iqqi
Master Don Juan
Someone hasn't read confident persistence...
Is it Ever Right to Call a Woman a Second Time if She Doesn't Return Your Call?
- Thread starter Frank2500
- Start date
This is a good point/tip. It follows with the reasoning that there's nothing wrong with using a good lure to bait in your fish. A lot of people say "If a girl's interested in you, she'll make it obvious". Well I don't think they will always make it obvious, women do play games to weed guys out. If a person's idea is he's just going to try one time and if the girl doesn't make it obvious and easy then she gets nexted, then you're going to next a lot of girls and be settling for only the ones that pick you. I know I can't depend on girls I'm attracted to who pick me and make things happen without me having to put some effort into it.STR8UP said:
If you are ever talking to a chick and you feel the convo slipping into a dull rut, thats all you gotta do to get the rapport going again.
I made that mistake with the Lebanese chick. We would talk on the phone for ten of fifteen minutes, and somehow we would get on the subject of the weather or work or some other bullsh!t that had no conductivity, no charge. But when I was out with her I got to talking about my trip to Amsterdam, exotic foods, etc. and you could feel the electricity. For some reason our phone convos tended to stall, which is ok cause I would rather get her face to face anyway.
I made that mistake with the Lebanese chick. We would talk on the phone for ten of fifteen minutes, and somehow we would get on the subject of the weather or work or some other bullsh!t that had no conductivity, no charge. But when I was out with her I got to talking about my trip to Amsterdam, exotic foods, etc. and you could feel the electricity. For some reason our phone convos tended to stall, which is ok cause I would rather get her face to face anyway.
Imo, This is a point that we guys have to take note.iqqi said:
I post a topic about this before. confidence perservance. Quoted from Giovanne Casanova.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=119125
We can't go around nexting women without trying. Ofcourse, don't try too hard.
drmeathead
Senior Don Juan
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i see nothing wrong with calling the second time a few days later. or even a text works better as then they arent worthy of a call. if you call the second time though you should downgrade your plans. if it was dinner and a movie for example on ur first call...the second should be for a round of mini golf or some other date that is a less involved time and economic commitment and it should be on a non date night like a sunday night or a tuesday at lunch time. and when they do call back answer and be brief.
if they dont answer the second call faaack em
if they dont answer the second call faaack em
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
Wait a few days and call her back. Answering machines can fail, calls get lost and batteries die. The electronic toys we depend on are not perfect. If she doesn't respond after 2 calls....then you should next her.
Girls have all kinds of stupid rules and games too. Like "i never call a guy." Or "he has to work for me a little bit." Or they're just too chicken sh1t to initiate a call.DJDamage said:
I don't think i'd call twice since I don't have the patience and i tend to just get mad at women for being stupid and say to hell with them... but i don't see the downside of a second call really.
I've had myspace girls who have written me pages of emails who just stop dead and don't reply back.. then like a week later suddenly reply almost as if it's a test to see if i'll go running around in little circles yelling "where'd she go where'd she go" and when i don't they reinitiate at which point i'll bust on them for it and tell them to give me their number.
Re: An Update
Thanks to you all for your comments. Been away from the computer for a while. I still maintain my personal philosophy: I never call more than once. I have passed that stage. If I were still in my early 20's, maybe I would have tried one or two more times. It's been my experience that a lot of women who won't return your call the first time generally never call you back anyway. I'm not going to let any woman think I'm desperate and frustrated. I just don't have time to put up with unnecessary running around from women. I respect myself.
There was an interesting development after I left the forum after posting last Saturday, though. She actually called my cell but didn't leave me a message. But she sent me a text message saying that she was sorry she wouldn't be able to go out last Saturday and that she leaves for California this Friday...but that after the holidays, she would be available. That was when I was just about to go to the gym. I sent her a text back to acknowledge her message and let her know that was cool...then I teased her saying I hope she wasn't doing a whole ot of cardio when she's as at the gym so that she doesn't end up losing her big booty, because I love it.
Thanks to you all for your comments. Been away from the computer for a while. I still maintain my personal philosophy: I never call more than once. I have passed that stage. If I were still in my early 20's, maybe I would have tried one or two more times. It's been my experience that a lot of women who won't return your call the first time generally never call you back anyway. I'm not going to let any woman think I'm desperate and frustrated. I just don't have time to put up with unnecessary running around from women. I respect myself.
