Is there any solution? I feel like there's no good answer for me. It's all a mess

[BergischerLöwe]

Ya lucky we'll never meet in person because I heard I have a vicious right slap that wakes MF's up when they refuse to wake up and do what must be done..


I am being as nice as I possibly can ..

I mean I get that I might be pretty dramatic in this thread but idk how else to convey the level of frustration I feel

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Yes, I was intending to mention NMMNG by Dr. Glover, or at least to watch some of his interviews and presentations on YouTube and specifically to his conversation about “walking through open doors”.



I’m somewhat empathetic to your situation, but I cannot help but think how immature you sound from this statement. That’s not intended as a put down!

You’re an average-looking guy, not rich, not high-status, you state you “got with” ordinary, slightly overweight women (which actually means DID get aroused by them) who have good qualities, yet you are stating such women are of “lower quality” simply because they are not as pretty as stranger women on the street and wonder how other stranger men got them.

How do you know these prettier, stranger women on the street are “higher quality” (which you haven’t defined)? Did you live with them? Have you even spoken to them? How do you know these women will be a picnic to deal with in your live-happily-ever-after-in-the-boondocks goal? Have you ever even thought of what goes into living with a woman and how her looks might not factor into any of her obligations in cohabitating with you?

I guess you haven’t given thought to any of this. And you being cooped up with the lives of other men, the uglier ones who you also don’t know a damn thing about, is immature. And it seems as even though you HAVE been attracted to “lower quality” women (determined ONLY by their looks) despite you saying you weren’t (how would would you be aroused), you want beautiful women solely to feel better and impress others when out and about? This reminds of a goofy high-school student who thinks dealing with a hot woman is going to be one barrel of fun—because she’s hot!

So, define “quality”. If you don’t mind, tell why the chubby women with desirable qualities you WERE aroused by cannot fit into your long-term goal but prettier ones can solely because they’re pretty.

As for the “uglier guys” you keep mentioning, did you ever think of the possible reasons why these men have women? That you wonder why they have them shows immaturity and lack of understanding of social dynamics and people.

Again, I don’t mean this as an insult. With such lack of social acuity, immaturity, and wanting to be with a woman for looks first and foremost, I’d advise women to stay away from such a man with your long-term goal until he gets his thinking straightened out.

Yeah it is true that I was aroused by these women for the most part but I didn't really see it going long term. Most of these girls were indeed slightly overweight and now that I think about it I've only hooked up with one girl who could be truly described as "fat" in the actual sense of that term, but that was out of desperation back when I was still a virgin and we didn't have full on sex. That one I wasn't actually attracted to very much, I was just desperate and she was really into me. That one would not have been good for a relationship, especially since her beliefs were SJW-adjacent. I had to hide my actual beliefs from her. Also I hid from her the fact that I wasn't very attracted to her at all. I think that's truly the only time where I was with someone that didn't actually turn me on. A few years later tho I looked up that same girl on social media and she's since lost a very significant amount of weight. A couple others that I was with that were kinda chubby when I got with them have also lost weight, at least from what I can extrapolate from social media. I too didn't have as good of a physique back when I met these girls either, I'd say I'm more attractive now than I ever have been.

Really I just think that a slightly hotter girl would keep me interested for longer. As I've said I'm not looking for instagram models. By "hotter than I'm usually used to getting", as I've put it, I mean women that have a reasonably pretty face but a nicer body than what I'm used to. Still the point stands that someone can lose weight if they're carrying a few extra pounds. I myself am still working on losing bodyfat and particularly in the past few weeks I've seen it get better. I bought an ebike back in June and I ride it around everywhere and avoid taking my car as much as possible. I didn't do much cardio before that but now because of this I'm getting my cardio in anyway anytime I have to go somewhere within 10 miles from my house. So I'll keep doing that and I'll keep losing fat.

Maybe there is a certain irony in me criticizing these women for being slightly overweight since I've fit that description myself for the better part of the decade. Still tho I have seen guys that are less attractive and masculine than me get hotter girls than what I'm used to, and it does frustrate me since on paper these guys shouldn't have a chance with them. Like why would an attractive woman go out with some nerdy unmasculine guy who looks like he could be knocked over by a stiff breeze? Are they just in the right place at the right time? That said you're right that at the end of the day I don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe these women I've seen with these pipsqueak guys would be less compatible with me anyway or are terrible to deal with. There are indeed some women who wouldn't make good girlfriends despite being more attractive. It's true that I don't know the whole story but it just baffles me why women would be attracted to guys like that.

