Is there any solution? I feel like there's no good answer for me. It's all a mess

[Manure Spherian]

I feel like I’d need to at least somewhat like a job in order stick with it

Who are you to have such a stipulation? A job is worked for money.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You’re asking the same questions repeatedly of anyone who posts hoping for a different answer, this is the definition of insanity.

The only way he would be happy is if you started to do his laundry, cook him dinner, find him work, give him an allowance, buy him a car, buy his clothes, clean his room, etc. It sounds like he wants a mommy.

 

[Gamisch]

Well what do you think I should do? Just give up on trying to meet the kind of women I want? I’m not trying to be difficult, I’m just frustrated about my situation and am not sure what to do. I may have been born into a somewhat well off family but there was a fair amount of adversity I faced as a kid. I was emotionally and physically abused by my stepfather as a kid and it adversely affected my life trajectory in a number of ways, for example

Wow. Yu should actually

- start thanking EVERYONE who chimed in and took time to help
- do what's been told like you a robot
-stop being argumentative
-stfu and leave the site and come back once u got a job
-STOP making threads!!!

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Wow. Yu should actually

- start thanking EVERYONE who chimed in and took time to help
- do what's been told like you a robot
-stop being argumentative
-stfu and leave the site and come back once u got a job
-STOP making threads!!!

For what it's worth from these threads I've come up with a few things that I should do: (In no particular order)
1. Continue to lose bodyfat
2. Get vasectomy so I can alleviate my fears about accidental pregnancy forever
3. Get career counseling, I found an ADHD specific one
4. Start reading more about approaching and applying it
5. Get coaching on how to approach. I think for someone like me I need to actually pay someone to help me
6. Think about what approach venues would actually work in my favour and begin to frequent those places

Again I apologize if I've come across as argumentative. I don't mean to shoot down anyone's advice, but when you're so ingrained in a certain mentality like I am it's hard to see any way out. One thing I worry about is actually committing to learning how to approach. People in the past on other forums have convinced me to try that. What's always happened tho is for a few weeks I get really motivated and start thinking "Yeah I'm gonna change this time, I'm gonna learn how to approach and solve this once and for all", only for me to end up making no progress, falling off the wagon, and reverting back to swiping endlessly on the dating apps I hate so much. How do I actually stick with it when approaching and learning how to do it isn't going to be very fun or pleasant for me, especially at first?

 

[Gamisch]

For what it's worth from these threads I've come up with a few things that I should do: (In no particular order)
1. Continue to lose bodyfat
2. Get career counseling, I found an ADHD specific one
3. Start reading more about approaching and applying it
4. Get coaching on how to approach. I think for someone like me I need to actually pay someone to help me
5. Think about what approach venues would actually work in my favour and begin to frequent those places

Again I apologize if I've come across as argumentative. I don't mean to shoot down anyone's advice, but when you're so ingrained in a certain mentality like I am it's hard to see any way out. One thing I worry about is actually committing to learning how to approach. People in the past on other forums have convinced me to try that. What's always happened tho is for a few weeks I get really motivated and start thinking "Yeah I'm gonna change this time, I'm gonna learn how to approach and solve this once and for all", only for me to end up making no progress, falling off the wagon, and reverting back to swiping endlessly on the dating apps I hate so much. How do I actually stick with it when approaching and learning how to do it isn't going to be very fun or pleasant for me, especially at first?

Oke ,because you are at least humble I'll tell you " what to do".

You gotta first fall in love with yourself.

Once you do, you'll decorate, care for and lift up yourself as much as you can by default. You should look in the mirror and feel like "DAMN".

That's something that's been made extra extra difficult by Match llc group, the company who now owns 45 dating apps. They want you to doubt yourself, and this keep you away from feeling good about yourself without needing female validation. Because geuss what happens when most men go "back in time " and dgaf About no stupid app to feel good about themselves? Yes, they can file for bankruptcy.

Last paragraph , if you read between the lines debunked the myth of OLD. To me its powerless, as in OLD won't determine my own worth. And geuss what, I get the same type of matches like you and so does the next and the next and the next man...women you dont really want anyway. I am completely aware that OLD is scam, and yet I break through it all the time. Once i get a woman, I'll break their algorithm and she's fecked. But if I dont get one,that's fine! I have like 12 serious hobbies ( no joke) a fulltime job and several side hustles/entrepreneurial ideas who want me to breath life into them!

