Honestly, I think I may have judged too fast. If it's only been 2 years and 12 women, you can still recover. But you'd have to drop the lifestyle ASAP, say goodbye to the plates, and be dead serious about the next woman being the keeper.
I'm going to make up an exaggerated example. Maybe then it will be clear. The question at hand is this:
You and your friend are driving back to his house. There's an injured cat on the side of the road, so the two of you stop to check it out. Your friend's aunt works as a receptionist in a veternarian's office that's been family owned for 3 generations. You bring the cat in and the head vet admires you and your friend for this. There's an 19 year old intern working under this vet and she strikes up a conversation, saying you two are really sweet. Your friend notices this, and so does his aunt. They both see a spark between you too. You and your friend drop off the cat and leave the office.
Your friend asks what you think of her, implying you should go for it. He suggests coming back tomorrow to check up on the cat as an excuse. Your friend's aunt lets you speak to the vet (because both your friend's aunt and the head vet know you really came to see the intern, and... so does the intern). They give you some privacy to ask her out and nudge her beforehand ("He seems nice," etc.).
You go on a date together. She asks you about your relationship history, you answer you were seeing one girl but you politely told her it wont work out - too different. You ask her. She tells you her last boyfriend moved out of state and they decided to end it instead of making it long distance. Several dates later, you meet her parents. They see you as a gentlemen, you bring over some food, nice chit chat for a while. She later meets your family. They're all polite to her. Your mom likes her a lot.
The potential relationship has been approved by:
- your friend
- his aunt
- the head vet
- her parents
- your parents
And, as a bonus, let's just imagine that both of you have a 3 or less body count. Neither of you will be jaded and distrusting about entering a new relationship.
So this part of the question has been answered for both you and her:
It was answered by the people closest to you/her already. They do the screening, and you two just make the final call based on personality. Remember, blue pill strategy is what's needed for what you're looking for here, not red pill.
And this part is obvious:
Pure chance, luck, and coincidence that you're prepared for
Now, imagine that same woman, but instead of getting green lights through her social circle, you did a cold approach. And she found out you were dating multiple women at the same time. And she picked up on your inability to trust women. And you told her that you can only evaluate her as a quality woman after she first gives you sex. And she has no idea if she/you can fit in each other's social circles. Etc. This is that red pill lone wolf lifestyle. It can get you interchangeable plates, but it can't get you
this woman (which you actually want, or at least say so). Either drop the red pill or drop the standards.
You've heard this before:
"Why can't I just sin my whole life and then apologize to a priest right before death?"
The answer: Because you won't be capable of apologizing by then.
You're right up to that line.