 

[Manure Spherian]

and it does frustrate me since on paper these guys shouldn't have a chance with them.

Why? Who said so? God?

Like why would an attractive woman go out with some nerdy unmasculine guy who looks like he could be knocked over by a stiff breeze?

Take a wild guess.

It's true that I don't know the whole story but it just baffles me why women would be attracted to guys like that.

When and if you mature you’ll realize.

You still didn’t say what makes women “higher quality” than those you were with.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Why? Who said so? God?

Take a wild guess.

When and if you mature you’ll realize.

You still didn’t say what makes women “higher quality” than those you were with.

I think my guess as to why some women go out with these sorts of guys is that they're easier to control. Maybe I don't know these women well enough to judge whether or not they're higher quality, and least not beyond a superficial sense. In my definition tho a woman who's truly high quality would be a combination of being attractive and compatible with me. But in my experience when there's women that get along with me well there's often a little bit to be desired in terms of looks. It's like I have to choose one or the other

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I made a poll on my instagram story about whether or not I should shave my mustache and so far two people have said yes and four have said no

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Update on the mustache poll: it's still two people in favour of me shaving it off and now six have voted no

 

[Manure Spherian]

I think my guess as to why some women go out with these sorts of guys is that they're easier to control.

Or…
1. They have high income.
2. They have high social status and are popular.
3. They come from rich families.
4. They are talented.
5. Despite their nerdy appearances, they are actually bossy or assertive.

You have no idea what makes them and all you could think of was, “they’re easy to control”.

My cousin’s husband does not work out. Why is she with him? I can think of a few reasons.
1. He’s a film director.
2. His daddy was a well-to-do movie-biz professional.
3. He’s handsome.
4. He has friends.
5. He’s talented.
6. He’s a good husband and father of her kids.

So with all the reasons people get together, you went right to some notion these normie guys are easy to control. You don’t know this and you don’t know them. And there are masculine-presenting and powerful men who’ve been treated like crap by women (Johnny Depp, for example).

I don’t want to further criticize you. I just think you need to get your thinking straightened out before you find a woman for your log-cabin retirement. You show a total lack of social acuity.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Or…
1. They have high income.
2. They have high social status and are popular.
3. They come from rich families.
4. They are talented.
5. Despite their nerdy appearances, they are actually bossy or assertive.

You have no idea what makes them and all you could think of was, “they’re easy to control”.

My cousin’s husband does not work out. Why is she with him? I can think of a few reasons.
1. He’s a film director.
2. His daddy was a well-to-do movie-biz professional.
3. He’s handsome.
4. He has friends.
5. He’s talented.
6. He’s a good husband and father of her kids.

So with all the reasons people get together, you went right to some notion these normie guys are easy to control. You don’t know this and you don’t know them. And there are masculine-presenting and powerful men who’ve been treated like crap by women (Johnny Depp, for example).

I don’t want to further criticize you. I just think you need to get your thinking straightened out before you find a woman for your log-cabin retirement. You show a total lack of social acuity.

What should I do to change my mindset then? Anything in particular I should do or read?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

After running an instagram poll about whether or not to shave my mustache, the people voted overwhelmingly in favour of me keeping it. So the mustache stays

 

[Manure Spherian]

What should I do to change my mindset then? Anything I should do or read?

I might answer these questions after you share your thoughts on what I wrote. What di you think of what I covered? Can you realize different women like different kinds of men?

Btw, your freaking mustache is not going to make you! There are some women who like mustaches and some who don’t. Do you understand?!

Seven years ago I grew a handlebar mustache for ****s and giggles and my wife didn’t care either way!

 

[Gamisch]

After running an instagram poll about whether or not to shave my mustache, the people voted overwhelmingly in favour of me keeping it. So the mustache stays

I keep getting updates that YOU specifically keep this thread alive. Couples questions;

1.What do your days look like. From waking up to sleeping

2. Do you think its attractive to tell this way of living/ routine to a (somehwat decent) woman.


3.do you have any purpose

4. Do you understand that OLD isnt meant for men to find their unicorn lovers but to MAKE MONEY. Yes or no?

5. Are you willing to take actual advice ,or perhaps you and that other manchild called @sangheilios can circle jerk how boohoo bad women are and how boohoo unfair life is.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I might answer these questions after you share your thoughts on what I wrote. What di you think of what I covered? Can you realize different women like different kinds of men?

