Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[Bingo-Player]

It is not that "type" of depression though. It's more like something just hits you hard when you see a trigger and see that you don't have that in your life. You get out of it quickly as long as you make a connection with another woman paid/unpaid. If there was no women, or no guy next to a woman hugging each other or the woman being very close to the guy (ie especially if you like the woman yourself), then no trigger and no "depression" right?

Then I guess what your talking about is jealousy or some sort of emotion surrounding that

Again fixed by inner work and self reflection " why am I feeling like this "" why am I being triggered by this"

its your problem not anyone else's

 

[The Duke]

I've never been depressed because I didn't have a chic. But I do get pretty driven to get one. Don't go long without. I doubt I've ever gone longer than 2-3mo without my entire life. If I didn't get out there and make it happen I probably would become depressed. It's up to you, women typically don't show up at your door step. A man goes after what he wants.
Work on yourself, stop making excuses, and get after it.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The only men who are depressed from being single are men who think women can be all-in-one solutions to all their problems. For instance, if they don't have close friends, they might try to get a GF/wife that's also functions as their "best friend", or maybe they don't have a focus/drive in life, so their whole purpose becomes getting a GF. Absolutely pathetic, I have no sympathy.

 

[needimprovement250]

The only men who are depressed from being single/sexless are men who think women can be all-in-one solutions to all their problems. For instance, if they don't have close friends, they might try to get a GF/wife that's also functions as their "best friend", or they don't have any hobbies/interests and their girl becomes their entire focus in life. Pathetic.

I don’t think it would be an all-in-one solution, but being alone all the time does weigh on me and I do think I would feel better than I do right now. Everyone else I know has had a relationship and I’m the only one who’s been alone their whole life, so it isn’t even something that they could even relate to, which makes you feel even more alone in struggling with this.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

Yes. Anyone who says otherwise is coping. Male happiness is connected to women. This is why you don’t see a 6’3 Chad with tons of hot women decide to shoot up the school one day

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

The only men who are depressed from being single are men who think women can be all-in-one solutions to all their problems. For instance, if they don't have close friends, they might try to get a GF/wife that's also functions as their "best friend", or maybe they don't have a focus/drive in life, so their whole purpose becomes getting a GF. Absolutely pathetic, I have no sympathy.

Agreed a lot of dudes thing women will solve all their problems but not having any women will hurt your mental health

 

[corrector]

Then I guess what your talking about is jealousy or some sort of emotion surrounding that

I disagree. If you are starving and seeing other people are having a feast then I don't think that's jealousy. If you have something to eat and other people are eating better food, then that's more like jealousy. If you are starving, that type of stuff makes it feel worst.

Again fixed by inner work and self reflection " why am I feeling like this "" why am I being triggered by this"

I disagree. It's touch starvation. If you are "far from incel" then you can't really understand this since you don't understand what touch-deprivation means since it's not real to you. A warm hug from the opposite sex may be enough to fix everything. Inner work and self reflection does not do anything unless an immediate touch need is fulfilled. It's like saying, saying "I'm going to do inner work to find out why I need to eat food". Does not add up. Unless you are pushed to a point you are willing to pay an escort to cuddle up with you or find a professional cuddler (ie not even any sex), then you don't get it.

 

[corrector]

I've never been depressed because I didn't have a chic. But I do get pretty driven to get one. Don't go long without. I doubt I've ever gone longer than 2-3mo without my entire life. If I didn't get out there and make it happen I probably would become depressed. It's up to you, women typically don't show up at your door step. A man goes after what he wants.
Work on yourself, stop making excuses, and get after it.

Sure, I went out there and you have the "Cringe Lunch and Social Experiment" thread where I got rejected and amogged buy the gay-Tyrone dude.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I disagree. If you are starving and seeing other people are having a feast then I don't think that's jealousy. If you have something to eat and other people are eating better food, then that's more like jealousy. If you are starving, that type of stuff makes it feel worst.



I disagree. It's touch starvation. If you are "far from incel" then you can't really understand this since you don't understand what touch-deprivation means since it's not real to you. A warm hug from the opposite sex may be enough to fix everything. Inner work and self reflection does not do anything unless an immediate touch need is fulfilled. It's like saying, saying "I'm going to do inner work to find out why I need to eat food". Does not add up. Unless you are pushed to a point you are willing to pay an escort to cuddle up with you or find a professional cuddler (ie not even any sex), then you don't get it.

But not having a woman in your life isnt going to kill you , its arbitrary to an extent

Being Starving is completely different analogy

Yea I understand having one is nice of course it is

But theres a **** ton of women in the world of all shapes and sizes .....If a man wants one enough he can get one

It may not be one he specifically wants but he can get something he ain't being pushed to any point by anyone other than himself

women LOVE confident men even if you look like absolute sh1t if your confident and believe in yourself her pu$$y will get wet for you

Anything else is just self defeatist whining talk

@BeExcellent tell them straight out of the horses mouth

 

[The Duke]

Sure, I went out there and you have the "Cringe Lunch and Social Experiment" thread where I got rejected and amogged buy the gay-Tyrone dude.

You keep going, onto the next. Don't let a bad experience bring you down.

