Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[FlexpertHamilton]

Everyone else I know has had a relationship and I’m the only one who’s been alone their whole life, so it isn’t even something that they could even relate to, which makes you feel even more alone in struggling with this.

My older group of friends from high school have been in LTRs/marriage (which they hold over me and act like I'm not qualified to give them advice since I've never been in a super long relationship) - but here's the kicker is: their GFs were all fat/ugly/had kids AND I doubt they wear the pants. Lots of guys get into relationships but have no boundaries and their women doesn't respect them. Does that sound nice to you? Don't just compare yourself to others at face value. I'm convinced most relationships are sexless or at the very least, the man isn't wearing the pants and the women is probably cheating. Still upset you're single?

There is so much truth to this. I feel like my mental health is in pretty bad shape from having never been in love or dated anyone by age 30. I wouldn’t ever resort to violence because of this, but I can definitely feel the negative effects on my mental health.

If you've never been in love by 30, then yeah, that is quite bad. You need to go through heartbreak early on so you won't get attached to the first girl who shows you deep affection. So, I can sympathize with that.

Yes. Anyone who says otherwise is coping. Male happiness is connected to women. This is why you don’t see a 6’3 Chad with tons of hot women decide to shoot up the school one day

Indirectly yes. I won't deny that being able to attract women and get some poonani is essential for your wellbeing...but in my mind, being unable to attract women is more reflective of your overall quality of life. If you cannot attract women it means something is wrong in your life, unless you're ugly or short in which case, I offer my condolences to any of those men.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

But not having a woman in your life isnt going to kill you , its arbitrary to an extent

Being Starving is completely different analogy

Yea I understand having one is nice of course it is

But theres a **** ton of women in the world of all shapes and sizes .....If a man wants one enough he can get one

It may not be one he specifically wants but he can get something he ain't being pushed to any point by anyone other than himself

women LOVE confident men even if you look like absolute sh1t if your confident and believe in yourself her pu$$y will get wet for you

Anything else is just self defeatist whining talk

@BeExcellent tell them straight out of the horses mouth

yeah nobody gives a **** about a womans confidence, thats not how men are attracted to women

 

[needimprovement250]

Lots of guys get into relationships but have no boundaries and their women doesn't respect them. Does that sound nice to you? Don't just compare yourself to others at face value. I'm convinced most relationships are sexless or at the very least, the man isn't wearing the pants and the women is probably cheating. Still upset you're single?

Yes and no all of what you describe would be awful and wouldn’t make me feel any better than I do now, but going through that would teach me more about relationships I’m sure.

If you've never been in love by 30, then yeah, that is quite bad. You need to go through heartbreak early on so you won't get attached to the first girl who shows you deep affection. So, I can sympathize with that.

Appreciate you sympathizing with me on that. And it appears that most women agree with the point about heartbreak you made, and I do as well. Like I said on this thread already, I feel so trapped in a catch-22 that I can’t get out of due to the fact that I’ve never been in love or had any dating experience by 30. I really do feel like dating for me is now gonna be a cycle of going out on dates, them asking about my past relationships and dating history, and then ghosting me after finding out that I don’t have any experience, an infinite loop of rejection in other words. In addition to the fact that I’m concerned that a lot of women in my dating pool will now have settling down in mind and if they learn that I’ve never dated, they won’t even take me seriously, but to be fair I don’t want to rush into something like that when I’ve never dated. I’ve just lost so much hope in this situation and it seems like my lack of experience is a serious issue, do you have any advice on how to get out of this?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I really do feel like dating for me is now gonna be a cycle of going out on dates, them asking about my past relationships and dating history, and then ghosting me after finding out that I don’t have any experience, an infinite loop of rejection in other words. In addition to the fact that I’m concerned that a lot of women in my dating pool will now have settling down in mind and if they learn that I’ve never dated, they won’t even take me seriously

Don't tell them your relationship history. Just lie, or avoid answering. You can still catch up. I was a late bloomer myself, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and took me a few more years just to get a couple more notches, though I know by some accounts that's not considered late.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Unlikely. It's more often linked to low T levels which are at epidemic level proportions these days, even among teenagers and guys in their early 20s.


