I was a virgin at 21 and at 23 I have slept with 12 women but now I'm mentally ruined.

[self_is_an_illusion]

BRO what is wrong with you. If you met a woman who has slept with 8 other men, by Western Standards, she's a Virgin.

I wouldn't let her slip away lol

Wish I knew this sooner

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

As the title says, I'm 23 and have slept with 12 women in the past 2 years.
I posted this thread 2 years ago explaining my situation. I realized that I was sabotaging myself severely when it came to women.

Today, I have a job as a SOC analysts making $65k a year. On the women side of things, things have gotten better.

I'm currently seeing 3 women, dating and sex. I haven't and don't plan on committing to any of these women because that would take time away from my career progression. I have also joined the gym and I'm at 73kg.

The only thing I'm lacking is friends. I still have 0. The only reason I've slept with 12 women is because I literally took the approach of a computer. Read info about approaching, go out, try it out, fail, analyze, and improve. When I go out, I do it alone, no friends. This takes out all the fun out of life. I tried making friends but most of them talk nothing but bs. I tried making friends with similar interest, but they're all geeks doing IT stuff in their bedroom and never leave the house. The only friend I can actually hang out with for hours is my brother but he lives in Mexico City and almost never comes around.

Another issue I have is that I've noticed how slutty women really are and I hate to say it but that ****s with my mind. I see the women I'm talking to and the ones I meet with disgust because I assume they're all sluts. I still enjoy them but they disgust me. I even told one girl, "You're nothing but a slut to me. Where I'm going there's no place for sluts like you, I don't want to see you again".

I want to have kids and a wife eventually but what's the point of improving myself and busting my ass on my career if I'm going to end up with a woman that has slept with 8 other men? I rather be alone.

I also masturbate and watch porn on X, 2-3 a week. This is also part of the problem that I'm trying to fix but it has been hard.

I realized that I'm heading towards an unhealthy life (at least when it comes to women) and I came here to ask for help.

Firstly, I want to commend you on your remarkable career progression. Your ability to secure a stable job as a SOC analyst and your clear focus on advancing in your career are truly admirable. It's evident that you possess a strong sense of ambition and responsibility, qualities that are undoubtedly the bedrock of your professional achievements. Your dedication to excelling in your field and striving for better is not only a testament to your work ethic but also an inspiration to those around you.

Equally impressive is your commitment to physical health. In today's world, where it's all too easy to neglect our well-being, you've shown remarkable dedication to fitness and maintaining a healthy weight. This commitment speaks volumes about your determination to take care of yourself, ensuring that you are in the best possible shape to tackle the challenges and opportunities that life throws your way. Your physical health is a critical component of your overall well-being, and your efforts to prioritize it are commendable.

Perhaps most importantly, your willingness to engage in self-analysis and seek improvement is a quality that stands out. It's a brave and insightful approach to personal development, recognizing that growth often comes from facing our shortcomings head-on. This mindset of continuous self-improvement is a powerful tool, one that will undoubtedly serve you well in all facets of life. By embracing this journey of self-discovery and refinement, you're setting yourself up for a future filled with even greater successes and fulfillment.

As you move forward, remember that the path to self-improvement is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be obstacles and challenges along the way, but with your resilience, determination, and willingness to grow, there's no doubt that you will overcome them. Keep pushing yourself, keep exploring new horizons, and most importantly, keep believing in your capacity to achieve greatness.

 

[pipeman84]

Yes, he can appear the same, but I posit his ability to pair bond is also diminished, as a woman's will be the more notches she accumulates.

A guy could go on a fvck spree and fvck 3-5 different girls in a day and his ability to pair bond isn't affected one iota. Those girls are nothing more than real life sex dolls to him and by fvcking them he satisfies his natural urge to unload and conquer.
Now, if a woman does the same thing she's either a sex worker or a mentally deranged woman.

A guy who has slept with a ton of women suddenly deciding he wants a pious low body count girl, or a girl who has slept with a ton of men now pretending she is all innocent and wants a pious, nice man to settle down with and play house with 2 kids.

The 2 scenarios are very different, it's like comparing masculine and feminine biology.

The chances are increased he will see this girl as just another notch in his belt rather than consider serious relations with her with the end goal of marriage.

Not if she's a good girl. Notches are not made up of good girls.

Even further so, the girl will probably think the same. "Hmm this guy has slept with a ton of women, he is a celebrity/athlete, I am probably just another notch in his belt for him".

Again, if she's a good girl and he's indeed a guy with good moral qualities, they'll recognize each-other on the like attracts like principle. It's not that hard for her to check if he sees her as potential wife or just a notch, now is it?

PS: is it just me or do @self_is_an_illusion posts appear be written by AI such as ChatGPT? C'mon man, who talks and writes like that?

