I'm giving up on this stuff.

[Mad Manic]

LOL.
MM, you have a long way to go.

"Outcome" in my explanation is one's ideal of success.
Misguided perceptions, without the proper tools to get there are a hard road to walk.

Oh, and BTW, as you mature hopefully you will learn how Pride and EGO are connected, and you will eventually not NEED either.

It's not ideal per se, someone's ideal might be to approach a girl, her face lights up and they have sex within 5 mins. But if he genuinely believed he could/would get a good interaction and a number close from that he would usually approach. People usually have misguided perceptions but a lot of approaching and analysing puts that to rest. Pride and ego obviously are connected because they both help curb our actions but they are different. Pride is about preserving self respect, self worth, dignity and holding your own whereas ego associates with being above others, dominance, superior, disrespectful and brazen, etc. I think you are saying people are afraid of breaking the ego but should because the ego is BS and unfounded even, whereas I believe a lot of people feel there is a pride line involved in pick up that should not be crossed.

MM

 

[AFC Savior]

hes 17

when he gets to college and starts going to parties and drinking and hooking up with cuties, he'll be all set

 

[Interceptor]

It's not ideal per se, someone's ideal might be to approach a girl, her face lights up and they have sex within 5 mins. But if he genuinely believed he could/would get a good interaction and a number close from that he would usually approach. People usually have misguided perceptions but a lot of approaching and analysing puts that to rest. Pride and ego obviously are connected because they both help curb our actions but they are different. Pride is about preserving self respect, self worth, dignity and holding your own whereas ego associates with being above others, dominance, superior, disrespectful and brazen, etc. I think you are saying people are afraid of breaking the ego but should because the ego is BS and unfounded even, whereas I feel people feel there is a pride line involved in pick up that should not be crossed.

MM

MM, I understand your views.
And thank you for not getting personal in your reply to me.

OK, Ego is a man made design a construct that "helps" us deal with suituations where we have no Self Esteem to draw upon.

Pride is our Self Perception BASED on our EGO's make up.

Self ESTEEM is true KNOWLEDGE of actual SELF WORTH. Self WORTH that comes from ACHIEIVING YOUR GOAL.

Pride is a fabrication BASED on outside influences WHICH ARE DISTORTED.

Self ESTEEM is a genuine SELF CONCEPT ARRIVED to by OBSERVING one's SELF ACCOMPLISHING GOALS.


Pride is artifically generated.
When someone 'hurts' your Pride, they aren't disrespecting you, they are hurting your EGO.

Since one may have a low opinion of oneself, and is insecure, one BUILDS up an EGO, and this EGO fuels our PRIDE.

When you have true SELF ESTEEM and recognize your TRUE Self WOrth and VALUE, nothing can 'hurt' you, because you know that no one can 'tarnish' your true image of yourself.


That's why I laugh when people think they 'disrespect' me.
Because they don't have that power.
They do not have any power over me.

I don't have a 'fake' Self Image of myself they can hurt.

They can only hurt me if it ISN"T TRUE.

Ugly Guy: "I'm really good looking! I'm better looking than a lot of guys! And I LOVE people...really I Do!"
Any Girl: "Eww..get away form me..you're ugly!"
Ugly Guy:"Fvcking b*tch! Fvck you! I AM good looking! I am!"

Pride is also built out of COMPARISONS.

Self Esteem is built from your actual personal experiences.

No one can take that away from you. Or 'hurt' it.

Once Self Esteem is there...it is there FOREVER.

Ego is inflated and defleated.

It is based on other's reactions to you, and your perceptions of outcomes in certain situations.
Pride is your out ward demonstration of your EGO.

Confidence that comes from Self Esteem and knowledge of Self Worth is your radiance.

No one can harm that.

Beware of getting into situations where you want to inflatee your Ego, gentlemen.
It's a slippery slope.









But if I had no self esteem, I would rely on my Ego, and thus, my Pride. My Pride will make me invent an 'image'of myself that isn't congruent.

Priode and Ego should be eventually eliminated.

In favor of AUTHENTIC Self IMAGE, authentic SELF CONCEPT, and genuine high Self ESTEEM.

 

[Interceptor]

hes 17

when he gets to college and starts going to parties and drinking and hooking up with cuties, he'll be all set

By the time Stud gets to college he will have a better perception of his surroundings,actual experience under his belt, and hopefully maturity to help him have more suitable perceptions.

I think he'll be successful too.

He just needs to mature.

