"If someone better came along, ide leave you"

[Crissco]

Thats what I get for being honest and trying to turn a FB of 8 months into a girlfriend.

All started when she asked what where we, and where are we headed with this.

Then she asked me if someone better came along would you leave me. I said no, then she goes "I wouldnt be able to do the same for you, sorry"

Fu*king hurts but thats life. Need-less to say I kicked her out, she came crying back(which I never saw her cry untill that night).

I got 7 text messages and calls from her, which I never responded back to.( 2 of which her wanting to give it a shot now)


Honestly, it sucks to loose her because we were very close, and could of had something great together, but im not going to be disrespected like that.

Shes LUCKY I even asked her out, I dont do that to many girls, at all. AT ALL! And kept her around for 8 months.

Now im FBless and just have randoms. But its time for me to concentrate on making money, getting an apartment, saving...etc

Ok im done..

Had to let this out...lol

Rant ended.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

To be fair to her at least she's being honest!
Almost a year ago to the day a girlfriend dumped me as she "needed to be single" and was then with a black belt kick boxer within a couple of weeks!

It's obviously the right decision to dump her but she's only saying what 90% of girls are thinking. The key is to be the best you can possibly be.

At the end of the day, if you did go out with her, and, say Avril Lavigne, or whoever your dream woman may be, came along, would you reject her? I've asked myself this question before and I can't say that I would definately say no, extreme example obviously but you can see my point.

 

[perseverance]

How did you react when she said what she said? Did you blow your top and get emotional or worked up? Friends with benefits from my experience don't last and according to people I have spoken to about their experiences very few seem to end up with the couple being in a relationship with each other. I get the impression that with FWB's that the two people are just using each other as a stop gap until they find someone they really click with. I could be wrong, but that's just my 2 cents.

 

[Iceberg]

Hey, at least you walked away.

Look around these message boards...About 80% of the other guys would write "My girl just said she'd leave me for something better...How can I raise her IL?"

 

[Crissco]

How did you react when she said what she said? Did you blow your top and get emotional or worked up? Friends with benefits from my experience don't last and according to people I have spoken to about their experiences very few seem to end up with the couple being in a relationship with each other. I get the impression that with FWB's that the two people are just using each other as a stop gap until they find someone they really click with. I could be wrong, but that's just my 2 cents.

We were a bit more then FWB, we cared for each other. She came over on my command whenever I wanted, even if we planned it 2 weeks in advance she would never flake.

I stayed there for a second took it in, walked out of my bed, took a piss. Came back, told her she has to leave. She texted me to come to the car, told her to come to the door, we talked a bit outside, told her we need a break. Went inside thought about it, texted her, its over.

Last I heard for her was last night

Hey, at least you walked away.

Look around these message boards...About 80% of the other guys would write "My girl just said she'd leave me for something better...How can I raise her IL?"

I know bro, its better I walked away, I knew what to do here. Funny part is I know thats what most girls think, but when someone verbalizes it to your face, its different.

 

[perseverance]

Clearly she can't have cared for you all that much since she was on about ditching you if a better prospect came along. You handled the situation well enough though. So kudos to you on that, Crissco.

 

[Crissco]

Clearly she can't have cared for you all that much since she was on about ditching you if a better prospect came along. You handled the situation well enough though. So kudos to you on that, Crissco.

Her actions showed she cared, not what she always said.

 

[perseverance]

Her actions showed she cared, not what she always said.

I'm sure she cared about you, just not enough to refrain from coming out with what she did. Talk about dropping a bomb, I bet you felt like Dobermann excrement after that comment? At least you got rid of her though, I just hope you have shut the door on her permanently.

 

[Crissco]

I'm sure she cared about you, just not enough to refrain from coming out with what she did. Talk about dropping a bomb, I bet you felt like Dobermann excrement after that comment? At least you got rid of her though, I just hope you have shut the door on her permanently.

I was pissed, I was pissed to the point where I didnt say anything, walked out ready to hit a wall, pee'd then kicked her out.


Shes done for good. Im not going to take disrespect like that.

We've gotten into arguments everything but nothing ever came out her mouth like that.

Fu*k it, im done for good.

 

[Voice]

Damn man that hurts.

Here's what I take out of it. In my experiences I've found that most girls are ultimately looking for a relationship. I'm willing to be she considered you at one point as relationship material but you never attempted to lock it up so she started looking elsewhere. She placed you in the fb category. Personally I don't think that's a bad place to be, unless you really want to date the girl. She continued to get sex from you but because you waited too long and didn't attempt to date her she decided that she'd keep you on the side while she looks for someone who is looking for a relationship with her.

When she said "when someone BETTER comes along" she really meant "When someone who WANTS TO DATE ME comes along". She has the hots for you but doesn't see you as relationship material.

 

[perseverance]

Good man and keep that frame and what Vice says sounds like logical sense to me. If you wanted a relationship with this girl, you should have made your move months earlier.

 

[Crissco]

Damn man that hurts.

