I attended a speed dating event today

[GoodMan32]

For your sake, I pray that you're more receptive to her counsel than you have been to ours, GM

Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to listen to her counsel.

She's my ideal type of woman (50-something MILF). Obviously I want to do whatever it takes to make my business card appeal to her demographic.

 

[SW15]

redo the cards

Use this as an opportunity to scrap the idea entirely.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So my dating/hookup business cards arrived today.

Long story short, I'm going to need to redo the cards (They printed out way too big. I wanted business card size. My fault for not paying more attention to the dimensions when placing the order)

Here's where the story gets juicy: It just so happens I ran into my next door neighbor when picking up my cards. I asked for her honest opinion (and assured her I can handle the truth)

Here's what she recommended:

• Use a different picture. She said (verbatim) "Your picture looks like a mugshot. Not inviting at all. You look better in person."
• She also recommended I remove my year of birth entirely.

Her logic for removing the birth year:

1. When it comes to assessing interest in a man at first glance, his looks matter more than his age.

2. She went on to say something along the lines of "For you especially, being into older women, having your birth year on the card could hold you back. An older woman might immediately write you off as too young if she sees your birth year right off the bat. On the other hand, if an older woman takes a liking to your looks and inner qualities, and then finds out your age, she'd be more willing to give you a chance than if she knew right away you're a 90s baby"

This is beyond pathetic

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP only make cards if you have a legit business and make the card in accordance with your biz. Then hand that out for numbers and dates. Not something generic or dating specific, but something that's a legit business.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is beyond pathetic

Like water that doesn't flow.

 

[GoodMan32]

OP only make cards if you have a legit business and make the card in accordance with your biz. Then hand that out for numbers and dates. Not something generic or dating specific, but something that's a legit business.

I don't own a business.

As for the dating/hookup card thing, they'd primarily be used for future speed dating events (as I learned the hard way: If you aren't speedy enough about giving out your contact information at these events, you might never get a chance to)

How effective will the cards be? Only time will tell. One thing is certain, however: The cards are better than what I've been doing these past several years (the past several years, I've largely done nothing in terms of pursuing a woman)

 

[GoodMan32]

This is beyond pathetic

The fact my next door neighbor gave honest criticisms of my cards means (and this is a good thing) she's not the type to sugarcoat to protect my feelings.

If she thought the card idea wouldn't work in the first place, she'd tell me.

 

[SW15]

next door neighbor gave honest criticisms

You don't listen to a fish on how to catch fish. You listen to fishermen on how to catch fish. SoSuave has fishermen.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The fact my next door neighbor gave honest criticisms of my cards means (and this is a good thing) she's not the type to sugarcoat to protect my feelings.

If she thought the card idea wouldn't work in the first place, she'd tell me.

Clueless is as clueless does

 

[GoodMan32]

You don't listen to a fish on how to catch fish. You listen to fishermen on how to catch fish. SoSuave has fishermen.

I'd say there are pros and cons of both (and you can learn from both)

A man can tell you what's worked for him.

But on the flipside, a woman can tell you what she'd respond well to (presuming she already has a base attraction to a guy)

 

[GoodMan32]

Clueless is as clueless does

Ok, here's a serious question:

Since I've done very little to pursue broads period for the past several years, how could the business card idea hurt? Even if many a broad won't respond well to the card, if even one broad ends up on a date with me as a result of the card, that's more than I've had in over a year.

And if even one broad has free sex with me as a result of the card, that would break a 3 and a half year dry spell.

The cards are certainly better than my ongoing strategy of doing basically nothing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ok, here's a serious question:

Since I've done very little to pursue broads period for the past several years, how could the business card idea hurt? Even if many a broad won't respond well to the card, if even one broad ends up on a date with me as a result of the card, that's more than I've had in over a year.

And if even one broad has free sex with me as a result of the card, that would break a 3 and a half year dry spell.

The cards are certainly better than my ongoing strategy of doing basically nothing.

Think to yourself. What women is going to want to date a guy who is so scared to talk to them he has to hand out business cards do they can contact him?

Just because you want something to work that way doesn't mean it does.

Sorry, scared little boys stay hungry, grown men with big balls get fed.

 

[GoodMan32]

Think to yourself. What women is going to want to date a guy who is so scared to talk to them he has to hand out business cards do they can contact him?

Just because you want something to work that way doesn't mean it does.

Sorry, scared little boys stay hungry, grown men with big balls get fed.

I'm not saying I'd hand out a business card to every woman I find attractive in my day-to-day regimen.

I'd hand out the cards in the specific setting of a speed dating event. If a speed date is going well, might as well give her my card during the speed date (As I learned the hard way that if you hold off until the open floor at the end of the event, you might never get a chance to exchange contact information. Not because I'd be afraid to talk to her at the end of the event, but because another guy might park himself at her table before I have a chance to work my way over to her)

The one broad whose digits I had a chance to request at the event, by the way, I wasn't having a panic attack at all when asking her (I've mentioned on the forum that I'm prone to panic attacks when making a move on a broad)

You know what I don't get? The whole time I've been on this forum, posters have told me to step out of my comfort zone and learn from any failures. Which is exactly what I did. I stepped out of my comfort zone by attending the speed dating event. And then I came up with the business card idea as a solution to the failures at the event. Yet I'm getting mocked for it.

 

[SW15]

What women is going to want to date a guy who is so scared to talk to them he has to hand out business cards do they can contact him?

This woman expected a hot guy (likely would be called a 'Chad') to initiate a conversation with her and ask for her contact info. If a hot guy is expected to start interactions, more average guys will also have to face the reality of that expectation.

Women in general still expect men to ask for the first date and/or contact info.