 

[DonJuan11]

Just watch alot of adult entertainment and you'll be fine. Two things will happen:

(1) You will start to not care about women and won't be nervous talking to them

(2) You'll be so disgusted by what you see that you'll be turned off sex, like me.

 

[reset]

(Screaming) WHO AM I???!!! Lol.

I guess I'm ego and pride. Who's the reset underneath? Discovering that.

I wonder WHY achieving a goal builds self-esteem though. I suppose it's because when you do, by overcoming the self-doubt that may have hindered the goal, you realize the self-doubt was false, it was your ego. So by achieving the goal you destroy the blocks that had built up and open up the floodgates.

 

[Interceptor]

Reset, having Self Esteem works on your Personal Boundary.


Personal Boundary is directly related to Self Respect and Self Worth.

By achieving MORE GOALS, you are affecting the strength of your Personal Boundary, and as a by product it GETS BIGGER.

When it gets bigger, this means you have increased your internal resources.

What are they?

Emotional STRENGTH and Emotional Resource


Intellect (your ideas, opinions, preferences)

Decision Making Capability

All of these are empowered.
Thus, now that you are empowered, you have built confidence in yourself.

Now that you have Confidence, you WILL HAVE COURAGE to go outside your comfort zone and ACCOMPLISH MORE GOALS.

PS BTW I freakin' love Jackie Chan!

 

[DonJuan11]

Tony Robbins ain't got nothing on us.

 

[reset]

Lol, yeah this is good stuff. I get it. I have been thinking a lot about personal boundary too. But to me personal boundary means "the degree to which you don't let people mess with you" then it becomes "the degree to which you expect yourself to not harm yourself, just as you wouldn't let others harm you."

Or is personal boundary also comfort zone like "that's my boundary of personal comfort there".

Lots to dwell upon.

 

[LostAndConfused]

I'm 17 too, I see it the exact same way as El Stud. Ages 16-18 is the peak of my sexual maturity. Do you know how depressing it will be when I turn 19 and realize that I didn't get much püssy? Once your 18 its over. Then you get into the 20s, and in the 20s as you progress each year in age your window closes and your male sexuality dies. The best time to experience sex and stuff is between the ages of 13 and 18. Don't kid yourself. Girls peak in attractiveness from ages 15-21. Then unless they are a model they'll just look worse and worse.

To me, girls are so stupid and uninteresting that they aren't even worth it. You may SAY you know some "extremely interesting women." You show me the most interesting girl you know, and I'll show you males who are twice as interesting. No homo.

I'm still in high school, many of my friends in college told me "just wait till college." As I get closer I'm realizing that college is going to be exactly the same. I can open and get in very interesting conversations with all the teachers at my school, but it doesn't work for the average attractive girls. Nothings going to change. And whos to say there will be attractive girls at your college anyways? You might just get all the nerdy/too into studies types, with a few girls who are hit on by every guy.

Interceptor, in the ideal world, what you said in this thread would be perfect. But this world isn't ideal. Some people liked me have jumped through such hoops, passed every sh1t test a girl can throw at you, and still experience failure. I don't see how your self esteem can't get hurt after a while. Even, your self-worth. Some people are more resilient than others, they can experience many more failures, but at some point, EVERYONE, having experienced enough failure or bad things, will either have to re-evaluate their game or call it quits, before they start getting depressed.

Yes, ideally, peoples outside opinions shouldn't affect how you feel about yourself, but there are almost 7 billion people on this planet. If everyone you approach thinks low of you, you will eventually think low of yourself as well. We are social creatures. Strength from within only lasts so far. Sure you can keep reading Pook articles to temporarily boost your self esteem, but its just that. Temporary. Sure in high school most of these people are going to fail in life so their opinions of you shouldn't matter, but it sure as hell hurts when girls reject you JUST BECAUSE they heard bad things about you from somewhere else. Its reality man, the youtube videos of Mystery and other people cold-approaching girls don't always work that way.

Your social circle is probably the most important thing to you, really. Sure, you *can* pick up that girl at the market, but you better not be approaching her unless you can tell she's giving out distinct IOI's (or she approaches you in the first place, its socially not creepy if a girl approaches you, however, the other way around can be construed that way.) And girls don't approach that much. They do, but usually when they do, they aren't attractive or interesting....basically its because they aren't good enough to get a guy in their own social circle which *should* be an indicator that you shouldn't be talking to her anyways. Honestly, the girl doesn't know you. Why settle for some random guy off the streets when you can hook up with that attractive guy in your dance class/school/whatever who you know isn't a creep? It logically makes sense to only date people in your social circle, we live in a fücked up world.

