If the quality of women goes down as you get older, why do a lot of you say to get married WAY later

[bigneil]

From a young woman's perspective (having been one myself as well as having many friends who were once young women as well as having employees who are currently young women) here are some things I can tell you. Most young women, if they are going to get married, marry young men.

Oh, God.

And most of them get divorced. My ex is currently divorcing her 23 year old body builder. Why? Because he can't pay the bills.

Also, we recommend men never get married.

So, men, if you want to get married to women your age and are ready for hell down the road, take BeExcellent's advice. After all, she married and divorced a hot night club owner.

 

[bigneil]

Exceptional young women who have their pick of young men who are ambitious, handsome, and going somewhere in life are going to choose from that pool almost without exception. They will pick from among the up and coming doctors, lawyers, businessmen, architects, engineers, and athletes.

But wait! There is more!

Now BeExcellent is saying there exist 20 year old male doctors and lawyers!!

Now BeExcellent will recommend you spend 10 years in school going into debt to be a Big-Pharma med-pushing doctor or poor lawyer (I have had the same lawyer since 2001 working for me - he is handsome, broke and lonely, and 3 years my junior). Being a doctor or lawyer is like being a husband or homeowner or salaried employee - they are tourist traps.

And she'll refer to 21 year old businessmen? It takes a man until his 40's to earn enough money to keep 21 year old beauties happy. But what do I know? I've only dated 21 year old beauties since I was 41, 6 years ago.

I scored 760 on my SAT's and was always the best and brightest in school. It got me nowhere until I had money. She is talking about Trustafarians, like the man she rents her best house to.

PS - Sorry BeExcellent, I know you are kind of hot, but you don't get to project from a young woman's perspective. Seriously, are you BPD??

 

[bigneil]

agreed she is not living in the same reality as the rest of us. Partially because she is not too familiar with the millennial dating market. The "trustafarian" insight was a good one hah

BeExcellent tells it exactly like it was for marriage - in 1991, when young men could last make a living. Women will choose men who are younger if they CAN but (while the record will show that the moment I got my stripper ex back with her rich daddy she dumped me for a frat boy, note she STILL needed an older man with money) first they will choose to SURVIVE. Without welfare (or rich daddies), women would be doing anything men wanted. Instead older women have a doom and gloom forecast for men lucky enough to have young beauties as they promote this fairy tale about young, handsome, rich athletes (all because they want men their age to be stuck with them).

 

[Who Dares Win]

Bigneil amazing posts, when truth is better than a comedy show

 

[zekko]

Instead older women have a doom and gloom forecast for men lucky enough to have young beauties as they promote this fairy tale about young, handsome, rich athletes (all because they want men their age to be stuck with them).

Neil, you and I know that older men can date younger women. But most people on the street aren't that savvy. They think they're stuck in their age bracket. Look at all the posts here from guys who don't realize they could be dating younger: "I just turned 30, does that mean I can't date girls in their 20s anymore?". Lol, no it doesn't. Statistically, IIRC women tend to date men about four years older than they are. Not surprising, because they're probably in their social group in some way, but are more mature.

18 to twentysomething will always be the prime beauty age for females. That's not to say that I don't find any older women attractive though, because I do.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

From a young woman's perspective (having been one myself as well as having many friends who were once young women as well as having employees who are currently young women) here are some things I can tell you. Most young women, if they are going to get married, marry young men. Perhaps a little older, but not a generation older. There are a number of very good reasons for this.

1. If a woman wants a family and a life mate why pick someone who's health is going to start failing at the same time she is trying to raise the children and around the same time her parents' health is starting to fail? Much better to choose someone with youth who can become successful than risk choosing someone whose health is likely to fail. If Neil were to marry (which he isn't but for sake of example) a 21 year old woman, and they remain together, then in 30 years he will be 77, while his wife is only 51. That is an enormous difference in age which translates eventually into an enormous difference in vigor. This is something women do consider, and if the woman isn't thinking along those lines you can be certain her parents are.

