not figured this out and just spam the whole bar.

It's definitely not worth spamming the whole bar or spamming a park or walking path.

Spam approaching has a high burnout rate.

I would not say that cold approach is inefficient when done right. I know someone can look at this thread and laugh at that but I think that the advanced guys who know their stuff do it right. My theory is that most nights when you go out to an active venue, things can happen. While 80% of the women are out of the question, around 10 to 20% are there to meet a cool guy they click with and go home with that guy. The advanced guys who get results have figured this out. In my successful nights, I figured this out.

Let's use the nightlife example. There have been nights I've gone out to bars where there were no approachable targets. This means that the bar I selected that night contained all women that were a part of the 80-90% that isn't open to meeting new men. They might not be open for a variety of reasons. In that night, I might have done 0-1 approaches so I wasn't officially taking a lot of rejections, but I also wasn't making any progress. I've seen that night I described happen many times over the course of my approaching. That's an inefficient night, even I didn't take direct rejections.

I can think of days where I went out and daygamed and saw no approachable targets as well.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I also wanted to let others know that as of last week, I started my own private chat with about 20 or so members in it. It is strictly field reports oriented so no theory talk or any of that stuff. I am looking to slowly build it overtime. In just a week being live, the chat has inspired a number of guys to get out there, take action, post field reports, and share some of their success stories.

Excellent job, Jesse.

 

[mikedee]

@Jesse Pinkman

How old are you Jesse?

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Let's use the nightlife example. There have been nights I've gone out to bars where there were no approachable targets. This means that the bar I selected that night contained all women that were a part of the 80-90% that isn't open to meeting new men. They might not be open for a variety of reasons. In that night, I might have done 0-1 approaches so I wasn't officially taking a lot of rejections, but I also wasn't making any progress. I've seen that night I described happen many times over the course of my approaching. That's an inefficient night, even I didn't take direct rejections.

I can think of days where I went out and daygamed and saw no approachable targets as well.

You just described my summer in Miami lol. Super dead venues that had like 5 people in them max on some nights or were mostly dudes. Also, approachable targets can vary as you get advanced. When I was newer to game, I never approached mixed sets. Now, if I really like the girl, I will open with a "you all seem like a cool group of people, how do you all know each other?". If the guys are her boyfriend, they will let you know. If not, it will become obvious.