This is silly for a couple of reasons. I know she's not interested in me NOW. You fail to acknowledge that people change their minds, and often continue developing an impression of someone long past the first 3-5 seconds.
Yes, but in which direction is her opinion of you going to be heading? Is she going to be seeing you more as the sexual man, or as the androgynous friend? You
can make a girl start to feel attracted to you past the initial impressions. I know, I've done it before. But to do so you have to shake her out of the "friend" mentality she has you in. You do this by demonstrating that you are a sexual man, like telling "inconsequential" stories of sexual conquests or humorous sexual anecdotes, or talking about success in other areas with other ladies, or, better, gaming other ladies in her presence.
But the more you are only displaying your "compassionate, generous, friendly, comfortable guy" image, you'll only be digging yourself further into her "just friend" pit.
You simply cannot cross your fingers and hope that over time, she'll realise what a great guy you are, and then decide to take things to a closer level. It never happens.
Wrong again. I've ditched girls before. I've been forward and told girls that I wanted to be more than friends, and that I didn't need them as a friend. I've stopped doing that because to me it is the equivalent of burning a bridge. Right now I need to be around women and see them as more than pieces of meat...hanging out with my single guy friends "prowling" on Friday and Saturday does not help that, and until recently, that was my way of trying to meet a girl.
So now you're trying to meet girls by being an AFC?
Ok look, I think you need to be honest with yourself here. You say that you really want to fvck this chick. Hell, you tried to make a move, and got shot down. Don't worry, it happens to all of us. And you still want to fvck her. This fact alone will color your entire relationship with this girl. She has the power, because she rejected you, and you stuck around. Now you're her lap dog. That's what she is thinking. It doesn't matter what you are thinking, because she sees things as you were this sad guy who tried to make a move on her and she had to turn you down, and now you're hanging around like a lost puppy, begging for scraps. So she feeds you her scraps: her bagage, her life stories, her problems... all the crap she doesn't want to tell anyone else because she's afraid of what they'll think of her. This means that she doesn't care what you think of her. You are her emotional tampon.
Now, you can sit here and tell me that all you want is a friendship with a girl (or some girls) so you can see them as people too. Great. That's a good thing to have. I have several girls who are my friends. Good friends who I've known for years, and hang out with often. But to me they are like one of the guys. We watch movies, make fun of sh!t, talk about random crap that happens in our lives... etc. Basically their gender doesn't came into it. We are just buddies. And at no point have I ever been their emotional tampons. We talk about things that are bumming us, just like guys do. No tears or sympathy or acting like I'm a girlfriend.
And how did I form these friendships? I never tried to hit on the girl. I just thought, "She's pretty cool, and although I feel no sexual attraction for her, I reckon we could be good mates". You can't have a female as a friend who you feel attracted to sexually. It just doesn't work,
especially if they know your feelings.
I think we can safely agree that so much of the time, the way guys screw up with girls is by seeming to force the romance along, or to betray their desires too soon.
Well, I don't agree with that. The absolute best success I've ever had with girls has always been when my sexual intentions are clear from the get-go, but never explicit. That "I know your attracted to me, and yes, I'm kinda attracted to you" undertone. It's the times when I've hid my desires that have been the hardest and have resulted in the most failures.
You have a lot to learn about masculinity. This has nothing to do with it. You think that a male platonic friend serves the same function to a girl as her girlfriends? Men have different (non-physical) things to offer to women. I do know that my cousin considers a friendship with a guy to be more relaxing---no fear of being gossiped about or judged as harshly by other women, more straightforward communication, stricter loyalty, and so on. I'm not saying this is always the case in a male-female friendship, but all I need is 1 instance to destroy your assumption that platonic friend equals girlfriend.
You are just spouting off all these unjustified assertions based on what you have read or were told.
No, I'm speaking from personal experience, and the collective wisdom that I have gained from this site and others like it. You are correct, that true guy friends are often very valuable to girls, because they don't b!tch, or gossip, or attack them and play those immature school-girl games. But these guy friends do not feel attracted to the girl. They see her as "one of the boys", and she knows this. A true platonic friendship is where neither party is sexually attracted to the other. But when one party would, given the chance, sleep with the other, that's not a true platonic friendship. That's "I'll be a platonic friend until I get a chance to fvck her". These sorts of relationships always end up with the girl holding all the power and manipulating the man into being her pet AFC.
If you want some great, close female friends, then find some cool chicks who you don't feel sexually attracted to, and become friends with them. Treat them exactly like one of the guys. Talk about all the things you talk about with your guy friends. Do the same sorts of things. Invite her out with your group of friends. But don't try and fvck her and then become her emotional tampon.
Dude, I think it's great that you have the attitude of "whatever happens, happens" with this chick, and I think it's great that you want to start having female friendships. But this particular chick is a write-off. Ditch her and get another. You say you have no problems ditching chicks. Great. Then do so. You really have nothing to lose that wouldn't be lost anyway when she fvcks off to Australia. Her friendship potential is minimal at best. Use your head.