2. Child rearing is exhausting. A significantly older man is not going to have the energy to parent that a younger man will. There is no way to predict how a woman's body is going to handle childbirth. If there are complications someone is going to have to take care of the baby while the mother recovers. This responsibility falls first to the dad, and then perhaps to the grandmothers (if they are able) or to hired help. A successful older man may be able to afford hired help perhaps but much of this responsibility still falls to dad. Donald Trump has never changed a diaper in his life, but I assure you he hired whatever domestic help was needed to assist his wives in caring for young children. And he probably hosted Melania's mother for an extended period, as European tradition is that grandma comes to stay for a month or a few months to help her daughter with a new baby.

3. What if the older guy's health fails? A woman in her prime is going to have 30+ years in great health if she keeps herself well, but her husband will slowly lose the ability to be active as he ages decades ahead of her. She will go from feeling like she married to daddy to feeling like she is married to grandpa and grandpa is not sexy.

4. What do you do when your much younger woman gets buyer's remorse? Because as she sees the men in her peer group become successful in their own right, she WILL unless you are a serious multimillionaire or a serious celebrity or both. She will see her female peers with younger men her same age that are becoming the success she traded her prime for, and she will feel she shortchanged herself.

Now I don't have any issue with what Neil or other older guys do if they want to continue the revolving door with hot chicks. My friend in Vegas, who I've known forever dates women half his age all the time. Good for him. But he knows he doesn't want to wife one of these young women up because he knows they date him for his money and his celebrity, and he knows they WILL want him to father a child and he wants NO part of that at nearly 50. I know a doctor in Newport Beach who does the same thing. If an older man can pull younger women, that's wonderful, but neither my friend in Vegas nor the doctor in Newport are dating the top tier of young women as I described above. They get girls who are hot, and that's about it. And they both have a new woman on their arm every time I see them. More power to them both, but I would think for many people, as expressed in threads recently on this board, the constant rotation gets old after a while. My friend in Vegas has said this to me a number of times (my sex life is great but my love life sucks) but he gets laid like a rock star so for now it doesn't matter.

Men hit the wall too folks. I hate to tell you guys this. Age doesn't care if you are male or female, it is going to get you eventually. I met an extremely rich gentleman recently. Hundreds of millions of dollars rich (as told to me by some colleagues). He was a widower and had married the top dancer from the Copacobana in Miami years before. They had been married some 50 years until her death. We met at an investor's function as he made his money in real estate development and he still funds other developers. He is genteel man but in his 80s. You could tell he had been quite handsome in his day. But that's the point, in his day.

He took my card under the pretense of business endeavors and proceeded to show up at my office unannounced, call me incessantly, saying he was "an admirer" and so forth. He still thinks he is the dashing man he was decades ago. And its sad because he is lonely, obviously. All I see is an old man whose knowledge appealed to me, and who I would have been interested in learning from, but who I otherwise found gross from a physically attractive standpoint. He on the other hand thought he was going to parlay his money into dating me. Um. No.

My best friend's father wanted to date me after his divorce. I was in my 20s at the time. He's a millionaire as well, and has mentored me a little in business from time to time over the years. He did end up remarried to a beautiful woman about 12 years younger than him and they travel the world and have a good time. The idea to me of dating anyone that much older has always been yucky from my personal perspective, especially when I always had top choices in handsome men with ambition in my own age bracket. And that is still the way it is, except now those men are like Neil, actually successful with something to show for their life.

Exceptional young women who have their pick of young men who are ambitious, handsome, and going somewhere in life are going to choose from that pool almost without exception. They will pick from among the up and coming doctors, lawyers, businessmen, architects, engineers, and athletes. The good news for @ImTheDoubleGreatest! is keep going as you are currently going and YOU will have the top women to select from yourself as you are still young and fit and ambitious. There will be a worthwhile woman for you to choose on your journey if you keep your eyes open and continue to develop yourself. That should be very good news to you. But realize that the exceptional women are going to get chosen by men as you go through your twenties. They will marry and no longer be on the market. So my advice is simply make a wise choice and don't miss the boat.

