I'm a Daddy (I think)!!!

[backbreaker]

Well, obviously this girl is going to be around for the long term even if not marriage. And I take it you will be exclusive to her given the situation. So are you content with the idea of being exclusive to this girl for the long haul?

around in the sense that she is for lack of a better word.. my "baby momma".. but with that said.. if she starts acting up, she can get the boot. doesn't change a damn thing in that regard.

I'm content with the idea of being exclusive with her as long as she is doing what she is doing that makes me like her so much.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I mean.. I haven't ****ed anyone else in about what.. 4 months now? That's literaly a record for me. even my last REAL GF, who I cared about, I was fvcking her cousin and another girl on the side.

And she knows that, or at least gets the idea. That's part of why she works so hard at keeping you.

And I haven't really wanted to either.
I don't know what to call it. I mean I'm happy..

And I'm happy for you. Just don't let fatherhood make you lose your willingness to walk, because she will sense that when it happens, and then she stops working at keeping you. Then it's downhill. I have seen friends make an unconditional commitment to stay with a woman they knocked up, and that sounds all fairy-tale wonderful, but then the women just walks all over them. They end up whipped and miserable. They think they tolerate the wife for the sake of the kids, as if that will be better for the kids, but all they do is set a horrible example of a relationship and then the kids grow up with fvcked up relationships themselves. I know you still have the power in the relationship, just don't lose it. Because after the kid is born that will be tested in all kinds of new ways. She'll start bossing you around to do kid-related stuff, and then when you say no, she'll pull a guilt trip on you as though you are a bad father. My friends wives do this - "go and get the kid this or that" - they just want to boss the guy around. It's not about the kid. It's about them taking the power away from the man.

Another fun one, and I would not wish this on you, but just be prepared, will be when you finally start to have some serious fights. Then come the threats. "I'm gonna take the kid and run away. You'll never see him again." or the legal version "I'm going to get a lawyer to tell a judge you beat me. I'll get a restraining order, and you'll never see the kid again." btw, yelling is domestic violence in California. That also means it's grounds for getting a restraining order. If there is a LTR that does not involve some yelling, I have not seen it. But throughout all of this, you have to stay strong and not lose your power in the realtionship. That is the best way to set an example for your son or daughter - even if you end up having to leave their mother.

edit: I just saw this:
if she starts acting up, she can get the boot. doesn't change a damn thing in that regard.

Just don't lose that frame. It will be hard at times.

Congratulations again, and enjoy these good times.

 

[backbreaker]

damn bible belt.. I'm lucky enough where my parents weren't that... well..dumb. But I guess stuff like that does happen.

I'll always do what's in the best interest of my child

and women who do that, usually are women you shoudln't be dating in the first place becasuse they have red flags anywhere. any woman that wuld take a child away from her father just to spite someone, is a horrible mom

my Dad had another child by another woman (my 17 year old brother) whle they were married, and I know it killed her for a while.. but she used to pick me up from my dad's house 8pm every night. I wouldn't be anywhere near who I am without my dad in my life.

She doesn't strike me as someone that frivlous. I mean.. she has her issues.. everyone does to some extent. But I doubt she's that frivlous.. but I've been wrong before. Not often mind you.. but before

 

[Ken785]

And she knows that, or at least gets the idea. That's part of why she works so hard at keeping you.




And I'm happy for you. Just don't let fatherhood make you lose your willingness to walk, because she will sense that when it happens, and then she stops working at keeping you. Then it's downhill. I have seen friends make an unconditional commitment to stay with a woman they knocked up, and that sounds all fairy-tale wonderful, but then the women just walks all over them. They end up whipped and miserable. They think they tolerate the wife for the sake of the kids, as if that will be better for the kids, but all they do is set a horrible example of a relationship and then the kids grow up with fvcked up relationships themselves. I know you still have the power in the relationship, just don't lose it. Because after the kid is born that will be tested in all kinds of new ways. She'll start bossing you around to do kid-related stuff, and then when you say no, she'll pull a guilt trip on you as though you are a bad father. My friends wives do this - "go and get the kid this or that" - they just want to boss the guy around. It's not about the kid. It's about them taking the power away from the man.

Another fun one, and I would not wish this on you, but just be prepared, will be when you finally start to have some serious fights. Then come the threats. "I'm gonna take the kid and run away. You'll never see him again." or the legal version "I'm going to get a lawyer to tell a judge you beat me. I'll get a restraining order, and you'll never see the kid again." btw, yelling is domestic violence in California. That also means it's grounds for getting a restraining order. If there is a LTR that does not involve some yelling, I have not seen it. But throughout all of this, you have to stay strong and not lose your power in the realtionship. That is the best way to set an example for your son or daughter - even if you end up having to leave their mother.

edit: I just saw this:
if she starts acting up, she can get the boot. doesn't change a damn thing in that regard.

