How to put her past out of your mind?

[DJNiceGuy]

Hi all, I know there have been threads in the past on what's acceptable in a woman's past and what's not, but wanted to throw this one out there. Been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and she's great (HB 8, 29 years old). The one thing that bugs me is that she has had more experience then me. She claims she's had sex with 6 guys, and had 9 relationships (highschool ones she did not sleep with). I've had sex with 9 girls in my life, not that it's a competition. What annoys me the most is that 2 months before she met me she went back and forth between her -ex of 5 years and a new guy she met. She literally had sex with both in the same day. I talked to her about how this concerns me that she didn't realize her own value. She told me she feels disgusted about it and wishes it hadn't happened, but she was tired of both guys being unfaithful so decided that this would "even the score."

This really really bugs me. Though I've done this myself (having sex with two different girls in one day) on two separate occasions, but it does not make me feel better. This is a girl I could potentially marry. We'll be having a great time, but then the negative thoughts just resurface again. I realize common sense says this was in the past, and if she's being honest, her past is pretty average, not to mention I've done the same thing. I just have a problem with a girl I marry having engaged in this type of behavior. I wish she had never told me... Any thoughts on how I can compartmentalize this in my mind? Sometimes I just feel less affectionate towards her when I randomly think about her past. I've seen these guys too out at clubs and it does not help at all. She senses the distance when these thoughts go through my mind, but I feel like talking to her more about it is not going to help.

I feel like I've met plenty of hot girls that did not always need a guy around. It disturbs me that she was not able to remain single or celibate for any long period of time. She's intelligent, kind, really cute, family oriented, etc. Like I said, I've met hot girls that didn't have sex for a year, or didn't have boyfriends for 2-3 consecutive years. Is this a red flag that she always had to have a guy? I'm a bit confused. Is this a girl I can marry and bring into my family??

 

[GotED?]

She is almost 30 - her personality and morals/values are concrete now. Can't change a person at that age. You are trying to turn a HO into a wife material. This is the path of a ruined DJ to come. Have higher standards, mate!!

 

[LongLostFriend]

Hard truth: this will never be unlearned. And, your feelings aside, she is a bad bet for a wife. I am not going to sugar-coat things. She made her choices and you would be wisest to make the choice to not wife her up.

 

[speed dawg]

I talked to her about how this concerns me that she didn't realize her own value. She told me she feels disgusted about it and wishes it hadn't happened, but she was tired of both guys being unfaithful so decided that this would "even the score."

I have a sneaky suspicion that your problem is going to take care of itself.

Stop talking about this sh1t and up your frame, or you'll be posting here about how to get her back or some other lame variance.

 

[evan12]

9 relationships in 15 year , is this really family oriented girl ?
does she have relationship lasted more than 2 years ? or she was always with the "wrong" guy ?

 

[( . )( . )]

#1. You will never shake her past out of your mind. Your not supposed to as a matter of fact. It's a natural gnawing feeling that has evolved in men for a good reason. There are a few mangina's here who will tell you to accept sluts for what they are. These are weak men with limited options and are unskilled in tracking down more chaste options. Pay them no heed.

#2. Science is against you. 6 ( I suspect it's more anyway) sexual partners is enough to see a rise in her inability to long term pair bond by 70% compared to her chaste sisters. Which by it's very definition is a slut.

#3. There is nothing more character building than a man who leaves his comfort zone. In your case your getting a steady supply of sex from an ex- carousellor yes?. What seperates the 10 percenters from the betas is the ability to say "fvck it, not good enough" and have the balls to act on it.

#4. Don't talk to her about this stuff, it's a wasted endeavour. Btw I'm sure she seems very nice, she may even be but unrestrained hypergamy comes with a price and you don't have to pay it.

 

[rearea]

I love men that expect the world from women when they dont hold themselves to the same standards character wise.

People make mistakes. Have you ever thought of that? You said yourself youve done the same thing yet you dont judge yourself for it. I dont sleep around and have been celibate for a year before, and Id be turned off by a guy who has slept with 2 girls in one day like you say you have. A guy who does that is kinda scummy to me and not marriage material. Difference is, Im not a hypocrite.

Hypocrites = entitled selfish asses.

My answer would have been different if you werent a hypocrite

 

[sharkbeat]

She literally had sex with both in the same day. I talked to her about how this concerns me that she didn't realize her own value. She told me she feels disgusted about it and wishes it hadn't happened, but she was tired of both guys being unfaithful so decided that this would "even the score."