1. I figured this wasn't common knowledge, no need to say it. But granted, there definitely are some social retards on this forum so I guess it's fine you spelled it out for them.
2. Of course he can get tired. We all know this. But that doesn't mean that he won't do it anyway. A man's sense of duty is MUCH greater than that of a woman. I don't say this to say women are inferior, but they cannot compete with men on that level. You don't have that 'do or die' type mindset in you. With women, it's about trying as best as you can and your effort is what matters. For men though, you just do it; there is no 'try'. That's what elevates men above women and why the best in the world (in any endeavor) are always men. Tired? So what. That's nothing. Women aren't willing to die for a cause like a man, and yes that includes children. A woman will only die for her kids after her man already has. This point is invalid.
3. The problem with this argument is that men age more slowly than women typically do. A woman who is 40 years old is the equivalent a man who is 60. Women hit the wall sooner than men.
4. This is based of the assumption that they will be successful no matter what. Most mellenials suck. I can say that confidently lol. And honestly, I know that you can, too. Think to MY generation. Not to yours. Therein lies bigneil's truth despite his colorful representation. How often do you involve yourself within the social circles of those that are my age? I know it's very rare, if at all. But there is a huge difference. She will definitely want a man who is young AND successful. But that just doesn't happen anymore because the way society has shifted from what it was a long time ago hasn't made it impossible to survive on your own now. That's why we almost became socialist last year.

I do have a question for you though. You say that good women get married early. I wonder how it is that they meet these men. Is it simply one of those things that just HAPPEN? Like one of those things where relationships aren't really on your mind at the time, but then you somehow almost coincidentally meet them. I can give an example. I had a really good friend back in high school, but for the life of us we just couldn't figure out how the heck we started talking to each other. We didn't even have any classes together as strange as it was. And not just him, one of my other great friends, we just started making fun of each other and insulting one another. But then we became best buds. I don't really know how it happened, but it just sorta did. There wasn't anything mechanical or calculating about it, I wasn't consciously thinking of making friends at the time. I'm wondering if these same women marry these same men without any direct intention of finding a lover, and I wonder the same of the men as well.

 

[zekko]

1. I figured this wasn't common knowledge, no need to say it. But granted, there definitely are some social retards on this forum so I guess it's fine you spelled it out for them.

Of course, the advantage to marrying a successful man who is much older is that the wife will stand to inherit his money at a fairly young age.

2. Of course he can get tired. We all know this. But that doesn't mean that he won't do it anyway. A man's sense of duty is MUCH greater than that of a woman.

Yeah, men are raised to "man up". But men aren't all that fond of taking care of children, and some might view it as "women's work".

3. The problem with this argument is that men age more slowly than women typically do. A woman who is 40 years old is the equivalent a man who is 60. Women hit the wall sooner than men.

I wouldn't say men age more slowly, women tend to outlive them. They age better, looks-wise, generally.

4. This is based of the assumption that they will be successful no matter what. Most mellenials suck. I can say that confidently lol.

I recall that I used to read a lot of complaints here from guys who said that girls didn't care at all about what kind of potential they had. The girls wanted guys who had already made it. So they didn't care that the guy was in law school, they wanted the established lawyer. I haven't seen any of these posts recently though, so maybe there's been some change in opinion.

 

[devilkingx2]

And most of them get divorced. My ex is currently divorcing her 23 year old body builder. Why? Because he can't pay the bills.

if she is divorcing a man solely because of money and there's nothing else wrong with him (IE there's a huge difference between being a broke lazy deadbeat who only wants to watch TV while dodging the debt collectors and not being a wall street millionaire) she's probably a gold digger and you dodged a bullet by calling her your ex lol.

 

[BeExcellent]

And most of them get divorced. My ex is currently divorcing her 23 year old body builder. Why? Because he can't pay the bills.

She married a loser. She chose poorly. That means she doesn't know how to properly vet for quality or she wasn't concerned about the landscape looking into her future. Maybe she assumed it didn't matter since she expected Daddy's money would always take care of her. That does happen.