There was an interesting development after I left the forum after posting last Saturday, though. She actually called my cell but didn't leave me a message. But she sent me a text message saying that she was sorry she wouldn't be able to go out last Saturday and that she leaves for California this Friday...but that after the holidays, she would be available. That was when I was just about to go to the gym. I sent her a text back to acknowledge her message and let her know that was cool...then I teased her saying I hope she wasn't doing a whole ot of cardio when she's as at the gym so that she doesn't end up losing her big booty, because I love it.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'd start spinning plates. I don't think she's going to touch base with you too soon.Frank2500 said:
You know sometimes its the ego talking. Frank the tank has a rule that says he won't call a girl second time but alot of it I think is ego invested by thinking: "I am adonis, if this chick doesn't call me again why should i waste time with her, she should be climbing on high mountain just to be with me!". That's fine attitude to have but then again some other guy will be getting to butter her muffin that very night because Frank didn't even bother to call and she had nothing else to do.mrRuckus said:
The reality, it doesn't matter how attractive and charming you think you are, if you don't get a good rapport with a woman, she isn't going to neccessary view you as if you are a god and therefore she doesn't owe you anything.
People say being presistence is an AFC trait but its only if you have the AFC mindest of desperation that it will be a turn off. If you call her again from a position of power and let her be known that you want to see her and through your words, you are a better catch then the other suiters she will know exectly where you stand and who you really are. As you build more rapport, her attraction with you will be higher and therefore during that time if she doesn't return your calls, then you know all hopes lost.
But I will repeat myself, early on, a woman doesn't owe you anything. I believe that little rapport early on in the seduction phase (while getting her number) results in situations like this. So intead of just asking a woman for her number, talk to her a little bit more, get her excited about you and laugh at your jokes, tighten that part of the game that needs to be tighten and you won't worry about her not returning your call.
Re:
Based on the vibe and rapport that I noticed with this woman the first time I talked to her at the gym, I noticed that I was able to make her laugh in terms of most of the things I said. While I do respect the very last poster's suggestion, I repeat again that I personally think I'm past that stage where I feel as if I should be calling any woman more than once. Some of you don't get it. This isn't about me thinking I am superior or a "god," to use some of your words. But I have had enough past experiences to lead me to firmly conclude that I wouldn't be doing things that way anymore. I just don't have the time to be chasing women down like that.
In terms of that same woman, I'm definitely not putting all my plates on her at all. I've seen it all as far as dating goes, so in case that's just her way of playing the game, it's all good. Life goes on...my feelings won't be hurt.
Based on the vibe and rapport that I noticed with this woman the first time I talked to her at the gym, I noticed that I was able to make her laugh in terms of most of the things I said. While I do respect the very last poster's suggestion, I repeat again that I personally think I'm past that stage where I feel as if I should be calling any woman more than once. Some of you don't get it. This isn't about me thinking I am superior or a "god," to use some of your words. But I have had enough past experiences to lead me to firmly conclude that I wouldn't be doing things that way anymore. I just don't have the time to be chasing women down like that.
In terms of that same woman, I'm definitely not putting all my plates on her at all. I've seen it all as far as dating goes, so in case that's just her way of playing the game, it's all good. Life goes on...my feelings won't be hurt.
DJDamage said:
which comes back to my hypothesis on eye contact. if you have good eye contact you've got rapport.
this is a bit out there, but i believe most of the time you can predict how a woman will behave simply based on how much eye contact you get from her.
a woman who looks you in the eyes a lot is a women with very high interest level. a woman who engages you with standard eye contact (ie. looks for a second,t hen looks away, then looks for another second, the looks away - basically the same kind of eye contact that you'd get from just about anyone) will exhibit low IL behaviors.
a bit simplistic i know, but from my experience eye contact behavior is probably one of the most tell tale signs of a womans interest level.
if im having dinner with a woman and she keeps looking in to my eyes, more so than even i may be comfortable with, it generally indicates the runway is open for a clean landing.
Let me share a fair bit of my story that just happened last week.
The exact same thing happens to me. Got to know this chick through a friend 2 weeks ago, some rapport done. got her number and call around 5 days later, we went out for dinner and some singing, had a lot in common to talk about.
Afterwhich i called her a few days later, she didn't answer nor call me back.. At first, i have the thinking that she may not be interested so i decided to call her again a few days later. Similarly, she did not pick up the phone, so i drop a sms which says something like "Hey XXX, i will be going to xxx place to get some xmas present, a female opinion will be great, do join me =)"
She called me back 20mins later and said she's terribly sorry for missing the call as her phone is at the bedroom. She's free and we went out the next day (which's yesterday), BAM. Good rapport and date went really well.
