I Don't Fight Over Women

[Peaks&Valleys]

Why exactly? She's just acting how women do. You're an old timer here, you should know women love attention, and its a validation seeking machine with no end.

*some women. And, what's your point?

Yes, she gets away with a lot of disrespectful behavior because of her looks. Doesn't mean it's okay and isn't disrespectful.

She wanted to have all the attention for her with guys, but if you see at the end, they're all orbiters. How can you blame a bee for sting you? That's what they do.

So....again...what are you trying to say here?

I'm not sure you understood my post.

He allowed himself to be in that place of another orbiter, women act as $hitty as you let them. She was just reflecting his $hitty behavior back to him as being just another $hitty orbiter who jumped at the chance of seeing her, at least one more time with expectations of something happening, women sniff it from miles away.

There we go. I agree with you here.

 

[kavi]

Some the guys here omg this is so far off. We dont even know this guy may have just been some guy in the group who for whatever reason turned up and invited himself. Clearly this wasnt meant to be a 1-1 date. Some guys say never hang out with women in friend groups always 1-1 the thing is for quality guys it is better to hang in a group with the girl sometimes cos its a chance to show off your social skills and remain aloof and these sitautions can be opportunities rather than obstacles for the right guy. So for instance if the right guy can 'impress' the woman here show he is better than the other guy and handle the situation well he will soon get a 1-1 date.

But all these 'pressure tactics' like getting 1-2-1 dates, not texting, isolating quickly these are tactics for low value guys it is just beginner beginner level.

Mode 1 is ok but you are not differentiating yourself from other guys cos anyone can do it. If the girl wants D it might work but you wont get anything long term or meaningful out of it.

I thought we were pass the stage of putting pssy on a pedestal.

Look at whats happening out there in relationships. That is the result of all these beliefs ppl had over the past 20years. Because of these beliefs and behaviours what everyone was doing just trying to get laid, pua tactics whatever just led to the current state of relationships and men seem to be getting less and less respect from women.

Pretty soon none of these PUA pressure tactics will even work at all for quality girls and these tactics will only work on lower quality women.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Why was it disrespectful? She's not committed to any of those guys. From the girl's POV she just invited two of her "friends" to watch a boxing match. From the guy's POV is disrespectful cause he was full of expectations. See the difference?

From the girl's POV, she KNEW he was into her. So, if she didn't like him, she could have let him off easy, or toy with him.

Looks like she chose the latter.

In this situation, some women would have better things to do. Some women would see an opportunity to use someone for their personal enjoyment/gain. NAWALT.

Again, in different terminology:
Human nature is human nature. Some people will sense a weakness in someone and try to exploit it, some will maybe even help, some will just part directions and go their own way.

Imagine an alternate reality where another guy told her no, that they'll go on a 1-1 date. Then that guy post in here how he met this gal they have fun, date was fun, they hooked up, and then she's chasing him.

Two different scenarios, same woman. Moral of the story, women change behavior when they are attracted to a guy.

No kidding.

Again, sounds to me like you didn't fully understand my post. You're preaching to the choir over here.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Some the guys here omg this is so far off. We dont even know this guy may have just been some guy in the group who for whatever reason turned up and invited himself. Clearly this wasnt meant to be a 1-1 date. .

I know what you're saying here. However, it wasn't clear to the OP. And that was the crux of the issue IMO. I've been on dates where other people were there, however, I knew what I was walking into. For her to blatantly surprise him like this, there is problem somewhere along the lines. I've got better things to do with my time than to be forced to talk to and entertain people I have no interest in talking to.

His fault? Her fault? Different schools of thought obviously...

 

[kavi]

I know what you're saying here. However, it wasn't clear to the OP. And that was the crux of the issue IMO. I've been on dates where other people were there, however, I knew what I was walking into. For her to blatantly surprise him like this, there is problem somewhere along the lines. I've got better things to do with my time than to be forced to talk to and entertain people I have no interest in talking to.

His fault? Her fault? Different schools of thought obviously...

He knew it wasnt a 1-1 thing

The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again. When I arrived, she had a guy with her.