And even if you do succeed on approaches....seriously, it isn't fun for me. You either play the girls game (and win, thus getting her interested in you), or you don't play it at all. You can't call out a girl's game like people have said in this thread. You can't just say "stop playing games with me." I guarantee you that 99.99% of the time the girl is going to play stupid. "What games are you talking about, Don Juan?" Then you look like a fool.

Interceptor, you are one of the most helpful members on this entire forum, we can all agree, but success is enjoying the interaction??? Thats a little too bold and enlightened for the human being. Perhaps if we became less animalistic and more ideal, enjoying an initial interaction would always be great. But honestly, if she's throwing up more defenses than Fort Knox, and wants you to play her games like your Kobe Bryant, wheres the enjoyment in that? How is it enjoying if you have a successful neg, where she laughs and playfully punches you arm, to know that at the end of the conversation, she's going back to her social circle to fück and flirt with the attractive guys who she can put a little trust into. On top of ALL OF THAT, its almost impossible to find an INTERESTING girl who is also VERY ATTRACTIVE. All males know this. Theres always the average girl who is really cool who would be perfect for a relationship, then theres always the very hot girl who has shït for brains and is less interesting than a steamed carrot. Then theres always stuff in between, making about 1% of the girls you talk to in your ENTIRE LIFE both ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING. And who is to say she's not already happy in a relationship? You say that outcome is one's ideal of success, but to me, enjoying an initial interaction is an ideal as well. You sound like the coolest guys at my school (IMHO), but the coolest guys at my school have never even had a girlfriend. Okay, so don't expect success and don't be outcome dependent. Doesn't change the fact that you aren't succeeding with women.

AFC Savior's post was short but I think thats the key to cold approaches. Make yourself attractive enough so heads turn. Makes game alot easier. Notice how I never said it doesn't make game fun though.

 

[Interceptor]

Interceptor, in the ideal world, what you said in this thread would be perfect.

You lost me right after I read this, L and C.

Dude, you are not getting it.


I understand.

In a few years, you will look back at your post and you will laugh, and then understand what I was trying to say.

 

[DonJuan11]

The best time to experience sex and stuff is between the ages of 13 and 18. Don't kid yourself. Girls peak in attractiveness from ages 15-21. Then unless they are a model they'll just look worse and worse.

Their metabolism slows, that's for sure.

 

[LostAndConfused]

You lost me right after I read this, L and C.

Dude, you are not getting it.


I understand.

In a few years, you will look back at your post and you will laugh, and then understand what I was trying to say.

I hope so. But who am I kidding, how am I not getting it? Theres a better chance I think back to this all depressed when I finally accepted that I'm neither an alpha nor beta male and I realize that I shouldn't have even tried saying a single word to a girl throughout my whole life.

13 to experience sex? Um, I don't think so. Having a boy in grade 7 sleep with a girl in grade 7 might be a tad too young.

It happens more than you'll ever know. True alphas do that to women, and they don't need to be on sosuave.net. Yes, I know it all determines on when you go through puberty too...thats not my point though. My point is the second I turn 19, if I haven't had any good experiences with women, I have just missed out on the best years for sex and to experience interactions with girls. And I'm not into getting caught up in the whole statutory rape deal...being 18-19 and illegally dating 16-17 year olds. Its not my cup of tea.

The most unfortunate thing for me is that I have a family history of finishing adolescence really late. People in stores always think I'm 13-15 years old, and everyone knows girls don't like younger looking guys unless they are absolutely dominant alphamales.....impossibly rare. I don't grow facial hair yet and I'm almost 18. I'm still supposed to grow alot.

 

[AFC Savior]

LOSTANDCONFUSED!!!

please listen to me right now

I am 23 and i have had sex with 80-85 girls in my life, including many LTR and fvck buddies and a 3some and whatever else u can imagine

I was a virgin till I was almost 19..............you live and learn, dont stress, just experience

please learn from me - go read my threads

 

[Interceptor]

I hope so. But who am I kidding, how am I not getting it? Theres a better chance I think back to this all depressed when I finally accepted that I'm neither an alpha nor beta male and I realize that I shouldn't have even tried saying a single word to a girl throughout my whole life.



It happens more than you'll ever know. True alphas do that to women, and they don't need to be on sosuave.net. Yes, I know it all determines on when you go through puberty too...thats not my point though. My point is the second I turn 19, if I haven't had any good experiences with women, I have just missed out on the best years for sex and to experience interactions with girls. And I'm not into getting caught up in the whole statutory rape deal...being 18-19 and illegally dating 16-17 year olds. Its not my cup of tea.