 

[corrector]

But not having a woman in your life isnt going to kill you , its arbitrary to an extent

The issue is not about having or not having a woman in your life in my case. Like I said earlier in the thread, I'm not as starving as I was last month. I did hug a caregiver taking care of my mother a few different times and she was receptive to my hug and hugged me. I do have a nice female friend at work, while we may not be hugging, we have a great connection together and try to boost each other up if hitting a hard spot in the sales.

Earlier last month it was more harsh. I literally had $ 70.00 in my wallet and had it in the back of my mind to visit an escort located near the train station to hug/cuddle. I litearlly just make $ 22 /hr gross. To think I would blow out 4 hours of a day's wage for a hug shows, yes, this is not going to kill you, but doesn't stop you from making crazy choices in order to see how it feels to have a woman in your arms.

Being Starving is completely different analogy

Not really. Don't just listen to me. Here is a video from a well known psychologist on youtube:

One point I'll grudgingly concede, as based on this video, is that it effects women too (ie the Black woman in the beginning of the video is wierd since you wouldn't imagine woman having a problem. But the fact that it exists is still an issue).

I didn't watch this video, but based on the title and way that video started it sounds serious enough to me to compare it to starving.

You don't just have to look at things that kill you in order for it to be considered a serious topic.

Yea I understand having one is nice of course it is

You don't need to have a woman in order to have a touch from a woman (ie hug, etc...).

But theres a **** ton of women in the world of all shapes and sizes .....If a man wants one enough he can get one

I disagree. There are other commitments and priorities. It's like saying, you have $ 1000, if you want to blow $800 on an all nighter with an escort you can do so, or you can spend the money on other prorities, such as groceries.

A woman, for example, can't possibly fit into a tight set-up that I have here without taking away where I'll probably be eating allot less and feel like there is less money available for food. That was the experience with my ex-wife in 2014. When you have to take care of a woman too and there is no money, it complicates the situation. (When I was married, my ex-wife was asking for $ 100/week to maintain the marriage, which she spent on pedicures, and other lady stuff etc... which I didn't understand.)

 

[needimprovement250]

but not having any women will hurt your mental health

There is so much truth to this. I feel like my mental health is in pretty bad shape from having never been in love or dated anyone by age 30. I wouldn’t ever resort to violence because of this, but I can definitely feel the negative effects on my mental health.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Agreed a lot of dudes thing women will solve all their problems but not having any women will hurt your mental health

There are a lot of men out there who feel miserable every day because of a woman in their life who is making them unhappy. I don’t think you are right on this one.

 

[Bingo-Player]

There are a lot of men out there who feel miserable every day because of a woman in their life who is making them unhappy. I don’t think you are right on this one.

Yea because the second you emotionally over invest into a woman you are absolutely fvcked

She will either take Total control of the relationship or just keep on testing and testing testing to see if you are capable of maintaining your own mind and hers

a lot of men don't understand a woman has to be secondary in your life she wants to take a spot under you not over you

 

[corrector]

Abusive relationships, although sad, is a red herring argument.

 

[manfrombelow]

At the end of the day, no women can make a man happy.

Yes, good women could contribute to a man's happiness, for example the guy's happy level is 8, and the presence of a good woman could boost that to 9 of 9.5.

But if the guy is having a miserable life, for example his happy level is 3, then no woman could do anything to help with that.

So yeah, a true man doesn't count on women, or any OUTSIDE/EXTERNAL factors for that matter, for his happiness in the long run.

 

[manfrombelow]

That being said, if you're a dude and you're having a miserable life, then the root of that is not from the lack of a woman, but something else, be it discipline, mental health, economy, finance, working out at the gym, good hobbies... etc... ANYTHING BUT woman.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yes, I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

Depression is linked to expectations not being met. The higher your expectations, the deeper the fall.

I keep reminding myself it literally takes one chance encounter with a woman who's keen on you and everything changes immediately

No way can a situation like that be the main cause of depression

Not the cause, but you still put high expectations on another person for changing your mindset.

Depression is part genetic as some people are more prone to depression than others, and depressed parents can influence their children's mindsets enormously during formative years. That influence is also mired in high expectations, disappointment in not meeting these high expectations, having trouble dealing with failure (positive/flexible mindset vs. negative/rigid mindset), and resulting social anxiety / awkwardness.

 

[SW15]

I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

This point makes sense to me.

When a heterosexual man is struggling with the opposite sex, he's not getting his physical needs met. He's also likely not getting his emotional needs met because friendships between heterosexual males and his relationships with family members can only go so far.

What's his motivation to deal with the drudgery of a white collar or blue collar job if he's not getting his physical or emotional needs met?

 

[NealIRC]

Wow I didn’t even know there was someone else like me on the forum. I feel your pain man, are you concerned about women being turned off by your lack of experience as well?

It would never reach that point.

Women only talk to me if I talk to them 1st, and talking to them 1st usually involves asking questions. The challenge is getting women to talk to you. So I sometimes try to walk around shirtless to try to get women to notice me. And that seems to only have an effect on middle school/high school girls and not older.

I try to talk to a lot of Hispanic girls about the gangs in my city, like asking them if they know anyone killed by the police before, and if they do they usually don't mind talking about it heh.