How to not be the old dude in the club

[MrLuvr]

You got to understand, I see guys online make extraordinary claims of how they have all these 21 year old girls into them. But there's nothing to back it up and it's blatantly obvious it's their ego talking. .

Oh and about this, I put my pic up earlier in the thread. I do get IOIs from 20 something women on a regular basis. Are you saying it is just ego talking and it is impossible that I would be getting any interest??

 

[Cableguy]

I'm 35 but most people think I'm 27. I live very close to a big state university so there are TONS of young hotties around. The bar I'm a regular at has a wide variety of age groups but the young ones always seem to be into me the most. I think alot has to do with the hobbies I have. I love to surf, snowboard, and wakeboard. These sports and the culture that goes along with them are made up of predominately young people.

When I go to the beach and am out surfing, chicks could give 2 shyts how old I am. I've had 17 year olds literally throwing themselves at me. When I invite young chicks to go wakeboarding and they see me land a wake to wake FS 540, whatever image they had of me goes out the window. I have literally gotten out of the water and had the boat bunnies squeeling with compliments. The hobbies and passions a man has can not only keep him feeling youthful, but can also project the vibe that he's a "cool" cat. It's one of the reasons I believe I've been so successful with young girls.

The feminazi haters can try and shame all they want to. If there's one thing that I have found true of women it's that they do what they WANT to do. I've NEVER been rejected because of my age. I have however had plenty of young hotties tease me by calling me an old man. I always give the same response: "What I lack in youth I make up for in experience." I make sure they know EXACTLY what I'm talking about when I say this. The looks I have gotten from some of these girls are priceless. Ahh...the smell of tainted youth

 

[ketostix]

In a club, you are right.

Appearance matters everywhere. Don't confuse strictly physical attractiveness with overall appearance. I believe attraction is primarily visual for women as well.

Were these older guys any good at getting girls when they were younger? How do you know the obstacle is that they are older? Many guys have a certain obstacle stuck in their head. It could be anything. I am bald, that is why I don't get girls. I am short, I am fat, I am Asian etc.. etc. The list goes on. Forget about older guys, how many guys do you see trying and not getting anywhere? I see 100s, even thousands of guys falling flat on their face.

The point is most guys I know in real life got more young girls when they were younger. They just got more attraction in general from women when they were in their mid 20's than they do at 30+ all things being equal.

I think you are basing too much of your opinion on what happens in the clubs. Even most 20 something guys fail in a club. So, take the age out of it. A club is not the final indicator of society. I hardly go to clubs these days but I interact with 21 year olds all the time. There is one college girl who work at the coffee shop I go to, we flirt all the time. She always say "come back and see me" etc. You can meet them anywhere. Most guys that are succesful with younger women meet them outside the club environment where they have their guards down and are not "showing off" for their girlfriends.

You admit you don't even go to clubs anymore yet you are saying how it is for 20 year-olds. True many 20 year-old guys fail too, but they also have more successes and face less resistance from women.

I will tell you one thing, if you don't look much older, i.e people don't mistake you for the girl's dad when they see you together, it makes it a lot easier.

Well that's my point, if you don't look much older then it's not a problem. But that's the key, there's the IF. I don't know why some people get a burr up their azz on here when you state something that is little different from what their saying but just said in a different way.

 

[ketostix]

Oh and about this, I put my pic up earlier in the thread. I do get IOIs from 20 something women on a regular basis. Are you saying it is just ego talking and it is impossible that I would be getting any interest??

WTH why do people take everything personal on here? What I said was on the 'net there's no shortage of big claims and older guys that say they have all kinds of 20 year-olds after them, but yet you'd be hard press to find older guys like this in real life. I even met some of these guys from online, and it became clear that were exagerating everything. This what I'm meant by ego talking. So when I see an older guy making claims on the 'net, I take it with a grain of salt. Why you are taking it personal I'm not sure. What can I say? If the shoe fits wear it and if it doesn't then don't. Also, people tend to get in an uproar when they know a message is true but don't want to accept it.

 

[ketostix]

I'm 35 but most people think I'm 27.

