How to get your girl to lose weight

[Cry For Love]

jesus so she hasnt tried that hard to lose weight, u act like like its a personal attack on me. Ever think some people r just lazy when it comes to that?

Lazy or not, she acts, and thus makes value judgements. And those value judgements she makes are in plain sight to you(ie effort to lose weight costs more than the reward of your appreciation), although you dont want to admit them

 

[DJinTraining06]

Lazy or not, she acts, and thus makes value judgements. And those value judgements she makes are in plain sight to you(ie effort to lose weight costs more than the reward of your appreciation), although you dont want to admit them

Well she recently joined a gym so obviosuly she cares now. Going more often to the gym is just a matter of her enrgy level and laziness. She def wants to be thinner. no girl enjoys being fat. Ive seen pics of her with ex bf's and she was not thin then. She was never a thin girl maybe that is a detail im leaving out. I just had hoped shed eventually diet or at least just stay the same weight until were much older and middle age kicks in. but now that i live with her i realized she wasnt even trying andhad gained a significant amount of weight. When ur already a thick girl thats fine and soem girls like it inclsuing myself as long as the girl is cute, but wehn ur already that weight u have to be very careful not to gain cuz ur very close to being chubby or fat. Thats wat bothers me, and i really dont see how its me cuz she told me once after breakups she always lostr weigfht and worked out alot. But looking at pics she was never super thin she was always a thick girl just not fat. So what that tells me is n matter who she dates shell start out a nice type of thick and then eventually gain 15-20 lbs and barely try to work out. i teased her woprking out one day cuz she was telling me that crunches dont work for her, and i was like yea cuz u actually have to do them regulkarly and increase the amounts of crunches, and she snarled at me and said thats what her ex bf uased to say and he was a jerk. Shes like i hate those condescending comments i didnt expect that from u. So u see wat im saying? This is not a girl that likes to date an alpha guy, she would never put up with a guy who doesnt put up with her fatness, she would dump him. Her last bf from all accounts was a jerk and wasnt that niuce to her and she didnt stay with him.

 

[Alle_Gory]

jesus so she hasnt tried that hard to lose weight, u act like like its a personal attack on me. Ever think some people r just lazy when it comes to that?

I don't think its a personal attack at all. I believe she does not give a sh*t.

Well she recently joined a gym so obviosuly she cares now. Going more often to the gym is just a matter of her enrgy level and laziness. She def wants to be thinner. no girl enjoys being fat.

There's a middle between fat and thin.

i teased her woprking out one day cuz she was telling me that crunches dont work for her, and i was like yea cuz u actually have to do them regulkarly and increase the amounts of crunches

Crunches don't actually do anything, she is correct. Let me guess, the rest of her workout you got her doing bis and tris?

This is not a girl that likes to date an alpha guy, she would never put up with a guy who doesnt put up with her fatness, she would dump him. Her last bf from all accounts was a jerk and wasnt that niuce to her and she didnt stay with him.

I fully agree with her.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I don't think its a personal attack at all. I believe she does not give a sh*t.



There's a middle between fat and thin.



Crunches don't actually do anything, she is correct. Let me guess, the rest of her workout you got her doing bis and tris?



I fully agree with her.

Shes really good looking at has a huge rack so she gets hit on alot, so that is the problem. There are tons of guys who would want to go out with her and she knows this from experience getitng hit on at bars and elsewhere all the time. Therefore why would she have any real drive to lose weight. Sure she doesnt wanna be a total fatty and im sure shed like to be thin as does any girl, but add a lil laziness to the equation and the fact that she knows guys want her and where is her motivation. hey i wanna be ripped and i keep sayin i will b and i havent done it yet, why? cuz of laziness and in part cuz im in a relationship which fuled alot of that laziness. u know nothin of my situation so stop making assumptions. beleive me shes very good looking, it just bothered me that she wasnt tryin to lose and was actually gaining. that is my dilemma cuz i do find her attractive and i love her so i dont weant to leave her. Me being "alpha" and tellin to lose weight is jut gonna make her leave and shell be banging soem other guy soon.

 

[Cry For Love]

Look at the desperation in your posts man. Are you really worth so little to yourself? Is this really all you want from life? To give up your desires and ideas just so you can remain on subsistence level relationship-wise.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Shes really good looking at has a huge rack so she gets hit on alot, so that is the problem.