I mean let's get real here. I like you fine Neil, but you were seeing a married woman who was still sleeping with other men (her husband maybe? a third guy maybe?) besides you probably the entire time she was having sex with you. I don't know about anyone else's opinion but married women who are cheating on their spouses are inherently NOT quality girls. Par for the course for strippers, however. So quit parading your ex (who wasn't ever yours in the first place as a married woman) as some quality bird. That is generally laughable.

Secondly you seem to have a reading comprehension problem. I never said there were 20 year old doctors or lawyers, don't be silly. I said up and coming. That means, for all those who may be listening men who are PRE-law or PRE-med or studying engineering or architecture or whatever. Those fields require study and self discipline over the course of a number of years.

If anything, most of these really quality young couples married BEFORE graduate school.

Exactly. That means these couples get married as they are working toward their futures and they are ambitious but predominantly in the potential phase of life. So the best women chose men who demonstrate leadership and discipline to pursue a good career. I have millennial employees including some doctors and nurses. This is what these folks have done and most are now in the family phase of life in their 30s. My mother-in-law married a man who then went off the to the Air Force Academy where he went through pilot training and became a fighter pilot. You have to be an exceptional man and qualify to get an appointment to the military academies, and to be a fighter pilot. That is what my son plans to do. He wants to follow in my father-in-law's footsteps. So far he is making the grades and doing what is required to get there. It is not an easy path. But men who are serious about doing something worthwhile with their lives start young and go in a direction of discipline and ambition. These are the men who the best young women most value.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

She married a loser. She chose poorly. That means she doesn't know how to properly vet for quality or she wasn't concerned about the landscape looking into her future. Maybe she assumed it didn't matter since she expected Daddy's money would always take care of her. That does happen.

I mean let's get real here. I like you fine Neil, but you were seeing a married woman who was still sleeping with other men (her husband maybe? a third guy maybe?) besides you probably the entire time she was having sex with you. I don't know about anyone else's opinion but married women who are cheating on their spouses are inherently NOT quality girls. Par for the course for strippers, however. So quit parading your ex (who wasn't ever yours in the first place as a married woman) as some quality bird. That is generally laughable.

Secondly you seem to have a reading comprehension problem. I never said there were 20 year old doctors or lawyers, don't be silly. I said up and coming. That means, for all those who may be listening men who are PRE-law or PRE-med or studying engineering or architecture or whatever. Those fields require study and self discipline over the course of a number of years.



Exactly. That means these couples get married as they are working toward their futures and they are ambitious but predominantly in the potential phase of life. So the best women chose men who demonstrate leadership and discipline to pursue a good career. I have millennial employees including some doctors and nurses. This is what these folks have done and most are now in the family phase of life in their 30s. My mother-in-law married a man who then went off the to the Air Force Academy where he went through pilot training and became a fighter pilot. You have to be an exceptional man and qualify to get an appointment to the military academies, and to be a fighter pilot. That is what my son plans to do. He wants to follow in my father-in-law's footsteps. So far he is making the grades and doing what is required to get there. It is not an easy path. But men who are serious about doing something worthwhile with their lives start young and go in a direction of discipline and ambition. These are the men who the best young women most value.

Then why do people keep telling me that money doesn't matter when according to what you're saying, it does.

 

[Lion1985]

who the f.... want marriage these days? its against (female) nature, and we see it every day in courts
men getting divorce raped, half of assets stolen, house stolen, kids stolen, because vagina doesnt get tingles anymore, she sooo unhaaappppyyy "TM"
F..k no! No marriage for me, i heard/read to many horror stories, i dont believe in romantic hollywood bulls..., i do believe in statistics
freedom is one of the most, if not the most, important things in life....

 

[BeExcellent]

You say that good women get married early. I wonder how it is that they meet these men. Is it simply one of those things that just HAPPEN? Like one of those things where relationships aren't really on your mind at the time, but then you somehow almost coincidentally meet them. I can give an example. I had a really good friend back in high school, but for the life of us we just couldn't figure out how the heck we started talking to each other. We didn't even have any classes together as strange as it was. And not just him, one of my other great friends, we just started making fun of each other and insulting one another. But then we became best buds. I don't really know how it happened, but it just sorta did. There wasn't anything mechanical or calculating about it, I wasn't consciously thinking of making friends at the time. I'm wondering if these same women marry these same men without any direct intention of finding a lover, and I wonder the same of the men as well.