See the disclaimer. What it's saying is most people think 35 is old. You look 27 so that's not too old. But if a young girl found out upfront you are 35 for a lot of them that would be an obstacle. My point is it's just an obstacle. It can be overcome but it's still there.

I live very close to a big state university so there are TONS of young hotties around. The bar I'm a regular at has a wide variety of age groups but the young ones always seem to be into me the most. I think alot has to do with the hobbies I have. I love to surf, snowboard, and wakeboard. These sports and the culture that goes along with them are made up of predominately young people.

When I go to the beach and am out surfing, chicks could give 2 shyts how old I am. I've had 17 year olds literally throwing themselves at me. When I invite young chicks to go wakeboarding and they see me land a wake to wake FS 540, whatever image they had of me goes out the window. I have literally gotten out of the water and had the boat bunnies squeeling with compliments. The hobbies and passions a man has can not only keep him feeling youthful, but can also project the vibe that he's a "cool" cat. It's one of the reasons I believe I've been so successful with young girls.

I think regional difference can come into play. I also live near a big state university too. Older guys don't go into the College district much, it's pretty clique for such a large college. Even in the entertainment district downtown the older people stick to certain bars. I don't know what it is but all the guys I know in their 30's and older don't make much headway at the younger bars and it's not for a lack of trying. They do seem to do better in the day time and at coffe shops etc. though. Looking young and being active like you are can make the age-difference a non-issue, but these is despite being older not really because one's older.

I think
The feminazi haters can try and shame all they want to. If there's one thing that I have found true of women it's that they do what they WANT to do. I've NEVER been rejected because of my age. I have however had plenty of young hotties tease me by calling me an old man. I always give the same response: "What I lack in youth I make up for in experience." I make sure they know EXACTLY what I'm talking about when I say this. The looks I have gotten from some of these girls are priceless. Ahh...the smell of tainted youth

I think the main problem is not the feminazi per say, but that they gave the girls' friend's and acquantances a topic to try to c0ckblock you with. I agree women will do what they want based on attraction but it doesn't help that others have an issue to run interference on.

 

[STR8UP]

The point is most guys I know in real life got more young girls when they were younger. They just got more attraction in general from women when they were in their mid 20's than they do at 30+ all things being equal.

I have gotten more attention from women of all age groups in the past several years than the previous 15. As soon as I got into my early-mid 30's I suddenly became more desirable.

Why is this? I hadn't worked out in years, so it wasn't my looks. Could it have been my rock star townhouse or my cars? Certainly possible, but most of the time I met these women it was before they had any idea I had all of these things.

It wasn't "age" in and of itself, it was the things that age brought me that made me more attractive. I became much wiser. I began to exude status. I started to see women not as precious objects to be cherished, but as other human being with (arguably) more flaws than most men.

Did I get more attention from early 20's women when I was that age? I would have to say yes, probably mainly due to the fact that I was around MORE of them. But it has been my experience that my age has not been a major issue with the ones I do meet nowadays.

The feminazi haters can try and shame all they want to. If there's one thing that I have found true of women it's that they do what they WANT to do.

That is exactly what I am saying.

The majority of this negativity is spewed by older women. Younger chicks might toss out the "creepy old guy" line, but ONLY when they aren't attracted to a guy. I have been partying with younger chicks who might throw out that line about another guy my age, just to end up in my bed later that night.

Like I said, at the end of the day biology trumps all. No amount of shaming will ever keep younger women from being attracted to older men. It might temper their actions (which is essentially what Keto is saying), but if the desire is there they will forget about social conventions.

 

[ketostix]

I'm talking 40 years ago, not 400.

Well I'm not talking about 400 years ago either, more like around less than 80 years ago. A lot has changed in the last 20 or 30 years ago alone.

Age is not like height or facial symmetry, which are 100% transparent to someone when you are face to face with them.

I think this is something I didn't mention before. For what it's worth, age can be more more transparent than you'd think. Even if you have good skin and a fit body and no gray hairs, your facial bone structure does change. Your ears and nose tends to keep growing. Now this isn't as drastic as facial symmetry and obviously varies for each person, and it's debatable if this makes you less attractive. Of course a female's not going to be able to predict you're 37 or whatever. It's just that a younger girl and most everyone else is going to be able to tell an age difference. How much it matter or whether it matters or not is a different story.

