Christie, I think guys ask women about job/career for a few possible reasons:
1. Is she gonna be full of herself and/or lose interest in him if her career/education status is higher than his?
2. He just wants to know that you make ok money so you won’t be totally dependent on him. But actual job isn’t that critical.
3. He’s just asking to make conversation and doesn’t really care about the answer.
4. Sort of the opposite of #1, he’s creating an opening to “humble brag” about his career/education status if his ends up higher than yours.
thanks Mike, like you wrote, the questions come from a type of competition he's feeling me out for. I have tried just saying I'm a homemaker, which I technically am as I have and perform all the domestic skills but then I get the "no, really, what do you do for money?"
You know what? I'm going to stop myself from this thought process right now and take responsibility for the way I've been framing myself and the way I've been answering questions. It shouldn't matter what question is asked of me. I can immediately turn it into flirting, I just forget that's a technique because I'm so rusty at it.
I can selftrigger and everytime I feel like the man is testing my 'performance', I can switch on a 'different kind of performance' and flirt with him to give him the respect for his accomplishments.
You just helped me problemsolve this Mike.
I guess I always found flirting too distasteful and manipulative but that doesn't mean I can't be good at it and make the guy feel good with it. Change the story I'm telling myself everytime I feel a man is goading me to compete or prove education/occupation competence.....realise he's projecting and is really just waiting for his chance to be approved of.
Guys get so tickled that a woman is flirting femininely with him, especially if she does it in front of his peers or male competitors that it doesn't even register in his mind that she's being distasteful or manipulative, does it? It just feels too good to be getting that public 'sexual' attention from a woman.
I have to do something different or else I'll keep getting the same results. Thanks.