I worked at an investment management firm all though my 20's then in 2009 I got laid off due the financial crisis. I thought everything I worked for and my career was over. That next year I took the 70k to my name and started a business in healthcare in an industry literally knew nothing about. I had to completely downsize my life to around 10k a year the first few years. I rented a room from someone to get my life as cheap as possible, only way I could make it work. I literally was the sales rep, accountant, on call person, scheduler, janitor and whatever other role that needed to be filled. I worked every day of the week for almost 5yrs in order to be able to scale up and get my debts paid off. Anything worthwhile is never easy and you can always change directions. You just have to have the will to do it. I really didn't start hitting my financial stride until my late 30's. That is when all the work and decisions I made started to compound and started making real progress.
Incoming Recession 2022/2023
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BackInTheGame78
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There aren't many people who are truly working as hard as they could if they are not passionate about what they are doing. Hard to be motivated and do whatever it takes when you hate your job and can't wait to leave every day.
Just like at the gym...most people think they are working far harder than they actually are.
What if you didn't choose a field that allowed you to save that 70k? What if you you were laid off multiple times during the crisis in a low end factory job, and don't have savings? How would you climb out of that hole?
BackInTheGame78
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Accept that you made a series of decisions previously that put you in that position and then determine what you are going to do moving forward to get you out of that position and then act on it. The acting part is where most people fail.
There is virtually NOTHING in your life that happens to you that REQUIRES you to have to make a decision where you have no options. People only act like it does.
Maybe you couldn't save 70K but maybe you could have saved 10K. But you chose to want to eat out, or stop and have coffee every morning, or spend money on things you didn't need, etc.
The bottom line is everything you keep saying is in line with someone who is unwilling to take responsibility for their own choices in their life that have led to them being in the position they are in. Until you are willing to change that nothing is going to change for you.
Choosing to be in the field you are in a decision that YOU made.
Staying in that field when you realized you weren't happy with the amount of money you were making is a decision that YOU made.
Not going to back to school to get a degree in something that would allow you to switch career fields is a decision that YOU made.
Choosing to spend money on things instead of saving more of it is a decision that YOU made.
All of these decisions added up over many years explains why you are where you are right now. Stop making excuses for them and start owning them.
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You need to get into a field that pays well. I would say get into a trade school in one of the fields that pay. You're probably going to have to dedicate 3-5yrs to get to the level of skill to make good money. Nothing is going to be overnight but better to start now, time goes fast
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
How do you recognize a field that pays well, that's a safe bet to invest your time in when you don't have any savings? I'm sure the developers that didn't have a passion for that field recognized it as paying well, though as backinthegame says they didn't have the passion, so they didn't advance to stability/financial success as he did because it's his passion.
I struggle with this everyday... Like you said, in another post, life is too short to be miserable at your job everyday. Since I got boxed out of the field I had a former passion in. I'm struggling to find a passion to determine the route to take. I know of one thing, but don't have money for it. Suppose I'm interested in becoming a helicopter pilot, I don't have savings, how do you suggest I break into that industry? I have no skills aside from the industry I was boxed out of, and those skills are not transferable to anything else. It'll cost between 80-100k to become a pilot. One can only get like 1-5k in grant money towards it.
Depends what your natural abilities and interests align with. If you are more hands on you can go with electrician, plumber, hvac etc. Call your local unions and ask how you get involved in those fields with school and apprenticeships. The trades have severe shortages and need people, wouldn't be surprised if many covered school costs. If you are more inclined to tech and computers I'm sure backinthegame can point you in the right direction
Hardly anyone has a job they are completely passionate about, you have to be pragmatic too and use it as a tool to get yourself in a good financial position. Then you will have more freedom to add what you are really passionate about.
I think this is why so many people are low wage earners, like factory, janitorial, etc.... What if one hasn't discovered their natural abilities, and their interests don't align with their abilities.. People that find their passions, and know what their natural abilities are, are more successful... Most aren't lucky enough to find passions, or what they're good at, meanwhile that quicksand of low wage life is just getting harder to climb out of.
Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it....
What if unforeseen situations caused you to be miserable with what was once a passion? Money was never good, but since you liked doing it, it was worth it, until that situation manifested....
You said it yourself learning to be a developer would be foolish if one didn't have a passion for it, especially if they couldn't fund the schooling in the first place...
This is presumptuous. How can one save, if they're stuck in a situation that prevents any meaningful savings. That's the quicksand of low wage life....
If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Some of that is just taking the initiative to try new things and the other is making the best of a situation. A lot of satisfaction for me also comes from being highly skilled and competent in what I do, that just takes time. I get a lot of fulfillment to in running the business in way that reflects my values, I enjoy the relationships I have with my employees/clients. The exact field I am in isn't specifically what I am passionate about. There are also a lot of headaches and issues I have to deal with too though, just have to make the best of it.
BackInTheGame78
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You are going to have to decide if you want your life to be one full of excuses or full of new opportunities. Can't be both but you have to make that decision yourself.
Right now it's going to be one filled with excuses.
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BackInTheGame78
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What is it that you like doing? Something you'd do for free even if they didn't pay you to?
Answer that question and then look for something that has to do with that. You'll improve far quicker than you will at something else because you'll want to do it rather than have to do it when learning what you need to
BillyPilgrim
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Real question DJR, have you taken shrooms before? It can be a key to self-discovery for a lot of people.
Yes, straight paranoia.... No discovery just paranoia...
Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
The only thing is weight lifting, but the advice from most bodybuilders, is personal training has no money in it. Not to mention that's one of the first things people will abandon when times get tough(which I think they will). Also, I don't feel nearly competent enough to advise others when money is involved, and don't have the experience to train a number of different scenarios that will present themselves in clients...
BackInTheGame78
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Something that I started doing when the pandemic was in swing and I couldn't go to the gym was workouts called Basement Beasts by Fabian Petrina.
Dude created a whole experience out of nothing online and now sells subscriptions that includes workout programs, nutrition plans, bands, etc ..dude created all of it from nothing...
Dude was hilarious, engaging in the videos and most importantly knew his stuff and they were effective.
Start thinking outside the box on how you could build something maybe
That's another point.... All the paid online programs kinda make personal trainers obsolete. Not to mention would you have trusted his program if his physique wasn't impressive? I don't have the physique to sell myself like that....
BackInTheGame78
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You are talking a very small percentage of people in the overall population and ignoring the huge percentage of people who came from northing that made their own way
Another excuse maker I see. This board is filled with them. Sad this is how the younger generation chooses to live their lives.
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That is such a low percentage of people who get that head start, 80% of millionaires are self made. Just something I have noticed personally, those who just had it handed to them don't typically have the work ethic to do it on their own. There is a great book called The Millionaire Next Door, it gives a full statistical breakdown of traits and habits.
28 Millionaire Statistics: What percentage of Americans are millionaires?
How many millionaires are there in the US? Check out the latest stats to find out what percentage of Americans are millionaires.
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