It's possible a 'Chad' could get away with handing out a business card and get some nibbles. However, most men with Chad tier looks are confident enough to ask a woman to meet him for drinks at a bar and collect her phone number if she agrees.

The card idea is an old idea that has been tried in field before and has failed.

I'd hand out the cards in the specific setting of a speed dating event. If a speed date is going well, might as well give her my card during the speed date (As I learned the hard way that if you hold off until the open floor at the end of the event, you might never get a chance to exchange contact information. Not because I'd be afraid to talk to her at the end of the event, but because another guy might park himself at her table before I have a chance to work my way over to her)

This is a socially stunted solution that isn't really a solution, even in the specific setting of a speed dating event.

First off, if you value yourself, you do not market/sell yourself at speed dating. Speed dating is dog crap quality. Luxury brands don't sell at 7-Eleven. A guy who realizes that he has any sort of value isn't going to speed dating. Speed dating is dog crap quality on both the male and female sides. Females who realize their own value also won't go there.

That speed dating event had an odd format that most speed dating events don't have. All you've done is tried to create a solution for an unusual speed dating format. In that unusual speed dating format, the expectation would be for men to initiate contact and further the interaction.

The use of a memory jogging card isn't going to help women contact you.

I'm getting mocked for it.

You are not getting mocked. This is fishermen telling you which tactics work for catching fish. We're giving you the feedback you need to improve. Plenty of men have already field tested that card idea going back 10-20 years or longer.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm not saying I'd hand out a business card to every woman I find attractive in my day-to-day regimen.

I'd hand out the cards in the specific setting of a speed dating event. If a speed date is going well, might as well give her my card during the speed date (As I learned the hard way that if you hold off until the open floor at the end of the event, you might never get a chance to exchange contact information. Not because I'd be afraid to talk to her at the end of the event, but because another guy might park himself at her table before I have a chance to work my way over to her)

The one broad whose digits I had a chance to request at the event, by the way, I wasn't having a panic attack at all when asking her (I've mentioned on the forum that I'm prone to panic attacks when making a move on a broad)

You know what I don't get? The whole time I've been on this forum, posters have told me to step out of my comfort zone and learn from any failures. Which is exactly what I did. I stepped out of my comfort zone by attending the speed dating event. And then I came up with the business card idea as a solution to the failures at the event. Yet I'm getting mocked for it.

Your getting told to get some fvcking balls and be a man. Big difference.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The whole time I've been on this forum, posters have told me to step out of my comfort zone and learn from any failures. Which is exactly what I did. I stepped out of my comfort zone by attending the speed dating event

Now, attend more of such events, and reconnect with your shrink and resume sessions with him. One of the many things one learns in credible psychotherapy is to become cognizant of times in which our thinking is polarized, then develop more nuanced views of reality

You're CHOOSING to label not just this speed dating event, but many other events in your life as "going badly", just because things didn't turn out EXACTLY as you FANTASIZED they would. Even though almost nothing in life turns out exactly as ANY of us imagine it will. Making peace with this, and not being deterred from forging ahead, is what distinguishes Man psychology from Boy psychology

 

[GoodMan32]

This woman expected a hot guy (likely would be called a 'Chad') to initiate a conversation with her and ask for her contact info. If a hot guy is expected to start interactions, more average guys will also have to face the reality of that expectation.

Women in general still expect men to ask for the first date and/or contact info.

It's possible a 'Chad' could get away with handing out a business card and get some nibbles. However, most men with Chad tier looks are confident enough to ask a woman to meet him for drinks at a bar and collect her phone number if she agrees.

The card idea is an old idea that has been tried in field before and has failed.



This is a socially stunted solution that isn't really a solution, even in the specific setting of a speed dating event.

First off, if you value yourself, you do not market/sell yourself at speed dating. Speed dating is dog crap quality. Luxury brands don't sell at 7-Eleven. A guy who realizes that he has any sort of value isn't going to speed dating. Speed dating is dog crap quality on both the male and female sides. Females who realize their own value also won't go there.

That speed dating event had an odd format that most speed dating events don't have. All you've done is tried to create a solution for an unusual speed dating format. In that unusual speed dating format, the expectation would be for men to initiate contact and further the interaction.

The use of a memory jogging card isn't going to help women contact you.



You are not getting mocked. This is fishermen telling you which tactics work for catching fish. We're giving you the feedback you need to improve. Plenty of men have already field tested that card idea going back 10-20 years or longer.

Ok, so if the card is a bad idea, I have a serious question: What other solution is there to the problem of "What if she's already getting chatted up by another guy before I have a chance to make my move during the open floor phase?"

 

[GoodMan32]

Your getting told to get some fvcking balls and be a man. Big difference.

The other broads whose digits I wanted were already getting propositioned by other men before I had a chance to initiate contact during the open floor phase.

Other than shooting the other guy (which is inadvisable; no way am I getting slapped with murder charges just so I can get a number) or pushing the other guy out of the way (also inadvisable), what could I have done to get the attention of broads who were already in a discussion with another guy?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The other broads whose digits I wanted were already getting propositioned by other men before I had a chance to initiate contact during the open floor phase.

Other than shooting the other guy (which is inadvisable; no way am I getting slapped with murder charges just so I can get a number) or pushing the other guy out of the way (also inadvisable), what could I have done to get the attention of broads who were already in a discussion with another guy?

I don't know why I even bother...

You are like a broken record just going around and around with the same bullsh!t and views that are going to get you nowhere in life or with women.

Just do whatever man. It doesn't matter. It isnt likely to work based on your mindset and belief system.

 

[SW15]

Ok, so if the card is a bad idea, I have a serious question: What other solution is there to the problem of "What if she's already getting chatted up by another guy before I have a chance to make my move during the open floor phase?"

Find another female at a bar on a regular bar night.