I Dumped My GF Today On Her Birthday

[ThrowAwayId]

She has shown, repeatedly and clearly, that she has no respect for you. Whatever she has in mind is only for her benefit. She's prob'ly looking for closure

 

[dustmuffin]

ANOTHER UPDATE

UPDATE!


She has sent me this text...

Her - Are we going to be adults and talk at some point.. please contact me

Is this her looking for closure, or her looking to try and see if we can fix things??

Keep in mind, few days ago she sent me a text agreeing with the break up, also she wanted my address so she can drop my clothes off for me

Stay silent don't give in! You can't fix her!

 

[Tictac]

ANOTHER UPDATE

UPDATE!


She has sent me this text...

Her - Are we going to be adults and talk at some point.. please contact me

Is this her looking for closure, or her looking to try and see if we can fix things??

Keep in mind, few days ago she sent me a text agreeing with the break up, also she wanted my address so she can drop my clothes off for me

She will do this for a while, hoping to get a rise out of you. And, if you let her (you shouldn't), she'll reel you back in.

She's a drunk. She doesn't respect you. If she hasn't yet, some night soon when she's all juiced up and 'out with her girlfriends', she'll do some guy in the bathroom and try to pass it off as okay (I'm sorry honey) because she was drunk. Are you really going to hang around for that?

 

[LiveYourDream]

ANOTHER UPDATE

UPDATE!

She has sent me this text... Ignore this text and the zillion calls and texts that follow. Yes--all of them.

Her - Are we going to be adults You are an adult. Talking to her does not make you one or take away that you are one. and talk at some point..Don't do it. It is ONLY a set-up. please contact me Do not do it.

She is trying to manipulate you to speak with her. She will most likely try to re-write what happened so she feels better and you feel worse. The new version will include things like:

She was misunderstood
She is the victim.
You were insensitive.
You are uptight.
You are no fun.
You are too controlling.
Everyone drinks.
You need to lighten up.
You need to have more fun.
No woman would want to be with a man like that.

Is this her looking for closure, Likely, she is looking to feel better about her version of what happened and have you feel worse about yours and for you to regret losing her. or her looking to try and see if we can fix things?? No. You said her PREVIOUS messages were NOT apologetic or looking to get back together. Likely she does not want to be the dumped and wants to become the dumper. If she does get back together it would likely only be short term so she could dump you and feel REALLY good about it!

Keep in mind, few days ago she sent me a text agreeing with the break up, DO NOT FORGET THIS! also she wanted my address so she can drop my clothes off for me DO NOT give her your home address. DO NOT let this become an excuse for contact!! The strongest move you could show her is total indifference at this point and forever more! Let her throw the clothes away. It is not worth getting them for the contact, drama, and feelings it will bring up to do so! If you ABSOLUTELY must get them, have a friend of yours contact her and pick them up from her while saying nothing about you, simply getting the clothes and leaving.

**Reply starts above in red** (too late--I realize now it's hard to read. Sorry.)

Actions above words! Your break-up is not about what happened on her birthday! You have posted FOR MONTHS about her behavior not being compatible to YOUR values and YOUR lifestyle and YOUR desires! This is about self-respect!

You walked away with your balls. Do NOT turn around and give them to her now!!!!!!

 

[Glumix]

Her - Are we going to be adults and talk at some point.. please contact me

Ahah man, my ex tried that exact same line with me.

"I hoped we could break-up like adults..."

What they call "adult" is a guy who will answer their needs to talk and allow them to twist everything and rub it in your face. So they will feel much better and you won't.

Do you think she behaved like an adult when she was drunk and disrespected you?

That the answer I DID NOT give to my ex: You behaved like a 3 years old kid during all our relationship and now you want ME to behave like an adult? Your turn to learn what's to be ignored. B!tch!

 

[soulforge]

I want to thank everyone for there support.. i'm finding this break up quite alot tougher than i thought i would.

I just wanted to point out, that i believe its a bit unfair to call her a drunk.. she isn't a drunk.

