I don't think it's mutually exclusive to have a daughter who wants to look out for her career and not be dependent on her man to live. My mother was like this and was raised in a traditional household. My grandfather actually emphasized this to her, to study and establish a good job for herself so she would not marry for money.
This is exactly how I was raised^^^
I was exactly this girl at that age except I’m 5’6”. I was in LTRs during my 20s (2 years, 5 years, 1 year, 2 years). Next man I dated became my first husband. The amount of interest I got constantly was ridiculous and this was before smart phones and swipe apps.
Thing is
@The Duke is absolutely right. If that is the type woman you want, you hold out for that and you keep your eyes open everywhere you go. The list of BFs I noted above? Here’s how I’d rate them and what they were educated in/did:
Electrical Engineer/MBA/ME PhD: SMV 8, Italian/Indian man, 6’2” trim athletic; gregarious personality which is rare for engineers but seems more common in Indian culture. Dated from 20-22. He cheated & broke my heart & I dropped him after that. Met in nightclub.
Finance/MBA/Rancher: Chad tier model good looks. SMV 9.5. Cross between Charlie Sheen & George Clooney, classic athletic build with V drop from shoulders to waist. He was 6’2” white with 1/8 Cherokee. Great guy, great family. Dated from 22-27.
Found out he had ONS’s behind my back here & there (women constantly threw themselves at this guy), dropped him. Broke his heart. He proposed but the trust was broken. His mother told him he was an idiot & he’d never find another gal like me. He didn’t. Met at a summer pool party.
Business degree/Top (as in actually #1) sales guy in a Fortune 500 company: Wrestlers build, but about a SMV 6.5 in looks. 5’9”. Scratch golfer. Great frame/game & personality but he could not handle my SMV being higher than his over time. Became more & more needy & insecure. Competition CW dancer. Great family. Dated from 27-28. I got sick of his insecurities and I dumped him. Met out CW dancing.
Attending Dentist at NYU: SMV 7.5, Persian. Ranked pro athlete, 5’10” athletic. LDR from 28-30. Got on great but he did not want to be married or have kids (he never has in fact), and that was something on my list of life goals. He has had an Asian live in gf now for 10+ years who works in finance in Manhattan. He’s been in private practice for years. Met on NY subway.
Along the way around 30 I also dated a professional runway male model prior to my husband. 6’4” 185lb fit &trim white guy with jet black hair, Paul Newman eyes, chiseled jaw 5 o’clock shadow by 3pm every day. SMV 10. Stunning man, Chad tier looks. Women threw themselves at this guy too. I dropped him because he was a workaholic and was neurotic. He hated losing me he confessed to a mutual friend years after I married & started a family. Met at first husband’s nightclub before becoming involved with first husband.
This is what the competition looks like OP. These girls are sought after by high value men because these are high value women. You want a bookish girl who is STEM but also hot. She will be intelligent. A beautiful girl who is genuine and smart and fit is what every man wants because this is an unusual combination to find after college/med school etc.
All the men listed above approached me and made their interest known. A science girl is going to be interested in a science guy. You’ve just got to be willing to put yourself out there. Each man (and my first husband as well as my fiancé) all made a “bold move”; they ALL were unequivocal in their interest. I can share exactly what each one did/said if you like but they left NO doubt they were interested in me upon meeting me.
So I never dealt with wishy washy indecisive can’t pick between this girl or that girl (yes 2 thought they’d plate me whilst being in an exclusive LTR, and I ended those relationships once I knew), but this is the landscape your target girl operates in.
Incidently my fiancé is similar to you; Technology career with 6 figure income, Chad tier looks & soccer athlete physique on a 6’3” 180lb frame, white, two master’s degrees, introverted & somewhat socially awkward but he’s good looking enough that women approach him regularly so he’s had no issue getting laid, he’s just tired of empty meaningless interactions with vapid, vacuous and shallow women, irrespective of hotness. Maybe my guy has a more handsome face but you have a lot going for you.
Sand volleyball coed leagues are a good option, so are places like coffee shops or cafes near say U of Miami medical campus or Jackson where STEM women are coming & going near work. Maybe check out lectures in your area on topics of interest. What you need to consider is the environment that your target girl will frequent. That may be a target rich environment. Get up earlier. The typical girl like you describe is going to be a morning person. I’m an anomaly in that regard. I have always enjoyed nightlife (and frankly need an edgy man who also appreciates the nightlife environment or has at least had those experiences in life.)…
Look. Science girls go out on occasion. You just gotta give a little thought to where to circulate.
And don’t fold or freak out if you meet one.
DM if you like.
Edit: Another thought. Have you considered taking a class here or there in your field to learn additional things? You could gain access to women with similar interests there & some might be cute & single. My guy works with a pretty software developer. She is very married.