 

[DreamAgain]

A guy could go on a fvck spree and fvck 3-5 different girls in a day and his ability to pair bond isn't affected one iota. Those girls are nothing more than real life sex dolls to him and by fvcking them he satisfies his natural urge to unload and conquer.
Now, if a woman does the same thing she's either a sex worker or a mentally deranged woman.

The 2 scenarios are very different, it's like comparing masculine and feminine biology.

Not if she's a good girl. Notches are not made up of good girls.

Again, if she's a good girl and he's indeed a guy with good moral qualities, they'll recognize each-other on the like attracts like principle. It's not that hard for her to check if he sees her as potential wife or just a notch, now is it?

I don't think going on a fvck spree is morally wrong. But I do think it is morally illogical to bemoan wanting a low body count good girl if your life up to that point was going on fvck sprees with h0es.

And no, it is more than biology, we as men also develop feelings when we have s3x, it is natural. You can look through the archives of this forum, of guys lamenting and pining for their exes. Some would say these guys are AFCs. I say they are just having a normal human reaction. There is a certain level of psychopathy involved to just have casual sex with a person and develop no feelings for that person whatsoever.

Actually is in biology that for both sexes, the act of sex itself releases hormones that makes us pair bond with each other further.

Look it up if you don't believe me, but it makes intuitive sense, and it has a scientific foundation.

 

[pipeman84]

I don't think going on a fvck spree is morally wrong. But I do think it is morally illogical to bemoan wanting a low body count good girl if your life up to that point was going on fvck sprees with h0es.

And no, it is more than biology, we as men also develop feelings when we have s3x, it is natural. You can look through the archives of this forum, of guys lamenting and pining for their exes. Some would say these guys are AFCs. I say they are just having a normal human reaction. There is a certain level of psychopathy involved to just have casual sex with a person and develop no feelings for that person whatsoever.

Actually is in biology that for both sexes, the act of sex itself releases hormones that makes us pair bond with each other further.

Look it up if you don't believe me, but it makes intuitive sense, and it has a scientific foundation.

Entering a relationship with a woman with a bunch of red flags (which they recognised right from the start but chose to ignore) is what those guys starting threads pinning for their exes did. That's not what I'm talking about and I never encouraged that kind of behavior. In the end that's also a like attracts like example because a guy who is just following his natural urge to unload won't spend days, weeks texting, seducing, fighting, playing games etc with that kind of a woman.
Biology is very different, not just visually evident but the consequences of sex are also very different because only women can get pregnant. That's a huge difference with immense life/death impact that is hardwired in the genes, taking a birth control pill won't suddenly change that.
Making love to someone you deeply care about releases hormones that pair bond you to her, not fvcking a woman doggy style, a woman you know from the get-go is nothing more than primal sex (either paid directly or indirectly).

 

[DreamAgain]

Entering a relationship with a woman with a bunch of red flags (which they recognised right from the start but chose to ignore) is what those guys starting threads pinning for their exes did. That's not what I'm talking about and I never encouraged that kind of behavior. In the end that's also a like attracts like example because a guy who is just following his natural urge to unload won't spend days, weeks texting, seducing, fighting, playing games etc with that kind of a woman.
Biology is very different, not just visually evident but the consequences of sex are also very different because only women can get pregnant. That's a huge difference with immense life/death impact that is hardwired in the genes, taking a birth control pill won't suddenly change that.
Making love to someone you deeply care about releases hormones that pair bond you to her, not fvcking a woman doggy style, a woman you know from the get-go is nothing more than primal sex (either paid directly or indirectly).

Well, modern day women have many red flags, I don't have a problem with blaming the men for ignoring them. To me this is a chicken and the egg question though. Who deserves more blame, the women for choosing to develop these red flags, or the men who chose to ignore them?

Not a very useful question perhaps, you may think it's irrelevant. I blame the women more because the men for the most part had more noble intentions in this "transaction" and tried to make the best of things.

 

[Black Widow Void]

But 99.99% women can if fact get laid, easily, whenever they want; there´s always a metephorical line of thristy men that would bang them if they get the chance. While men have to earn sex via self improvement, game, escalation, etc.

I would disagree. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most handsome guy in the room, nor wealthy, or the most stylishly dressed. But the truth is, (and not to brag) I do really well. I think the reason is because I don’t hold onto those above group-think beliefs. In other words I’m not hostage to a certain mindset, which makes me a lot more freer and comfortable and relaxed in public. I think that’s what women find attractive in me. I’ve never asked and so I really don’t know for sure.

Women can get pregnant and men cant. That´s a few reasons why I politely disagree with the whole "Hypocrisy" and "double standard".

