internet dating

[Francisco d'Anconia]

^ I put a profile on an internet dating site (a free one, don't use the pay ones - it's not in their interest for you to find a date at all), ....

Dude, in comparison, women on the free sites put much less on the line than women who pay for subscriptions. Why are you concerned about the dating site and their profits? Think about it, which women would have a larger interest in meeting you, ones who are paying a fee and want to get something in return or ones on free sites who have absolutely nothing to lose?

 

[Jeremymichael]

well you only have to look at guys in bars to see how many are actors, shouting and showing off just to get the ladies. How tiring, I am just myself, but I do see the need to sell yourself.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

well you only have to look at guys in bars to see how many are actors, shouting and showing off just to get the ladies. How tiring, I am just myself, but I do see the need to sell yourself.

Here's the secret on how to deal with those guys; be different. This doesn't mean that you need to wear a fur top hat and goggles (if you don't want to). Personally, tickling her mind tends to get you closer to tickling other things.

 

[Mr. Me]

at any date you would have to be a circus clown

You always have to be the circus clown if you want to get under her Big Top.

 

[Jeremymichael]

You always have to be the circus clown if you want to get under her Big Top.

haha- like it

 

[Latinoman]

I find internet dating is just like the real thing. First rule is you need a picture. Second you have to be ****y & funny in both your profile and in your email. The reason why most men fail is because they are very boring in their initial email.

Thirdly its very important to get them offline ASAP if you want any chance of success.

The exact same premises are used online as in the real world. Your going to find flakes online just like you do in real life. Attraction is attraction, you need to attract the women not be the boring guy that goes up to the girl and asks her to dance, you got to get her attention first so that your the prize.

HUGE difference...in real world, a woman will notice you and your mannerisms WAY before you might even see her. So, her INITIAL opinion about you is going to be based on how you walked, stood up, and moved when you were NOT expecting a woman to check you out. In another words, she most likely check you out when you are NOT at your best posture because you are not expecting her to check you out (after all, you have not seen her).

On-line you already have a profile showing your best "posture" for lack of better words. Make no mistake about comparing both as they are not the same.

 

[MacAvoy]

HUGE difference...in real world, a woman will notice you and your mannerisms WAY before you might even see her. So, her INITIAL opinion about you is going to be based on how you walked, stood up, and moved when you were NOT expecting a woman to check you out.

That is exactly my point. They are doing the exact same thing, they base their attraction to you on your profile and your COMMUNICATION with them, now in this case, the only communication is written, there is no mannerisms to be judged, so the one thing, your written communication is that much more important.

 

[Latinoman]

That is exactly my point. They are doing the exact same thing, they base their attraction to you on your profile and your COMMUNICATION with them, now in this case, the only communication is written, there is no mannerisms to be judged, so the one thing, your written communication is that much more important.

I am sure a good picture will help too.

Here is the thing...email is something you can sit down and ask somebody in So Suave to draft for you. You can google search topics and sound smart. In real person (during first approach)...you have to truly be good at talking about topics as you won't have somebody standing by you or google search.

Sure...eventually people meet. But when you do your initial meeting after Internet...if you are cold footed (but had great email combo)...she might give you the benefit of the doubt. Real life initial combo (where there is no email setting the path) can cost you a possible date if you fumble from the very begining.

 

[MacAvoy]

I agree. I'm not suggesting that you can get a women to fall madly in love with you strictly online. Thats why I said to take it offline ASAP, so you can utilize your live game, where you have that many more tactics in your arsenal.

 

[the_absolute]

Dude, in comparison, women on the free sites put much less on the line than women who pay for subscriptions. Why are you concerned about the dating site and their profits? Think about it, which women would have a larger interest in meeting you, ones who are paying a fee and want to get something in return or ones on free sites who have absolutely nothing to lose?

Frankly I don't think I want to recruit from a pool of desperation, nor am I interested in any woman who wants to "put out" off some porn-ish site.

Having said that, I have heard of one site that's only for "hot" people. that might be worth a try.

I only mess with the online thing for a joke really, and I don't recommend anyone take it seriously. I could tell you a story or two about broads some of my friends have met online and the ensuing chaos.

 

[MacAvoy]

I only mess with the online thing for a joke really, and I don't recommend anyone take it seriously. I could tell you a story or two about broads some of my friends have met online and the ensuing chaos.

And I could tell you a hundred stories about some of the girls my friends met in real life and the ensuing chaos.

 

[frivolousz21]

Get Ripped and put some of those pics up of yourself on myspace.


and you will have a ton of women coming after you.

thats gold.



3 years ago when myspace was relatively new..Id say this is from late 2004-05.

