I think my gf is going to break up with me need some advice

[Dman101]

I've been dating a girl for the past 6 months and everything has been amazing. We got along so well, she is beautiful, she takes me out to dinner sometimes, shes low maintenence and I love her. She always told me how amazing I am and how she could see herself with me for a long time.

Our one issue throughout the relationship is that shes from the city(not a really good place) and I live an hour away so she takes the train out here to see me. Our work schedules are different so at times we'd see each other once every week or other week. Also before me, she dated a lot of bad boys, older guys, guys with tattoos and I'm not an afc or nothing, I'm a tall good looking guy and I'm not super nice or anything, but they were a lot different in bed than I am.

She didnt like how things were originally in bed so she started taking birth control so we could stop using condoms and things got better. The thing is she was frustrated with how the sex wasn't how shes used to so lately shes lost her sex drive. Also the distance started getting to her. It seemed like she wanted to have kids with me one day and marry me one day all that stuff.

Now she said stuff like shes frustrated and that this relationship is a lot of work. She hasnt replied to my text yesterday or Monday, and I feel so bad. I know that women change pretty quick with things but she seemed like she was deeply in love with me and wanted to make this work.

I know that the right thing to do is to leave her alone and let her text or call me instead of chasing her, but I was thinking about sending her a long text telling her how I feel and what we could do to fix the issues and saying if the feelings arent mutual I'll leave her alone

 

[st_99]

stop crying, man up and go find another girl.

 

[European-DJ]

How old are you?

 

[bigneil]

When your dump detectors go off, dump them first. You can't lose them by dumping them. They only want you more.

 

[DonGorgon]

She has started dumping you emotionally already and cutting off sex is a big part of that for females.. an she has chosen a new guy already to be her BF.. It sounds like you did not satisfy her sexually maybe cause she was out of your league sex wise..

DUMP HER NOW WITHOUT WARNING JUST CALL HER AND TELL HER ITS NOT WORKING AND YOU ARE DONE. If she begs you to keep heronly use her for sex and nothing more..

 

[ezio]

Whatever you do, don't send her a letter or text or anything of that sort,that's one of the most pathetic things you could ever do as a man. simply ignore and keep it moving. you'll get another girl eventually

 

[Dman101]

Damn I just sent her a long email to just tell her how I feel because this wasnt just some ordinary relationship it had a lot of potential, I really thought she could be my future wife. I just wanted to get closure with things. I explained everything in a good strong way, and if she accepts it cool if not I can move on.

 

[st_99]

Damn I just sent her a long email to just tell her how I feel because this wasnt just some ordinary relationship it had a lot of potential, I really thought she could be my future wife. I just wanted to get closure with things. I explained everything in a good strong way, and if she accepts it cool if not I can move on.

fail

 

[Slickster]

The thing is she was frustrated with how the sex wasn't how shes used to so lately shes lost her sex drive. Also the distance started getting to her.

Don't kid yourself about the distance thing. A woman will move mountains to be with the guy she wants.

To me it sounds like she has lost the "spark". She isn't excited by you anymore. From what you are saying she is used to dating/screwing bad boy types.

While the right thing to do is dump her first, there really is something you need to do before you do that.

You need to fvck her brains out!

You need to somehow get in there one more time with the thought in your head that this is the very last time you will screw her. When you do it you CANNOT be romanticizing the relationship or worried about losing her. You CANNOT be worrying about her pleasure either. This is about you!

You need to take her like a man and when you are done there is no cuddling or pillow talk allowed. In fact you don't say anything at all. You lay there silently breathing heavily until you catch your breath. Don't even respond if she says something. Slowly catch your breath and go quiet as if you are drifting off to sleep.

Then after a good amount of time has gone by, jump up in a panic and get dressed in a hurry. She'll ask what's going on and just say "Sh!t I forgot about something." If she pressures you, be vague. Say something like "I have to meet someone." or "I'm supposed to be somewhere." When she asks for more details say "I'll tell you about it later. Sorry babe, I gotta go!" Then rush out of the place like there is somewhere way more important to be.

The next step is to wait. You need to disappear for a little while and not contact her. Let her come to you. When she does it is YOU who needs to act like you are about to dump her. You need to be uninterested and almost semi-annoyed. If she asks about the crazy sex tell her you couldn't control yourself. If she asks about where you went afterwards, tell her about a fun party or get together you had to attend.

You may find that she has completely turned her attitude around and is suddenly drawn to you. If not she may be confused and trying to figure out what is going on. Use your judgement and play the aloof don't-give-a-sh!t attitude until she either comes around or you sense that a break up is pending.

If it's the latter, make sure you dump her first. Don't get overly sentimental about it either. Be cold. Be tough.

This all may sound harsh to you but believe me that it is worth it. You don't want to be the pvssy that cried and got his heart broken into a million pieces when she dumps your a$$. She will forever look at you like a lost little boy.

If you follow what I have instructed she may actually be more attracted to you and you won't have to break up. If not and you do split with her, she may be very pissed off at first but at the same time you will have gained respect. The person who breaks it off always has the upper hand.

 

[Slickster]

Holy fcuk dude! Complete and utter FAIL!!!!

I guess I came to the party late with my advice.

Good luck with that.

Keep us updated.

 

[bigneil]

While the right thing to do is dump her first, there really is something you need to do before you do that.

You need to fvck her brains out!

You need to somehow get in there one more time with the thought in your head that this is the very last time you will screw her.

Quote of the day. I had oneitis for a girl from 1987 until 1997, sleeping with her exactly once in 1993. Then in 2002 (she was 29) I hate-f*cked her, got dressed and walked out and she has chased me for 10 years since.

 

[49au]

Slickster's post was awesome.