No, that's a separate issue. What she thinks about you is YOUR problem. You have a major impact on her whether you think so or not. If you're a bum and you don't give a crap she will slack off. If you start to give a crap, so will she. She's going to the gym now isn't she??

You reek desperation. You supplicate. You give her control. Why?

Because I don't think you have any faith in yourself and your abilities. But you have more influence than you think you do. You're selling yourself short. This is YOUR issue.

Answer me this: Did you get her ass in the gym? Was this your doing?

Me being "alpha" and tellin to lose weight is jut gonna make her leave and shell be banging soem other guy soon.

There's a right way and a wrong way to do it. You have more power over this girl than you think. How you apply it determines how it will work. This is as far as I can comment on because I really don't know your people skills.

How about she get her lazy ass on a treadmill so she doesn't lose YOU?

 

[DJinTraining06]

No, that's a separate issue. What she thinks about you is YOUR problem. You have a major impact on her whether you think so or not. If you're a bum and you don't give a crap she will slack off. If you start to give a crap, so will she. She's going to the gym now isn't she??

You reek desperation. You supplicate. You give her control. Why?

Because I don't think you have any faith in yourself and your abilities. But you have more influence than you think you do. You're selling yourself short. This is YOUR issue.

Answer me this: Did you get her ass in the gym? Was this your doing?





There's a right way and a wrong way to do it. You have more power over this girl than you think. How you apply it determines how it will work. This is as far as I can comment on because I really don't know your people skills.

How about she get her lazy ass on a treadmill so she doesn't lose YOU?

I think shes tipping me over the breaking point now. I am very close to breaking up with her, im starting to think shes just not a quality woman and it has nothing to do with me. She just went out with her friends for her bday last night and of course she had to get completely trashed. God forbid she just gets a lil drunk or kept a buzz going all night. She ended up falling on the sidewalk outside the club and broke her wrist severely. i now will have to take care of her and the apartment for a couple months. She of course now will not be going to the gym which she just joined and shes not the type of girl to go for walks and do other stuff. She will be completely sedntary and eat more of the crap diet she normally has and will gain even more weight. She is gonna be so obese i will b emarassed to go out with her anywhere. She was mad at me for not coming out for her bday last night. I didn't go for a couple reasons. number 1 I took her out to dinner and biught he r a nice gift already on her actualy bday days ago. number 2 cuz it was gonna b all girls except for one guy who was showing up later in the night. number 2 cuz i know she has to get thrashed on her bday and i didnt want to be part of that. She gets to wherer she can barely walk straight its childish, nobody needs to get that drunk every time! I also had 2 work this morning and did not want to be worthless today. She is a slob i cant deal with it anymore, i told her off real bad and told her she drinks like an animal and that i dont have time right now to take care of her cuz im very busy at work. I made her cry but watver i dont care, things have to change.

 

[speakeasy]

I haven't read most the posts in this thread so sorry if I'm repeating a point already made, but as to the topic at hand, American women have a problem with weight. This isn't a problem everywhere in the world. American women know they can let themselves go and pay no consequences. I'm convinced this is due to our culture of feminism and fat acceptance. You think there's demanding fat women in Italy or Japan? We American guys just have to start holding American women to higher standards. More of them will get their wide asses into the gym if they know there will be social consequences for stuffing their faces with McDonalds and Taco Bell and not getting any exercise.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I made her cry but watver i dont care, things have to change.

I hope they do. Now as far as her wrist, get her to the doctor, get her a cast... and that's about it. Do the minimum. She wanted to be a dumbsh*t so let her feel the consequences of her actions. Stop protecting her and being nice, she needs a kick in the ass. Maybe she'll learn something from this.

You are ruining this girl by treating her like a princess every time she does something stupid.

How do you think this b*tch go to be like this? (spoiled girl & car) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JvtlB_NzI8

 

[DJinTraining06]

I hope they do. Now as far as her wrist, get her to the doctor, get her a cast... and that's about it. Do the minimum. She wanted to be a dumbsh*t so let her feel the consequences of her actions. Stop protecting her and being nice, she needs a kick in the ass. Maybe she'll learn something from this.

You are ruining this girl by treating her like a princess every time she does something stupid.