Before she met me, she used to go out to bars usually once every 2 weeks.. and sometimes get a little drunk.

Since she met me, she had toned it down, somewhat.. but i felt it was necessary for us to have a chat about bars, drinking etc, so we both know where we stand in the relationship moving forward. As things was getting quite serious in the relationship..

I have been thinking about, why she acted the way she did that night..

This is my opinion on why she did what she did...

Because i mentioned to her, that i didn't fancy bieng out too late that night.. (tired)

01. She assumed i couldn't be bothered going to this meal to meet her friend.

02. She may have felt like i was a bit of party pooper.

So she rudly lashed out at me..

So at the restaurant she probably had a chat with her friend whilst i was in the toilet, and got her to talk to me and try to convince me, that i should not attend my GFs birthday party at the weekend, because it won't be my kind of thing!

They may have felt like i would not enjoy it there, also because i,m quite layed back, i might be a party pooper.

But.. why could she not have not spoke to me privately without her friend present, and respectfully like an adult just asked me wether i want to attend her party or not?

Why use such a sneaky, technique that embarrassed me, and for her to the state, that she WILL drop me off home on Friday, because i will not like the party.

Why did i not get a choice? There could have been alternative ways around this.

I was actually looking forward to going to her party.. just because i don't go out to bars drinking all the time, does not mean i don't occasionally like going to them.

Maybe they wanted to find a solution to something that they bothed percived as a problem.. but there are better ways to doing things, with respect and communication.

And then she agreed to a girls holiday, without even a word to me about it.. WTF

When she claimed my phone was rubbish, thats was the last straw.. i told her straight my phone is fit for my purposes, and she was out of order talking to me like this.

Was it really that evil of me, to suggest we don't stay out too late tonight? How the fuk has something that simple lead to us breaking up.

 

[soulforge]

She has also sent me this message..

I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I SAY.. NOT FOR WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

My guess is she is trying to say, that i misunderstood what she meant

 

[LiveYourDream]

"Rejection does not mean you are not good enough; it means the other person failed to see what you have to offer."

 

[LiveYourDream]

She has also sent me this message..

I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I SAY.. NOT FOR WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

My guess is she is trying to say, that i misunderstood what she meant

She will spin her experience of what happened, however she needs, in order to make her feel good.

 

[soulforge]

UPDATE

Wow this woman is seriously shallow!

I have just listened to some answer phone messages she has left me around 3 days ago... basically she was ranting down the phone!

A little background.. My current job does not pay me so well, so i am on a limited budget, but i am working on getting a better job.. on the otherhand she is a bigger earner than me!

She asked me to come to Edinburgh with her for her Birthday.. Even tho i was short of cash, i borrowed some money off my sister and made the effort to join her for her birthday.. I could had said no to her, but i didn't want to let her down

I gave her £80 towards the apartment.. £20 towards the meal with her friend.. i paid half towards the food shopping we did.

She has left an answer phone message, claiming i did not pay for anything, and didn't offer to pay towards petrol etc!

Also how she does not appreciate me not paying for things... i admit i am not financially well off right now, but in all the time i was seeing her, i tried to pay my way as best as i can... now she seems to be throwing this in my face.. I can't believe i really considered this woman for a LTR.

Also as i explained earlier... we sat down and had a chat about 2 weeks ago what we do and don't find acceptable in a relationship..

I did explain to her, that going out to bars very frequently, getting drunk etc, is not something i feel is a good thing or a healthy thing for a LTR

I did not raise my voice, make demands, apply pressure.

She seemed to agree with me.... now she has left an answer phone message claiming she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants.. and nobody can tell her otherwise lol.... perfect candidate for a LTR this one

Even after these rants she left on my phone.. she still had a nerve text me yesterday and tell me, that we should talk like 'adults' and i need to contact her.

She claimed she is not contacting me to get back together.. yet she has called me again tonight..

I am feeling somewhat glad now that i dropped this woman!

