How to get your girl to lose weight

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

DJ Damage and Gangster of Love said it pretty damn well. I agree with them.

If you want and feel confident about it. You could talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel. You could say; "You know.. we been together for 2 1/2 years and I still love you but, I feel your letting yourself go a little bit.." Maybe, something like that for example and talk it out.

Or you plan physical activities that the both of you can do. If you have a dog... walk your dog together. Go on a hike, bike ride, throw a frisby, shoot hoops. Things like that to get her active.

 

[DJinTraining06]

DJ Damage and Gangster of Love said it pretty damn well. I agree with them.

If you want and feel confident about it. You could talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel. You could say; "You know.. we been together for 2 1/2 years and I still love you but, I feel your letting yourself go a little bit.." Maybe, something like that for example and talk it out.

Or you plan physical activities that the both of you can do. If you have a dog... walk your dog together. Go on a hike, bike ride, throw a frisby, shoot hoops. Things like that to get her active.

She'd flip a sh*t if told her that, and i can barely get her to take a walk forget frisby lol Man this sux cuz i love her so i dont wanna dump her, but i also dont wanna date a cow, cuz one its gross, and too its embarassing. I used to be proud of her, wheni was with my family or friends, now im embarassed. She's very close to being a fat girl.

 

[shaunuk]

See, I know in a way it's possible to blame yourself, I don't believe it's anywhere near "your fault" at all. People *do* become comfortable in relationships -- doesn't mean it's acceptable for her to become too comfortable.

You used to be proud of her being your gf, and now you're semi-embaressed about introducing her as your gf. That's bad, very fvcking bad.

You also mention you don't have time to cook her healthy ****, and try to encourage her, etc...

Mate, it's not YOU who is the problem. It's her. Whether you "let" her to "too comfortable" or not is highly irrelevent. She is/was not willing to just stay looking awesome for you.

So what does that tell you?

It's time to move on.

 

[DJinTraining06]

See, I know in a way it's possible to blame yourself, I don't believe it's anywhere near "your fault" at all. People *do* become comfortable in relationships -- doesn't mean it's acceptable for her to become too comfortable.

You used to be proud of her being your gf, and now you're semi-embaressed about introducing her as your gf. That's bad, very fvcking bad.

You also mention you don't have time to cook her healthy ****, and try to encourage her, etc...

Mate, it's not YOU who is the problem. It's her. Whether you "let" her to "too comfortable" or not is highly irrelevent. She is/was not willing to just stay looking awesome for you.

So what does that tell you?

It's time to move on.

I thought by me tellin her that i was working out and eating healthy all day it was gonan rub off, and yesterday it seemed it was. She texted me saying she was gonna walk from work to the train station which is about a mile from her job. Well she texted me later on saying work was stressful she was gonan just take the train. Then, today i talked to her on the phone and she told me she had leftover pizza for breakfast. I mean c'mon pizza for breakfast when ur an overweight girl. She is totall;y unconcerned botu her weight, i dont understand it.

 

[Alle_Gory]

She'd flip a sh*t if told her that, and i can barely get her to take a walk forget frisby lol Man this sux cuz i love her so i dont wanna dump her, but i also dont wanna date a cow, cuz one its gross, and too its embarassing. I used to be proud of her, wheni was with my family or friends, now im embarassed. She's very close to being a fat girl.

You either make it known that she's getting fat (in a direct or in a nice way) and get her ass moving so she can be attractive again OR you accept her for what she is and stop complaining about it.

In conclusion: do something or quit complaining. Venting on sosuave.net isn't making the problem go away.

And you just made a thread about being called out shy. Maybe now you can you see the negative consequences of being shy. A lack of power over yourself and influence over other people. Especially your girl. You can't even talk to her about an obvious problem which is bugging you.


First thing to fix is how you handle situations.

 

[DJinTraining06]

You either make it known that she's getting fat (in a direct or in a nice way) and get her ass moving so she can be attractive again OR you accept her for what she is and stop complaining about it.

In conclusion: do something or quit complaining. Venting on sosuave.net isn't making the problem go away.

And you just made a thread about being called out shy. Maybe now you can you see the negative consequences of being shy. A lack of power over yourself and influence over other people. Especially your girl. You can't even talk to her about an obvious problem which is bugging you.


