If you found a beautiful woman who was genuinely a great woman, would you marry her?

[zekko]

20 years of a successful marriage sounds like a sweet deal to me, 20 years is a really long time.

20 years is a good long run for a relationship, for sure. But 20 years is also a long time to build your empire, invest, and get ready for retirement. It would be a shame to get your finances to the place you want to get them, only to have to divide it up because of a costly divorce. You may find yourself having to rebuild, right when you don't want to.

Someone mentioned a prenup, and those can help, but they are not always honored. It's all in the hands of a judge. It doesn't matter what you think, or what the prenup says, it's what the judge thinks that counts.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She will support you in every positive endeavor you have.

Support how, exactly? Moral support? Financial support? Intellectual support?

What does her mom look like? Fat? Fit? Crazy?

this also reminds of a Groucho Marx joke:

"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member."

I'd think such a unicorn comes with some wicked hidden costs.

 

[Trump]

She will support you in every positive endeavor you have. Her only requirement would be for you to marry her. Would you drop all your plates, give up the game right now and stop slaying all the poon you are to be with her? Or would you continue to play knowing quite well that the next guy will immediately snatch her right up?

If it beneficial to work to be married to her, like a politician or actor, then yes.

If it's not beneficial, then no.

To commit to one woman emotionally, financially, morally, physically, socially, mentally, and sexually to confines of the law, there has to be a BENEFIT. If there no benefit, there is no point.

 

[BeExcellent]

There is no escaping the risks inherent in people changing after vows are exchanged.

You have to manage risk, to mitigate it in life.

Character should be the most important factor in selecting a marriage partner. If you have great character and you are able to recognize when a woman has great character then character becomes the determining factor, more important than looks or anything else.

Seeking a woman with character will best manage the risk in marriage.

The men here value youth and looks only for the most part. Is it any surprise the terrible attitudes and horror stories of cluster Bs and poor behavior? It is no surprise at all.

If you look for character first, you'll select much better women. Seek character first, then looks. Character is what matters when you return from war burned or mangled & your wife stays with you. Character is what matters when you want to raise great kids. Character is what keeps a woman loyal & devoted when life is hard. And make NO mistake...at times life will be hard.

Christopher Reeve's wife had great character.

But the other side of that coin is you need great character to recognize great character. And you also have to understand people ARE who they are. You'll never change someone else. I think plenty here, including myself, have learned that humbling lesson on the craggy rocks of experience.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I always told you guys Double was a girl. In her mid 30's.

Don't lie to them Neil, I'm a tranny living off of welfare in my 50s.

What is a person? Some thing to be abstracted from all social context? Nope, you are the sum of your relations. Some of the posts here reflect an excessive individualism. Of course you are an individual, but this has to be counter- balanced with being a social animal. You were brought up in a context... you speak a certain language.. you have certain beliefs. You do not live in a void.

An individual tends to think of society in the abstract. But the fundamental unit of real society, in any meaningful sense of the word, may be a decent marriage and a family... though it need not be for everyone. People are becoming anti-social today.

I will not 'be seen' as anything. That is a passive way of 'existing'. A life of self-determination is better. Aristotle got it right - we are a social animal, and because of this [not despite of it] we have the potential for freedom.

Ok I have absolutely no clue what the hell you are talking about or how it pertains to this thread whatsoever. I don't even know how it pertains to the forum at all. Post your Aristotle mumbo-jumbo on some philosophy forum. Otherwise stay on topic.

Why do you need a girl to do whatever you say?

That's kinda weird.

I'm saying that she doesn't argue with you. She will offer her opinion and try to show you what she thinks but she doesn't go against what you want and will listen to you. Common sense what I'm saying dude.

This question reveals how naïve you are.

You not only want an "extremely beautiful" virgin (PLEASE), but don't mention how long you dated her.

Sure. I'll probably also find the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Abominable Snowman on that day.

Support how, exactly? Moral support? Financial support? Intellectual support?

What does her mom look like? Fat? Fit? Crazy?

this also reminds of a Groucho Marx joke:

"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member."

