How to make your dating life less dreadful

[CornbreadFed]

They are not the 5%. 95% of guys wont be the 5% of in demand guys.

What constitutes as the 5%?

 

[CornbreadFed]

When I first moved to my current city in the early 2010s, I was staying under the Leykis $40 rule then. That was impressive for that era.

Dates now don't need to cost $70-$100. Keeping them as inexpensive as possible is a good idea. I think there's a tendency for men to play it as a numbers game (which is a bad idea) and too many arrange too many dates that shouldn't be arranged. There's a lot of poor screening that happens. Most of this happens from tech-based dating (swipe apps & DMs) rather than in-person approaching.

Men need to re-focus and arrange fewer but better screened dates that would lead to more successful outcomes.

The numbers game only works for younger men with less responsibilities and older man with easy predictable jobs. If you run a business or work in a high stress level specialized job then you don't have the time or energy to be "playing the numbers game"

 

[corrector]

What constitutes as the 5%?

People who are successful with OLD.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The numbers game only works for younger men with less responsibilities and older man with easy predictable jobs. If you run a business or work in a high stress level specialized job then you don't have the time or energy to be "playing the numbers game"

If you don't screen, you'll be schemed.

 

[Isildur1]

Have you seen her 2000-3000 matches though? High quantity doesn't equate to quality. Would you rather select from a pool of women in Dhaka, Bangladesh or Brickell, Miami? If you are just a boring male that brings nothing to the table but a penis, then yes you are going to struggle in the pool filled with other desperate boring men.

I don't use online anymore - 90 percent of the women I've dated have been through daygame- 5 percent from night game and 5 percent from Online when I was traveling Brazil and Burma

I really don't enjoy online personally I've only had 1 lay from it and that was in Brazil an "easy mode " country relative to the UK where im from

 

[CornbreadFed]

People who are successful with OLD.

A lot of people are though, so I don’t get the 5% reasoning?

 

[SW15]

The numbers game only works for younger men with less responsibilities and older man with easy predictable jobs. If you run a business or work in a high stress level specialized job then you don't have the time or energy to be "playing the numbers game"

In the last 15-20 years, there's been an emphasis on booking a lot of dates with online dating websites (before swipe apps) and swipe apps.

With online dating websites and swipe apps, what can easily happen is men can have a lot of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. In these interactions, women ghost by not responding to the 2nd date offer text or send some "I had a good time but do not see this going anywhere" type text. This is an experience for men that is negative.

It's better to avoid that type of experience by not playing the numbers game.

This isn't a numbers game if you're not doing the best things. Numbers will only lead to psychological trauma.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I don't use online anymore - 90 percent of the women I've dated have been through daygame- 5 percent from night game and 5 percent from Online when I was traveling Brazil and Burma

I really don't enjoy online personally I've only had 1 lay from it and that was in Brazil an "easy mode " country relative to the UK where im from

So there’s no competition in day game or the women you are approaching don’t have OLD profiles?

 

[Isildur1]

So there’s no competition in day game or the women you are approaching don’t have OLD profiles?

a lot of women I dated from cold approach didn't do online dating - some of them didn't because they couldn't trust the profiles online others saw it as a waste of time .

That being said I do have female friends who use online dating all the time and a few really enjoy it a few say they don't as the men they meet have confidence issues and end up being weird so its a mix bag of variables really .

One Hong Konger I met from daygame in London nearly got raped by her Turkish bumble date this caused her to give up on online dating

another Czech female friend nearly got raped twice from online dating once from a Turkish man and another from a Kuwaiti man - she used it primarily to get money from Saudi men in London

My brother met her girlfriend single mum off it which makes me realise more than ever that there are a lot of bottom of the barrel women on it

my other brother met a Russian bride off online dating who ended up cheating on him 3 times no less.

my other cousin met a woman off online dating who stole his electric guitar on the first date after he went to the toilet at his place

these examples are from the UK

then again my male cousin in the uS met his wife on it - she's a very wealthy doctor and they live happily with 2 kids

my gay male friend got laid a huge amount from online more so than any straight man I know but he quit using it as he realised he was just being used for sex and the intimacy just wasn't there after a while -

my best friend met his wife on hinge in California and they are still together

so again a mixed bag - my current girlfriend I met from cold approach during the day and she's great she's never downloaded a dating app before and is too scared to try online

in general though the stories seem to tilt towards the negative from my personal experience from friends and family - again I am aware these are situational examples that don't define or make perfect rules .

 

[Isildur1]

So there’s no competition in day game or the women you are approaching don’t have OLD profiles?

the competition varies of course- if she has a large social circle of male friends then of course in daygame the competition Is still there- most my daygame lays came from tourists or people studying one off master's degrees in London who didn't have friends in the city and low options - so daygame is an easy way to get ahead of all the online dating profiles and the non existent social circle

For girls who lived in London born and raised and had social circles in London it was harder to glean dates from them in daygame- most already had boyfriends or just weren't as spontaneous than the tourists or the uni students- either because they didn't like me or they already had enough options so didn't need to take me into consideration , or they would date me briefly but choose someone else in their social circle/job instead.

 

[CornbreadFed]

the competition varies of course- if she has a large social circle of male friends then of course in daygame the competition Is still there- most my daygame lays came from tourists or people studying one off master's degrees in London who didn't have friends in the city and low options - so daygame is an easy way to get ahead of all the online dating profiles and the non existent social circle

For girls who lived in London born and raised and had social circles in London it was harder to glean dates from them in daygame- most already had girlfriends or just weren't as spontaneous than the tourists or the uni students- either because they didn't like me or they already had enough options so didn't need to take me into consideration , or they would date me briefly but choose someone else in their social circle/job instead.