First thing to fix is how you handle situations.

Umm being a lil shy would have nothin to do with stiopping my girl from beign fat. Any time ive ever said the slightest thing about weight to her she gets susper sensitive so i dont try anymore. I am slightly shy when meeting new poeople im not shy with people io know like my girlfriend

 

[Alle_Gory]

Umm being a lil shy would have nothin to do with stiopping my girl from beign fat. Any time ive ever said the slightest thing about weight to her she gets susper sensitive so i dont try anymore. I am slightly shy when meeting new poeople im not shy with people io know like my girlfriend

Looks like you're going to have to bite the bullet either way. Talk to her and risk losing her (pain) OR live with her grossly unattractive body which you tell me is only going to get worse (long term pain) and eventually you're going to break it off with her as she lets other things go like the personality which makes her your girl (more long term pain).

Also her being super sensitive about her weight gain means she's aware of it. She actually does give a damn but lacks the strength to do something about it. This is where you're supposed to come in as the man. Get her ass in shape, and quit tiptoeing around the problem.



If you weren't shy, you wouldn't be in this situation. Shyness is not being able to speak up, which is happening right now.

You can either continue to make excuses and complain (like a pvssy) about your girl or you can do something about it (like a man).

 

[steve38]

There is no incentive for her to lose weight. She is getting the same from you that she was getting when she was only 'thick'. And if you leave her, there are a hundred guys that will step in and maybe treat her even better. She knows this and she will not be losing weight anytime soon, if ever. Get used to being with a fatty or dump her and move on.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

She even said to me once "when i get married im gonna be hot, im gonna just not eat for a year before" And then she says just to warn u tho "im gonna prob put it right back in a few months" That was my openign there to say soemthing to her about it, and the godamm phone rang so i lost my chance lol.

This is because she has close to zero concern for what you think. Her saying she'll be hot for when she gets married is so that she can look good for herself in her wedding photos. And she's totally right that she'll pack on the pounds right after. She'll probably be twice as big as she is now, haha.

You and this girl are done. I don't know how many people have to tell you man. Your relationship is done unless you enjoy being unhappy. Cut the cord. Start fresh with a bunch of other people, and forget this girl. If you don't listen to us now, you will end up marrying her because you're a pus$y and can't get over that you're supposedly in love with this fat hog. You will be miserable for the rest of your life, or after a while things will just get so bad that you finally realize it and divorce her. You will have then wasted years of your life with this woman, and the icing on the cake is that she'll take half your assets. Is this what you want your life to look like?

Please don't make the same mistake that so many men have made before you. Even if you wanted to stay with her, breaking up with her is still the best option. Only you breaking it off with her will be enough of a wake-up call for her and be enough to swing any power in your direction (but I still say you forget her). This is the only option you have left. She doesn't care that you think she's fat. First she didn't want to have sex with you enough, but you somehow got a little more of that, so apparently she just decided to get fat enough that you wouldn't want to anymore.

You know what to do man. We've told you for months. Do you have the balls or are you going to be the pitiful guy I mentioned above that wises up in 10 years and looks back wishing he'd taken everyone's advice?

*Edit: And yes you being called out for being shy is related. You're a pushover with poor self-confidence. If you had any self-respect or confidence your relationship would not look this way, and if it still did you would have the confidence to break it off. Start your path of self-improvement by breaking up with this woman who is sucking the life out of you. I don't know how many more ways to say it.

 

[DJinTraining06]

There is no incentive for her to lose weight. She is getting the same from you that she was getting when she was only 'thick'. And if you leave her, there are a hundred guys that will step in and maybe treat her even better. She knows this and she will not be losing weight anytime soon, if ever. Get used to being with a fatty or dump her and move on.

Your right i either gotta accept it or move on cuz shes not changeable. I've been working out in front of her or tellin her bout it, and cutting back on junk and having light beer and all kinds of things for a while now and she is still doing what she always does. problem is i love her alot and i've planned to propose later this year but this is scaring me. I dont wanna have a fat wife at age 28. She's 2 yrs younger than me, thats just not right.