Here's what I take out of it. In my experiences I've found that most girls are ultimately looking for a relationship. I'm willing to be she considered you at one point as relationship material but you never attempted to lock it up so she started looking elsewhere. She placed you in the fb category. Personally I don't think that's a bad place to be, unless you really want to date the girl. She continued to get sex from you but because you waited too long and didn't attempt to date her she decided that she'd keep you on the side while she looks for someone who is looking for a relationship with her.

When she said "when someone BETTER comes along" she really meant "When someone who WANTS TO DATE ME comes along". She has the hots for you but doesn't see you as relationship material.

Ive thought that too.

Wana know whats funny. She always named the reasons why we cant date, always went "thats one of the reasons we cant date!". I thought okay, this girl wants to date me. Kept it at that for a couple of weeks.

I asked her out 2 months ago, meaning i did want to date her, she said no, because were too similar. So I said okay im gonna keep it as a FB and see where it goes. 2 nights ago i pulled, "Give me reasons we can date" She has 6 legit good reasons we can date, and what she said was perfect for a relashionship.

To me, shes just a scared little girl who got hurt by her ex-boyfriend and doesnt know how to handle it still.

I know im not perfect, but ****, i sure as hell know I got a lot to offer if that persons good enough.

 

[Crissco]

Good man and keep that frame and what Vice says sounds like logical sense to me. If you wanted a relationship with this girl, you should have made your move months earlier.

I know but i was seeing other girls at that time. And didnt want to commit to just one.

 

[Voice]

Honestly I'd just play it cool Crissco. Continue to take her out places and hang out with her and have fun with her. Don't get upset over this. I'm sure you can easily judge her interest level and I'm willing to be it's still high. If she's trying to create a little space between you and her because of a past relationship then let her have a little space. That's really the only time I can think of when a girl wants "space" and it really isn't a bad thing. Whatever you do, don't get all serious about this, just have fun. Dating is suppose to be fun.

 

[Crissco]

Honestly I'd just play it cool Crissco. Continue to take her out places and hang out with her and have fun with her. Don't get upset over this. I'm sure you can easily judge her interest level and I'm willing to be it's still high. If she's trying to create a little space between you and her because of a past relationship then let her have a little space. That's really the only time I can think of when a girl wants "space" and it really isn't a bad thing. Whatever you do, don't get all serious about this, just have fun. Dating is suppose to be fun.

Im done with her bro. Shes not trying to create space. According to her, she didnt sleep last night and wants to date me now.

Im done with her and her push/pull sh*t all the time. Theres better girls out there.

Plus her past relashionship was 3 years ago!! She needs to get over it already.

 

[pdx1138]

Crissco keep that thought going because it's the right thing.

I had THE EXACT thing happen to me with my fwb last March.
She did the same $hit too.

She started disrespecting me and I just took it, but only for a few weeks then out of the blue when she least expected I dumped her a$$.

It was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made (we'd been friends for 25 years though hadn't spoken to each other for 6 of those years prior to our affair)

I knew I had to end it when she said: "In june I'll know if I'll settle with you."

It was late at night, her place, just finished a movie...we were both drunk. Right then I knew I had to get out.

I'll admit the roller-coaster of a relationship we had for a year had some really unforgettable times, but enough is enough when they disrespect.

Later I found out, she was always looking for a bigger better deal.

 

[rainmandc]

You did good mate. This can be described as honesty, but to be honest I would rather call it disrespect. I mean, that sounds pretty ****ing bad to say to a person you have been spending so much time with.

Be strong, get some hobbies, start dating other women and forget about her.:wave:

 

[Die Hard]

All started when she asked what where we, and where are we headed with this.

Then she asked me if someone better came along would you leave me. I said no, then she goes "I wouldnt be able to do the same for you, sorry"

I'm very curious about what happened in between. How did you respond to the first question (what are we/where's this heading), could you give us an idea on how that part of the conversation went?

First of all, I'm curious about that coz it's a standard question/situation that will happen to all of us DJ's many times in our lives. We can all benefit from hearing a "live" example of this.

Furthermore, that part of the conversation and how you acted during it, might hold great relevance with regards to what came next (the question about leaving for a better person). So how did you respond when she asked that first question and what was said between the two of you from there on until that final question came?

 

[TopGun2000]

it sounds like she tried to control you or force you to commit and failed. then she turned out to be a b**** to pretend that she didn't lose. well, at lease shes immature

 

[Jeffst1980]

My take? I think she was playing a game to try and gain the upper hand. She wouldn't bring up the "what are we?" conversation if she just saw you as a stopgap. When girls treat a guy as a second-stringer, they act aloof. They don't talk about "where things are going."

I think her statement was said to protect her ego. I'm not sure how you responded when she asked where things were going, but I'm thinking you might've called it something along the lines of FWB, which would indicate that you don't view her as relationship material. Her response was too pointed to be a true display of disinterest. Furthermore, you say her actions before all this were consistent with those of a high interest woman.

You still behaved appropriately, IMO. She sounds like she has some issues with trust that will likely lead her to sabotage her future relationships. If she truly wanted a relationship, she should've said as much, rather than playing the "who cares less?" game.

Again, this is all just conjecture on my part. I just think that if she really WAS stringing you along and waiting for a better deal, she wouldn't verbalize it, and she certainly wouldn't have brought it up.