I do not deny the fact that society (old hags) shames women into believing that older men are less desirable, but I can tell you from experience that all shaming aside, at the end of the day age is much less of an issue than people make it out to be.

My whole point is that it shouldn't really be an issue at all, but it is.

Shaming DOES exist, but as with all other forms of shaming, nothing will completely counteract biology.

Well I never said it shaming completely counteracts biology, but it can affect female behavior. In this game you need every advantage you can get and shaming sure doen't help things. I don't really see where the big disagreement is about. It seems like you are thinking I'm saying that it's almost impossible for an older guy to get early 20 year-old girls.

I already stated that age in and of itself is not an advantage.

But when a 34 yr old guy (me a few years ago) breaks up with a hot 21 yr. old, and his next "conquest" is a 20 yr. old, and he finds himself partying primarily with 20 something women, you have to acknowledge the fact that all the shaming in the world won't prevent a woman of ANY age being attracted to an older man.

I could show you pictures of the women I have partied with over the past few years, and most of them were in their early to mid 20's. I didn't sex all of them, but they all treated me as a peer, NOT a "creepy old guy".



I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that you were looking for it and not acknowledging the other side to the coin. I see guy of ALL ages getting rejected regardless of age. I have also heard the "He was creepy" line from these younger women when referring to an older guy they aren't attracted to, but ten minutes later another guy the same age comes up and he's "hot".



The stereotype works in your favor. If you are 40 and dress well and carry yourself with an air of youth, you can look a lot younger.

I'm sure genetics plays a role in this as does my own conscious decisions on how to present myself and act and dress, etc, but in the past six months off the top of my head I can recall bouncers at a couple of clubs being astonished at my age, several women of all ages commenting on how great I look for my age, and one cashier at a liquor store almost refusing to sell me alcohol because she thought I might be too young and giving her a fake ID.

Point is, you most definitely CAN look good at 35, 40, 45and up, and regardless of the shaming, women will always be more attracted to older men than younger men attracted to older women.



Well I don't know who you hang with or what the local "scene" is like there, but amongst my social circles (most of them anyway) the norm is 20 something women with 30 something men. Most of my buddies who are in their 30's roll almost exclusively with women who are 5-10+ years younger.

And as for the younger guys who try to c0ckblock.....I have gotten that in the recent past. They would walk into my rockstar pad and start complaining about how the vodka I served them "doesn't taste like Grey Goose" and sh!t. It's quite amusing because it is blatantly obvious that they are intimidated by me and simply grasping at straws to try to build themselves up. And we all know how THAT goes. A jealous hater always looks like an ass.



All of that stuff DOES matter, but yea, you CAN compensate. Social pressure is often weak. This is possibly the weakest.

One generation of cougars basking in the glow of beta male supplication isn't going to wildly influence the natural order of things.

I think we are talking about apples and oranges somewhat here. I don't know how much different locales is a factor. I am in a tough market. When I've went to other areas of the country I saw that older men/younger women was more common. Anyway, what I've had in mid when I was discussing this whole matter is going into a college club solo or with a wing and competing head to head with all the college guys for the 21 year old hottest girls. All the advantages are with the younger idiots and they think they have social permission to interfere with anyone that looks over 23 or so. But just so we're clear, I'm not saying it can't be done by a 30-something or older guy, just that he's working around obstacles.

Whereas you seem to be talking more about going to the entertainment district on the weekend with a social circle which does include younger girls. You seem to be getting a table with bottle service. I don't know if you break away and cold approach young girls at th club or what. The two different scenarios make a difference.

 

[ketostix]

I have gotten more attention from women of all age groups in the past several years than the previous 15. As soon as I got into my early-mid 30's I suddenly became more desirable.

Why is this? I hadn't worked out in years, so it wasn't my looks. Could it have been my rock star townhouse or my cars? Certainly possible, but most of the time I met these women it was before they had any idea I had all of these things.

It wasn't "age" in and of itself, it was the things that age brought me that made me more attractive. I became much wiser. I began to exude status. I started to see women not as precious objects to be cherished, but as other human being with (arguably) more flaws than most men.