Now hopefully we are getting somewhere. I would concur that you meet people whom you have proximity to. My sister the college cheerleader? She met her husband in biology class as an underclassman at university. They dated throughout university and married several years after they got out of college. My brother-in-law started out as pre-med and ended up in computer engineering, which added time to his degree. Incidentally my sister supported my brother-in-law financially for a number of years after she graduated while he finished his education. She stuck by him in lean times. Now he is extremely successful and they reap the benefits of helping one another through life. I see the same pattern in many other couples I know personally who married young and have stayed steadfast through the years. Some were high school sweethearts, some were college sweethearts, some knew each other growing up together where the parents were friends, etc.

Then why do people keep telling me that money doesn't matter when according to what you're saying, it does.

What I'm saying is that a young man generally doesn't have the trappings of wealth. What a young man has is desire, ambition and discipline to obtain wealth and create wealth. If a man wants a traditional family, then he might prefer that his wife NOT work. He might prefer (as my father did) that his wife stay home and tend to the raising of babies, which is a big job in and of itself. My mother had a JD (law degree) they met in law school. My father insisted that my mom stay home and handle the child rearing. It for him was a matter of pride to be able to support a wife and children in this way. Many traditional families are still this way. In fact in professional circles it is sometimes a status symbol that a man is able to fully support his wife & kids without her working. It typically creates the best outcomes for the children when compared to two working parents or single parents. It allows the children to receive the top priority and attention of the stay at home parent. Additionally it also frees the stay at home parent to support the working spouse in his pursuits, which creates financial efficiency.

Most any financial planner can tell you that the people that accumulate wealth most readily are married couples who stay together and work toward financial independence in a disciplined manner. This is not news and should not surprise anybody.

So to answer your question @ImTheDoubleGreatest! yes. Keep your eyes open around you now. You may find a worthwhile woman somewhere in your proximity as you go about your business of following your own life plan.

 

[AJ84]

While there are exceptions, most people marry people close to their own age, in many parts of the world, and throughout history.
When you factor out rich old man/gold digger/ white old middle income man/ desperate girl from mail order bride city or third world country, you likely won't see a older man walking around with a much younger wife.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Now hopefully we are getting somewhere. I would concur that you meet people whom you have proximity to. My sister the college cheerleader? She met her husband in biology class as an underclassman at university. They dated throughout university and married several years after they got out of college. My brother-in-law started out as pre-med and ended up in computer engineering, which added time to his degree. Incidentally my sister supported my brother-in-law financially for a number of years after she graduated while he finished his education. She stuck by him in lean times. Now he is extremely successful and they reap the benefits of helping one another through life. I see the same pattern in many other couples I know personally who married young and have stayed steadfast through the years. Some were high school sweethearts, some were college sweethearts, some knew each other growing up together where the parents were friends, etc.



What I'm saying is that a young man generally doesn't have the trappings of wealth. What a young man has is desire, ambition and discipline to obtain wealth and create wealth. If a man wants a traditional family, then he might prefer that his wife NOT work. He might prefer (as my father did) that his wife stay home and tend to the raising of babies, which is a big job in and of itself. My mother had a JD (law degree) they met in law school. My father insisted that my mom stay home and handle the child rearing. It for him was a matter of pride to be able to support a wife and children in this way. Many traditional families are still this way. In fact in professional circles it is sometimes a status symbol that a man is able to fully support his wife & kids without her working. It typically creates the best outcomes for the children when compared to two working parents or single parents. It allows the children to receive the top priority and attention of the stay at home parent. Additionally it also frees the stay at home parent to support the working spouse in his pursuits, which creates financial efficiency.

Most any financial planner can tell you that the people that accumulate wealth most readily are married couples who stay together and work toward financial independence in a disciplined manner. This is not news and should not surprise anybody.