So you have a clear-cut strategy and specific demographics of women that you target which is something I openly promote men to do. However, your posts lean in the disingenuous because when you say day game, I am assuming you are out on the street approaching every woman with a pulse which IMHO is harder than being on the swipe apps.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

People who are successful with OLD.

I wouldn't be considered in the 5% solely from the looks standpoint but I am pretty wildly successful with OLD.

People need to stop believing what the media tells you to.

 

[Isildur1]

I wouldn't be considered in the 5% solely from the looks standpoint but I am pretty wildly successful with OLD.

People need to stop believing what the media tells you to.

you're probably in the top 5 percent of men looks wise then - for men in the bottom 90 percent its a struggle for me hence why I chose daygame as the route out of it - it also gave me options for what I wanted not just what an algorithm gave me . For my brothers that used online they still had no real abundance from it - rather they just took the first attractive girl that matched with them because that was what there was .

For me I had some minor success in Brazil online - but translating that success to London or New York is a different thing- had the girls I matched with in Brazil been living in New York or London I highly doubt I wouldve matched with them in those cities as the competition is just infinitely higher. So geography plays a Part too

 

[The Duke]

They are not the 5%. 95% of guys wont be the 5% of in demand guys.

lol you don't have to be in the top 5% to have success on OLD. How many times have you tried it? If that was even close to being true, there wouldn't be enough men signing up for the apps.

I'm probably in the 75th percentile looks wise and did just fine on there. Looks wise, every girl I met from OLD was certainly more attractive than I was and I dated plenty of women that turn heads.

I always had my pics rated before I used them for OLD and if they didn't score 4/5 I didn't use them. I don't think most guys put enough work into their dating, nor do they know what they are doing. Or they go after women that aren't even close to being in their league. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

 

[Isildur1]

So you have a clear-cut strategy and specific demographics of women that you target which is something I openly promote men to do. However, your posts lean in the disingenuous because when you say day game, I am assuming you are out on the street approaching every woman with a pulse which IMHO is harder than being on the swipe apps.

Im saying there is a specific demographic of woman that was more positive to my approaches than others- these tended to be the girls studying at university or tourists who were just more open and down for meeting . Women who already had social circles or were born and raised in London were a lot trickier to convince to date

for me daygame improved my personal confidence a lot - I met a lot of fantastic woman and my now girlfriend whom I don't think I would've got close to meeting on an apps- I defiantly found online dating a lot flakier to deal with and just didn't enjoy convincing people through a screen who didn't know me to come meet me- it felt emasculating to be honest

Why I believe daygame will always be the best form of dating for the majority of men to meet new women :

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insi…

mindful-masculinity.org

 

[Isildur1]

I wouldn't be considered in the 5% solely from the looks standpoint but I am pretty wildly successful with OLD.

People need to stop believing what the media tells you to.

you probably are but won't be willing to admit it

again people who do well online dating convincing people with no matches that it works when those with no matches or few successes probably are inferior looks wise . that's the common trend with online I see- I got fair bunch of matches and dates in the "third world cities" like in Brazil/ Myanmar but in competitive cities like London I got legitimately nothing - US in Dallas I got hot matches when I used the apps there 10 years ago but I didn't have time to meet with any of them and doubt any of them would have met me due to the geographical issue of the vast density of Fort Worth.

 

[Isildur1]

So there’s no competition in day game or the women you are approaching don’t have OLD profiles?

cold approach helps to improve your smv because it show cases you at least have confidence and a degree of self worth- it doesn't guarantee anything but it at least gets you through the door . online dating can't do that unless you go on the actual date itself- great photos can help but in competitive cities like London and New York it can be tough to differentiate yourself .

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Cornbread,
Posts like yours have a demoralising effect on the Young Guys and those in low income situations...only back in May you posted "G.F. wants me to sign lease agreement before I move in"....reading between the lines you were strapped for cash,quote"....I am using this opportunity to save money...",now suddenly you want to throw money around like a Man with no arms...In the same thread you talk about having 3-6 Girlfriends...Seems contradictory to me.

 

[corrector]

How many times have you tried it?

That is a fair question. I did OLD in earnest between 2006-2012 and mainly used website apps. The most I got from it, apart from a few brief encounter-like short-term (no sex) relationships mainly in 2007-2008 and aborted hook-ups after a month of trying (2006), was meeting my ex-gf in 2012....which kinda made up for some of the bad experience I had prior to meeting her. After a few more tries after 2013 I just quit it since I was not getting any traction. I can't say I've tried it after 2016. 2016 being the last year I met someone from OLD. If I had a horrible experience using websites before the apps became common, and I'm only using one website (ie Christian cafe / Christian Filipina -- currently registered on both and have a paid subscription on one of them), I don't have any appetite to try out apps which is touted as being way worst than the websites. This is added to the fact my SMV is also lower since I don't have youth on my side anymore and nothing that really would attract a woman into my life...so why bother right?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you probably are but won't be willing to admit it

again people who do well online dating convincing people with no matches that it works when those with no matches or few successes probably are inferior looks wise . that's the common trend with online I see- I got fair bunch of matches and dates in the "third world cities" like in Brazil/ Myanmar but in competitive cities like London I got legitimately nothing - US in Dallas I got hot matches when I used the apps there 10 years ago but I didn't have time to meet with any of them and doubt any of them would have met me due to the geographical issue of the vast density of Fort Worth.

I'm definitely not looks wise. Not terrible looking, just not traditionally "hot" either according to most women.

What I am is in very good shape physically, muscular with wide shoulders and built like an NFL linebacker.

And I am very good at making women excited to meet with me and do well in person conversationally and escalating wise. I present myself as a well rounded person which is sorely lacking from most people these days.