Is 30 too old?

[Spence]

I've had and been medicated for depression for a decade, I have intimacy issues and am very love shy when it comes to expressing myself sexually with women.

I'm 30 and am pretty much a virgin. I do feel like I really missed the boat on women and girls and feel like its so far and late down the line that its irrepairable.

I won't bore you with too many details, but I am told I'm very good looking, and I've been hit on many times in the last decade by hot girls, with each of these girls I spent my time and energy focusing on masking my depression rather just interacting normally with her clubs/bars etc. they could all tell something was wrong and some bolted, some girls persisted but with depression eating my insides I'd always have to go home or leave the scene.

So is 30 too late? My friends around me have all finished messing around and many of them are getting married. I just wanted to date and sleep with a 22 year old just once in my life, I feel like its too late now to mess around like one should in their early 20s. I'm just coming out of the illness slowly now, although it has stolen my youth already.

 

[logicallefty]

I married my high school GF when I was 23. We divorced when I was 30, and at this point in my life I had only slept with her. I also had never even been drunk or been in a strip club at age 30 either.

Ten years later at 40, I can say I have slept with a wide range of women between 22 and 47, including 3 virgins which aren't as exciting (to me) as most people think. I prefer women with experience. In any case, my 30s were really the start of my adult life. My 20s before that were very dull and boring. My 30s were also filled with levels of stress that I didn't think were possible, including getting married to a woman who was a bigamist. Still, if I could go back in time today to any age and start from that point, it would be 30.

Don't worry, the fun may just be starting for you.

 

[MtnMan]

hell no its not to late. There are dudes in their 40's that bang girls in their 20's.

Lets be real though, you have A LOT of work to do. You might want to consider banging a decent prostitute just to get the mechanics of sex down a bit. I probably would do this in your situation. I remember being real nervous about actually doing the deed, until I actually did it.

If you want to get good with women, the information is on this site and others. But you must put in the work.

Its not to late, you just need to want it for real.

I am not a virgin by any means, but I lived in LTR land from 20-30 and thus missed out on my prime "hooking up" years.

At first I felt like all hope is lost, but now after learning some game and seeing positive results, I realize I can still game girls all I want at 30 and above.

 

[Mike32ct]

I fooled around with a few 21yos at 30. I most definitely could have F-ed them, but I wasn't aggressive enough due to inexperience.

That's really the point here. Your age isn't THAT big a deal. Most 30 yo guys still look late 20s.

The frustrating part is you might blow a few opportunities due to inexperience. But that's ok. F-ing up is good for your game in the long run.

Get out there, and get started.

 

[Zarky]

30 is the start of an excellent sex life for lots of guys. Unless you're extremely attractive and extraverted, the 20s are pretty bad years for sex for most guys.

I tell guys in their 20s to simply avoid dying, avoid going to jail for a long time, and avoid marriage and kids, and they'll be good to go in their 30s.

 

[Spence]

Lets be real though, you have A LOT of work to do. You might want to consider banging a decent prostitute just to get the mechanics of sex down a bit. I probably would do this in your situation. I remember being real nervous about actually doing the deed, until I actually did it.

Yea I've already slept with some high class hookers, actually just as therapy for the illness (some members of my family suggested and encouraged it to help my mental health). When it comes to sex itself there is no problem, I seem to be something of a natural in that department. I still class it as virginity however because it never happened naturally.

It's what happens in between a girl clearly showing you signs of attraction, i.e. stroking your hand, then intimacy and sex that is the problem for me.

Before depression when I was a teenager I used to suffer some anxiety with attractive girls (normal I think to everyone), but in my 20s when depression hit me that feeling actually became like a rat eating your insides, it is a feeling like needing to commit suicide, very difficult to hide it and it can be read on your face, women can read it.

It also means I cannot drink alcohol because that starts a depressive episode even when I take extra medication before going out, and that means I have to go home and curl up in bed until the storm passes.