I'd think such a unicorn comes with some wicked hidden costs.

If it beneficial to work to be married to her, like a politician or actor, then yes.

If it's not beneficial, then no.

To commit to one woman emotionally, financially, morally, physically, socially, mentally, and sexually to confines of the law, there has to be a BENEFIT. If there no benefit, there is no point.

Alright guys let's go clear something up:

I understand that such a woman does not exist anymore. But what I meant for this thread is a hypothetical situation. Obviously it will never happen, but IF you could and you had the opportunity to, WOULD you do it?

 

[zekko]

this also reminds of a Groucho Marx joke:

"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member.".

I had to quote this just to give it an LOL. It's a shame that most young people today aren't familiar with the Marx Brothers.
They had a brilliant act, and were musically talented as well.
From what I understand, Groucho played the womanizer on stage, but it was Chico who was the ladies man in real life.
"You can't fool me, there ain't-a no sanity claus".

I understand that such a woman does not exist anymore. But what I meant for this thread is a hypothetical situation. Obviously it will never happen, but IF you could and you had the opportunity to, WOULD you do it?

Again, my problem is that such a woman doesn't exist, it's that there's no guarantee she will stay that way. There's no way in real life that such a guarantee could exist. But hypothetically, if you could guarantee that she wouldn't change, or find someone else, or file for divorce for any reason, if she was really that great, and I was that fond of her - I guess I would probably marry her. But then, what if I change in 20 years, and decide I want someone else? Oh well, if she's really that great, I'm sure I'd still appreciate her.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Why

Ok I have absolutely no clue what the hell you are talking about or how it pertains to this thread whatsoever. I don't even know how it pertains to the forum at all. Post your Aristotle mumbo-jumbo on some philosophy forum. Otherwise stay on topic.

Why be willing to confess your ignorance so quickly?

'Stay on topic'. This is the bureaucratic principle... to have everything nice and neatly separated into its own compartment for maximum efficiency and management. It is the death knell of thought.

The title of your thread seemed absurd to me - "If you found a beautiful woman who was genuinely a great woman, would you marry her?" It seemed to me that the asking of this question could only be possible by someone with an excessive individualistic and abstract frame of mind.... Because from a common sense perspective, the title of your thread is the aim of a man. Not marriage per se, but marriage with 'a beautiful and genuinely great woman'. There may be the odd exception to this, but that would only prove the rule.

 

[zekko]

Why
Why be willing to confess your ignorance so quickly?

Chris has deep thoughts. Even I don't understand them sometimes

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Again, my problem is that such a woman doesn't exist, it's that there's no guarantee she will stay that way. There's no way in real life that such a guarantee could exist. But hypothetically, if you could guarantee that she wouldn't change, or find someone else, or file for divorce for any reason, if she was really that great, and I was that fond of her - I guess I would probably marry her. But then, what if I change in 20 years, and decide I want someone else? Oh well, if she's really that great, I'm sure I'd still appreciate her.

We don't live our lives by guarantees. There are no certainties besides the obvious ones. It's like saying, 'I won't go outside today because hypothetically I might get hit by a bus'. A manly life is a courageous one... though not a foolhardy one. We take calculated risks.

 

[bigneil]

To paraphrase OP:

"If you could eat a piece of poop but have it taste exactly like a steak would you do it?"

"What if it had a side of A2 Poop Sauce, NOW would you do it?"

 

[bigneil]

Men who I know who have found such a woman and DID marry her remain happily married decades later. And they enjoy an enviable partnership, respect, intimacy and deep love. They without exception deeply appreciate their wives. And their wives are respectful & loving toward them... it's pretty awesome to see.

Oh, God.

Men who have found someone (who exists only in theory) remained happy?

There is no escaping the risks inherent in people changing after vows are exchanged.

Well, it didn't take her long to contradict herself (with this exception).

 

[Fruitbat]

So, I do NOT agree that this person exists for ANYONE.

