Iron Rules of Tomassi

[HaremMasterThomas]

It has to be said that "Rollo Tomassi" is one of the few true DJ's who posts on this website.

Everything he writes is truth, perhaps the thing that stood out to me here, is never settle for a babe whom you don't desire.

Its much better to be alone than it is too be in a miserable relationship with a babe that you don't like, thats very true.

Never brag about the babes you've fvcked, many DJ wannabe's do this, I see it all the time, I'm affraid it doesn't work.

However in saying this it is of extreme importance that you give off the impression of being the guy the hottest babes desire.

It seems contradictory and in reality it is, the way around it is to talk in a confident manner that makes her beleive that the hottest babes would desire to be with you.

I heard that "Rollo Tomassi" was going to write a book, I'm not sure if he has done it or not, I do learn a lot from his posts.

 

[Mr.Positive]

One of the sexiest guys I met last year was terrific at self deprecation - it was witty, fun, and a total turn ON.

I think when a woman is attracted to a man, he all of a sudden has a great "sense of humor". Being funny is subjective, and laughing is really an emotion. An emotion that is often triggered by attraction, IMO.

I think it's hillarious how many women think their husband should be the next Frank Calliendo, when in reality, the guy really isn't that funny.

So, point is, if you are talking to a woman and you have her laughing, it's a good sign that she not only thinks you are funny, but you have the attraction going for you too.

 

[iqqi]

I think when a woman is attracted to a man, he all of a sudden has a great "sense of humor". Being funny is subjective, and laughing is really an emotion. An emotion that is often triggered by attraction, IMO.

I think it's hillarious how many women think their husband should be the next Frank Calliendo, when in reality, the guy really isn't that funny.

So, point is, if you are talking to a woman and you have her laughing, it's a good sign that she not only thinks you are funny, but you have the attraction going for you too.

That is kind of true. But attraction can also come from a man having a sense of humor. I know many cases where a person was not initially into someone, but ended up in a LTR with them, after becoming attracted to them primarily due to that someone's humor.

In my example of that specific guy I mentioned in my other posts here, he first made a self depreciating joke, then I followed it up with something funny, then he came back with something else (all making fun of one certain trait of his). After a minute, I was like "damn. What a great guy... I LOVE this guy." So yes, intially I thought he was kind of cute, but after that, I was hooked!

 

[MacAvoy]

iqqi, did you have sex with him?

 

[iqqi]

iqqi, did you have sex with him?

None of your beeswax, you!

 

[MacAvoy]

I guess he wasn't all that sexy, he might have been humorous & attractive, but he wasn't sexy enough to jump his bones.

 

[iqqi]

I guess he wasn't all that sexy, he might have been humorous & attractive, but he wasn't sexy enough to jump his bones.

WTH. I thought I said none of your beeswax, not NO. ??

You obviously have projected your own ideas (and insecurities?) onto my friend (that GUY^^^^)!!

 

[MacAvoy]

What friend?

 

[Mr. Me]

If he was SHORT or OBESE or UNEMPLOYED or SMELLED BAD or had DANDRUF or YELLOW TEETH or had ANGRY ISSUES...do you think he could have pulled that out?

Herein is the problem with this thread: we're debating based on different understandings of what it means to self-deprecate, regarding successful interfacing with women.

Just as the phrase "You're looking great" can be delivered anywhere from complimentary to desperate to sarcastic or mocking, so can a self-deprecating comment have a range of delivery.

To do so successfully means not to launch self-directed put downs that draw attention to faults but to obviously exaggerate absurdly evident non-issues. Done in a sarcastic/dry wit way, it comes off as flippant, not self-effacing.

I think when a woman is attracted to a man, he all of a sudden has a great "sense of humor". Being funny is subjective

That's right. Conversely, after she's dumped him and has lost attraction, the same jokes she used to laugh at now get this reaction: "He's such an a$$hole. He's not even funny."

This raises another point. If a woman feels attraction for a man and will laugh at his stupid jokes even when they're not funny, then self-deprecating humor (done right) will also result in the same.

he first made a self depreciating joke, then I followed it up with something funny, then he came back with something else (all making fun of one certain trait of his). After a minute, I was like "damn. What a great guy... I LOVE this guy." So yes, intially I thought he was kind of cute, but after that, I was hooked!

You mean a "self-deprecating" joke. By definition, a "self-depreciating" joke would be a joke that goes down in value as soon as it's told, like a car that gets driven off the lot. Comedians wouldn't be able to do their routine more than once.

What I think happened in the example you gave, is that what engaged you was the exchange of dry wit or sarcastic banter. You got attracted to his personality. That's a hook.

 

[iqqi]

You mean a "self-deprecating" joke. By definition, a "self-depreciating" joke would be a joke that goes down in value as soon as it's told, like a car that gets driven off the lot. Comedians wouldn't be able to do their routine more than once.

Dammit, Mr. Me, DAMmit. I was typing fast, and I knew it sounded funny... hey! It IS kinda funny!

 

[Latinoman]

I think when a woman is attracted to a man, he all of a sudden has a great "sense of humor". Being funny is subjective, and laughing is really an emotion. An emotion that is often triggered by attraction, IMO.