The most unfortunate thing for me is that I have a family history of finishing adolescence really late. People in stores always think I'm 13-15 years old, and everyone knows girls don't like younger looking guys unless they are absolutely dominant alphamales.....impossibly rare. I don't grow facial hair yet and I'm almost 18. I'm still supposed to grow alot.

Lost, I want you to realize that I am PERSONALLY looking out for you , my brother.

All is not lost.

And you WILL have those experiences you crave.

HOWEVER, you may not get them with the way you are thinking RIGHT NOW.

So, perhaps you may understand why I am really bringing you guys very very strong ideas of self realziatin and masculinity, and inner strength and resources.

Once you have that, you WILL find yourself HAPPY, SUCCESSSFUL, and FULFILLED.

A 'neg" cannot do that.
neither a DHV.

Or calling two days later.

Or the 'right' girl.


Do you understand the track we're on?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

ElStud,

When the going get's tough.....

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=35YivWEs3zw

....the fight is not over yet.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=LrOawFUdFfU

WE ARE ROOTING FOR YOU EL SLUD!!!!

 

[Mad Manic]

Maybe the problem for a lot of guys here is that they are just not meeting girls for one reason or another? You mentioned college parties and easy hookups but I'm going to bet that a lot of guys here don't have that privelege. If you're doing a science subject you can kiss that good bye. As for LostandConfused, I agree, even by not caring and enjoying the interaction etc. if you're not getting laid then so what? And I think it's one thing to say that one defines their self worth etc. so that nothing bothers them but another for that to actually be true in reality.

MM

 

[ILikeGirls<3]

This thread shows the enormous pressure the younger guys today are under. Even on this forum a lot of the more successful guys with >1000 posts have been out of college for years, and maybe don't know that its way harder for someone nowadays who doesn't already have experience with girls or a social circle to just "man up". Heres what I say, I am 23 and i spent high school and college having all the problems described by lostandconfused and mad maniac, in addition to being a total AFC, the one thing i regret most is not trying DJ stuff like cold approaching. So don't give up!

 

[Snow Plowman]

I'm surprised at the amount of dudes coming out the woodworks saying they don't really like cold approaching. I honestly can say I don't know why your on this site if your not learning to cold approach.

It all comes down to how bad you want it, 95% percent will just play around with this, 4% will actually do this hardcore and quit, 1% actually gets seriously good to the point where they can consistently pull chicks same night, 3somes, etc.

If its not fun you'll never get good, pickup is by far one of the most fun things you can do in life. Why? Because each set you go into you don't know what will happen its days when you get a double handjob on the dance floor or fuking your first drop dead chick that you realize it was worth it.

If your willing to go through the pain you'll reap the rewards and yes he is outcome dependent, yes he is looking at it in short term rather in long term. Guys spend years and years doing this half ass, meanwhile you got guys who are just doing and doing no matter what and they stick to it. In 2 years these guys are having the time of there life in 5 years there getting more ***** than they can fuk.

There isn't nothing better knowing that you can go and interact with anybody in the world, whether by yourself or with friends. 95% of the people will never real go at this as hard as most guys that get good do.

How many people have approached over 1,000 sets yet? How about 500? You don't become a pimp over night, its long and gradual progress, some people can learn it quicker because they have less inner game problems.

Do you realize if you become good you can consistently get women anywhere at anytime. If you see a celeb you've always liked as a kid you could approach, if you seen your favorite porn star you could approach, if you seen the hot walmart chick you could approach her.

If you don't know how to cold approach your stuck with having to pick women out of your social circle (assuming your crew isn't a bunch of lan-party nerds) your job and next door neighbor.

 

[Evolution]

ElStud, you joined this site on Mar, 2007 which isn't too long ago. And your quiting already?

I joined the "community" a year and it changed my life completely. Not only I'am more successful with women, but also overall in my life. I'am also a more competent person, and my social life improved drastically.

But don't get the wrong idea. The "Game" does not define my life, it enriches my life. Same with women.


When I first started out on my journey a year ago, I struggled a lot in the beginning. But never once did I think about giving up, I had nothing to lose. Anything is better than reverting back to my afc self.


Your 17...and so am I. Just because your busy doesn't give you an excuse to give up on this.

I'm doing High School+College at the same time for gosh sake. And yes its a pain in the ass, but in the end it will be worth it. I know I will be giving up opportunities with women by doing this. But, women are the not the end goal for me. My future is the most important thing to me.