So to answer your question @ImTheDoubleGreatest! yes. Keep your eyes open around you now. You may find a worthwhile woman somewhere in your proximity as you go about your business of following your own life plan.

Well I think making lots of money will help me. Like over $200k/year. And I really don't care if the guys on this forum tell me just to get prostitutes. I think it's just how the world works.

Honestly, though, I'm getting bored of women. I'm even getting bored of sex.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Yeah, men are raised to "man up". But men aren't all that fond of taking care of children, and some might view it as "women's work".

Because it isn't. If he has to he will do it. If he doesn't, then he shouldn't. It follows the same basic idea of just because a man CAN take **** doesn't mean he will. He's tough but he isn't a pushover.

I wouldn't say men age more slowly, women tend to outlive them. They age better, looks-wise, generally.

But that's not what I said. When women hit the wall, they hit it HARD and lose pretty much everything they were. A man? Not so much because most of his self-worth isn't based on looks or who he married or what family he came from. And women only live longer because they live easier. Men go to wars, more likely to be homocide victims, suicide victims, die in a car crash, smoke, do drugs, and we have higher testosterone (which negatively impacts your cardiovascular health) and women produce slightly higher amounts of HGh throughout their life as well (which positively impacts just about everything in your body unless you have cancer).

I recall that I used to read a lot of complaints here from guys who said that girls didn't care at all about what kind of potential they had. The girls wanted guys who had already made it. So they didn't care that the guy was in law school, they wanted the established lawyer. I haven't seen any of these posts recently though, so maybe there's been some change in opinion.

Yeah I remember the same. Maybe those same people have gotten older and actualized their potential so they got nothing to complain about anymore haha

 

[SteR]

One thing I will mention: I know in some cultures it's common to date older men eg. Latin America / Russia / Asia. I don't think the same rules apply.. although everything else pretty much applies to the rest of the western world.

 

[BeExcellent]

@LARaiders85 makes a great point. Namely that the best quality people may not be the very hottest. Everything is on a spectrum. Whatever qualities you value. This is why I keep going back to character. If you want to pick a wife that is a different animal than picking a hottie for a ONS. If you are picking a wife then while you want looks that turn you on you also must consider what kind of personality you are getting along with whatever other things might be a priority for you.

Some men value intelligence, financial savvy (frugalness), sweet disposition, submission, organization, manners, kindness, loyalty, discretion, giving or service oriented nature, etc. All men value looks. We know that. But if there are other things that are important (and for most men there are, otherwise you wouldn't hear all the guys here say - Nah man, she's not girlfriend material....) then you need to weigh what is important to you and what you most would seek in an ideal mate. Would you like someone who is a 10 across the board in all your desired categories? Well sure, and I'd love a billion dollars too. But the chances of me making a billion dollars is actually greater than you running into an across the board 10 out of 10.

So then you have to prioritize what is most important to you. Are looks your highest priority? Is intelligence (something to consider if you are going to have kids with her)? Is her sweet disposition? Her loyalty? Her family values? Her sexuality? Once you know what characteristics you value and to what degree then you can begin to see how women you encounter fit into your context. Could you find an exact fit? Possibly. Could you find a woman who comes close? Probably to likely. But you have to know what you are individually looking for and you have to be able to recognize it when it presents itself.

 

[AJ84]

Just to add to BeExcellent's post, the things you value in a potential wife should be sustainable. A hot tight body and youth are not sustainable. Everyone gets old if they don't die first. Looks are important of course but looks can't be the only thing.

For guys who really can't see value in a woman beyond a hot young body, don't get married, just date.

 

[BeExcellent]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I wanted to pull in a quote from @Amante Silvestre that I think speaks to your OP question because I think it is thoughtful and I don't know if you saw this on another thread:

When you're looking for that "quality" person in your 20's, you're likely going to come across people who fit the role: they are on the right path. They may be pursuing or completing a good education, are at the beginning of a prosperous career, etc. Their future potential may be very very promising. However, they are still young and have many years of experiences coming for them, and life doesn't always cooperate. So in large part, the "quality" person at this younger age is somewhat a bet....a gamble. They still have to materialize all of that high potential, which for most people, doesn't really start to solidify in the face of life until 30+ years old. It's easy to see who is on that path and who is not, but it still has to fully mature and materialize. There's no guarantee that such a person, say a woman for example, will eventually be the type on the verge of adopting a Chinese baby, men be damned.