Btw, your freaking mustache is not going to make you! There are some women who like mustaches and some who don’t. Do you understand?!

Seven years ago I grew a handlebar mustache for ****s and giggles and my wife didn’t care either way!

I’ve always been well aware that women go for different kinds of men. When I said that these pipsqueak guys were easy to control it was just one example. Still the dominant narrative I hear is that most women prefer more masculine, attractive, sociable guys. At least that’s what I hear said most often. But seeing the pipsqueaks get with attractive women throws this narrative out the window.

I ran the mustache poll because some guys on here said I should shave it and I wanted a second opinion

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

GET A JOB AND STFU

Get off ss right now this place isn't for you, go find a job now

Come back when you have a job, until then you should be banned

Like how is approaching women more important than working, you are slime right now, you need to level up, go listen to Andrew Tate call you a loser for an hour,, that's what you need

Go post in wealth and success this is a complete waste of everyone's time

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I keep getting updates that YOU specifically keep this thread alive. Couples questions;

1.What do your days look like. From waking up to sleeping

2. Do you think its attractive to tell this way of living/ routine to a (somehwat decent) woman.


3.do you have any purpose

4. Do you understand that OLD isnt meant for men to find their unicorn lovers but to MAKE MONEY. Yes or no?

5. Are you willing to take actual advice ,or perhaps you and that other manchild called @sangheilios can circle jerk how boohoo bad women are and how boohoo unfair life is.

1. As far as what my days look like I usually wake up between the hours of 10 and noon. Then I have lunch and chill and smoke weed for a bit, and after that if I need to run any errands that day I go do that. If I’m going to the gym that day then I go there in either the afternoon or the evening. On some days instead of gym I have band practice in the afternoon, and every Thursday evening I go to the temple to attend religious lectures. When I get home from either gym, band practice, errands or temple, I chill at my apartment again. I’ll smoke more weed and either watch youtube, read, or practice my instruments. Then when it gets closer to bedtime I’ll take all my supplements, read a book until I get tired, then go to sleep. That’s pretty much what my days look like. There are some days tho where I do practically nothing but this was more common a few years ago when everyone had to stay home during covid.

2. Whether or not this routine is attractive would depend on the woman I tell that to. A low-energy, more introverted woman probably wouldn’t mind my routine and may have a similar routine herself. However it’s always been my belief that some women would indeed be turned off by what my lifestyle is.

3. Yes, I do have purpose in life. The three things in my life that give me the most purpose are rock n roll, my religion, and weightlifting (in no particular order). These three things are dearest to me and give me something to live for.

I was an awkward, cringy middle school kid when I found rock n roll, and when I started getting into it and playing music it gave me confidence and an identity I could build. By the time I was in high school I was known by everyone as a rock n roller and I carried myself in that way, and playing music and being recognized for my talents really helped my self esteem. Flash forward to now I’ve played in bands for over a decade and had all these great experiences with that. I’ve played live more times than I can count and gone on tour twice. Playing music is arguably what I do best.

I’ve always been more of a religious type, and when I read the Bhagavad Gita a few years ago it completely changed my perception and motivated me to seek the highest spiritual truth. Thru religion I get a philosophical framework to interpret the world around me, and spiritual practice gives me the tools to become more god conscious and apply these metaphysical truths to my life.

Weightlifting give me more confidence and has improved my health physically and mentally. When I was younger I never thought I would be the type to get into that sort of thing because I kinda sucked at sports growing up, but I truly love going to the gym and it’s an essential part of my routine

4. I’m well aware that dating apps are a racket. That’s what I’ve said all along and why I find it so frustrating that I have to resort to them in order to be visible to women

5. I am indeed willing to receive advice, but I’m so entrenched in the predicaments I’ve described that it’s really hard for me to conceive of a way out of them. Right now I can’t imagine a life where I’ve conquered all the problems that I won’t shut up about on here. To try and overcome these things makes me feel overwhelmed, and I have extremely low tolerance for frustration so I’ve always had a tendency to give up very easily. Furthermore I’ve always had a natural tendency towards pessimism

 

[BergischerLöwe]

GET A JOB AND STFU

Get off ss right now this place isn't for you, go find a job now

Come back when you have a job, until then you should be banned

Like how is approaching women more important than working, you are slime right now, you need to level up, go listen to Andrew Tate call you a loser for an hour,, that's what you need

Go post in wealth and success this is a complete waste of everyone's time

I don’t really have any job prospects besides maybe working at guitar stores or some other retail job, and I applied to work at one last year and they didn’t hire me. Idk if I’m even employable tbh. I’ve already posted about my lack of career prospects in wealth and success

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@BergischerLöwe

Listen closely, because this needs to be said unequivocally: Your current approach is the epitome of futility. Asking the same questions repeatedly and expecting different results is nothing short of a delusion.