How do you think this b*tch go to be like this? (spoiled girl & car) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JvtlB_NzI8

Yea I i gave her a piece of mind more than once and she got really angry and started callin me an a-hole and yelling and crying. Whatever i dont care i didnt back down. She keeps denying that she was that drunk, and im like dont tell me that cuz friends dont call ur bf up at 3:30 am to tell them their gf is sleeping over their house and that too drunk to tell u herself. Shes like well i dont know why she said that, if u dont wanna beleive then ur an a-hole. Im like i beleieve wat i want to. I told her that u cant get sh*t faced every damm time u drink its disgusting. She goes oh so now im an alcahloic, im like no not at all and thats wat makes it even more disgusting to me. Drink to have fun not to pass out every time. But watever now i have toi help her a lil thewirs no escaping it, but i am doing as little as i possibly can. Shes gonna be in a damm cast for 6-8 weeks cuz of stupididty.

 

[Veridin]

This is not a girl that likes to date an alpha guy, she would never put up with a guy who doesnt put up with her fatness, she would dump him.

But she should know that no guy likes fatness. So a guy who "puts up with it" is actually not accepting and thinking it is all right, he is just afraid of saying what he really thinks.

I think shes tipping me over the breaking point now. I am very close to breaking up with her, im starting to think shes just not a quality woman and it has nothing to do with me. She just went out with her friends for her bday last night and of course she had to get completely trashed. God forbid she just gets a lil drunk or kept a buzz going all night. She ended up falling on the sidewalk outside the club and broke her wrist severely. i now will have to take care of her and the apartment for a couple months. She of course now will not be going to the gym which she just joined and shes not the type of girl to go for walks and do other stuff. She will be completely sedntary and eat more of the crap diet she normally has and will gain even more weight. She is gonna be so obese i will b emarassed to go out with her anywhere. She was mad at me for not coming out for her bday last night. I didn't go for a couple reasons. number 1 I took her out to dinner and biught he r a nice gift already on her actualy bday days ago. number 2 cuz it was gonna b all girls except for one guy who was showing up later in the night. number 2 cuz i know she has to get thrashed on her bday and i didnt want to be part of that. She gets to wherer she can barely walk straight its childish, nobody needs to get that drunk every time! I also had 2 work this morning and did not want to be worthless today. She is a slob i cant deal with it anymore, i told her off real bad and told her she drinks like an animal and that i dont have time right now to take care of her cuz im very busy at work. I made her cry but watver i dont care, things have to change.

What a story! She doesn't sound like a pleasant person at all in that post.

I have to say this, I don't like it at all when people get fat. They are letting down their partners and they know it. They are bringing ugliness to the world when they could be bringing beauty. And they are not doing their duty: a badly functioning physique hampers your ability to do all sorts of things that an adult should be doing.

Maybe someone would say that's easy for me to say, I am not fat and don't know how hard it is to lose weight. No, I am not fat, but I do not what temptation is like. I have strong cravings for candy. And years back, I used to drinke Coke every week, at least 1.5 liter. But I stopped. And now I eat very little candy, even though I am tempted every time I go to the store. I have also stopped eating half-processed food almost completely - and I eat no pre-made microwave food. Staples is the way to go. If I can do it, with my serious cravings for sugar, then anyone can do it.

Men should not be fat, and women should not be fat. It is possible to change. It is bad not to change. For God's sake, we only have one life. Think of how much worse it gets when you are fat, on top of everything else. Ugly instead of beautiful. Is that any way to live your precious few years of youth? They are not coming back! You will have to regret the loss for decades. What a waste.

I think it is justified to break up with a girl over obesity - you have to think of yourself. Especially if it is a girl who likes to get drunk, totally wasted. I despise that, in men and in women. There is no reason to get wasted, none. You lose money, you lose health, you make a fool of yourself and you know that sooner or later you will make big mistakes. And how fun is it to have wrinkles and a haggard face in your early thirties because you spent your twenties getting wasted every week? Don't think it won't show. Sugar, alcohol, cigarettes and tans all wear down the skin. (Yes, sugar too. Tears down the molecules in the cells under the skin, something like that.)


In short, be a man of quality, and expect your partner to show you the same courtesy. You only have one life.