But tbh the girl and the guy friend it is all about the body language and wether the girl was giving the guy friend more attention. Cos we dont really know he may have just invited himself and he may also be annoying her or it could be that the girl was herself giving the male friend more attention.It all depends on the girls behaviour and body language and whatnot like was she more interested in the guy friend and talking to him and ignoring OP or was it just the guy friend trying to get close to the girl.

 

[kavi]

You sound like Fresh & Fit trying to make women accountable, since when that has worked? You should know women don't use over communication, they just want a guy who gets it, he didn't get it and now we label the woman as "disrespectful" because she didn't tell him "Hey I know you're into me, but I'm seeing other guys as well, who I perceive are better than you, I don't see you as fvck material, I see you as orbiter material" The medium is the message.

He didn't get it, she was falling into the stronger frame, which is her frame.

I dont think the situation necessarily implies OP was friendzoned or anything like that. She is not 'seeing other guys' as that other guy is just a friend orbiter who she has probs known for some time and he maybe likes her like and for now that guy is in the friendzone. OP should have already known he is in a better position than the other guy given that ppl are setting up OP with the girl while that other guy was in the friendzone.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You sound like Fresh & Fit trying to make women accountable, since when that has worked? You should know women don't use over communication, they just want a guy who gets it, he didn't get it and now we label the woman as "disrespectful" because she didn't tell him "Hey I know you're into me, but I'm seeing other guys as well, who I perceive are better than you, I don't see you as fvck material, I see you as orbiter material" The medium is the message.

He didn't get it, she was falling into the stronger frame, which is her frame.

Seems to me like you're arguing for the sake of arguing...talking in circles without trying to understand what the other person is saying. Essentially leading the conversation nowhere.

 

[The Duke]

I see a certain rationale that raises flags for me. Some men accept low quality female behavior because of their nature and blame the man. I understand that and it's valid, but it's not holding women accountable. It's as bad as beta males tolerating too much. One side doesn't get it, the other side does and says it's ok. Both tolerate to get the pu$$y.

 

[Slowhandluke]

If OP wants to smash her, all he has to do is break her confidence by sleeping with one of her ugly friends and show how much better and more desirable he is than her.

She is low quality and she has issues with self confidence. She needs validation and that is why she got two guys together that she KNOWS like her.

Girls are not that stupid. They know what they are doing. Heck, if it was a mistake, why didnt she do anything to make everyone more at ease during the date. Instead, she let "the hunger games continue".

Smash her friends... hit on her friends and other females. The more conquests, the more she will hate the OP. So much hate that she will want to F the OP. She likes players because they treat her like a nobody. You will need to be a player like that to get into her pants.

She is not LTR material. Obviously, that is why she is still single even though she is somewhat attractive.

 

[RazorRambo24]

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

@Slowhandluke What we have here is a failure to communicate.

 

[RazorRambo24]

@Slowhandluke What we have here is a failure to communicate.

The other thing I forgot to mention is some women will bring you around their friends to see what their friends think about you and whether you will vibe with their friends. A good sign that she's looking for something more serious and not just a fling. Seems like a good gal with a good head on her shoulders tbh.. from the little we know.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The other thing I forgot to mention is some women will bring you around their friends to see what their friends think about you and whether you will vibe with their friends. A good sign that she's looking for something more serious and not just a fling. Seems like a good gal with a good head on her shoulders tbh.. from the little we know.

She's playing games consciously or subconsciously. If she is a good girl, why hasn't she been married or in a ltr? If she hasn't found the "one", why hasn't she? Unrealistic standards or is she just picking guys that don't commit?


Most people who are attractive, hang arround other attractive people (birds of a feather, flock together). My life experiences have shown to me those that hang with mostly people lower quality than themselves- that is a red flag. Something is wrong with them especially if they are not nice. She is not nice and from the looks of it, her friends are not either. It's like Amanda heard. Most of her friends are ugly and we know what kind of person Amanda heard is - narcissistic.

In any case, that is my opinion. Whatever...

 

[ThisIsSparta]

So for instance if the right guy can 'impress' the woman here show he is better than the other guy and handle the situation well he will soon get a 1-1 date.

