I think I just got dumped

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IsiMan84 said:
I wouldn't have said a thing and just let it go. Now she's got expectations that you didn't want her to have. Especially if she already has you apologizing for 'wrongdoings' after what I assume to be only 4-5 encounters (one month). At least for the time you weren't talking you'd be living in peace and could focus on other things.

Yeah this is the main fear I have. But don't worry, if she tries this crap again I'm going to cut her off real quick. It's not like I'm planning on asking her to move in with me. We haven't talked a word about being exclusive or anything like that. She hasn't brought it up.

What should I say if it comes up?
 

IsiMan84

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Rule with an iron fist and don't let it get rusty. Well to be honest there's probably no one thing you could say as it would most likely depend on the situation. Especially if she's this crazy towards any opposition. Something along the lines of "not having enough 'time/energy/resources/insert BS here' to contribute to a healthy relationship" would probably sound the best aesthetically. At least it sounds like you're blaming yourself and she'll let it go (I hope).

But a really easy way to avoid the issue altogether would be to see her on an infrequent/irregular basis, which would at least validate the excuse you made up. Instead of every weekend like she's been expecting, if it was every other weekend, once a month or just some random day in the week. At least she would get the idea that you have other stuff going on and things aren't too serious, without you having to tell her outright. Chances are you wouldn't ask somebody to be exclusive if you rarely see them, right?

Also try to limit the amount of times you talk to her in a given period. So instead of those small talk conversations you might have during the week, talk to her only when you want her to come by. Then hopefully she would start to associate hearing from you with sex and the like. You just need to get her in the mindset that you aren't relationship material without you saying so. That's my take at least.
 
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IsiMan84 said:
Rule with an iron fist and don't let it get rusty. Well to be honest there's probably no one thing you could say as it would most likely depend on the situation. Especially if she's this crazy towards any opposition. Something along the lines of "not having enough 'time/energy/resources/insert BS here' to contribute to a healthy relationship" would probably sound the best aesthetically. At least it sounds like you're blaming yourself and she'll let it go (I hope).

But a really easy way to avoid the issue altogether would be to see her on an infrequent/irregular basis, which would at least validate the excuse you made up. Instead of every weekend like she's been expecting, if it was every other weekend, once a month or just some random day in the week. At least she would get the idea that you have other stuff going on and things aren't too serious, without you having to tell her outright. Chances are you wouldn't ask somebody to be exclusive if you rarely see them, right?

Also try to limit the amount of times you talk to her in a given period. So instead of those small talk conversations you might have during the week, talk to her only when you want her to come by. Then hopefully she would start to associate hearing from you with sex and the like. You just need to get her in the mindset that you aren't relationship material without you saying so. That's my take at least.

Thanks for the info, you make some good points. See what happens when we don't go AFC, when we don't care too much, when we don't get needy or clingy? These women hop on our nuts like there is no tomorrow!

I bet I could get her to do anything right about now. Any suggestions?
 

seagull

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Vlad the Impaler said:
I bet I could get her to do anything right about now. Any suggestions?
Yes. You said you had problems in one area with her...get her to pay for a date!
 

IsiMan84

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Yea if you're not respecting the $40/date rule or at least getting some windfall I would take care of that real quick. For starters I would stop taking her out. If you don't want a relationship this is unnecessary. You can rent a movie or something that requires little financial effort and will still get you some play. Basically you need to get to the point where she has to suggest that you two go out. Then it should be pretty easy to get her to pay for something. But in most cases if a guy is hitting it right and the woman wants to keep him, she should be making it rain. I don't know all the details though.
 

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IsiMan84 said:
Yea if you're not respecting the $40/date rule or at least getting some windfall I would take care of that real quick. For starters I would stop taking her out. If you don't want a relationship this is unnecessary. You can rent a movie or something that requires little financial effort and will still get you some play. Basically you need to get to the point where she has to suggest that you two go out. Then it should be pretty easy to get her to pay for something. But in most cases if a guy is hitting it right and the woman wants to keep him, she should be making it rain. I don't know all the details though.

We only went out twice, and it was for food. The second time was about 40 bucks and the first time we had a few drinks which inflated the bill. Last time I order drinks... 8 bucks a drink screw that!

I did get her to buy some beer once before she came over.

Then after the second date we hit Blockbuster and I was going to make her pay but she went and sat outside when I got to the register.

It will be the last time I offer to take her to dinner. I'll stick a few frozen pizzas in the fridge instead.
 

IsiMan84

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Sounds like a plan to me. If you're paying for everything then it just gives her the idea that she can get anything out of you whenever she wants. And money spent could almost have some sort of correlation with your interest level. She'd have to work harder for your affection if you weren't doing much for her.
 
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I talked to her yesterday and we started talking about the weekend. She asked if I wanted to go the the baseball game tomorrow. Ofcourse, she didn't offer to pay. I told her I don't think I can make it to the game since it starts early and I have things to do.

We didn't make any other plans, except she offered for me to stay at her place because my AC is broken. I told her I'll be OK it's getting fixed today.