I was doing ok on there..not to much.considering the amount of women Id message.

then I posted a picture of my sister and I..I didn't have my shirt off..but it was clear in that picture I had a rock hard in shape body.

all of a sudden the number of women respondents when up 30 percent at least.

 

[Luveno]

I've done quite well on myspace and hotornot when it comes to dating.

I recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone who would like to have an adjunct to meeting girls in the real world, or if their time is taken up by work or other important obligations.

A ripped figure will definitely help a man get attention from girls. However, it is not entirely necessary. What's more important is to have a razor sharp wit and high standards. Ultimately, the most important thing for internet dating is that you have a good face shot. This is an unfortunate point for ugly men, since they cannot change their faces. If you have a terrible face, better get to the gym, become ripped, and you can find a girl who wouldn't mind doing a butterfaced guy - girls like this are usually good looking but low on the socioeconomic scale.

 

[Latinoman]

I've done quite well on myspace and hotornot when it comes to dating.

I recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone who would like to have an adjunct to meeting girls in the real world, or if their time is taken up by work or other important obligations.

A ripped figure will definitely help a man get attention from girls. However, it is not entirely necessary. What's more important is to have a razor sharp wit and high standards. Ultimately, the most important thing for internet dating is that you have a good face shot. This is an unfortunate point for ugly men, since they cannot change their faces. If you have a terrible face, better get to the gym, become ripped, and you can find a girl who wouldn't mind doing a butterfaced guy - girls like this are usually good looking but low on the socioeconomic scale.

I agree with this.

Although...ugly in our eyes does not necessary translate into ugly for women. I hear women using the "ugly-hot" when referring to a man that are not "pretty" but have something attractive for the women. I hear women consider men like Benicio del Toro as "hot" (a man that quite honestly is ugly) and Billy Bob Thorton and Sean Penn as ugly hot.

In case you don't know who those guys are.

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/men/benicio-del-toro/pictures/benicio-del-toro-picture-1.jpg - Benicio del Toro

http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Profiles/20061007/244.thornton.billy.100506.jpg - Billy Bob Thornton

http://data1.blog.de/blog/c/cinemania/img/sean_penn.jpg - Sean Penn

I don't consider myself pretty...but some women find me either good looking or "handsome" or "cute" or "sexy". And quite honestly I find it bizarre...as I havve never found myself "pretty". Heck...even some men have asked if I'm a "ladies man".

My point is...what we as men might find "attractive" in a men...it could be potentially the oposite. One thing is for sure...masculinity is an attractive quality.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Frankly I don't think I want to recruit from a pool of desperation, nor am I interested in any woman who wants to "put out" off some porn-ish site.

I make it a priority to sidestep desperate women and focus on the ones who are frustrated by the AFCs who contact them with messages like "I like what you said in your profile, hit me up." Why the hell would a guy think that a woman would respond to that is beyond me. I wonder if any guys use that line in their street approaches.

I only mess with the online thing for a joke really, and I don't recommend anyone take it seriously. I could tell you a story or two about broads some of my friends have met online and the ensuing chaos.

So you are at least the second person in the thread who admits to not taking online sarging seriously. Why would you expect to get anything out of it if you only put forth a half @ssed attempt at it?

 

[armstrong]

I make it a priority to sidestep desperate women and focus on the ones who are frustrated by the AFCs who contact them with messages like "I like what you said in your profile, hit me up." Why the hell would a guy think that a woman would respond to that is beyond me. I wonder if any guys use that line in their street approaches.

Can you provide some examples of good messages?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Can you provide some examples of good messages?

There's where you're making your mistake. There are no messages that anyone can write before hand that will work with one woman let alone several woman. Yet guys try this again and again and this is exactly what women get in their mailboxes day in and day out. You need to write something that resonates with that particular woman.







What this means is that you can not just look at her photo and write a generic message and expect her to write back; there are probably 5 or 10 other guys doing the exact same thing.

Hot Babe's Inbox:
You've received a generic message from AFC#1:

Hot Babe's Response:
"Thanks, tell me about yourself"

Hot Babe's Inbox:
You've received a generic message from AFC#2 which sounds a lot like the message sent from AFC#1:

Hot Babe's Response:
"Thanks, tell me about yourself"

Hot Babe's Inbox:
You've received yet another generic message from AFC#3 which sounds a lot like the last two messages:

Hot Babe's Response:
"Thanks, tell me about yourself"

This goes on for a while.....

Hot Babe's Inbox:
Yawn.... You've got yet another generic message from AFC#27 which sounds a lot like all the rest...

Hot Babe's Response:
(Delete)

Hot Babe's Inbox:
Yawn.... You've got yet another generic message from AFC#28 which sounds a lot like all the rest...

Hot Babe's Response:
(Delete)

Hot Babe's Inbox:
Hey.... You've got a ton of boring sh1t piling up in here, are you going to do something about it???!!!...

