Integrity

[Latinoman]

Post #114 was CHECK MATE.

 

[ketostix]

I'll try to tackle this str8up. Integrity issues, should be handled just like any other advise on this site. The advise we give to each other about women, to help our fellow man.

We have all these iron clad, iron rules, about women. Such as if she cheats on you, next her. Women want alpha male genes and a beta male provider. etc. If she disrespects you, next her....if you don't have sex with her after x number of dates, you never will. Etc..etc.

Why examples of no grey area with women, yet...everythings a grey area all of a sudden when integrity gets questioned?

So, with women, a lot of us still fvck up. But, we learn from our fvckups and become better men.

This is what we need to do with integrity. We all have it, well most of us, and yes, we make mistakes. We need to learn from our mistakes and become better men.

Justifying our poor behavior keeps us from improving ourselves.

I don't say sleeping with a married woman is fully justified. It has the potential to be messy and cause some problems. But what I've said was if she's already on the market the act of sleeping with her is the symptom not cause. And for most of the same reasons sleeping with married woman is unjustified, you could apply that to a "single" woman too. And as far as for integrity, if not ever sleeping with a married woman is not part of your code, you could still have integrity and more integrity than a person who does have a iron clad rule of not doing that.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

"ABC" understanding?

A: When I had self respect and OBLITERATED CONTACT WITH EX, you said I LACKED integrity, when we all knew that continued contact would be a lack of self respect.

You are the epitome of AFC. We should mark this post as a benchmark of what not to do.

What NOT to do? You were confused.

B: When I said I wanted to call my ex but DIDN'T, you quoted the above lines AGAIN. EVEN after I said I knew it was bad news.

C: You respect me now? You didn't three days ago. Between the "obliterated contact with ex" post and NOW I haven't changed. I've stuck by those same principals I had months ago.

Just...be a little more careful when making personal comments. That's all. You bases weren't all covered and you came off like a schitzo. :yes:

Edit: I'm really glad you're not responding. You'd probably be a lot more defensive so this gives you an opportunity to soak it all in without having a knee jerk reaction.

 

[ketostix]

Whoever it was way back that pointed out that the concept of integrity is actually an all or nothing deal, i agree with that. So it would be more accurate to say that a person has integrity or lacks it in a given situation.

I now see that integrity is a snapshot of a given situation, not a word that can be accurately used to label a given person, because if we did that we would be back to making a judgment call as to how many times a person can "slip up" (which we all do) and still be considered to have "integrity".

Make sense?

Integrity IS an all or nothing deal, but there is not a person on this earth who lives their entire life without f'ing up when it comes to this.

I don't remember seeing the other camp addressing this point satisfactorily. So tell me Latinoman, jophil, and guru......

Would it be accurate to say that if we were to judge a person as being one who HAS integrity, would we not have to account for the fact that he/she is NOT perfect and has in the past LACKED integrity in a specific situation, thus opening up this whole issue to a judgment call, thus PROVING that it isn't a black and white issue?



Don't you just love it when they throw out a word that destroys their entire argument?

If you are being held accountable that would imply that you had broken a law or a principal or something.

You know what, regardless of whether we happen to agree or not I just about always understand what your saying and I can see that you understand what others are saying. But there's a couple posters in this thread that will make a point then contradict themselves two sentences later. What can you do but just throw their whole argument out when it doesn't add up.

 

[ketostix]

I actually agree with your OP guru1000. I think having integrity and having an objective (not relative) moral code is important and valuable. However, I think some of you are attributing too much results from having this. I don't think most people have that much intergrity and I don't think most people, particularly women, really value integrity. If they did, then having integrity would be a lot more common than it is.

I wrote a reply to Latinoman regarding accountability and went on to explain how christians have turned accountability into an "integrity loophole" by "accounting" to a priest or "accounting" to God. This results in these people having less integrity than the average bear. But the thread got locked before I posted it. Anyway, the point is I agree integrity is about accounting to yourself first before you can integrity in dealing with others.

 

[Latinoman]

There are not a lot of DJs out there either. I would say less than 5% of the U.S./Can/UK/AUS population can be considered DJ.

I don't believe in "religions" so that explanation probably went to one of my ears and came out the other.

I do remember mentioning in my original post in the Integrity thread that " If you do something that tests the principles that define integrity, the best thing you can do is take accountability for your actions and make sure you accept and learn from that mistake. Justifying lack of integrity in fact diminishes accountability. And we all know that accountability is another important quality that defines a man’s character. "

 

[STR8UP]

I actually agree with your OP guru1000. I think having integrity and having an objective (not relative) moral code is important and valuable. However, I think some of you are attributing too much results from having this. I don't think most people have that much intergrity and I don't think most people, particularly women, really value integrity. If they did, then having integrity would be a lot more common than it is.

You nailed it.

 

[Latinoman]

You nailed it.

I checked mate you in the last thread. It was fun...really fun!

Glad you are back.

 

[##17]

My word is bond, to the best of my power. And it isn't because I'm such a great guy. If I tell you I will do something or that I HAVE done something and I haven't, I feel funny. See, the one person a mature man has to be able to trust is HIMSELF, and if he can't, then he is in trouble.

 

[Interceptor]

There are some people out in the world who have INTEGRITY and are TRUE TO THEIR WORD regrdless of the 'results' with women.
These results are some of the benefits of having high character.

Meaning, there are at least some people who value integrity not just because it is appealing to women.
The fact is, that to maintaing a relationship with a high character woman, the man must have high character as well.

This high character includes a strong personal boundary, thus, this person can extract himself from a situation that is not benefiting him.
And can eject any woman who is comprimising him and not enhancing his life.



If Integrity, true integrity, were based on what YOU DO if there were NO ONE looking, then the notion that it has little value if it doesnt get you laid or something is lack of virtue.
If one values Integrity and staying true to their Values, they will not look at the masses and all of a sudden DE VALUE it because 'no one else is doing this, so why should I?"


One pursues high character out of shrewdness and maturity.

 

[Latinoman]

I wish I could give some 'reputation' points to the creator of this thread. It is not allowing me (I "need to spread the distribution" of reps I have given around before giving him another or some crazy stuff like that).