Oh Lord..I'm infatuated by myself. I fecking LOVE myself, on a pretty narcissistic level..i believe i was send by God like I am his son, like Jesus is my lil brother, Mohammed is my nephew. Yes sounds crazy (which I am a bit ofcourse).

Love yourself. Enough to die for yourself. Is there ANYTHING your willing to die for right now if necessary? I'll die for my daughter to some degree ,but even that has limit..but ME. I'll do ANYTHING for that man in the mirror!

Now we got that clear, you start to understand i dgaf about no woman..if i feel like honoring a woman by showing myself to her, there is zero doubt. Ofcourse she can decline the offer. But that doesn't change my world, my vision on the world and how I feel about myself and my role in this world.

If you love yourself, love will come..and this type of info my friend, is what can make sosauve unique. Because it took me a LONG time to get here. Nobody told me this shyte, ever! Had to figure it out myself! You can't love a stranger/woman if you dont practice love on a daily base. You hate yourself. It reflects through all of your words.

I told you forget about women. Stop watching porn! You watching porn making yourself believe that you deserve p00sy, which you ABSOLUTELY don't. You should tell yourself you ONLY deserve shyte when you've worked for it some how some way.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You're a nut @Gamisch, but your heart is in the right place.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Oke ,because you are at least humble I'll tell you " what to do".

You gotta first fall in love with yourself.

Once you do, you'll decorate, care for and lift up yourself as much as you can by default. You should look in the mirror and feel like "DAMN".

That's something that's been made extra extra difficult by Match llc group, the company who now owns 45 dating apps. They want you to doubt yourself, and this keep you away from feeling good about yourself without needing female validation. Because geuss what happens when most men go "back in time " and dgaf About no stupid app to feel good about themselves? Yes, they can file for bankruptcy.

Last paragraph , if you read between the lines debunked the myth of OLD. To me its powerless, as in OLD won't determine my own worth. And geuss what, I get the same type of matches like you and so does the next and the next and the next man...women you dont really want anyway. I am completely aware that OLD is scam, and yet I break through it all the time. Once i get a woman, I'll break their algorithm and she's fecked. But if I dont get one,that's fine! I have like 12 serious hobbies ( no joke) a fulltime job and several side hustles/entrepreneurial ideas who want me to breath life into them!

Oh Lord..I'm infatuated by myself. I fecking LOVE myself, on a pretty narcissistic level..i believe i was send by God like I am his son, like Jesus is my lil brother, Mohammed is my nephew. Yes sounds crazy (which I am a bit ofcourse).

Love yourself. Enough to die for yourself. Is there ANYTHING your willing to die for right now if necessary? I'll die for my daughter to some degree ,but even that has limit..but ME. I'll do ANYTHING for that man in the mirror!

Now we got that clear, you start to understand i dgaf about no woman..if i feel like honoring a woman by showing myself to her, there is zero doubt. Ofcourse she can decline the offer. But that doesn't change my world, my vision on the world and how I feel about myself and my role in this world.

If you love yourself, love will come..and this type of info my friend, is what can make sosauve unique. Because it took me a LONG time to get here. Nobody told me this shyte, ever! Had to figure it out myself! You can't love a stranger/woman if you dont practice love on a daily base. You hate yourself. It reflects through all of your words.

I told you forget about women. Stop watching porn! You watching porn making yourself believe that you deserve p00sy, which you ABSOLUTELY don't. You should tell yourself you ONLY deserve shyte when you've worked for it some how some way.

For the past week already I have not consumed porn of any kind. I haven't jerked off to anything depicting sex between two individuals in more than eight years anyway, but I still would jerk off to softcore images. But now I realize I have to stop with that too. You're very correct that porn warps the mind, and at the end of the day it's a weapon targeted at us. I certainly can and should do without it.

In general I do love myself, but I suffer from self doubt a fair amount, especially with something like this. I've always been naturally pessimistic and give up very easily, my frustration tolerance is very low. That's why I worry so much about falling off the wagon and giving up as far as learning to approach is concerned. I do think I may need some sort of coaching to get out of this and learn to appraoch in earnest. It's obvious I need help and can't do it alone

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Anybody know where I can get online coaching to learn how to approach? Google doesn't yield many results and the few I've found have ridiculously high prices