Hot Babe's Response:
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)






​

So, what does a guy have to do in order to have a bit of a chance? Well, I hate to tell you this but..........




















You will have to read her entire profile....




















Every....



















Boring.....




















Word......




















But that's not all!!!!

You will have to write to her about something specific and unique that she talked about in her profile in order to get her attention AND you will need to use DJ skills to gain rapport, build comfort and escalate to a meeting offline!

Does this guarantee that you'll hook up? Nope. Are there ever any guarantees?

Does this take more effort than just sending a canned message? Uh.. Yeahhh....

Does this mean that you need good communication skills? It would make things a hell of a lot easier.

Are your chances really good? Fvck yeah compared to all of those AFCs writing canned messages.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

1. Women on dating sites (especially if they have pictures posted) get bombarded with contacts from men. It's not uncommon for them to get 10 LONG emails a day.
2. Many try responding to each but it takes forever. They have a huge problem with guys that they send a polite "no thanks" to because (like you) guys get frustrated and may send an email back to her asking for an explanation.
3. If the women choose to give an explanation (which is the worse thing to do) most guys will become offended and send her flame mail. It makes her even more apprehensive to replying to anyone she may not be interested in.
4. Online you are competing with tons upon tons of other guys and not many guys know how to use this to their advantage and become even more frustrated.
5. First written impressions count. Photos alone won't cut it.
6. You have to know how to market yourself, identify your market and close a sale. Most guys need a visual means to be able to feel that they are on the right track, being online doesn't give you this.
7. Needing these visual clues from women makes setting up a meeting as soon as possible an imperative to success. Unfortunately most guys do not know how to do this without having the clues in the first place. More frustration.

These are just a few things off the top of my head which most guys having a problem online experience. Their expectations (and possibly their ability) are barriers to their success. If a guy can work past these things it will begin to show as improvements to their offline game.

There is a ton of wisdom right there.

I think Match.com is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I was getting between 2 and 4 dates a week using it. Both women that I'm currently dating are from Match, and they're very attractive, and very cool. And it took me maybe 50 first dates over a 6 month time frame to find them.

Here are some more keys:

- You've got to send many emails in order to get a few back. And they have to have some degree of personalization.
- Close after 2 or 3 emails. Ask them if they'd like to meet up for a drink on a Friday or Saturday. Don't become a pen pal.
- written communication skills are of the utmost importance. You need to write clearly, and with at least a little style. This will set you apart from many of the illiterate fools trying to write like they speak.
- You do need to put up pics. Men looks at women's pics to see how they look, but women look at men's pics to try to infer something about your lifestyle. So try to find ones that say something about you (you're athletic, like the outdoors, have friends, etc.).

 

[guru1000]

Internet dating is alright. I think if you are reasonably good looking, it requires no effort to meet new people.

I never send emails, I don't have the time. I get about 60 emails a week. I have 4 plates right now, so between that and my work day, I don't have much time for new dates.

Out of maybe a few hundred emails a month, there might be 5 girls of 8+. If I am interested, I don't respond to their email; I ask to call them .

It's fairly easy with no effort. That's the advantage from my perspective at least. Disadvantage, very little pool of attractive females (1 out of 50).

 

[the_absolute]

I make it a priority to sidestep desperate women and focus on the ones who are frustrated by the AFCs who contact them with messages like "I like what you said in your profile, hit me up." Why the hell would a guy think that a woman would respond to that is beyond me. I wonder if any guys use that line in their street approaches.

Like I said earlier, SAY IT LOUD, with BOMBAST and invoke PROWESS and CONFIDENCE.

So you are at least the second person in the thread who admits to not taking online sarging seriously. Why would you expect to get anything out of it if you only put forth a half @ssed attempt at it?

With all due respect, sir, I think one should not take "sarging" in general too seriously. As regards what I would expect from online openers: I expect a lot of the women I thought were hot to not actually be that hot. You talk about taking it seriously, but what's serious to me is making sure I'm not seen sitting with or talking with a woman who is anything other than extremely attractive.

Like I said, you can use the online thing to shim your ego and to make up for some possible missing alternates you might need to the flesh in your entourage, and occasionally you might run into a spot of luck with someone on there. That's what I call a bonus, not an expectation.

edit: on the other hand, you CAN meet some serious poon on your local VB forums. Boards like this one but local and dedicated to some subject like a particular music subculture or whatever. You'll find a lot of hot office girls sit on those forums all day. It's easy to impress by presupposition especially if you're known and respected in said community. That virtual meeting place is a gold mine. Go from posting and watching for virtual proximity indicators to myspace to AIM to the club to your house. You might even find the girl who fits in with your brain in those places.