Don't know if I'm going to see her this weekend. I'm trying to avoid it as you can tell.

Am I still playing this correctly?
 

IsiMan84

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Yea it sounds to me like you're still doing alright. You didn't make any definite commitments to doing anything, and you've created an air of uncertainty which puts the ball in your court. She offered to do something which meant she was free, and you were not. At least now she doesn't know your schedule or where you'll be, unless you specifically told her what you'd be doing instead. It's good to make her wonder what must be so great that you couldn't hang out with her.
 
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Update:

She asked me to come over last night and I turned her down. I said "not tonight, how about tomorrow?"

Then she said "forget it", and that was it.

So, today I send her a message "what are you up to tonight?".

To which she replies "Why do I always have to accomodate your schedule? You never consider my needs"

This girl is a trip!
 

Dole

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Reply back and tell her "because I am the man baby, you have to believe in me"
I am very curious what she will reply back. Just an experiment.
 
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Dole said:
Reply back and tell her "because I am the man baby, you have to believe in me"
I am very curious what she will reply back. Just an experiment.

Well it's too late man she called and we are hanging out tonight. I'll try that line next time. I'm a weak b@stard, but the booty calls.
 

Dole

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Nothing wrong with that. I hope everything goes well for you tonight. Have fun.
 
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Dole said:
Nothing wrong with that. I hope everything goes well for you tonight. Have fun.

yeah, I was SO close to getting a new plate spinning last night. This other girl wanted to meet me for a drink. So I told her to meet me at the place @ 10.

Then she said "how about 930?"

It was already 9, so I told her "see you at 10"

Then she said "nevermind I have to meet my cousin at 1030"

Then I just went to sleep and she tried to call me at 1am but I didn't answer the phone. WTF?
 

500_W00P

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God, what a pvssy, why would you call her? God, now she has the upper hand. Do you people learn nothing? I mean I may not have 500 posts but most of these questions I can answer with only having skimmed through the don juan bible ..
A real "don juan" would find that one girl so insignifigant that the thought of submitting to her *****iness wouldn't even have crossed his mind.
You have learning to do yet.
 

IsiMan84

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Vlad the Impaler said:
Update:

She asked me to come over last night and I turned her down. I said "not tonight, how about tomorrow?"

Then she said "forget it", and that was it.

So, today I send her a message "what are you up to tonight?".

To which she replies "Why do I always have to accomodate your schedule? You never consider my needs"

This girl is a trip!
I would have not asked her the next day to do something, since she had more or less turned down your offer the previous night. But as far as her whole "schedule" line goes, I would have replied that it has to accommodate BOTH of your schedules, but you're basically just letting her know when YOU are able to do something. So pipe down haha.

Vlad The Impaler said:
Then she said "how about 930?"

It was already 9, so I told her "see you at 10"

Then she said "nevermind I have to meet my cousin at 1030"

Then I just went to sleep and she tried to call me at 1am but I didn't answer the phone. WTF?
Just to be funny you shoulda done some collective bargaining with her and said 9:53 or some random time, probably woulda gotten a laugh and maybe still got to meet up with her, even if only for 37 minutes (hah). And not answering the phone at 1:00 AM at least gives the notion that you're not going to be at her beck and call, and she lost her chance to see you for the day by not meeting with you at 10:00. At least she didn't get her way.
 
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500_W00P said:
God, what a pvssy, why would you call her? God, now she has the upper hand. Do you people learn nothing? I mean I may not have 500 posts but most of these questions I can answer with only having skimmed through the don juan bible ..
A real "don juan" would find that one girl so insignifigant that the thought of submitting to her *****iness wouldn't even have crossed his mind.
You have learning to do yet.
Who cares if she has the upper hand? She can have it. As long as she is slobbing on the knob tonight. And I'll tell her to do it she never says no.

Getting your knob slobbed does wonders for confidence.
 

IsiMan84

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You should always care if she has the upper hand. Upper hand = not doing what you want when you want her to. "Upper hand" and "suckíng my díck" may be used less and less in the same sentence without the word "not" being present. It may not be today, but it will happen. And you're not even sure what will go down tonight yet. And I do have to agree with 500 W00P because it goes farther than just this woman. You may learn the wrong things from dealing with this one and pass that knowledge to the next girl, etc. And letting "just one girl" have the upper hand could lead to a slippery slope to AFCville. Who knows.
 
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My point was that once you have a girl to the point where she sucks your d!ck on command, I think we can stop worrying about this "upper hand" nonsense.

It's clear to me she cares about this relationship more than I do, and I've gamed her good. So I think I have the permanent upper hand right now.
 

500_W00P

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If you had the permanent upper hand she would have called you. I'm telling you this is just one rare chick, maybe she just likes sucking d!ck but this pvssy mentality isn't going to work on most women.

Don Juan Attitude = Im the prize, if she doesn't call thats HER lost I don't care, I can get 100 chicks that look better than her to slob my knob on demand.

Afc Attitude: Omg she gave me head!!! I gotta call her back now!
 
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