I mean. What's wrong with the 2nd call? It doesn't make you an extreme AFC. You can't expect a girl to like you 100% from the getgo. Just try man.. its a numbers game.
Confident persistence...
The exact same thing happens to me. Got to know this chick through a friend 2 weeks ago, some rapport done. got her number and call around 5 days later, we went out for dinner and some singing, had a lot in common to talk about.
Afterwhich i called her a few days later, she didn't answer nor call me back.. At first, i have the thinking that she may not be interested so i decided to call her again a few days later. Similarly, she did not pick up the phone, so i drop a sms which says something like "Hey XXX, i will be going to xxx place to get some xmas present, a female opinion will be great, do join me =)"
She called me back 20mins later and said she's terribly sorry for missing the call as her phone is at the bedroom. She's free and we went out the next day (which's yesterday), BAM. Good rapport and date went really well.
I mean. What's wrong with the 2nd call? It doesn't make you an extreme AFC. You can't expect a girl to like you 100% from the getgo. Just try man.. its a numbers game.
Confident persistence...
Re:
To the poster who did send a text message to a woman who wasn't returning his calls after he called her twice, I think there are a few exceptions, but I still believe that in general, if she is interested enough, she will call you after your first call and not remain silent for that long. I've had enough experiences in that domain.
To the poster who did send a text message to a woman who wasn't returning his calls after he called her twice, I think there are a few exceptions, but I still believe that in general, if she is interested enough, she will call you after your first call and not remain silent for that long. I've had enough experiences in that domain.
Just to Add...
Just to add, I too have sent text messages a couple days later to women who didn't return my calls. They still never responded. It may depend on the woman, but in most cases, if the woman is interested in getting to know you, you won't have to wait that long or not get any response at all after the first call. So I still stick to my personal philosophy-no call more than once.
Just to add, I too have sent text messages a couple days later to women who didn't return my calls. They still never responded. It may depend on the woman, but in most cases, if the woman is interested in getting to know you, you won't have to wait that long or not get any response at all after the first call. So I still stick to my personal philosophy-no call more than once.
Re: Informal Poll
All right, I do respect everyone's opinions, but I still stick to my conclusion that I choose not to call anyone more than once based on my own personal experiences. However, I'd like us to take some time and do an informal poll. Simply reply to this by saying "yes" or "no" if you think a man should call a woman a second time or more than two times after waiting a few days without getting a return phone call from her. I stick to my original "no." If someone can help me tally the number of "nos" and "yes" that we get, that would be interesting, just for fun. But no matter the results, my decision remains, "no."
All right, I do respect everyone's opinions, but I still stick to my conclusion that I choose not to call anyone more than once based on my own personal experiences. However, I'd like us to take some time and do an informal poll. Simply reply to this by saying "yes" or "no" if you think a man should call a woman a second time or more than two times after waiting a few days without getting a return phone call from her. I stick to my original "no." If someone can help me tally the number of "nos" and "yes" that we get, that would be interesting, just for fun. But no matter the results, my decision remains, "no."
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
Correct for the most part. But, I've had success with throwing out a text message maybe 10 days or so after the initial call. Something like "Are you around?" She responded and we went on a date. She had a high interest level on the date too.guru1000 said:
Exactly.DJDamage said:
I'm all about not giving chicks too much leeway, but in the very beginning you're gonna miss out on a lot of opportunities if you don't put your ego aside and do a simple follow up. Women across the board are just too flakey and unpredictable before their interest level is high, and it usually takes some time to get it there.
Like you alluded to.....you just might catch her at the right time when she's bored and looking for something to do, or even sulking over the guy who she liked before who finally blew her off for the last time. If your timing is good you will be her shining star.
Like at this Halloween party I went to. One of the chicks there I have always had a vibe with. That night was no exception. Every time i would turn around she would be there and we would chat for a minute till I would get distracted and move on.
Later her friend told me that she was really sad that night. i don't know the reason, probably a guy, but I could have likely swooped in for the kill.
All women have needs to be filled, and if those needs aren't filled by one or more men there will be voids that allow you to work your way into. That second call or follow up text might just set the wheels in motion if she's in the right mood.
Funny to think about, but it's true....a woman's mood one day could determine whether or not a relationship happens.
It's always wise to follow up!
