internet dating

[Mr.Positive]

If my kids get homework...and they do it themselves...then they learn. Even if they get it wrong...at least they tried and learned.

But if I do their homework...they won't learn.

This poonani guy wants US to do his "homework" for him. He won't learn...and he will fail. He is NOT a kid either as he is a "mature" person. The type that at 40 will be socially inept.

OK Latinoman, good point. I see where you are going with this..

Poonani, I haven't done much internet dating and frankly, electronic communications bore me to tears. I have ADD when it comes it, honestly. I do not text, I do not email women, if I'm communicating with a woman, it's on the phone or in person. Regardless, I do have a friend that is very successful at internet dating so here's my (actually his) advise.

Do not overthink things. One of your posts had a "here's my final draft..". If you are working on a 'final draft', something is very wrong.

The goal is to get the phone number, that's it. The less time you spend is better, the less you have to think about what you write, the more natural it will become.

You write her, get her number, and that's it. If she will not give you her number, or makes you prove to her you are worthy (think prize mentality), forget her and move on. She's either very insecure, or is just craving attention.

Keep what you write light and positive, but to the point. Get the number, call her and get the 'coffee date'. My buddy has met tons of gals on match.com. By meeting at a coffee shop, you will not spend much money, or invest much time if there's nothing there. If you click with her, invite her to drinks afterwards.

It's all about getting the number and meeting women in person. That's where you will find out if there is a real connection.

and..guess what? women know this. My buddy said out of the 40+ women he's met online, none of them, I mean not one of them was as attractive as they were in their photo. Because women know this...that once they get you into a face to face meeting, that's where they will project their attractive qualities.

If you ask me, internet datings a bunch of BS. But that's me..and if I do get serious about trying it, so far I haven't, I won't waste any time trying to create attraction and game by interpreting every little word I put in my message to her. It's about the phone number, that's it. Either she gives it to you or she doesn't. That's where your answer is.

 

[reset]

How are they going to tell in a club anyway, it's usually dark; during the day do you just walk around without a shirt on or just sarge at the beach?

lol

 

[Knight's Cross]

My take on match is similar to many posts here. There are flakes in the grocery store, and there are flakes online. After 2 or 3 get to know one another e-mails you need to go for the #. If they give you ANY static on it....Move on. You will save yourself a headache. Lots of women are there to meet guys, and lots are there to fulfil their ego needs. Your profile has to show that you are a) capable of taking care of yourself and her b) fun to be with, and c) you are serious about relationships and not just going for some tail.
That's what I've seen. Now at the same time as using match, cast your net in the real world too. Strike up conversations with women when there's a chance. Make your own opportunities. Don't hide behind a computer. Use it simply to widen your search.
I personally don't use myspace, I found that at least on Match there were women more in tune with really wanting to date than to just increase their worship/ friends list. Sure there are some looking to stroke the ego with some AFC e-mails, but more were in it for the same thing I was.
Whatever method you use, SPIN AS MANY PLATES AS YOU CAN. It makes it so much easier to spot the flakes, or takers, or ones that aren't worthy of your time.
KC

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My take on match is similar to many posts here. There are flakes in the grocery store, and there are flakes online. After 2 or 3 get to know one another e-mails you need to go for the #. If they give you ANY static on it....Move on. You will save yourself a headache.

Another guy who understands the importance on knowing how to qualify a woman no matter the medium. A lot of guys will blame the medium for their bad choices.

 

[Horse Whisperer]

I've browsed those dating sites for years and can honestly say that I've only seen one woman who I wanted to communicate with. I decided not to because I could not believe that a woman that hot and intelligent would really use the internet to meet guys. I've heard that a lot of these women are non-subscribers and just use the dating sites to boost their egos. (For example, they want to see how many guys have looked at their profile.) That said, I now wonder whether I made a big mistake in listening to nay-sayers.

Yes - I can concur with this. Met a girl at work over xmas who was telling me she signed up to some dating web site and her and her mates were 'favourite-ing' as many guys as possible, so their profiles would get more hits so they could RACE each other into the top 10 or whatever.

I think the whole thing contradicts what women might possibly find intriguing in a man. Bit of mystery is good - but you're laying your table out with these web sites. I'm sure a woman on an internet dating web site would be far more intrigued by a man who chatted her up at a shop/train station etc.

The other thing I find hugely annoying is the amount of references to travelling. Picture after picture of them scuba diving, where they want to go on holiday, how they want to go travelling to god knows where. I just think - well p+ss off then and go - and stop wasting my time!:kick:

 

[Adam007]

It means she was just kidding with u or she has some personal problem.

 

[Mr. Me]

Overall, I have to say online dating has you wading in a pool of social misfits, it seems to require much more work in getting through all the nuts: A woman recently replied to a craigslist ad I placed. I had asked for a "picture with reply" in my ad, right? So she sends me one line asking "what sane woman would send a stranger her picture?" Why bother?

I live in an area with millions of people. I don't understand how someone can step outside and be viewed by literally hundreds of strangers in public on a daily basis; strangers who see you enter and exit your home and now know where you live; strangers who see where you work, where you shop, etc., and then act all neurotic and paranoid about sending a complete stranger your photo. Hey, I don't even know if it's really you in the photo. So I replied and gave my rationale as to why I'd like to see a photo, and this nut writes back with even more paranoia.

Not only her, but several women wrote that they were reluctant to send a photo. Whatever... I figure that the real reason is: they're ugly.

Conversely, in real life, I was out last night at a cool, hopping, trendy spot in the west village, there were hundreds of people there. Met a few women, no one seemed to mind that now all these strangers knew what they looked like. One was a doctor, one was in Banking, the other I don't know what she does yet. They're professionals, and they're out to be seen, aren't they? Got some digits. And when you compare the temperature of the dialogue, it's much more refreshing dealing with good looking, intelligent women that want to talk with you rather than dealing with idiotic arguments from women trying to dodge you seeing what they really look like, and/or have deep issues, which is why they're online instead, emailing you on a Friday night.

 

[Stavrogin]

Ha! Yes, a lot of these women talk way too much about travelling. My personal favorite is when they say they "love to laugh." I myself hate to laugh. I hate to be so picky, but I'm just turned off by all the stupidity, bad grammar, and breathlessness about "soulmates."

Yes - I can concur with this. Met a girl at work over xmas who was telling me she signed up to some dating web site and her and her mates were 'favourite-ing' as many guys as possible, so their profiles would get more hits so they could RACE each other into the top 10 or whatever.

I think the whole thing contradicts what women might possibly find intriguing in a man. Bit of mystery is good - but you're laying your table out with these web sites. I'm sure a woman on an internet dating web site would be far more intrigued by a man who chatted her up at a shop/train station etc.

The other thing I find hugely annoying is the amount of references to travelling. Picture after picture of them scuba diving, where they want to go on holiday, how they want to go travelling to god knows where. I just think - well p+ss off then and go - and stop wasting my time!:kick: