Here’s the story(WARNING- a little long),
I met her doing one of my cold approaches from the summer(I don’t know if you remember my thread), and she immediately liked me. She came to my dorm over the summer to see this other guy she knew from the year before, but he wasn’t there and she ended up in my room. We talked, and this pattern continued over the course of a week or so. She found out about the other girls, and she thought it would be a challenged to get me. She kissed me first, and I never saw it coming. So, over the course of the summer, I try to know her by taking a walk with her and talking about everything, tubing, burrito place(she paid!), watching movies, working out, etc and I was still seeing other girls.
So, August 6 rolls around, and I tell her, “I want you to be my girlfriend,” and she said yes. She is exactly what I wanted in a girl at the time: Christian(for the morals), virgin, good body, works out, loves sports, likes to eat, likes doing what I like to do, smart, funny, and likes me for me. Also, the only reason I asked her after knowing her for about a month and a half was that she was leaving to go to RA training for two straight weeks, and I wouldn’t have another chance to see her again. I was so excited when she said “yes” because she was my first “real” girlfriend.
From about August 20 to November 20 over relationship was great. We never really got into any fights or arguments about anything important. She stayed loyal to me, and swore she would never cheat on me like the two high school girls that did back a couple of years ago. She even told me what she looks for in a guy; he has to be smart, good body, believes in G-d, his friends like her, dark hair and dark eyes, taller than her, doesn’t drink or smoke at all or much(especially not smoking because of her mom’s addiction to cigarettes), trustworthy, likes her for who she is not just because of her body, has goals and ambitions, and she wants someone who can stand up for her too. I fulfill all those traits and more, and I would always focus on myself by studying for my classes, painting landscapes, reading business and academic books, working out, and I always got to what I wanted.
So, the Sunday before Thanksgiving holiday, she says she will take me out to dinner because she owed me for buying her Dominos on Friday. I said, “Ok”, so I get over their(her apartment) a little late(around 9ish), and we decide not to go out to eat and eat their. After dinner, I sit on her bed, and her whole body language changes where she can’t even look me in the eye or talk in a normal voice. She said that, “she doesn’t see us working out in the long run, “ and “I love you like a best friend.” The thing about that comment is that she said, “I love you first(like three weeks before)” and I felt as if she meant it. Also, she said that “I don’t feel in love with you, and I want to be in love.” I couldn’t say much because I was in a state of shock because I relationship was going so well.
The next day, I think of some things I wanted to say to her but couldn’t because I wasn’t thinking that day. So I go over to her place on Monday, I ask some questions, and she admits she might be making a big mistake. Then before I left, she said she will think about what she will do and said to totally disregard the breaking up on Sunday conversation. She gives me a hug, and I leave to go back to my parents for Thanksgiving.
Last Tuesday, she calls me up and asks if I want to go to lunch(of course, did she need to ask that silly question), and I say yea sure. She even told me over the phone that “you have nothing to worry about, everything will be okay.” I take it as if she might have changed her mind. I sit down outside Subway eating those delicious cookies, and she does that whole 360 body language reversal on me again. She tells me that she feels feelings for another man let’s call him GF-Stealer. She tells me about how GF-Stealer makes her feel even though he has only known her for a month and a half.
She even admits that, “I don’t see him and me working out in the long run.” She told me she doesn’t casual date people, but she makes them friends and goes from their. She even knows that he smokes pot, drinks alcohol, smokes cigarettes, and he might be a player that will just use her which she hates. She also found out that he even admitted to her, “I wanted to steal you away from your boyfriend.”(What the hell is this?) I always let her hang out with her guy friends because I’m not the jealous person; I would even joke around and say, “Hey, did you give him your number?”
Yet, she ended the conversation with , “I want to take a break with you and see if I will miss you and there is a chance we could get back together.” Again, I ask her why about everything, and she said, “I don’t know, I’m just going with my feelings and taking a risk and I don’t know if I’m making the right decision.” Also, she even admitted that I did everything right and that I have everything she wants(looks, morals, honesty, ambition,etc)!
Guys, I’m not looking for responses like NEXT! DUDE, JUST GO DATE AROUND. It is not that simple; I still have feelings for this girl because she is the first girl I have been with for over a month(Maybe, I have one-itis). I feel like she is worth fighting for and she is making a huge mistake letting me go, but I want to hear your guys opinions on how I should go getting her back, or I’m wasting my time with her, or whatever you have to say.
I believe she isn’t giving our relationship a chance because she expects to feel a certain emotion(“be in love with”) after a x amount of time, but she only gave are relationship three months, and I believe if she would give it more time she might feel differently. Also, I know she has all the power because she has the choice, but what should I do? I have never been in this position before. The last two girls cheated on me, and I broke up with them but this hurts more because she left me for another guy. I rarely ask for advice, but this is the time I need it the most. Any help appreciated.