 

[DJinTraining06]

she just texted that me she didn't sleep well and kept having nightmares last night and one of them was that i had a new gf. I laughed and asked who the girl was and she goes i dunno but u told me u had a new gf cuz i was fat and she was skinny. lol i dont know how to even reply to this. it kind of makes me happy that she had this dream, it at least makes me think she does care about her weight after all. I dont wanna reply to her with "oh ur not fat, that would never happen" but at the same time i dont wanna be totally harsh. How can i reply to her in a clever way that is nice but shows her that yea i do think she needs to lose weight.

How bout if i just reply:
"lol thats some dream. If ur worried bout ur weight just start a serious diet and exercise routine when ur arm heals."

 

[Alle_Gory]

I wouldn't say anything. Just smile and nod. That's some dream babe... etc.

 

[DJinTraining06]

yea i said that but then i added "if your weigths bothering u why dont u just do something about it? people lose tons of weight all the time wats the big deal?" she said screw u to me, but then i explained myself some more and she was like fine whatever. Im like u cant be mad at me cuz of a dream thats ridiculous and shes like im not mad at that im madf at ur response to it.

I rather tell her what she needs to hear than wat she wants to hear. shes not mad at me she actually seemed quite happy by the end of the day. Kinda surprised, maybe she realizes she has no leg to stand on, shes getting blubbery and im not a big guy and she prob knows that unfair to me.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I rather tell her what she needs to hear than wat she wants to hear. shes not mad at me she actually seemed quite happy by the end of the day. Kinda surprised, maybe she realizes she has no leg to stand on, shes getting blubbery and im not a big guy and she prob knows that unfair to me.

Seems to me like she's ok with you taking a stand and demanding a standard out of her.

There might be hope just yet, provided you continue to do what works. What you're doing now is working. You're being more direct about what you want and you're not apologizing for what you want.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Seems to me like she's ok with you taking a stand and demanding a standard out of her.

There might be hope just yet, provided you continue to do what works. What you're doing now is working. You're being more direct about what you want and you're not apologizing for what you want.

Yea i aint backing down this time or apologizing for anything i say. She wants a ring from me shes gonna have to earn it by losing 20 lbs

 

[DJinTraining06]

Seems to me like she's ok with you taking a stand and demanding a standard out of her.

There might be hope just yet, provided you continue to do what works. What you're doing now is working. You're being more direct about what you want and you're not apologizing for what you want.

Im also gonna demand sex a minimum of twice a week. Once a week with me having to beg for it is bullsh*t. I aint even ring shopping till shes out of ehr cast, start losing weight and having sex with me mor ethna once a week. im a young guy why do i need a fat gf who wont sleep with me?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Im also gonna demand sex a minimum of twice a week. Once a week with me having to beg for it is bullsh*t. I aint even ring shopping till shes out of ehr cast, start losing weight and having sex with me mor ethna once a week. im a young guy why do i need a fat gf who wont sleep with me?

I got the Rocky theme song playing in my head for some reason.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I got the Rocky theme song playing in my head for some reason.

Yea unfortunately i can't expect either of these things from her now. She cant have sex with a broken wrist (well if she really wanted to im sure its doable, but she said she can't cuz where would she put her arm, so ok i gotta back off there. She said she could do other things for me (aka bj's) but as i suspected she hasn't been.Ive been cooking for her, do all the dishes, cleaning, taking out trash, foodshopping, taking care of her cat etc etc, and not one bj yet in 9 days. As far as the weigth she cant workout with a broken wirst and is home and bored so she is gonna eat tons of junk. All i been doin is not buying a single unhealthy item and hiding my junk (cuz im not fat and desrrve some) in a place shell never find it.

I been cold and distant with her lately and ignoring her a lil and i think she thinks its cuz of her broken wrist and now im gonna just look like a jerk. So basically i gotta b nice to her now and wait till january and her cast is off to try and train her into a woman thats worth dating. To me a girl has attributes ie - cooking,cleaning, sex, bj's, nice shape. My girl has none of those. I do love her but i feel i desrerve better, so its a dilemma for me cuz i think my whimpy behavior caused her to b like this. I take alot of blame thats why im not dumping her yet. If i stop being a whimp and she still has no attributes then thats it shes gone.

 

[Trader]

Are you in shape and physically fit?

If you are, it will make your *demands* for her to get into shape, that much more powerful.