Hi guys,
Long-time lurker, first-time poster.
I haven’t been a member for long, but I’ve noticed an increase in posts focusing on the negativity of dating and certain lifestyles, as well as claims that self-improvement is impossible for some individuals. I joined because I had an issue with a specific woman and needed second opinions, and I had my reasons for staying. I thought this forum was meant for discussing strategies, dating scenarios, and self-improvement. However, it seems like the tone has shifted recently, which might be affecting traffic.
For those who have been here for years, is this the norm? Is it cyclical, or do you think it’s a permanent change?
Negative posters have always been around even in 2008 but back then we checked that shyt really quick at the door. It was a different era where complaining and whining was far less tolerated. You also had a level of posters who were really out there improving and high IQ, even if you read some of their old posts/FR's you can tell some of these guys were really bright by their writing styles. Overtime a lot of those guys moved on got married or just left. The pool got replensihed however it became more of the incel types instead of the studs who made this site what it is IMO the Golden area was from 200-2004 SIlver era 2004-2008 Bronze Era 2009-2012. After 2012 the site IMO went of a cliff. I still post here because you can't have these conversations with your friends and also I want to give back value
I used to be very positive and had massive results in a short period. However, over time I became jaded and even misogynistic due to so many negative experiences with women (being ghosted, flaked on, rejected can take a toll on you especially when you do nearly 40000 approaches in 15 years takes its toll etc)cause I was frustrated
. However, quarantine 2020 changed my life. I had to take responsibility that I was the root of the problem. My mindset has changed a lot. I haven't watched porn in over 5 years. Porn is toxic and demonic and I viewed women as objects not human beings. I now view women as human beings again (crazy typing this out loud)and they aren't perfect my empathy is getting better. I'm not saying life is perfect I still struggle but now I'm more realistic about things
I try to weigh in on the posts of people asking for legitimate advice.
I would say back when I first joined it was more about self-improvement. Now there are so many useless filler posts (like there's a f***ing music thread for some reason), and a lot of times people come here to just ignore the advice they're given in the hopes that somebody will tell them what they want to hear.
The site has changed unfortunately the tone is now more "RedPill" you and I came around the same time, when I came it was all about actions yes there was theory too but the IQ of the average poster in 2010 was far superior than it is now. You had some intecullas that could get in-depth on topics and speak about nuances based of experiences and also cause they were smart. A lot of my earlier posts when I first started were field reports, I learned a lot by posting them and the value wasn't to brag but back then I actually posted FR"s with pictures/video clips this was unheard of back in 2008 for someone doing it for free.
Field reports are outdated in these times. IMO you are better off keeping a journal and keeping it off sosuave. A few guys have been caught by their girlfriends or wives and had to get off the site. One of my favorite posters "Amante Silvertrie" for example his wife found his post and he dissaperead overnight.
If I ever get in a LTR or marriage you will probably not see post here again, maybe I'll make a new account and post in the wealth success section only. This year I have kept a journal on the women I have dated, not FR's per se but just a journal on women I have dated and trying to figure out patterns or issues that I have with certain type of women among other things.
I've always gotten the impression from reading PUA type material that it is only a minority of men who really succeed and "live the dream" as put forth by the gurus. I remember watching Mystery's old show, The Pickup Artist, on VH1. I always thought it was interesting that the goal of the show was to pick the one guy out of the group who could become the next great pickup artist. If it was true that you didn't need to be good looking or have money, if it was all in the method, why was the idea to have one guy to outshine the rest? Because it's true, there will always be the Chads who are better with women than others. Because women want the best guy.
Anyway, I've always been more of the LTR type, being a natural introvert. I like my friends and women close and intimate. I'm never going to feel sorry for a guy because he can't put together a harem of five revolving HB 9s on a regular basis. If you can do it, great, it works for you. If not, who the heck do you think you are anyway?
Mystery show even back in 2007 was corny but as a guy who went out with Naturals in 2006 and saw stuff infield that people would think sound like a Hollywood movie script. I needed to understand how was it that some guys had women literally fighting over them, having them buy drinks etc. And other guys struggled. I learned a lot hanging out with naturals and I improved my game drastically because I'm a person who learns by watching and then doing. However there were certain things they couldn't explain to me sosuave helped fill in those gaps. In regards to looks I will say physique matters more. Being fat is a turn for women(same for men)but if you have a good body it can go a long way. I know a guy who didn't have the best face but he was jacked and banged tons of chicks Back in 2006-2015 your phyisque matters a whole lot more than it does today. Back in 2006 I remember you could see 3 girls that were dimes walking the street and it wasn't hard to see smokeshows. Now a days you're lucky if you see 1 or 2 at a bar last time I went
I wouldn't consider him negative. Maybe he is overly analytical sometimes, but he looks at numbers - not feelings.
Looking at numbers is good, however, I will say I never wanted to be the average. I thought the point of this site was to be the best version of yourself? I'm not saying the number guys are wrong I'm saying that you can become the exception to the rule. I have done stuff infield that people would say are lies. I have learned it's best to focus on yourself and not worry about "Looking cool" it comes of as cringe and insecure or even worse boastful. I have been humbled a lot in the last 5 years
Self-improvement works and we know this to work because since this site inception there have been Hundreds of men who when they first got here sturggled with women or didn't do well and they put the work in. You can read it in the field reports, posts etc. Yes the game has changed since 2000 but the core tenents of self-improvement have stood the test of time even before sosuave existed and will continue to work long after we are all gone or if this site is ever to go
You understand my goal. My goal is to look at numbers and not feelings. A lot of the numbers reflect men having a negative experience and that's a trend that's been going on for the majority of my time in the sexual marketplace (25 years).
My sense is similar to yours. It has always seemed to me that the majority of men who try PUA type material end up failing with it. Failing is a subjective term that can mean different things to different people. In general, I don't see most men who consume PUA content ending up seducing many women. Some might end up using it to get 1-2 long term girlfriends over a 5+ year period.
Nothing wrong with numbers, I enjoy your post sometimes you need analytical break downs but honestly, sometimes you repeat redpill talking points that are already known, it would be nice to hear your personal experiences in the field and the stuff that has worked for you or is working for you, IMO that adds a lot of value to the site. I myself try to mix numbers with anecdotal evidence. IMO numbers would not have helped in 2008 when I was trying to talk to women however this brigns me back to a point i made earlier a lot of guys aren't looking for actionable advice unless it's something very common "she flaked what should I do" or "How Do I get my ex back" these type of post have been here since the beginning and a lot of them bore me ha ha
To conclude
I don't claim to know it all, I still struggle with self-improvement but I know it works because the times in my life where i"ve been dialed in working my business, working on approaching, working on fitness I've seen results. We are in a different era and in a transition period lotta guys are having trouble adapting cause it's harder than ever however I would argue once you put the work in, it actually get's easier