The average 22 year old male these days has T levels around 420-430 which is the same as 70 year olds had in the 1960s.

Now ask yourself the real question. Why haven't the giant red flags been raised and why are they allowing the male endocrine system to be assaulted since day 1 on this earth(and likely before in the womb) and do nothing about it except turn a blind eye and pretend it isn't happening.

That is what needs to be figured out...raise T levels and a lot of "depression" symptoms magically disappear. Bad business for Big Pharma and Psychologists, Psychiatrists and everyone else who deals with mental health.

Testosterone is dirt cheap...most of those drugs for mental health and all the new ones that are continuously coming out are not.

"Epidemiological and observational studies highlight that men suffering from depression have lower circulating testosterone levels (17, 75, 76) and higher prevalence and greater severity of sexual symptoms (78, 95, 96, 98). "

Frontiers | The association of hypogonadism with depression and its treatments

According to World Health Organization estimates, 5% of the adult population worldwide suffers from depression. In addition to the affective, psychomotor and...

www.frontiersin.org

Why Are Men's Testosterone Levels Decreasing?

Odds are your grandad had higher testosterone levels than you — but why?

www.medichecks.com

.

 

[needimprovement250]

Don't tell them your relationship history. Just lie, or avoid answering. You can still catch up. I was a late bloomer myself, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and took me a few more years just to get a couple more notches, though I know by some accounts that's not considered late.

I lost mine at 21 too. I would agree that isn’t really considered late by today’s standards. I actually told the girl that I lost my virginity to that I was a kissless virgin at 21 out of pure nervousness and she wasn’t deterred. But I do think the lack of experience is looked at differently in your 30’s compared to early 20’s. I would probably try to avoid answering so that I’m not outright lying and would probably say something like I just want to keep the past in the past for now and I don’t think that’s a discussion we need to have at this point in time and change the subject. Do you think that would work, or is that something that most women will not let go and will persist until you give them an answer?

 

[corrector]

I lost mine at 21 too. I would agree that isn’t really considered late by today’s standards. I actually told the girl that I lost my virginity to that I was a kissless virgin at 21 out of pure nervousness and she wasn’t deterred. But I do think the lack of experience is looked at differently in your 30’s compared to early 20’s. I would probably try to avoid answering so that I’m not outright lying and would probably say something like I just want to keep the past in the past for now and I don’t think that’s a discussion we need to have at this point in time and change the subject. Do you think that would work, or is that something that most women will not let go and will persist until you give them an answer?

Saying you don't kiss and tell with a wink should be good enough. There are also a number of people who have had a number of short term experiences but have no long term relationship. If you need to have been in a relationship for at least a year, that would disqualify allot of guys on here including myself. You can't worry about a woman's questions/standareds too much. People fib around all the time, that is why it's called game or fake it until you make it.

 

[needimprovement250]

Saying you don't kiss and tell with a wink should be good enough. There are also a number of people who have had a number of short term experiences but have no long term relationship. If you need to have been in a relationship for at least a year, that would disqualify allot of guys on here including myself. You can't worry about a woman's questions/standareds too much. People fib around all the time, that is why it's called game or fake it until you make it.

Doing that would prevent follow up questions about my past and she wouldn’t persist until she gets an answer out of me? I’m not too opposed to stretching the truth because I do want to relocate to a new area, but don’t want to leave my hometown without ever experiencing dating in the area where I grew up, so maybe it isn’t as bad since I can use my hometown to get practice and dating experience before I relocate and can date more confidently in my new area. I will also say that I do believe you are not obligated to tell her anything about your past, you don’t owe her those answers and I don’t know if there’s even a chance that a woman would break it off just because she can’t get info on a guy’s past? That seems like a pretty silly reason to stop dating someone.

I’ve also wondered how many women would actually bring that up because I’m sure a lot of them don’t want to share the skeletons in their closets or have to reveal their body count, and bringing that subject up means offering up info like that on their part.

