Is she cheating

[Serenity]

Yeh... there have been staring at coaches at games... 25 to 30 glances. My son saw it. And after another game... staring at the same coach in the parking behind me for 15 solid seconds... it was awkward

Hmm, can't say I consider staring to be that much of a red flag. When I've been in a relationship I've stared at plenty of women who are attractive, I'll allow myself the fantasy without taking action on it, because at the end of the day I'd prefer what I have anyways.

It does seem like you and your wife has poor communication though.

 

[Buzzman]

Years ago...b4 marriage.. dated 3 years..then we were on a break... she dated 2 frat guys from her college on the break. One asked the other if he could ask her out... about a month each..

but we went out on a saturday night. We were drinking at the bar ... her ex stops by...At 11pm.. we went to bathroom. When i got out ahe was gone.

Vanished. The next day she told me ahe went home with her gfs at the bar bc she was mad at me...

Then years later.. she admitted that she left with the frat guys and her gf...

Then. This march she admitted that she left with just the frat guys... but ahe contends she never slept with them. When they were dating. Or that saturday night when were on a break...

 

[Buzzman]

Did she tell you about the attempted meetup in person, or was it by a text send mistake? Think about it…

It was by text... do u think she meant to send it to me?

 

[Buzzman]

Hmm, can't say I consider staring to be that much of a red flag. When I've been in a relationship I've stared at plenty of women who are attractive, I'll allow myself the fantasy without taking action on it, because at the end of the day I'd prefer what I have anyways.

It does seem like you and your wife has poor communication though.

I agree...very poor communication.

 

[Buzzman]

Well if you want your wife to love you and respect you, you need to show her your value.
What is this rolleplaying you as her ex boyfriend? You should have never even agreed to that, should have slapped her and fvcked her arse when she suggested it.

That's true

 

[Billtx49]

It was by text... do u think she meant to send it to me?

Do you think you needed to be told you were taking the kids to the movies? Most texts will list multiple recipients …

 

[Buzzman]

Do you think you needed to be told you were taking the kids to the movies?

Right. What did what i was up to matter? I shouldn't have been part of the equation.

 

[Buzzman]

Yeh... thats true.. the small things add up... hard to think they aren't all like her

Years ago...b4 marriage.. dated 3 years..then we were on a break... she dated 2 frat guys from her college on the break. One asked the other if he could ask her out... about a month each..

but we went out on a saturday night. We were drinking at the bar ... her ex stops by...At 11pm.. we went to bathroom. When i got out ahe was gone.

Vanished. The next day she told me ahe went home with her gfs at the bar bc she was mad at me...

Then years later.. after marriage and kids she admitted that she left with the frat guys and her gf...

Then. This march she admitted that she left with just the frat guys... but she contends she never slept with them. When they were dating. Or that saturday night when were on a break..

 

[Billtx49]

Right. What did what i was up to matter? I shouldn't have been part of the equation.

50/50… part of her explanation that she has some free time, Or, that you won’t be around…

 

[Buzzman]

50/50… part of her explanation that she has some free time, Or, that you won’t be around…

Good point

 

[Buzzman]

Alright, you opened this thread because you wanted advice; so, I'm operating under ther assumption that your marriage isn't irrelevant to you -- even though you discussed wife-swapping with your wife.

Your wife is staring at your kids's coaches? Does it mean anything other than that she wants to fuuck other people? We already know that, because you're already role playing her ex and various other guys, for her, when YOU fuuck her!

Role playing specific people brings those people into your bedroom and into your marriage. If you're bothe just surrogates for each other's unattainable fantasies, the clock is ticking.

None of what you've been doing is healthy for your marriage, in the long run....not if you find her attractive, but need to pretend to be someone else, to get her off.

What's your goal with this type of role-play, and the inevitable open relationship it leads to?

Good point. Im not sure. We both get into it...

 

[Billtx49]

Good point

You’re on notice to keep your eyes open now, that’s all until proven otherwise…

 

[Buzzman]

You’re on notice to keep your eyes open now, that’s all until proven otherwise…

Keep my open to cheating? Shes on the prowl...huh

 

[Billtx49]

Shes on the prowl...huh

You won’t need to post here when you know, wait and see with eyes open. Trust, but verify until then.

 

[Buzzman]

So, you estimates her SMV as sufficiently higher than your own to justify this type of behavior?

I mean... a lot happened from that night to when i found out... married.kids. hard to leave for something years ago.. when u have that going on... but it definatley hurt our marriage

 

[Buzzman]

You won’t need to post here when you know, wait and see with eyes open. Trust, but verify until then.

Yep. I get it

 

[Buzzman]

There are men who get into being cucked. Being into it doesn't make it healthy.

Ok. I see.

 

[Serenity]

I agree...very poor communication.

Well, that right there is a problem that must be addressed. Even if she's not cheating this will eventually kill the marriage or make it unbearable to continue.

She may very well also be cheating because of this. Women need to feel connection, if that's lacking then it is a risk factor as she might be seeking it elsewhere.

 

[Buzzman]

Well, that right there is a problem that must be addressed. Even if she's not cheating this will eventually kill the marriage or make it unbearable to continue.

She may very well also be cheating because of this. Women need to feel connection, if that's lacking then it is a risk factor as she might be seeking it elsewhere.

I see. Hows that done

 

[Serenity]

I see. Hows that done

Well, it's kinda tricky for me to come up with advice that fits to your situation without being you. You can try googling how to get better at communication, read through the general advice and maybe you'll find something that feels right to your specific case.