Did I get more attention from early 20's women when I was that age? I would have to say yes, probably mainly due to the fact that I was around MORE of them. But it has been my experience that my age has not been a major issue with the ones I do meet nowadays.

Well just imagine what could've been had you had the wealth and exuded status before the age of 21 .

No doubt with age can come wisdom if not wealth and status too. But my point is you know how society bamboozles you into believing women are precious objects to be cherished? You got older and smarter and realized it was a sham. It's the same way with the age thing. Society is trying to bamboozle the older guy with the age thing. Just how much these social forces are able to influence the psyche of younger girls I guess is open to debate. But my whole point is it's a little trickier than the women as precious objects sham since in addition to having to reject it as an older man, it requires younger women and 3rd parties to reject it as well.

 

[MrLuvr]

The point is most guys I know in real life got more young girls when they were younger. They just got more attraction in general from women when they were in their mid 20's than they do at 30+ all things being equal.

I don't disagree with this. But I am not sure that it can be solely pointed to the fact that they are older. Society tends to segregate people of different ages. So, if you are 30 something guy going after 20 something chicks you are just going to have to accept that you have to do things differently. College bars worked when you were 21, now they don't. So, find different venues. Most girls who to college bars are there with all their friends. The guys that you see them hooking up with at the college bar are guys they know from school. If some random guy 20 year old dude tries to go in and hit on these chicks, he is going to get the same blocking that the older guy gets.

You admit you don't even go to clubs anymore yet you are saying how it is for 20 year-olds. True many 20 year-old guys fail too, but they also have more successes and face less resistance from women.

Any guy that deviates from the "look" depending on the bar is going to have trouble. The further away you are from the "Abercombie guy" or "skater dude" or "wannabe rapper" that is the scene where you are at, the harder it is going to be. Being older and looking older doesn't help. I agree. But, then neither does being bald or fat or short or asian.

I don't know why some people get a burr up their azz on here when you state something that is little different from what their saying but just said in a different way.

Look, I don't think we disagree on much. You are focused on the 21 year old guy in the club scene. I am saying, you are right in that limited scenario. But, there are so many more ways to get to the same goal. What worked 10 years ago for a guy doesn't work now, so change and do what does work for a guy now. Will there be girls that will never go for older guys. Yes. But, you can't worry about the ones you can't have. Instead focus on the ones you can have. And there will be enough to keep you busy. In some cases, the whole taboo of not going out with older guys can work in your favour. A lot of girls like to try something that is outside of societal norms. It is taboo, so they want to do it even more. That can work to an older guy's advantage.

 

[ketostix]

I don't disagree with this. But I am not sure that it can be solely pointed to the fact that they are older. Society tends to segregate people of different ages. So, if you are 30 something guy going after 20 something chicks you are just going to have to accept that you have to do things differently. College bars worked when you were 21, now they don't. So, find different venues. Most girls who to college bars are there with all their friends. The guys that you see them hooking up with at the college bar are guys they know from school. If some random guy 20 year old dude tries to go in and hit on these chicks, he is going to get the same blocking that the older guy gets.



Any guy that deviates from the "look" depending on the bar is going to have trouble. The further away you are from the "Abercombie guy" or "skater dude" or "wannabe rapper" that is the scene where you are at, the harder it is going to be. Being older and looking older doesn't help. I agree. But, then neither does being bald or fat or short or asian.



Look, I don't think we disagree on much. You are focused on the 21 year old guy in the club scene. I am saying, you are right in that limited scenario. But, there are so many more ways to get to the same goal. What worked 10 years ago for a guy doesn't work now, so change and do what does work for a guy now. Will there be girls that will never go for older guys. Yes. But, you can't worry about the ones you can't have. Instead focus on the ones you can have. And there will be enough to keep you busy. In some cases, the whole taboo of not going out with older guys can work in your favour. A lot of girls like to try something that is outside of societal norms. It is taboo, so they want to do it even more. That can work to an older guy's advantage.

I see what you're saying now MrLuvr and I agree with just about every point you made here. I think we are basically saying the same thing. I was focusing on the college party scene as that is where the vast majority of 18-22 year old girls are in my city at least. And afterall, this thread was about not being the old guy in the club. I'd add that I think an older guy is best served to play the wealth and status role even if he doesn't actually have any.