I found myself in a LTR with a girl that was losing interest last year, and I made the same mistakes you did. Though in my case the girl was fvcking insane, and it was a good thing that it ended.

When you find yourself in a situation with a girl losing interest, pursuing her is NOT going to bring her back. I'm dealing with the same thing right now with a girl who isn't my gf, but we've been out several times and it was heading that way.

You have to mentally disconnect and go ahead and accept that you have lost them, and proceed accordingly. Stop worrying, stop planning, stop strategizing, just go live your life and focus on other things. A lot of times - probably most times - they will come back around out of sheer ego. "Why isn't he upset? Why isn't he trying to get me back?" They have bigger egos than we do.

 

[49au]

bigneil - my friend was in an LTR for over a year with an 8, smart girl, just became a pharmacist. A lot going for her.

He started going soft on her and she dumped him. Well, they got back together and then a few weeks later, he dumped her. Even told her she was terrible in bed.

It's been several months now and she is still chasing him, and it's kind of scary how psycho she's gotten with it. This stuff is powerful.

 

[st_99]

bigneil - my friend was in an LTR for over a year with an 8, smart girl, just became a pharmacist. A lot going for her.

He started going soft on her and she dumped him. Well, they got back together and then a few weeks later, he dumped her. Even told her she was terrible in bed.

It's been several months now and she is still chasing him, and it's kind of scary how psycho she's gotten with it. This stuff is powerful.

lol, good stuff

 

[SMS 48]

Dman101 you are a complete f@ggot. You know how I know? Because I would have done the same thing as you and I'm a complete f@ggot.

 

[ezio]

Damn I just sent her a long email to just tell her how I feel because this wasnt just some ordinary relationship it had a lot of potential, I really thought she could be my future wife. I just wanted to get closure with things. I explained everything in a good strong way, and if she accepts it cool if not I can move on.

Hahaha you're suffering from what we call oneitis, yes its a disease and you need a cure fast before it turns you into a complete simp and makes you a girls *****. Now about that letter, you sent it because you didn't know better but that is water under the bridge now. i doubt its going to bring your girl back to you, reasoning with a girl is a waste of your time. once she decides to go, nothing you say will bring her back. she'll most likely dump you and try to soothe you with an offer of friendship, expect the dreaded LJBF speech sometime soon. Anyways don't fall for it, reject any offers to be her friend and walk away. go complete NC, move on with your life breh. *****es come and go, its a fact of life

 

[bish0p]

****...that's life for you. I honestly think the guys here are giving you advice that you're not ready for. In my opinion, you're too emotionally close to the situation to do any of the things Slickster mentioned and I have a feeling that it will backfire on you if have the chance to try and screw her over....at least that's what happened to me.

I would say just let things take it's course...if you can, dump her first, do it. If not, live and learn. Let this event make you stronger and wiser.

I also agree with what ezio wrote.

 

[Dman101]

Thanks guys, I've actually emotionally disconnected myself from the situation somewhat throughout the whole relationship. We've had a mini break up a few months ago and after that I told her some good things and after that she told me she loved me and we've gotten better. Its a very complicated situation, because everything is there just the sexual passion wasnt there at first and even though I got much better, the birth control shut her body down I believe so its like she probably thinks its still me even though she admits I'm a lot better.

I'm not a total symp in this situation because I've met other plates and kept myself in the game during this whole "relationship" because I understand the game and how *****es come and go so it didnt make sense to completely put myself out there. Now the reality that this could be it does hurt a lot because I've come a long way in the game from a shy ass dude with no game to sleeping with 8 girls last year and getting a really good looking woman down for me and I really did love her and bought into her talks about us having a future together. My letter was actually really good I showed a female friend who knows the game and she said it was perfect so if she still has any emotions toward me she will come back from reading that, but if not I need to chalk it up to the game.

My one thing is this is going to really mess with my head and make me feel really bad about women. I almost feel like I have to always stay in the game no matter how good the woman seems and what shes telling me cant ever let my guard down and need to always have other women or something. I'm not just being emotional or anything but it just feels like women are very fickle so it makes no sense to give them your heart and love when they will just turn on you eventually anyway.

 

[Innovater]

My letter was actually really good I showed a female friend who knows the game and she said it was perfect so if she still has any emotions toward me she will come back from reading that, but if not I need to chalk it up to the game.

Never ask a female for advice on women, they rarely ever know what they want. It's better to ask guys on this forum, or guys who are good with women etc.

Could you post a modified version (to avoid google searches) of the letter here?

 

[Dman101]

basically i said that I know shes going through a lot, and i think we have a really special thing and I dont want to let it go to waste when i know we can fix this.

I said that about the birth control I looked into it and saw that it can really mess up your hormones and cause you to lose your sex drive. I said I want her to stop taking it and I told her I really felt we were on the verge of having amazing sex because I've been in a different place lately.

I said about the distance I realize that I could have done more to make it easier on us. If could start picking her up after work and bringing her to my place more often so that we dont have 2 and 3 weeks of not seeing each other. then I said I love her a lot , we've gotten through a lot of things so far I told her I love her smile, her eyes, how we joke around, everything. I told her I love her so much and all that. I really thought it would work, she text me back saying she got it, thanks for letting her know how I feel, and she doesnt feel any better. After that I went to play some basketball and I feel a lot better. Haven't texted her back at all, going to just leave her alone I guess because she gave me a pretty cold answer. Was thinking about trying to see her one more time but I duno, I dont want to overthink all of this because the more I think about it the more it hurts. I'm chilling with some friends right now and I feel pretty cool, its not even on my mind. I just find it amazing how a woman can change and go so cold so fast when she seemed to really love you and want to be with you and have kids with you and all that **** when I didnt even do anything wrong, and I look really good, tall, and got all my stuff together