There are a few other aspects to me also that are a problem 1) is I'm introverted and 2) sexually submissive. Both are hardwired in me, especially no.2 and although I have regular sex fantasies also it is an emotional requirement and there are very few sexually dominant women out there in my experience and it gives me no pleasure to dominate a woman in bed (which is what many of them want), being the sexual aggressor doesn't seem natural to me, but not responding or going with females initiating is one of my problems.

I have been told by 21 year olds I'm too old in bars and clubs, happened not once between 28-30. It really pains me that I didn't get to experience young love as a young man.

 

[Mike32ct]

Plenty of 25-28 yo women are hot. Even if she's not 21, it's no big deal.

 

[Spence]

Plenty of 25-28 yo women are hot. Even if she's not 21, it's no big deal.

Many of the ones I meet are looking for serious relationships. I'm in the UK so can't speak for the US. High class birds here in inner city London clubs have really quite high standards, you have to be a good earner, banker, experienced, confident etc. I am none of those although I have the same education as them.

Also I would have loved to have experienced 21-23 year olds which is out of bounds I think now for me.

I must also note I'm not really the type of guy who wants to go around sleeping with a new girl every week, I would have liked maybe 5 steady relationships to date with girls in their 20s. I think that is definitely too late for that now, (ideally I would have like to have settled down by 30 like many of my friends).

I'll be getting married what when I'm 40 if I try that? Thats really too late in my book, and also pathetic trying to date younger girls to catch up. All my friends did very well in their 20s, and everyone thinks the only reason I don't have a girlfriend is can't stop having one night stands.

 

[GS750]

I agree with logicallefty. My 20's were spent finishing up college, getting a job, buying a home, getting my life in order. I flunked out of high school so I was a bit behind everyone else but got it all handled by 25 or so. I just turned 34 on Monday and can say that my 30's have been by far the happiest time in my life. I've dated girls 21-30 recently. Do what you can to improve yourself and make it happen.

 

[Spence]

I agree with logicallefty. My 20's were spent finishing up college, getting a job, buying a home, getting my life in order. I flunked out of high school so I was a bit behind everyone else but got it all handled by 25 or so. I just turned 34 on Monday and can say that my 30's have been by far the happiest time in my life. I've dated girls 21-30 recently. Do what you can to improve yourself and make it happen.

Yes but do you feel comfortable dating a 21 year old? I'm 30 and I know I am not comfortable with that anymore, there is a huge maturity gap, even up to 24 year olds. Maybe in the US its ok, but it is frowned upon in the UK by most including myself.

For me it would be like playing catch up and spending my 30s messing around rather than dating within my natural age range throughout my life.

 

[Induced Drag]

Of course not. It's all relative. The only people who'll look at you as old are probably barely old enough to drive. (16 in the states).

 

[Tictac]

Nope.

Late is fine. Especially if you're starting here to gain some insights.

 

[Trump]

So is 30 too late? My friends around me have all finished messing around and many of them are getting married. I just wanted to date and sleep with a 22 year old just once in my life, I feel like its too late now to mess around like one should in their early 20s. I'm just coming out of the illness slowly now, although it has stolen my youth already.

Bro to sleep with a good looking 22 year old girl is tough, their stock price is like $100/share. They usually won't sleep with an average 30 year old unless you have something that stands out. Smooth talker, looks, money, status, experience, whatever.

Once their value starts dropping and they want to get married, you will have a lot more leverage. They will have slept with all the guys they can handle and will take anything before their looks dry up.

I would have sex with some 30 year olds, get some experience and then when you have several under your belt and know what you are doing, you can go after the younger ones. The good looking young ones are tough though, you have to know what you are doing with them or they will make your head spin and laugh you out of the room.

The good news is once you know how to play the game, you just sit back and make their head spin.

 

[Serenity]

I've had and been medicated for depression for a decade, I have intimacy issues and am very love shy when it comes to expressing myself sexually with women.

Your life and your life satisfaction matters to you. Does the risk of going out there outweigh the risk of dying alone and miserable?

I'm 30 and am pretty much a virgin. I do feel like I really missed the boat on women and girls and feel like its so far and late down the line that its irrepairable.

There's no such thing as too late. There is no such thing as irrepairable (chrome even gives it the red line). There are millions of boats (women) out there still waiting for a passenger (you). Preferably you are the boat that takes her for a ride.