My whole point originally was that the social convention Rollo pointed out was not just in the minds of older guys but was a social convention that other groups are trying to enforce. This young people vs the older mentality is not entirely new. I think it might have started in the late 60's/early 70's, ie. "don't trust anyone over 30". Granted, that was meant in a slightly different context than dating. It's just I don't think age difference has ever been stigmatized to the degree it is today. I guess the feminazi never stop pushing their agenda further.

 

[Cableguy]

These feminazis all have one thing in common. They are undesirable. I know hot 35-40 year old women and they could care less how old the girls are that I'm banging. They're busy. Busy getting younger c0ck I might add. The ugly ones on the other hand, the fat ones, the butch ones, the ones with no self esteem, no self worth, no self identity, the bitter ones, the ones whos' tits are sagging, the ones getting wrinkles and vericose veins, the ones with cankles, bad hair, bad ***** odor,...those are the ones that become incensed when they see me lock lips with a girl they presumed was my lil' sis. I hope their heads explode.

 

[MrLuvr]

These feminazis all have one thing in common. They are undesirable. I know hot 35-40 year old women and they could care less how old the girls are that I'm banging. They're busy. Busy getting younger c0ck I might add. The ugly ones on the other hand, the fat ones, the butch ones, the ones with no self esteem, no self worth, no self identity, the bitter ones, the ones whos' tits are sagging, the ones getting wrinkles and vericose veins, the ones with cankles, bad hair, bad ***** odor,...those are the ones that become incensed when they see me lock lips with a girl they presumed was my lil' sis. I hope their heads explode.

Don't under estimate the role of older guys in pushing the feminazi agenda. There are very few single AND attractive 30 and 40 something guys around. Take an average 40 year old guy who has been married for 10 years, with one or two kids, sharing his bed with the same woman for 10+ years and watching as she has progressively grown fatter and less attractive. When he looks around and sees a guy close to his age sleeping with 20 something women he doesn't like it one bit. He did all the right things, went along with what society told him, got married early, had kids etc..etc. Now he is stuck with some over the hill bag who he can't get it up for anymore. What does he do? He adopts the feminazi agenda because it is an outlet for his own jealousies.

 

[MatureDJ]

I was wondering, how old can a man be to go to an under-21 age club without seeming creepy?

 

[Nutz]

I was wondering, how old can a man be to go to an under-21 age club without seeming creepy?

As old as you want. It's not *only* an under-21 place. I've been out with 37-39 year olds and some seem right at home. Others don't. It's a personal issue more than a perception issue IMO. The one 39 year old that didn't fit in was like that because A) his avatar screamed "old man" and B) his own comfort level was off and it projected to others. If you are comfortable in your own skin and dress stylish they you can do just fine. Again, this is based on my own experiences where at 32 I fit in just fine, as well as other 37-39 year olds I've been out with.

Anyway, my point here as to "what's the limit?" is that it's actually up to you the individual. If you're cool with being there then people will be cool with you being there. If you feel awkward and out of place others will pick up on that and feel you're awkward and out of place. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women mirror men's emotions and vibes. This is why we have to lead them and be unreactive. We're their emotional stability. The "old guy in a club" thing is just one more instance of that.

 

[MENtality]

I have gotten more attention from women of all age groups in the past several years than the previous 15. As soon as I got into my early-mid 30's I suddenly became more desirable.

I believe it's a case of perseverance. The mature man hasn't the need for trickery. He doesn't waste time. He appreciates his time and the practicality to make the most of it, in a given situation. Women of all ages know this is a sign of integrity and purpose. There's no angle. If a mature man wants her toes pointing up to Jesus then, by God, she understands what he wants and will comply or she'll cash in and find another option suitable for her level of maturity.

 

[MENtality]

I was wondering, how old can a man be to go to an under-21 age club without seeming creepy?

Are you talking about a third grade classroom? That would be creepy.

Are you talking about a rave party? That's not-so creepy.

Are you talking about meeting at noon for shuffleboard? THAT IS CREEPY!