Disagreeing is fine. A man may not be able to get pregnant, but he’s got at least an 18 year sentence by impregnating a woman. Yet we apply one set of rules for a woman and another for a man? Again I consider that a double standard. You may disagree, and that’s okay.

Anyways. The reason I suggested the OP to PM you is because you know its possible to find certain type of girls up to your early 30s. He is still too young to be this dissapointed.

Disagreements are totally cool in my book. How else do we evolve and mature if not for hearing and being open to views do not reflect our own.

Admittedly, it felt like a victory to still be popping cherries even in my 30s. However, this ‘victorious’ feeling is really silly and superficial.

Let’s be honest with ourselves… such a ‘conquest’ is really nothing but stupid ego. And yes, I can laugh at myself on this one. It’s really no different than a woman posting on social media and receiving validation. Most members here refuse to look at their own hypocrisy, but this mentality behavior is really no different than a woman’s behavioral mentality.

As long as a woman is tight, attractive, intelligent, and mentally balanced (by female standards that is) that’s all I really require.

 

[The Duke]

Men are the leaders of society and romantic relationships, women are the followers. We all pretty much subscribe to that theory.

So tell me again how men aren't some what responsible for the chaos going on these days? Its leadership that sets the stage for what plays out.

And the guy that leads the virgin bandwagon can't see this! If men would require more out of women, and stop fuhking everything he can just for the fun of it, things would change. There would be more women with less miles on them, and more virgins to go around for that crowd as well.

 

[DreamAgain]

Men are the leaders of society and romantic relationships, women are the followers. We all pretty much subscribe to that theory.

So tell me again how men aren't some what responsible for the chaos going on these days? Its leadership that sets the stage for what plays out.

And the guy that leads the virgin bandwagon can't see this! If men would require more out of women, and stop fuhking everything he can just for the fun of it, things would change. There would be more women with less miles on them, and more virgins to go around for that crowd as well.

Well said.

 

[The Duke]

Let’s be honest with ourselves… such a ‘conquest’ is really nothing but stupid ego. And yes, I can laugh at myself on this one. It’s really no different than a woman posting on social media and receiving validation. Most members here refuse to look at their own hypocrisy, but this mentality behavior is really no different than a woman’s behavioral mentality.

I went thru a lot of women before I finally realized that. I now realize I have a power and appreciate what I am capable of. I don't need to convince myself and rub my own ego anymore.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Then...There´s the other side. I suggest you PM @Modern Man Advice and @Black Widow Void for some advice on this particular topic and avoid all the negativity polarizing.

Thanks @Dr.Suave

@ABC123 (I love the Quico profile pic, I grew up watching El Chavo Del Ocho).

Regarding women: STAY AWAY from thinking all women are sluts or that all women are bad aka any Black Pill ideology. Or that there aren't good women out there. Because they are not all sluts, they are not all bad, and there ARE good women out there.

However, you are probably attracting or what I like to call using your RAS (reticular articulating system) only to allow you to perceive these types of women. Take it from someone who has "deflowered" several girls, with my current girl also a virgin at the time I met her and I am still with her.

There are good women out there. And like anything in society, there are as many bad "men" out there as good men. NEVER generalize or assume or anticipate, because that WILL become your reality.

Regarding lifestyle: It is never too late to change your reality and lifestyle. If anything at 23 your brain is physically still developing. You have an enormous chance to turn things around and have "that" life, whatever that is for you and you alone. I, personally, do not find it hard to develop healthy/constructive routines, habits, and mindset, but it comes down to YOUR choice. As I've advised many times here before, it's all about setting yourself up for success. Setting baby goals you know you can and will achieve, and let it snowball into a cemented mindset/lifestyle.

Lastly, this involves both topics above How YOU SPEAK TO YOURSELF is critically important. You speak yourself into reality so watch carefully how you speak to yourself and what thoughts live rent-free in your mind.

Hope this helps.

 

[Desdinova]

Another issue I have is that I've noticed how slutty women really are and I hate to say it but that ****s with my mind.

This is a sad reality. A good 90% of the women out there are nothing but bags of trash with a hole to stick your d1ck in. What stinks is that it's not just that they're slvtty, they're also disrespectful and entitled. I also have a very difficult time looking at women and seeing something other than a bag of trash. It gets even worse with women in their 30s. I frequently got sick of dating all the trash and had to take numerous breaks from dating to clear my head. It's unhealthy to go into a new prospect with the thought that she's just a lousy bag of trash to stick your d1ck into, but that's what happens when a high percentage of women are just that... trash.

My best advice for you is to date women as young as possible. When you date a woman who's still theoretically a stone-throw away from her innocence, the greater chance you have finding one who still has it.