Thanks,
JW
I met her doing one of my cold approaches from the summer(I don’t know if you remember my thread), and she immediately liked me. She came to my dorm over the summer to see this other guy she knew from the year before, but he wasn’t there and she ended up in my room. We talked, and this pattern continued over the course of a week or so. She found out about the other girls, and she thought it would be a challenged to get me. She kissed me first, and I never saw it coming. So, over the course of the summer, I try to know her by taking a walk with her and talking about everything, tubing, burrito place(she paid!), watching movies, working out, etc and I was still seeing other girls.
So, August 6 rolls around, and I tell her, “I want you to be my girlfriend,” and she said yes. She is exactly what I wanted in a girl at the time: Christian(for the morals), virgin, good body, works out, loves sports, likes to eat, likes doing what I like to do, smart, funny, and likes me for me. Also, the only reason I asked her after knowing her for about a month and a half was that she was leaving to go to RA training for two straight weeks, and I wouldn’t have another chance to see her again. I was so excited when she said “yes” because she was my first “real” girlfriend.
From about August 20 to November 20 over relationship was great. We never really got into any fights or arguments about anything important. She stayed loyal to me, and swore she would never cheat on me like the two high school girls that did back a couple of years ago. She even told me what she looks for in a guy; he has to be smart, good body, believes in G-d, his friends like her, dark hair and dark eyes, taller than her, doesn’t drink or smoke at all or much(especially not smoking because of her mom’s addiction to cigarettes), trustworthy, likes her for who she is not just because of her body, has goals and ambitions, and she wants someone who can stand up for her too. I fulfill all those traits and more, and I would always focus on myself by studying for my classes, painting landscapes, reading business and academic books, working out, and I always got to what I wanted.
So, the Sunday before Thanksgiving holiday, she says she will take me out to dinner because she owed me for buying her Dominos on Friday. I said, “Ok”, so I get over their(her apartment) a little late(around 9ish), and we decide not to go out to eat and eat their. After dinner, I sit on her bed, and her whole body language changes where she can’t even look me in the eye or talk in a normal voice. She said that, “she doesn’t see us working out in the long run, “ and “I love you like a best friend.” The thing about that comment is that she said, “I love you first(like three weeks before)” and I felt as if she meant it. Also, she said that “I don’t feel in love with you, and I want to be in love.” I couldn’t say much because I was in a state of shock because I relationship was going so well.
The next day, I think of some things I wanted to say to her but couldn’t because I wasn’t thinking that day. So I go over to her place on Monday, I ask some questions, and she admits she might be making a big mistake. Then before I left, she said she will think about what she will do and said to totally disregard the breaking up on Sunday conversation. She gives me a hug, and I leave to go back to my parents for Thanksgiving.
Last Tuesday, she calls me up and asks if I want to go to lunch(of course, did she need to ask that silly question), and I say yea sure. She even told me over the phone that “you have nothing to worry about, everything will be okay.” I take it as if she might have changed her mind. I sit down outside Subway eating those delicious cookies, and she does that whole 360 body language reversal on me again. She tells me that she feels feelings for another man let’s call him GF-Stealer. She tells me about how GF-Stealer makes her feel even though he has only known her for a month and a half.
She even admits that, “I don’t see him and me working out in the long run.” She told me she doesn’t casual date people, but she makes them friends and goes from their. She even knows that he smokes pot, drinks alcohol, smokes cigarettes, and he might be a player that will just use her which she hates. She also found out that he even admitted to her, “I wanted to steal you away from your boyfriend.”(What the hell is this?) I always let her hang out with her guy friends because I’m not the jealous person; I would even joke around and say, “Hey, did you give him your number?”
Yet, she ended the conversation with , “I want to take a break with you and see if I will miss you and there is a chance we could get back together.” Again, I ask her why about everything, and she said, “I don’t know, I’m just going with my feelings and taking a risk and I don’t know if I’m making the right decision.” Also, she even admitted that I did everything right and that I have everything she wants(looks, morals, honesty, ambition,etc)!
Guys, I’m not looking for responses like NEXT! DUDE, JUST GO DATE AROUND. It is not that simple; I still have feelings for this girl because she is the first girl I have been with for over a month(Maybe, I have one-itis). I feel like she is worth fighting for and she is making a huge mistake letting me go, but I want to hear your guys opinions on how I should go getting her back, or I’m wasting my time with her, or whatever you have to say.
I believe she isn’t giving our relationship a chance because she expects to feel a certain emotion(“be in love with”) after a x amount of time, but she only gave are relationship three months, and I believe if she would give it more time she might feel differently. Also, I know she has all the power because she has the choice, but what should I do? I have never been in this position before. The last two girls cheated on me, and I broke up with them but this hurts more because she left me for another guy. I rarely ask for advice, but this is the time I need it the most. Any help appreciated.
Thanks,
JW
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