Age matters only if you allow it to matter. If you walk into a place full of young bucks and kittens and you think you're too old to be there then you're too old to be there.

 

[Truman181]

Guess what, we're guys. We find hot, younger women sexy. We're attracted to them. Get over it and stop being ashamed of it.

If you are in your 30s and ashamed that you are attracted to younger women then there is a good chance that when you were in your 20s you were ashamed that you were attracted to women at all. And what I mean by that is you probably had thoughts like "I have to pretend that I like her as a friend because, God forbid I might like to do dirty things with her. If she knew I wanted to get naughty with her she might think I was a creep".

Stop being ashamed of your sexuality. We are men and we attracted to sexy women.

Most women are attracted to older men. I've met plenty of women 10 years younger than me who have came out and said they've dated 20 years older.

If a woman buys into the 'shaming' stigma of the creepy old guy then she isn't enlightened.....yet

 

[lookyoung]

I have dated plenty of younger woman so I am more than qualified to answer these questions. First of all I would like to say that if your 44 or for that matter 34 there are some 21 year old girls out there that will not date you plain and simple. ( Even if you do look like brad pitt. They will say your hot for an older guy but they still won't **** you unless your the real brad pitt).

I can speak for myself when I say this but I feel my game was better with 21 year olds when I was 28 than it is now. Will be better now than when I hit 39. But if you have your **** together and are a man in every sense of the word than you can have success with any age group. A stud 40 year old is better than an average 23 year old anyday. This being said you can't fool mothernature and the younger you are the better your chances are with younger woman.

The reason above is the reason why a man should consider marriage before he gets to be 50. Because once your 50 what kind of girl are you going to get? A girl with kids, a girl who has been divorced and a host of other things. And to the few 50 year olds on this forum that say I had a 26 year old flirt with me at the grocery store my question is I am not talking about flirting I am talking about fuking these girls. Do you guys actually fuk these girls? That is the sign of true interest level and trumps everything else.

 

[ketostix]

I have dated plenty of younger woman so I am more than qualified to answer these questions. First of all I would like to say that if your 44 or for that matter 34 there are some 21 year old girls out there that will not date you plain and simple. ( Even if you do look like brad pitt. They will say your hot for an older guy but they still won't **** you unless your the real brad pitt).

I can speak for myself when I say this but I feel my game was better with 21 year olds when I was 28 than it is now. Will be better now than when I hit 39. But if you have your **** together and are a man in every sense of the word than you can have success with any age group. A stud 40 year old is better than an average 23 year old anyday. This being said you can't fool mothernature and the younger you are the better your chances are with younger woman.

The reason above is the reason why a man should consider marriage before he gets to be 50. Because once your 50 what kind of girl are you going to get? A girl with kids, a girl who has been divorced and a host of other things. And to the few 50 year olds on this forum that say I had a 26 year old flirt with me at the grocery store my question is I am not talking about flirting I am talking about fuking these girls. That is the sign of true interest level and trumps everything else.

I agree with you Lookyoung on every point you made. I didn't want to come out in say it but your point about 50 year olds bragging about some 23 year old flirting with them is a good one. They rarely are actually fukking these girls. The hard truth is most of the time the girl sees it as toying with some harmless older guy. I was talking more about going out, attracting and actually fukking the younger girls with other 21 guy vultures and c0ckblocking friends in the way of the process.

Anyway, my point was that there was a real social convention that was an obstacle in the way of the older guy hooking up with early 20 year-old girls, and not whether younger girls are attracted to older guys or whether some older guys pill it off. I'd have to say in my experience the ease of picking up girls 18-23 peaked around age 25-28.

 

[lookyoung]

Oh and about this, I put my pic up earlier in the thread. I do get IOIs from 20 something women on a regular basis. Are you saying it is just ego talking and it is impossible that I would be getting any interest??

In your pic you do look great for your age. I don't mean to call you out but do you or cableman bang any of these girls? Not saying you don't but if you aren't than I don't think you could preach about younger woman. Right now I am banging a 25 year old. If I am banging that same girl when I am 37 I am not going to be telling everyone how 21 year old girls are giving me IOI's unless I am actually fuking them.