What changes is when some men, like me, hit a point in the road when they think "I am just tired of all the bullshyt. I am tired of a teenage man's life, flitting around, and I want some roots and stability"

My dream and vision is:

- A big house
- Kids
- A good social life, friends, dinner parties etc
- Keeping chickens and growing veg in grounds
- A sports room/shed

Basically, the start of a mans life is different to the end. The second part is preparing for death. A sobering thought but I do not want to hit 70 alone, seeing relatives twice a year with a chess club once a week and a home help being the one real thing to look forward to.

I want to be respected, looked after and valued as the patriach of a good family. The world will change for "players" one day and all the lays in the world won't be worth shyt when you've lost all value to the world.

So, this woman doesn't need to be perfect. She just needs to be on board with this vision, which is a mature one.

Sure as hell, there is not a single "hot chick" by this boards standards who could achieve this. You will need one who really needs you, or sees you as one hell of a catch to do this. Yes, you will get bored, but I've never ruled out a mistress!

the wall comes for men too.

 

[SteR]

Again, my problem is that such a woman doesn't exist, it's that there's no guarantee she will stay that way. There's no way in real life that such a guarantee could exist. But hypothetically, if you could guarantee that she wouldn't change, or find someone else, or file for divorce for any reason, if she was really that great, and I was that fond of her - I guess I would probably marry her. But then, what if I change in 20 years, and decide I want someone else? Oh well, if she's really that great, I'm sure I'd still appreciate her.

I think @Augustus_McCrae has this in his marriage. From what I can remember everything started perfectly with his wife.. it was only years down the line that she turned into a nightmare. I'm even seeing it with my friends: Some of them have only been married less than 10 years and can already see the change..

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Why
Why be willing to confess your ignorance so quickly?

'Stay on topic'. This is the bureaucratic principle... to have everything nice and neatly separated into its own compartment for maximum efficiency and management. It is the death knell of thought.

The title of your thread seemed absurd to me - "If you found a beautiful woman who was genuinely a great woman, would you marry her?" It seemed to me that the asking of this question could only be possible by someone with an excessive individualistic and abstract frame of mind.... Because from a common sense perspective, the title of your thread is the aim of a man. Not marriage per se, but marriage with 'a beautiful and genuinely great woman'. There may be the odd exception to this, but that would only prove the rule.

¿Qué? Speak English morherfvcker, this is 'merica.

The problem that I have with your response is that it's not that deep. How the hell could you possibly see excessive individualism and abstract through this? I could understand the latter actually, considering that such a thing doesn't exist lol. But for goodness sake, it's a yes or no answer. If you want to relate it to something else, EXPLAIN that connection. Otherwise you just sound like an idiot who's trying to act smart by using bigger words than he actually understands. I can't read your thoughts, and it's much harder to guess when you are just a piece of writing on a screen instead of an actual person with your own mannerisms and body language. And regardless, I don't even see what's wrong with this question in the first place, nor what is wrong with individualism. Take your philosophy class elsewhere (it's always the philosophy class that does this), it's not useful in the real world. I already had thoughts like yours at age 12; I'm 18 now and realize that it's useless and just keep that sh!t to myself cuz I realize that no one actually gives a **** not will anything change either. Besides, speaking like this is much more fun and entertaining. The next step from your state of mind has 2 options: either do something BIG and impactful with your knowledge, or troll others with idiotic language like I'm doing you (after all, you ARE wasting your time reading this hehehehe). Pick your poison.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

To paraphrase OP:

"If you could eat a piece of poop but have it taste exactly like a steak would you do it?"

"What if it had a side of A2 Poop Sauce, NOW would you do it?"

Neil if you got nothing else to say, then fvcks off out of this thread. Answer the damn question or piss off. Comparing something to poop is what ( year olds do, it's no wonder why people call you an autistic retard on here.

There is no escaping the risks inherent in people changing after vows are exchanged.

You have to manage risk, to mitigate it in life.

Character should be the most important factor in selecting a marriage partner. If you have great character and you are able to recognize when a woman has great character then character becomes the determining factor, more important than looks or anything else.

Seeking a woman with character will best manage the risk in marriage.

The men here value youth and looks only for the most part. Is it any surprise the terrible attitudes and horror stories of cluster Bs and poor behavior? It is no surprise at all.