No matter how many times you ask, the core truth of the matter will not change to suit your desires.

Your refusal to take sound advice and continuously challenging the counsel of those who know better not only highlights an underlying immaturity but also a profound lack of respect for the time and expertise of others. You need to understand that wisdom often comes from experience and from your betters who are sharing advice derived from their own hard-earned lessons.

It is high time you stopped spinning in circles and started taking decisive action. You need to cultivate the ability to discern valuable advice from mere opinions and have the fortitude to act upon it. Real growth happens when you step out of your comfort zone and face the realities of life head-on, instead of seeking endless affirmations or easier answers.

Furthermore, bear in mind that every moment you spend ignoring sound advice is a moment squandered, a lost opportunity to progress and evolve. If you truly aspire to develop into a person of substance, you need to halt this cycle of incessant questioning and start implementing the knowledge you've been given. Make a conscious effort to break free from this self-imposed loop of indecision and start moving forward, even if it means making mistakes along the way. Remember, it's through mistakes that we often find the most valuable lessons.

In essence, it's time to grow up, show some resolve, and start taking responsibility for your actions. If not, you risk remaining stagnant, perpetually caught in a cycle of indecision and wasted potential.

Choose to be better, choose to grow, and choose to respect the advice of those who have walked the path before you.

Anything else you post that isn't "hey I decided to take this action and this was the result", is attention whoring.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

@BergischerLöwe

Listen closely, because this needs to be said unequivocally: Your current approach is the epitome of futility. Asking the same questions repeatedly and expecting different results is nothing short of a delusion.

No matter how many times you ask, the core truth of the matter will not change to suit your desires.

Your refusal to take sound advice and continuously challenging the counsel of those who know better not only highlights an underlying immaturity but also a profound lack of respect for the time and expertise of others. You need to understand that wisdom often comes from experience from your betters who are sharing advice derived from their own hard-earned lessons.

It is high time you stopped spinning in circles and started taking decisive action. You need to cultivate the ability to discern valuable advice from mere opinions and have the fortitude to act upon it. Real growth happens when you step out of your comfort zone and face the realities of life head-on, instead of seeking endless affirmations or easier answers.

Furthermore, bear in mind that every moment you spend ignoring sound advice is a moment squandered, a lost opportunity to progress and evolve. If you truly aspire to develop into a person of substance, you need to halt this cycle of incessant questioning and start implementing the knowledge you've been given. Make a conscious effort to break free from this self-imposed loop of indecision and start moving forward, even if it means making mistakes along the way. Remember, it's through mistakes that we often find the most valuable lessons.

In essence, it's time to grow up, show some resolve, and start taking responsibility for your actions. If not, you risk remaining stagnant, perpetually caught in a cycle of indecision and wasted potential.

Choose to be better, choose to grow, and choose to respect the advice of those who have walked the path before you.

Anything else you post that isn't "hey I decided to take this action and this was the result", is attention whoring.

Very well, then this is what must be done. I’m sorry if I have come across as seeking attention, I’ve just been really frustrated about all of this and this forum is the only outlet I have to even talk about this kinda stuff. I’m looking for answers and a way out of this, I really am. I’m aware that I’ve come across as dramatic but idk how else to convey my frustration

 

[Gamisch]

GET A JOB AND STFU

Get off ss right now this place isn't for you, go find a job now

Come back when you have a job, until then you should be banned

Like how is approaching women more important than working, you are slime right now, you need to level up, go listen to Andrew Tate call you a loser for an hour,, that's what you need

Go post in wealth and success this is a complete waste of everyone's time

Holy **** i agree 120% with you on this bro.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Idk if I’m even employable tbh.

I don’t think unemployable men should seek women.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I don’t think unemployable men should seek women.

Idk what I'd even do as far as a job or if anyone would even hire me. In the past I tried to do freelance translation work on the internet but I fell off the wagon with that. I feel like I need a career advisor or somebody to coach me on this. Gonna look up career counselors in my area