I need to cut her out completely.. i will not be reading anymore of her text messages.. i will not be listening to any of her voice mails..

Let her hamster spin... forever and for good now

 

[LiveYourDream]

She will likely continue to escalate craziness & attempts to contact you...do NOT respond!!!

 

[soulforge]

She will likely continue to escalate craziness & attempts to contact you...do NOT respond!!!

Now that i have realised exactly how shallow and pathetic this woman is... Not a fuking chance i will contact her!

Not in a million years does this woman make a good candidate for a LTR

i can't believe i got duped into believing she would make a good partner for me!

I will let her continue calling me, messaging me, until her hamster spirals out of total control... she will be greated with utter silence from me!

 

[soulforge]

She cannot handle that i have dropped her disrespectful ass and walked away, without a word..

She stated in her text.. what kind of person dumps her girlfriend on her birthday and leaves her in an apartment in Edingborough..

She stopped bieng my GF the moment she treated me like crap infront of her friend.. the moment she conspired against me, so i don't come to her birthday party!

Then left me to sleep alone in a separate room..

What was i supposed to do, after that humiliation.. stick around with her for two more days feeling like crap.. then for her to drive me home, so i can't attend her party..

Not a chance.. she deserved dumping, there and then!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Absolutely. Glad you realize it and intend to move on.

 

[Tictac]

She cannot handle that i have dropped her disrespectful ass and walked away, without a word..

She stated in her text.. what kind of person dumps her girlfriend on her birthday and leaves her in an apartment in Edingborough..

She stopped bieng my GF the moment she treated me like crap infront of her friend.. the moment she conspired against me, so i don't come to her birthday party!

Then left me to sleep alone in a separate room..

What was i supposed to do, after that humiliation.. stick around with her for two more days feeling like crap.. then for her to drive me home, so i can't attend her party..

Not a chance.. she deserved dumping, there and then!

That she did. Now let it go.

 

[soulforge]

The fact that she has bought up money as an issue has really pizzed me off.. i always paid my way the best i could.

It was only on one or two occasions in the 5 months or the six months i was seeing her that she paid for things...

Can't believe how shallow this person really was!

 

[Glumix]

Anger is good. You won't go back to her.

Erase her from your life now.

You are going to be sad at some point in the near future. Don't trust your memory in those times.
Concentrate on not being weak.

 

[soulforge]

Anger is good. You won't go back to her.

Erase her from your life now.

You are going to be sad at some point in the near future. Don't trust your memory in those times.
Concentrate on not being weak.

Yeh true, i know sadness will follow the anger.. but listening to her voice mails has somewhat made me realise, that she was never going to make a good long term partner for me..

I knew gut instinct something was not right with her, but ignored my gut..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeh true, i know sadness will follow the anger.. but listening to her voice mails has somewhat made me realise, that she was never going to make a good long term partner for me..

I knew gut instinct something was not right with her, but ignored my gut..

It wasn't gut, you just wasn't accepting and processing her ACTIONS.

 

[dude99]

Update..

I decided to read some of her text messages last night..

There does not seem to be any sense of wrong doing or apology.

Her - You left some of your belongings here, need your adress so can send them back


Her - Why didn't you have the guts to end it to my face the next day, as i was going to end it with you

Her - Did you get home ok?

Her - don't bother then.. good luck with the future


Man i feel chit today.. i feel like spelling out to her exactly what she did wrong..

I wish i had kept my mouth shut, and never had said, i don't fancy staying out too late tonight

Look how much BS has come out of this.. she rang me this morning, i ignored the call

Dont bother spelling anything out for her. She is trying her best to draw you into a fight. This is solely for her own entertainment. Dont entertain her. Guys its ok for you to just say "you blew it. Now leave me alone." Truth be told never tell a girl why you dumped them. Just tell them its over. When you explain why then they try to negotiatem. That makes you the bad guy when you wont meet them on their terms. Never tell them why. Only "you blew it. Its over. Goodbye. My decision is final." Don let her suck you back in.