I won't bore you with too many details, but I am told I'm very good looking, and I've been hit on many times in the last decade by hot girls, with each of these girls I spent my time and energy focusing on masking my depression rather just interacting normally with her clubs/bars etc. they could all tell something was wrong and some bolted, some girls persisted but with depression eating my insides I'd always have to go home or leave the scene.

Depression is depression, it won't go away by dwelling in or about it. Don't give it your attention, don't feed it. It will die, just resist the temptation of being depressed. Focus your attention, time and energy on getting what you want. Don't be afraid, just go for it. If you have that pointlessness kind of depression, that's awesome. Pointlessness is the perfect justification for doing anything. If your looks gets you positive responses just keep it the way it is.

So is 30 too late? My friends around me have all finished messing around and many of them are getting married. I just wanted to date and sleep with a 22 year old just once in my life, I feel like its too late now to mess around like one should in their early 20s. I'm just coming out of the illness slowly now, although it has stolen my youth already.

It's never to late, the sooner you get going the more quickly your life improves. And just by getting women your life satisfaction will probably improve ten fold. Fvck the past, fvck your friends, fvck expectations, this is all about you and your life. Your life, your choice! Now go grasp that freedom, I'm cheering for you

 

[3agle 3yes]

In my experience women prefer men who are older.

Besides, you've got to be kidding thinking that 30 is too old. Do you look old? I hardly ever tell women my age...and if they're curious LIE, it has nothing to do with anything....it's not a job interview.

With women occasionally it's a LTR, sometimes it's short, or it could be a fling, a ONS, If a woman is interested in you the LAST thing she's thinking about is how old you are unless you have grey hair, wrinkles and/or are balding.

 

[Teddy_Beer]

Is 30 too late? Hell the f*ck NO!!! In fact your life is just beginning!!! In my experience, I was still learning about life in my 20s. Some experiences have been more pleasant, some have been less pleasant. In the end, it's about living the life YOU want to live.

 

[In2theGame]

30 is definitely not old. Im 31 and ive been messing with girls who are in the range of 19 - 22 years old lol. Also, The better shape you are the younger you will look. These young girls are wild.

 

[Spence]

Thanks guys for your input.

Bro to sleep with a good looking 22 year old girl is tough, their stock price is like $100/share. They usually won't sleep with an average 30 year old unless you have something that stands out. Smooth talker, looks, money, status, experience, whatever.

Once their value starts dropping and they want to get married, you will have a lot more leverage. They will have slept with all the guys they can handle and will take anything before their looks dry up.

Well you see this is exactly my point and experience. The natural dating range for a 22 year old girl is up to 26 I'd say, up to 28 with a push. Depression has also destroyed my career, and I am now picking up those pieces, so I am neither wealthy nor have status. There are plenty of 26 year olds in high flying jobs who have messed around, so the competition for these girls way out ranks me.

I had many hot 22 year old girls hitting on me when I was 22-26, but my mental illness disabled me acting on it. I personally wouldn't feel ok dating a 22 year old now.

It's like I would be trying to play catch up. This is I why I'm thinking maybe it's just best I close the book and accept I missed out.

To be honest I'm not a ONS type of guy, more into longer term relationships and the time for that in my book has really dried out, I have maybe 2-3 years before its time to get serious, and I don't see and wouldn't enjoy the concept of banging a new chick every week.

I'd like to write more but I have to go now.

 

[Zarky]

Keep in mind that super young chicks are way overrated, IMHO. There isn't a huge difference between banging a 23 yo vs a 26 yo but the bullsh*t that goes along with the 23 yo is far, far greater than the 26 yo.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Jesus god alive mate sounds like you’ve condemned yourself to wallow around in self pity for the rest of your years

“A good looking man is like a fine malt whiskey he simply gets better with age.....”

You’re in the prime of your life and your wasting it worrying about depression and anxiety

All of your issues are self manifested and therefore can be corrected as long as you have the inner strength to correct them

get out of London ,go somewhere less hectic, get some ecstasy maybe some weed too and start socialising like fvck !!