chris rock, pretty accurately i might add, describes how 95% of black people feel about "hood culture"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3PJF0YE-x4
On the other hand, culture does matter, a lot. For example, I have no problem hanging out with black people, in fact I do it daily at my job. But all of that "hood culture", that I have a problem with. People who think they're better off knowing less, who believe they don't have any control over their lives, etc, that's bullsh1t. They might have guns, and might kill people left and right, but believing in sh1t like that is weak willed. If you think some race, some class oppresses you, and mimicking them is selling out, there's no hope for you. You either play to win, or you don't play at all. No matter what game you're playing. It's as simple as that.
I wanted to respond to this. It's not really " as simple as that". In fact it's one of the most complex and nuanced racial elements in society today.
In real life, I'm basically what you would call "white approved" lol. I'm not your "stereotypical" black guy. I don't really listen to rap music (unless i'm working out), I have a good job, **** I own my own, legal lol, business. I'm married, I have 2 kids, I own my own house, I have no criminal record, I don't do drugs, I like college football and horse racing and jazz. I have more in common with the guys on tomshardware.com forums talking about overclocking cpu's than I do with the guy that you would consider to be a "prototypical black guy".
And I'll admit, there are some perks to not being a thug lol. I don't have a criminal record lol. I can drive down the street and if I get pulled over, can be pretty sure i'm not going to be arrested or shot, lol not 100% sure, but pretty sure lol. I "fit in" society. I'm not out of place at a nice restaurant or a bank or any corporate environment.
But this is a "battle" I've personally fought my entire life and it's not as easy as you make it sound.
To put it another way, at the end of the day, after I see you at work and we shoot the **** and work and go our separate ways, I'm still black. And you're not.
What I mean is, There is a "black culture" and i'm not talking about guns and drugs and rap music. REAL black culture. Church, which I don't go to lol. Black people and church is like Italians and pasta lol. That **** goes hand and hand. The most thugged out mother****er you see on the ganster rap videos and on the streets, will **** bricks if they see their pastor and do a 100% transformation lol. Black people do not ****ing play about their jesus. Go to your nearest "hood" on a sunday morning. That mother****er is bone dry. Everyone is in church lol. This **** was even alluded to in the wire where they had the "Sunday truce" where no one got dealt with on a sunday.
Southern Fried foods, which I don't eat lol. Baggy jeans and ****, and there's nothing "thuggish" about baggy jeans white guys wear lose fitting jeans all the time, i really don't wear blue jeans period, not my thing. Last thanksgiving my little cousin put in a Beyonce CD and I had nof ucking idea who it was, i don't listen to beyonce, not becuase i don't like her or think she's not talented or anything, I just like jazz. that's pretty much all i listen to.
My point being that, I've always been somewhat "different". I've always had other interests and I've always cared enough about my interests to not really care what other people thought about them and those things usually affected how "black" i was to other black people and i always have taken the heat for it.
So, as a black guy who doesn't go to church, doesn't listen to hip hop, doesn't really work around black people, how do you make real friends? I'm not talking about a guy who "oh see look it's the black friend lol", the guy who you don't mind having a beer with now and then but you don't even consider calling him on a friday night when it's time to go out and kick it, but REAL friends. The second you go around, if you can find them that is lol, "real" black people they know you are "different" off the jump. The last time I hung out with 2 black dudes one of them flat out asked me what the **** was wrong with me lol. Why was i so "odd". and i'm not odd, i'm just me. People are social with you becuase you "fit in" but not close with you becuase you don't "fit in" in any one real group.
And women don't get me started. You know one of the things that pisses me the **** off about this forum, and I'm like, seriously, pisses me off. There are pages of information of dudes telling guys to wear ****ing green finger nails and ****ing top hats and **** to attract women becuase "that's what women like" and the **** works lol. peacocking works. it draws attention. But a black guy goes out and buys some timberlands and some baggy jeans and a baseball cap and puts it on backwards to attract black chicks and now he's a thug. Oh that's so ****ing wrong. Racist mother****ers lol.
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Man when I dressed like that i was swimming in ***** lol. I didn't have to have ****ing game. I felt like the generic good looking white guy lol. I Just went places and did normal people **** and.. relationships just happened lol. "The longest period i went single from the 8th grade until i was 19 was probably 3 months and that was because my grades were slipping up and i got serious for a few months and stopped hanging out. Black girls, latinos, white girls, didn't matter. Constant dates, constant sex once i got old enough.
But that **** never was me, and once you got to know me it became pretty obvious that wasn't me and ever since i embraced who I was my entire life has been a struggle of "be true to who you are" or "do what gets you laid" lol. When you are a black guy, and you don't portray a particular role, black girls won't give you the time of ****ing day becuase they want someone "black". Not necessarily a thug, but someone who is "black", into the same ****, into the same culture **** that they are. The beginning of the end with my last black GF was when i refused to go to church with her. She always thought i would come around, it came to a head one day and she realized it never was gonna happen. White women, ironically enough, think you're too black lol. You can be the best looking, most caring guy, most ambitious guy, most respectful guy on earth, and 8 out of 10 times, more times than not you're never going to be nothing more than a taboo fantasy of hers. "OMG I ****ed a black guy" you know how ****ing degrading that is? You're basically black enough to fulfill her fantasy but not black enough to really scare her lol. You know how many times I've heard from women "wow you're such an amazing guy but i'm just not into black guys" which, wouldn't be so bad, if black girls weren't at the same tying saying "you're a great guy but you're not black enough for me" lol.
My wife is white. My kids are mixed, and look mixed. There are people in my family who just will not talk to me becuase "i'm a trader". I mean, aunts and **** lol.
But I say all that to say, the **** is not as easy as you make it seem. I 100% understand the guys who still stick around the culture becuase it's easier. **** you are a good looking black guy who is half ass smart and can still keep the black culture aspect to your life you have it ****ing made. Easier to make friends, easier to date, easier to deal with family, easier to do a lot of **** that white people take for granted by being the predominant race in america. It's easier in general to be accepted when you fit in.
The more you I fit in your culture, the less I fit in mine. Life is a lot like musical chairs. In your teens and 20s and **** everyone is running around with the music, dating difference races and hanging out with all types of people, doing all types of thing. But when the music stops everyone runs to sit down somewhere, develop a "core" group of friends, start to get "serious" about relationships, grows out of the adolescent mindset of my parents are this or that and starts to try to really make amends with their parents and orm a strong bond with them, and as the black guy who isn't really black, but also isn't white lol, he really doesn't have anywhere to sit.
Say what you want about "black culture" but dammit, it's a seat at A table. Everyone wants a seat at a particular table. No one wants to be a black sheep (lol no pun intended) their entire life.
I see a shrink about this and other **** lol. Have for years. "This is some **** I struggled with for quite sometime. The running motif with my counselor has always been about "finding my tribe" and she's right. Finding a group of people who accept me for who I am and for what I am. I had to work very, very VERY ****ing hard not only for the monetary **** that I have, but to find a group of people, including my wife, who accecpts me for who I am and for what I am. But I can very, very easily see why guys "stick to their culture"