If you look for character first, you'll select much better women. Seek character first, then looks. Character is what matters when you return from war burned or mangled & your wife stays with you. Character is what matters when you want to raise great kids. Character is what keeps a woman loyal & devoted when life is hard. And make NO mistake...at times life will be hard.

Christopher Reeve's wife had great character.

But the other side of that coin is you need great character to recognize great character. And you also have to understand people ARE who they are. You'll never change someone else. I think plenty here, including myself, have learned that humbling lesson on the craggy rocks of experience.

This is what pisses me off. It's like saying there is no way in hell you'll ever meet a hot girl that has any moral values at all and that the only sweet women out here are the ones that are ugly as ****. How the hell can you have decent looking men take care of themselves, strive for success, and in spite of the horrors and atrocities of the world resist corruption and keep their own personal integrity, yet a woman won't even say yes to you all the time be it ugly or hot. The reason why the men on here value looks so much is because there's even some ugly girls out there that are sh!tty human beings too. I'd rather be with a hot ******* than an ugly one.

Another thing that bothers me so much to where some part of me refuses to believe it is why can't you change someone? Why? I swear on this Earth that there is a way to change most people into good human beings. Some people are truly evil souls and should be killed, but others are just lost people trying to find their way. Or maybe not, maybe I'm just hoping for that lol. But why can't you change someone? It is SO easy to ruin people, so easy to just destroy their lives. But why can we not help them? Change them for the better? I swear to you there is a way, though not directly. You need to watch your behavior and what you indirectly express through general body language and mannerisms (I glorify these two things a lot but that's because I believe people greatly underestimate the power of these things) based on what they feel or think at that moment, so that you can cause them to unknowingly react to you by either doing things or subconsciously thinking of things that will slowly change their way of thinking, and thus them. Is it worth it? Probably not for most people since we got stuff to do. But I swear I have done it before.

 

[bigneil]

This is what pisses me off. It's like saying there is no way in hell you'll ever meet a hot girl that has any moral values at all and that the only sweet women out here are the ones that are ugly as ****.

Wrong. We never said ugly women were sweet.

 

[BeExcellent]

There are beautiful women who have character.

The idea that character and beauty are mutually exclusive is false. Rare to find them together, but false that it's impossible.

I personally know a number of very pretty women with solid character. They are all happily married save one...and she got divorced because her husband's drinking spiraled into alcoholism after they had been together a number of years. He has since remarried and is currently divorcing again...she is approached all the time but is quite selective and about dating as am I.

My statement about inherent risk is not the least bit contradictory with my observation of happily married couples around me where the women (and frankly also the men) are attractive people.

Just like in finance, every investment has risk. That doesn't mean one shouldn't invest. Rather it means one should get educated and understand risk and how to manage it before investing.

Rich people who reap investment success over time are pleased with their circumstances just as people with great marriages are pleased with their circumstances. Both require discipline and wise choices and risk management. Neither guarantees success.

Nothing in life is assured. Look for women with character first above all else is all I'm saying IF marriage & children are your aim. If you have no interest in marriage or a LTR I suppose character doesn't matter as much.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm still in my relationship with a woman a few years older than me. We have our ups and downs, but overall she makes me very happy. I would marry her if that is what she wanted. But women coming out of a long marriage are in no hurry to tie the knot again, so it is a non-issue.

 

[bigneil]

Look for women with character first above all else is all I'm saying IF marriage & children are your aim. If you have no interest in marriage or a LTR I suppose character doesn't matter as much.

"Look for women with character"? That's like saying "Listen for songs that smell nice".

 

[BeExcellent]

As to changing another person? It's impossible. That desire is ego talking & ego is very persuasive.

The other person has to want to change for themselves. If a person wants to change and is open to growth and is consistently taking action in the direction of improvement then that's someone who can be influenced positively by another person. But at the end of the day it's them doing the work toward self improvement.

This is why getting involved with an addict or alcoholic is never a good idea. You cannot rescue someone from their own destructive behaviors. No matter how much ego wants to.