Have you not heard? 95% of women don't have personal values. If they do, they can't hold them for too long before being swayed by whatever sh!t is going on in their lives.

If women have strong personal values, fashion wouldn't exist!!. This is what fashion industry is all about: creating desires of things that you don't own, and women are suckers for that. This affects men too but to a lesser degree.

This really really bugs me. Though I've done this myself (having sex with two different girls in one day) on two separate occasions, but it does not make me feel better.

Then you deserve each other.

This is a girl I could potentially marry. We'll be having a great time, but then the negative thoughts just resurface again. I realize common sense says this was in the past, and if she's being honest, her past is pretty average, not to mention I've done the same thing. I just have a problem with a girl I marry having engaged in this type of behavior. I wish she had never told me... Any thoughts on how I can compartmentalize this in my mind? Sometimes I just feel less affectionate towards her when I randomly think about her past. I've seen these guys too out at clubs and it does not help at all. She senses the distance when these thoughts go through my mind, but I feel like talking to her more about it is not going to help.

Then don't marry this chick. No matter how much you like her, it ain't going to change who she is. She slept with two guys in one day, felt "sorry" about that. That doesn't mean it won't happen again. It shows what she's at least capable of!

I feel like I've met plenty of hot girls that did not always need a guy around. It disturbs me that she was not able to remain single or celibate for any long period of time. She's intelligent, kind, really cute, family oriented, etc. Like I said, I've met hot girls that didn't have sex for a year, or didn't have boyfriends for 2-3 consecutive years. Is this a red flag that she always had to have a guy? I'm a bit confused. Is this a girl I can marry and bring into my family??

HOLY ****!! YES IT'S A BIG RED FLAG WAVING IN FRONT OF YOU LIKE NASCAR! Once she finds you boring, you are out just like that. Ding! Don't be surprised if you come back here with a story how she's been cheating on you.

 

[( . )( . )]

I love men that expect the world from women when they dont hold themselves to the same standards character wise.

I don't hold women to the same standard as men when it comes to lifting bags of cement either because I'm not an equalist retard. Sorry lady you gals are just not cut out to ride the c@ck carousel, it fvcks you up. Just deal with it.

lol @ not wanting an ex-carousel rider = "expects the world".

stfu idiot.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Read this first:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

Then read this:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/

First off, you're 30. Why would you even consider committed monogamy with a woman when your SMV is on its ascendency? Secondly, why would you consider monogamy with a woman who's in the phase of her life where she's attempting to reconcile her hypergamy with her need for long term provisioning?

Be less concerned with her sexual past and more concerned with her making you her beta rube before she hits the Wall.

 

[5string]

"Don't ask, don't tell"..........Bill Clinton

 

[CostaDeSol]

She literally had sex with both in the same day.

OP's Gf: "This one time, I swallowed the semen of two different guys in one day."


Why the fnck would she want you to know that? If a girl ever spoke to me like that, she would never be anything more than a fnck buddy to me.

 

[LiveFreeX]

How to put her past out of your mind?

You don't, she is a low quality wh0re and you are a low quality DJ for picking her. You can't fight what your gut is telling you.

By god don't date american women people.

 

[glass half full]

Hi all, I know there have been threads in the past on what's acceptable in a woman's past and what's not, but wanted to throw this one out there. Been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and she's great (HB 8, 29 years old). The one thing that bugs me is that she has had more experience then me. She claims she's had sex with 6 guys, and had 9 relationships (highschool ones she did not sleep with). I've had sex with 9 girls in my life, not that it's a competition. What annoys me the most is that 2 months before she met me she went back and forth between her -ex of 5 years and a new guy she met. She literally had sex with both in the same day. I talked to her about how this concerns me that she didn't realize her own value. She told me she feels disgusted about it and wishes it hadn't happened, but she was tired of both guys being unfaithful so decided that this would "even the score."

This really really bugs me. Though I've done this myself (having sex with two different girls in one day) on two separate occasions, but it does not make me feel better. This is a girl I could potentially marry. We'll be having a great time, but then the negative thoughts just resurface again. I realize common sense says this was in the past, and if she's being honest, her past is pretty average, not to mention I've done the same thing. I just have a problem with a girl I marry having engaged in this type of behavior. I wish she had never told me... Any thoughts on how I can compartmentalize this in my mind? Sometimes I just feel less affectionate towards her when I randomly think about her past. I've seen these guys too out at clubs and it does not help at all. She senses the distance when these thoughts go through my mind, but I feel like talking to her more about it is not going to help.