Then you have the "quality" people north of 30. These are the people who have gone on to mature and have materialized much of that potential in the face of life, but by then, nearly everyone is going to have SOME sort of baggage. That's normal. That's just part of life and living it. If you're north of 30 with zero baggage, you're probably a monk.... or a nun. You're not part of the game, you're not interacting with people enough. You're not experiencing love and heart break, etc.

So what it all kind of boils down to is that you have a choice to make in your search for that "high quality" person when you go by tangible, check-list-like priorities:

1) You search for them young when they are on the right track at peak potential, but still have to stand the test of life to truly materialize those things; aka, the gamble, or...

2) You search for them when they have matured and materialized their potential, but will almost certainly have some sort of baggage that must be incorporated into the mix.

It's either the gamble or the compromise.

THAT....That is why the term "unicorn" makes me cringe, why these check-list qualities don't really matter to some extent and why I can agree with the idea that self-improvement can yield the interest of higher quality people AND that this interest from others should not be the driving reason for your self-improvement.

What we're all really looking for is just HAPPINESS, and the highest probability of achieving that is to live your life to the fullest extent that you can without forcing the gamble or the compromise, let the chips fall as they may and enjoy the ride with those you are most compatible with.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

@LARaiders85 makes a great point. Namely that the best quality people may not be the very hottest. Everything is on a spectrum. Whatever qualities you value. This is why I keep going back to character. If you want to pick a wife that is a different animal than picking a hottie for a ONS. If you are picking a wife then while you want looks that turn you on you also must consider what kind of personality you are getting along with whatever other things might be a priority for you.

Some men value intelligence, financial savvy (frugalness), sweet disposition, submission, organization, manners, kindness, loyalty, discretion, giving or service oriented nature, etc. All men value looks. We know that. But if there are other things that are important (and for most men there are, otherwise you wouldn't hear all the guys here say - Nah man, she's not girlfriend material....) then you need to weigh what is important to you and what you most would seek in an ideal mate. Would you like someone who is a 10 across the board in all your desired categories? Well sure, and I'd love a billion dollars too. But the chances of me making a billion dollars is actually greater than you running into an across the board 10 out of 10.

So then you have to prioritize what is most important to you. Are looks your highest priority? Is intelligence (something to consider if you are going to have kids with her)? Is her sweet disposition? Her loyalty? Her family values? Her sexuality? Once you know what characteristics you value and to what degree then you can begin to see how women you encounter fit into your context. Could you find an exact fit? Possibly. Could you find a woman who comes close? Probably to likely. But you have to know what you are individually looking for and you have to be able to recognize it when it presents itself.

Bah you gotta be kidding me. We've all known this before. Want good character? You may have to sacrifice looks to get it. Want good looks? You may have to sacrifice character to get it. The thing is though, I want BOTH. Why? Well I don't mean to sound vain, but because I AM both. I have both traits/qualities. Why is it that the man always has to be the one to downgrade? If I know how to take care of myself and also WILLINGLY CHOOSE to have good morals despite also having the mental capabilities to destroy others and this world, why should I have to settle for one or the other? Why not both? A woman could settle for both much more easily than a man can. She could have even been a slut prior and just moved to a different state where no one knows her there and put on an act. Yet men are more likely to struggle. You as a woman basically just admitted to the fact that there's no more hot virgin women anymore. Yet I recall a while ago you were preaching to us chastity for 'something extraordinarily special'. So good-looking men must abstain yet good-looking women don't? That's the essence of cuckoldry, which goes against all forms of nature.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I wanted to pull in a quote from @Amante Silvestre that I think speaks to your OP question because I think it is thoughtful and I don't know if you saw this on another thread:

Good quote. He basically just said to let it happen and do what you can do rather than try to force stuff to happen in order to reach happiness, which is I guess the most important thing anyway.