Just don't lose that frame. It will be hard at times.

Congratulations again, and enjoy these good times.

So what Bible_belt is basically saying...Dont forget your DJ traits after this!..he hit that one on point.

 

[spider_007]

Congrads!!!!!!!

you'll be fine.....

 

[cordoncordon]

Hey BB, hope your trip ended well.

Ok, here is my advice on the situation, take it or leave it. I think you have the right attitude about all of this so keep that up, because I think in the long run this (the relationship) doesn't have a chance in hell of lasting but we'll see.

Here's why. Here you have an older, (30 something right?), English white women, who has a very physically demanding, outdoor, very busy career that she loves. Impregnated by a much younger, black, career oriented, NOT EVER gonna get married type of guy.

See the problem here? You two are so far opposite of each other in life you couldn't have picked a worse time to start poppin out kids. This woman is going to have to give a up a career that she loves, for a while at least, to have a kid and start to raise him, all the while knowing you will never want to get married!

I'm just trying to imagine someone I know who could be in a similar situation, like my sister or something, and wow I can't even begin to tell you the family scandal that this type of situation would bring about. Unless she never talks to her family anymore, she is going to be under some tremendous pressure very very soon from them wondering what in the heck she is doing.

She's coming up on middle age, about to have a kid and give up a career for a guy she will never marry and that she really hasn't known for that long....I just don't see how she is going to be "ok" with this when push comes to shove without her knowing that you will get married and she will have the security of that for her and the kid.

I'm not telling you this in hopes that you go out and get an abortion or something, (I mean you had unprotected sex, deal with the consequences), but more as a word of advice that a little further down the road, imo she is going to start getting VERY PUSHY about getting married, and a lot of tension is going to be created over this.

Hopefully you guys can work through it, but it's not going to be pretty that's for sure.

 

[backbreaker]

I do have a question.... what is sex with a pregnant woman like when they get...well.. you know... REALLY pregant? Is it even possible?

 

[D!ck Ramsey]

They get very horny towards the end of their pregnancy. Be sure to give her lots of orgasms as it will strengthen her muscles and make the birth go a lot smoother. I think you are supposed to cut off sexual contact on the last month, but I know plenty of people who did not...I dont think you will leave a penis dent in the baby's head, if that's what worries you.

After the baby is born though, you can forget about sex for a couple of months. I hope you have a good porn stash!

 

[backbreaker]

They get very horny towards the end of their pregnancy. Be sure to give her lots of orgasms as it will strengthen her muscles and make the birth go a lot smoother.

YES SIR!!!!

I dont think you will leave a penis dent in the baby's head, if that's what worries you.

I'm assuming I"m supposed to go doggy... I feel like a 16 year old all over again trying to " put it in"

After the baby is born though, you can forget about sex for a couple of months.

well.. I've went 3 years... I can go 2 months.

 

[Bible_Belt]

After the baby is born though, you can forget about sex for a couple of months.

fwiw, af was back in action after about four weeks. You can start again as soon as it doesn't hurt her, and every woman is a little different.

 

[D!ck Ramsey]

fwiw, af was back in action after about four weeks. You can start again as soon as it doesn't hurt her, and every woman is a little different.

Someone here has porked a lot of pregos! Kind of ironic considering your namesake, but who am I to judge?

Thanks for the pointers

 

[backbreaker]

I don't really find pregant women attractive... so it's one of thoose things I would be doing to as "service maintence" but still.. thanks for the advice

 

[Bible_Belt]

Someone here has porked a lot of pregos!

lol, I am talking to one now, who just had a baby. Like backbreaker, most of my friends have kids.

 

[spesmilitis]

Lots of good info here. Bookmarked cuz i'll need to know this some day.

 

[speakeasy]

I do have a question.... what is sex with a pregnant woman like when they get...well.. you know... REALLY pregant? Is it even possible?

There's a word for it...it's called ANAL. :moon:

 

[backbreaker]

tried that once.. she's not a big anal fan

 

[speakeasy]

Here's why. Here you have an older, (30 something right?), English white women, who has a very physically demanding, outdoor, very busy career that she loves. Impregnated by a much younger, black, career oriented, NOT EVER gonna get married type of guy.

I'm not seeing what their races have to do with it. I mean if it was a white guy that impregnated an Asian woman I doubt anyone would be bringing up their race.

 

[MrGold]

Congratulations mate...

 

[cordoncordon]

Here's all I'll say, and BB has earned respect here so I understand that. But if it was almost anyone here besides BB and a few other guys who got a girl pregnant, most EVERYONE here would be saying...

"WTF ARE ARE YOU DOING GETTING A GIRL PREGGOS AT YOUR AGE!!!???"

F'in guaranteed.

 

[Centaurion]

lmfao

I can just imagine BB trying to pork his gf when she is 8 months pregnant. Hahhahah you'll give the poor kid a concusion. hahaha