One last thing I wanted to ask you or anyone else in this thread who has more experience than me is do you think that subject might not even be brought up until after you and her have sex? Because if it wasn’t brought up until afterwards, I wouldn’t care as much since I would still be leaving with more experience even if she did reject me.

 

[corrector]

Women do not care about my past whom I have interacted with or befriended recently. They just know I am alone. Nobody ask me about any history. But I do understand if you get a specific pattern then it can get to you.

 

[The Duke]

Women do not care about my past whom I have interacted with or befriended recently. They just know I am alone. Nobody ask me about any history. But I do understand if you get a specific pattern then it can get to you.

They will ask if they are interested in a relationship.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

They will ask if they are interested in a relationship.

Why would a sex worker care about a client's sexual past or lack thereof?

 

[Redwood]

I dunno, you can still be depressed with one too if you feel stuck with a toxic woman.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I believe this is true.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Doesn't work for a lot of men:

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

I was thinking that today. At my gym is a short non-muscular middle-aged Asian guy. Average face. I have seen him at my gym for years. He carries a notebook and records his workouts. He never seems to make progress. I’ve never seen him with a woman. He could have a hottie at home. But I don’t think so.

 

[needimprovement250]

They will ask if they are interested in a relationship.

And if they do ask, would saying that you don’t want to talk about that at this point in time work?

 

[needimprovement250]

Y

Women do not care about my past whom I have interacted with or befriended recently. They just know I am alone. Nobody ask me about any history. But I do understand if you get a specific pattern then it can get to you.

Yeah if you keep getting repeatedly rejected because of it, that would get to me for sure.

 

[corrector]

Why would a sex worker care about a client's sexual past or lack thereof?

Nobody from work cares.

 

[NealIRC]

I was thinking that today. At my gym is a short non-muscular middle-aged Asian guy. Average face. I have seen him at my gym for years. He carries a notebook and records his workouts. He never seems to make progress. I’ve never seen him with a woman. He could have a hottie at home. But I don’t think so.

Stories like this makes me wonder if men can ever send a woman to ask these questions to men, ask if he's single or not.

 

[MatureDJ]

I was thinking that today. At my gym is a short non-muscular middle-aged Asian guy. Average face. I have seen him at my gym for years. He carries a notebook and records his workouts. He never seems to make progress. I’ve never seen him with a woman. He could have a hottie at home. But I don’t think so.

It's OVER for ShortFrameEthnicCels.

 

[The Duke]

and I do as well. Like I said on this thread already, been in love or had any dating experience by 30. I really do feel like dating for me is now gonna be a cycle of going out on dates, them asking about my past relationships and dating history, and then ghosting me after finding out that I don’t have any experience, an infinite loop of rejection in other words. In addition to the fact that I’m concerned that a lot of women in my dating pool will now have settling down in mind and if they learn that I’ve never dated, they won’t even take me seriously, but to be fair I don’t want to rush into something like that when I’ve never dated. I’ve just lost so much hope in this situation and it seems like my lack of experience is a serious issue, do you have any advice on how to get out of this?

And if they do ask, would saying that you don’t want to talk about that at this point in time work?

Don't ever directly tell a chic that you "don't want to talk about something at this point" on a first date. Doing so raises red flags and makes her feel more uneasy and that you might not be a safe prospect. She will think you are hiding something. Learn to communicate like they do and thats "indirect". Don't over share, don't provide details, be vague. If she asks about your past relationship and it was 10yrs ago, just say you have been focused on your work, family, hobby, etc and haven't really been serious about dating but were seeing a girl a while back. Tell her you would rather be with the right person and thats what you are hoping to find. And then immediately redirect the question to her.

Its always the mans job to lead the conversation and be a good listener. That means you steer it exactly where you want it to go and let her talk 60%-70% of the time.

You can use the "I don't kiss and tell line". But be sure to smile big and make some funny gesture/touch them or something to disarm her when you do. Expressions and personal gestures are more powerful than words.