I think it's hillarious how many women think their husband should be the next Frank Calliendo, when in reality, the guy really isn't that funny.

So, point is, if you are talking to a woman and you have her laughing, it's a good sign that she not only thinks you are funny, but you have the attraction going for you too.

One of the ways...I know a woman has the HOTS for me is by saying something relatively stupid (but "trying" to be funny) and see her reaction. If she LAUGHES or even GIGGLES (the younger ones tend to do that)...I already know she has the HOTS for me. If she says, "What?" or look at me kind of confused...then I know I have to work a little harder...or there is simply no attraction.

 

[Latinoman]

Um... what? Come on now. The only thing you said right was that, yes, I am only ONE woman, lol. I definately ain't TWO women, haha! And yes, I do have A friend that is 21. I have some that are 23, and 27, and 28, and 32, and so on as well.

But since your arguments against me have started to take a downward turn into flame baiting and irrationality, I shall be out! Peace out, Latinoman.

As I said...Your "ass"essments and "ass"umptions are making a double azz out of you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

And I'll say again, it's healthy to have a laugh at your own expense when you slip on a banana peel. It's entirely a different thing to apologize for being a "complete douche" with a woman you'd like to become intimate with, even if it's just casually.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Personally, I think its okay to crack on yourself, as long as its something you are confident and comfortable with. A lot of people self-deprecate as a backhanded way of fishing for compliments and that my friends, is weak.

It's not so much what you say as the intent behind it.

 

[Colossus]

The self-deprecation thing makes sense. A quip at yourself from time to time is one thing, but dont put all your shortcomings up on a stage and make a comedy out of them. I dont agree with all of RT's rules, but i think this is a good one.

I have a rule for myself that I have recently adopted. When you make mistake, fvck up, or pull a d!ck move, apologize ONCE and then move on.

I think it is massively AFC to apologize profusely for your mistakes, even if you did something careless or inconsiderate. Own up to it, apologize if appropriate, and move on. Dont make excuses, dont say you will never do it again, dont wallow in self-loathing for your mistake.

This just happened to me. I got completely ****ed the other night and fooled around with this girl at her house while another girl I am sort of seeing was there. Yes, it was a d1ck move on my part. I could have apologized to her profusely, saying I am such an assh0le and made all sorts of self-deprecating comments about myself in light of the situation.

But, I stopped myself, sent her a brief and concise apology and left the ball in her court. That's it. No groveling or repeated asking of forgiveness. I used to do that all the time and I think in doing so I only emasculated myself.

 

[Señor Fingers]

I think it is massively AFC to apologize profusely for your mistakes, even if you did something careless or inconsiderate. Own up to it, apologize if appropriate, and move on. Dont make excuses, dont say you will never do it again, dont wallow in self-loathing for your mistake.

Great point, and one that I think that applies to any relationship.. its a turn-off when people are too apologetic and wishy-washy. You just want to smack some backbone into them.

 

[Sandow]

I agree. A man that can make fun of himself comes across as much more confident than a man who is too insecure to seem without flaws. Nothing is MORE a turn off than a man who is too serious about himself!

One of the sexiest guys I met last year was terrific at self deprecation - it was witty, fun, and a total turn ON.

Now he wasn't beating himself up or anything, just rolling with the punches so to speak, as in taking a punch, delivering one himself even, but he carried if off very well because it was obvious he respected himself and felt comfortable with himself, and most importantly... he didn't take himself TOO seriously.

It's sexy because your not taking yourself too serious. Now, I find myself pretty successful with women, and my self deprecating jokes just come off really funny. It shows that I'm able to laugh at myself, and that brings me down to earth, sorta say.

It relates with revealing your insecurities or vulnerabilities. It displays honesty and that ur not some egotistical maniac.

When i first came on this board i would never say anything self deprecating. But I changed that and I found out that its actually prety funny if your jokes are good. Bottom Line, I think it makes you look like a fun guy who doesn't take himself too serious.

 

[STR8UP]

Scientific studies have shown that a person's status has an effect on other people perception of their height.

I'm 5'8", but I have social status. Would it make sense for me to walk around making fun of the fact that I'm not 6' tall?

You just start dating a new chick. You think your ears are too big. She finds you attractive. You would be INSULTING her by making fun of your own appearance.

There are many other ways to display confidence that won't serve to knock you down or insult another person.

 

[LoneSilver]

Thanks eyedogg, I appreciated the encouragment. Though it's been a ***** lately I'll master this thing eventually and hopefully won't be so self consious.

LoneSilver

Lonsilver,

Brother - hang in there man! I can't say I have anything physically challenging me and that should be a STRONG message to other MEN in here; that if you have all your physical abilities - stop being a big fat WIMP and stand up. Don't be scared, don't be shy - Sarge your way through life - NOT the other way around.

Regards,
eyedogg

 

[Martin Shabazz Jr.]

IMO, self-deprecating is like the opposite of ****y&funny.

There are times when a woman may feel YOU are out of HER league for whatever reason and essentially reject herself. What self-depracating does in this situation is level the playing field.

Like an extreme example is if you are a DJ with movie star looks, has a horse ****, is built like a Men's health model, and has a six figure salary to boot a little self-deprecating is going to go a long way.