But all these 'pressure tactics' like getting 1-2-1 dates, not texting, isolating quickly these are tactics for low value guys it is just beginner beginner level.

Trying to impress women, jumping through their hoops and over their obstacles is the real beginner level.

Entering a womens frame is also beginner level. Pro´s set the frame for a date, the woman complies or is free to date a simp that is willing to jump through her hoops.

The quality of a woman is not defined by how many obstacles she puts up for a man that she is interested in.

Good luck with putting a woman on princess-lvl on date 2 (before she even svcked your dyck) by "duelling" yourself with another guy over her.

 

[Ricky]

I'm ok hanging out with her friends.. my wife used to do that with us and yes there were orbiters. I just hit on her friends too. I won them all over and actually made out with her friend first.

The less you show it phases you the better you look. Being fun and outgoing with her friends makes great social proof. Her friends will be interested in you which raises interest with your target. The orbiter like most AFC/simps will shoot himself in the foot many ways.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I’m with @RazorRambo24 on this. She thought @jaymbrs was cool enough to invite to a group hangout that she was already going to.

Then OP gets bent that it isn’t a 1 on 1 date. Facepalm.

I have lots of friends. Men and women. I go do stuff with both male and female friends, and some of them are kinda protective. Not because they want to get with me, but because they know who I am and they don’t want someone trying to take advantage of me and my kind nature.

In fact I met my fiancé while out with a group that included 3 women and 4 men. He thought I was married to one of the guys, and so he asked. Guess what? He found out I wasn’t married and he asked me out straight away the next morning.

The man asks out the woman for dates. That’s what traditionally minded women expect. That did not happen here.

She is pretty and thin. Of course she has options. Women need men to be more direct.

“Hey let’s grab dinner”.

How hard is that really?

 

[pipeman84]

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

You're making good points, BUT:
1. you've seen her photo, and @Giovanni SouthSide nailed it with the description.
2. it's poor taste to invite a guy to hang out when she's in a group of friends that includes a dude with obvious interest in her. Even without that photo which shows she has mileage on her, a +30yrs old woman knows that interactions with guys are for a romantic/sexual purpose, unless clearly specified otherwise (for instance work related).

 

[Barrister]

This really comes down to why OP "assumed" this would be a 1 on 1 meeting. I don't think that is something you just assume - especially if a woman is asking you to an event. Normally speaking, rarely does a woman directly ask a man out on a 1 on 1 date. It happens, albeit very rarely. I would have assumed it was a social event - not vice versa.

And that begs the question that if OP was interested, why wasn't he asking her out 1 on 1 himself and skipping over all the fluff beforehand? Seemed like he was setting himself up to be placed into an orbiter/friend category by this woman.

 

[Ricky]

Maybe she was testing him to see if he is the jealous and insecure type?

the way to pass the test is to not consider the orbiter a threat at all

 

[SW15]

This really comes down to why OP "assumed" this would be a 1 on 1 meeting. I don't think that is something you just assume - especially if a woman is asking you to an event. Normally speaking, rarely does a woman directly ask a man out on a 1 on 1 date. It happens, albeit very rarely. I would have assumed it was a social event - not vice versa.

And that begs the question that if OP was interested, why wasn't he asking her out 1 on 1 himself and skipping over all the fluff beforehand? Seemed like he was setting himself up to be placed into an orbiter/friend category by this woman.

I recently met a woman through a mutual friend. I got a little 1 on 1 time with her but not enough to make anything happen. The next day she invited me out to a sports bar to watch a big boxing match. I assumed it would just be her and her friends again.

He didn't assume it would be a one-on-one meeting. The key phrase in the first post was "not enough time to make anything happen". If a woman is comfortable enough inviting a man to a public event, that's a woman who is worth asking for a one-on-one date.

Most men won't ever be directly asked on a date by a woman. You'd have to be around a 98th percentile guy for that to happen.

The biggest mistake was not asking out at the end of the first interaction. OP dodged a bullet though as this is a career woman with an advanced degree. Better to make a mistake on a not so great prospect than a better prospect. OP can learn from this. Not at all in a big deal in life.