I feel like I've met plenty of hot girls that did not always need a guy around. It disturbs me that she was not able to remain single or celibate for any long period of time. She's intelligent, kind, really cute, family oriented, etc. Like I said, I've met hot girls that didn't have sex for a year, or didn't have boyfriends for 2-3 consecutive years. Is this a red flag that she always had to have a guy? I'm a bit confused. Is this a girl I can marry and bring into my family??

Could be two things 1) she's really honest and is putting her cards on the table and was drunk when she said this, or , far more likely, 2) She's warning you what a betch she can be if you cross her. Women tend to do something worse the second time, in my experience, so look out! Hope you like drama!

 

[goundra]

there are NO hard and fast rules about life, especially about women and in SPADES about women. It's bad to go against your gut feelings, tho. Eventually, such feelings turn into disgust, dislike, impotence, resentment. things almost always go downhill a bit after marriage, so engagement better be fvcking PERFECT, guy.

 

[expos]

Be glad she told you this now. You don't even want to know what my ex-wife told me 2 years into our marriage. Yes, read that again...ex-wife.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

she is DAMAGED GOODS. all those past pump-and-dumps take a toll on a girls psyche. they can't trust and form bonds as before when they were younger. better think long and hard why you want to marry this person after dating for only 5 months.

 

[Down Low]

The one thing that bugs me is that she has had more experience then me. She claims she's had sex with 6 guys, and had 9 relationships (highschool ones she did not sleep with). I've had sex with 9 girls in my life, not that it's a competition. What annoys me the most is that 2 months before she met me she went back and forth between her -ex of 5 years and a new guy she met. She literally had sex with both in the same day. I talked to her about how this concerns me that she didn't realize her own value. She told me she feels disgusted about it and wishes it hadn't happened, but she was tired of both guys being unfaithful so decided that this would "even the score."

This really really bugs me. Though I've done this myself (having sex with two different girls in one day) on two separate occasions, but it does not make me feel better.

Come on, guy! You can be more disgusting than her! Tomorrow's Saturday. Go pick up three guys and have sex with them all the same day. Let them go ass-to-mouth on you. Hell, repeat on Sunday and Monday, and double your notch count all on one weekend.

 

[rearea]

^^^^^


This.

There is a reason you don't like her past. Because you shouldn't and you are programmed to not want to commit, let alone to commit to sluts.

Once a woman breaks the 2 notch count, her commitment statistics plummet. She will be far more likely to cuckold you than a woman who has better restraint.

The root of the problem here is, are you of the opinion that this woman is the best you can do? Why not get a younger one with less baggage?





Once again from the top. Women are hypergamous and want the alpha, regardless of how many women he has slept with. Men do not want to marry the town-wh0re, regardless of how hot she is.

Sorry cupcake, but your equalism statements make no sense. You are just going to have to hide that high notch count you've racked up if you want a decent man to buy your used up crevasse. Women instinctively know that a high count ruins them for other men, which is why they so vehemently hide it, and accuse the competition of being sluts themselves.

Have fun weeding out the high quality women with that attitude. I avoid man*****s because they make ****ty boyfriends. So do my friends. I went to a birthday party last night where a guy known for being a slut hit on another girl...she was saying after he left that he is not the type of guy who would be good for a relationship.

Im thinking of 3 "alpha" man*****s who have pursued me off the top of my head and I dont give them the time of day. I have one at my work who has been hitting on me for 2 years. He is ok to talk to but Id never date him. A guy who acts like that is not trustworthy in my opinion. The women that tend to like these type of men tend to be emotionally unhealthy...so the OP's girl is prob emotionally unhealthy

I dont need to hide anything- I dont have a high count. Im pretty picky about who I sleep with. Any guy who has a high count is immediately written off in my book. Guys with no self control make terrible boyfriends.

 

[plate's_empty]

I dont need to hide anything- I dont have a high count. Im pretty picky about who I sleep with. Any guy who has a high count is immediately written off in my book. Guys with no self control make terrible boyfriends.

Sounds like a lot of boring sex between you and whoever you're banging. I find a lot of prude's and girls that are very opinionated usually are the worst sexual partners.