But my question is... When the day comes that you find a woman who still has her innocence, do you have the skills to make her completely obsessed with you? If you don't, then that's something you should work on. Practice on the bags of garbage. Once you can get women successfully pursuing YOU, then you know you're ready to get yourself a non-corrupted piece of a55.

 

[pipeman84]

A man may not be able to get pregnant, but he’s got at least an 18 year sentence by impregnating a woman. Yet we apply one set of rules for a woman and another for a man? Again I consider that a double standard.

An extra tax on income and that only IF (huge IF) the paternity is established. You compare that to pregnancy, giving birth and raising the child, which are a sure thing unless abortion is considered?

Men are the leaders of society and romantic relationships, women are the followers. We all pretty much subscribe to that theory.

So tell me again how men aren't some what responsible for the chaos going on these days? Its leadership that sets the stage for what plays out.

And the guy that leads the virgin bandwagon can't see this! If men would require more out of women, and stop fuhking everything he can just for the fun of it, things would change. There would be more women with less miles on them, and more virgins to go around for that crowd as well.

How is refraining from fvcking escorts or women with obvious mileage on them from swipe apps or nightclubs going to increase the number of virgin women?
One could say that if an escort would have no more clients, she would choose to do something else, BUT that doesn't erase her past and magically transform her into wife material.

 

[pipeman84]

My best advice for you is to date women as young as possible. When you date a woman who's still theoretically a stone-throw away from her innocence, the greater chance you have finding one who still has it.

100% agree.

But my question is... When the day comes that you find a woman who still has her innocence, do you have the skills to make her completely obsessed with you? If you don't, then that's something you should work on. Practice on the bags of garbage. Once you can get women successfully pursuing YOU, then you know you're ready to get yourself a non-corrupted piece of a55.

That's where you lose me. What's there to practice on low quality women? In my view, the more time one spends with them, the more detrimental it gets.

 

[Black Widow Void]

One could say that if an escort would have no more clients, she would choose to do something else, BUT that doesn't erase her past and magically transform her into wife material.

Although I’ve never paid for an escort, the truth is that we’ve all paid a fee for female company.

When we buy drinks or a meal, we are ‘paying.’ Yet, despite your participation in this ritual, these women (dates) that accept your ‘payment’ (you - picking up the tab) are somehow above scrutiny while escorts (doing the exact same thing) are not? Tell me more…

 

[Desdinova]

That's where you lose me. What's there to practice on low quality women? In my view, the more time one spends with them, the more detrimental it gets.

Are the odds going to be in his favor when he finds an un-corrupted young woman? When his interaction with her ends, is she going to forget about him the next day? I honestly believe there's value in practice. If he has bags of trash randomly flirting with him or blowing up his phone, then he'll be able to get the one he wants. If he generally repels women or they ghost him regularly, then he still needs to work on getting himself stuck in the minds of the women he interacts with.

 

[DreamAgain]

An extra tax on income and that only IF (huge IF) the paternity is established. You compare that to pregnancy, giving birth and raising the child, which are a sure thing unless abortion is considered?

How is refraining from fvcking escorts or women with obvious mileage on them from swipe apps or nightclubs going to increase the number of virgin women?
One could say that if an escort would have no more clients, she would choose to do something else, BUT that doesn't erase her past and magically transform her into wife material.

That is true, banging escorts isn't a problem. It is really the money and the risk of STDs.

 

[pipeman84]

When we buy drinks or a meal, we are ‘paying.’ Yet, despite your participation in this ritual, these women (dates) that accept your ‘payment’ (you - picking up the tab) are somehow above scrutiny while escorts (doing the exact same thing) are not? Tell me more…

I don't understand the question.

 

[DreamAgain]

@pipeman84 I guess I don't agree that guys who just banged tons of these trash bag h0es like @Desdinova accurately points out are going to be content with a prudish "good girl" who won't do a quarter of what these h0es were willing to do.

There are further implications beyond a girl just deciding she is going to open her legs and do a million different things. There is a manner of communication, and a way a man has to present himself to be attractive to these type of women so that they are willing to do so.

I guess in the same manner that you can't turn a h0e into a housewife, I am skeptical you can turn a player into a "dad-mode" type of guy who will be a good family man and encourage family values with his traditional wife.

 

[The Duke]

How is refraining from fvcking escorts or women with obvious mileage on them from swipe apps or nightclubs going to increase the number of virgin women?
One could say that if an escort would have no more clients, she would choose to do something else, BUT that doesn't erase her past and magically transform her into wife material.

Correcting societal issues doesn't change things over night. We didn't get to where we are over night did we? It been decades in the making. Prostitutes used to be contained to red light districts, now they masquerade as regular women on dating sites. Even Onlyfans is somewhat accepted.