 

[DJinTraining06]

This is because she has close to zero concern for what you think. Her saying she'll be hot for when she gets married is so that she can look good for herself in her wedding photos. And she's totally right that she'll pack on the pounds right after. She'll probably be twice as big as she is now, haha.

You and this girl are done. I don't know how many people have to tell you man. Your relationship is done unless you enjoy being unhappy. Cut the cord. Start fresh with a bunch of other people, and forget this girl. If you don't listen to us now, you will end up marrying her because you're a pus$y and can't get over that you're supposedly in love with this fat hog. You will be miserable for the rest of your life, or after a while things will just get so bad that you finally realize it and divorce her. You will have then wasted years of your life with this woman, and the icing on the cake is that she'll take half your assets. Is this what you want your life to look like?

Please don't make the same mistake that so many men have made before you. Even if you wanted to stay with her, breaking up with her is still the best option. Only you breaking it off with her will be enough of a wake-up call for her and be enough to swing any power in your direction (but I still say you forget her). This is the only option you have left. She doesn't care that you think she's fat. First she didn't want to have sex with you enough, but you somehow got a little more of that, so apparently she just decided to get fat enough that you wouldn't want to anymore.

You know what to do man. We've told you for months. Do you have the balls or are you going to be the pitiful guy I mentioned above that wises up in 10 years and looks back wishing he'd taken everyone's advice?

*Edit: And yes you being called out for being shy is related. You're a pushover with poor self-confidence. If you had any self-respect or confidence your relationship would not look this way, and if it still did you would have the confidence to break it off. Start your path of self-improvement by breaking up with this woman who is sucking the life out of you. I don't know how many more ways to say it.

Yea I know. I do love her though its not an easy decision, but shes been showing me alot of sides that r making me question the relationship. i also think she'd be devasted and i feel like i messed up her life if i dump her. Shes been with me over 2 1/2 yrs now and we live together. As for myself, im not at the point just yet where im gonna dump her, but im keeping my eyes open alot more. If it comes to that I will have a difficult time with it, cuz all my firends r married or engaged or always with their gf's. I will have nothing to do, nobody to chill with unless im a third wheel or 5th wheel etc. I can make a new circle of friends but that takes time and its not a given that that will come easy. Single friends that is.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Looks like you're going to have to bite the bullet either way. Talk to her and risk losing her (pain) OR live with her grossly unattractive body which you tell me is only going to get worse (long term pain) and eventually you're going to break it off with her as she lets other things go like the personality which makes her your girl (more long term pain).

Also her being super sensitive about her weight gain means she's aware of it. She actually does give a damn but lacks the strength to do something about it. This is where you're supposed to come in as the man. Get her ass in shape, and quit tiptoeing around the problem.



If you weren't shy, you wouldn't be in this situation. Shyness is not being able to speak up, which is happening right now.

You can either continue to make excuses and complain (like a pvssy) about your girl or you can do something about it (like a man).

You cant make a grown woman lose weight, im not her high school gym teacher, or personal trainer at the gym. she flips out if i mention soemthing bout her looks. Fine i guess i should stop complaining but please stop with the be a man stuff. The only manly thing to do would b to dump her if it start bothering me enough, but theres no way i can get her a$$ in shape. Thats her decision to make

 

[lalahaha]

Take a week long vacation if you can afford it. Not to some place with a beach, but some place with culture and sights to see ex. alot of Europe. This what you always do in these types of vacation, you become the tourist and walk around ALL DAY. If she's tired you can just nudge her and tell her you've spent money and went to a different continent to just sit around? No way, trust me this method works it worked on my sister believe it or not haha. And your gf gets out of work too.

On the off chance that you are from Europe and I'm mistaken, you can just come to the U.S. go to New York City Manhattan, seriously all you do is walk around all day there lol. But after the vacation is over you have to still maintain a level of physical activity or she will quickly fall back to being a bum.

 

[Alle_Gory]

You cant make a grown woman lose weight, im not her high school gym teacher, or personal trainer at the gym.

Sure you can. "I'm sorry I'm just not attracted to you anymore. I think you're awesome, but physically you're letting yourself go. I can't be in a relationship where I can't enjoy the sex. Sorry babe. You either get in shape or find someone else."

Done. But you can't do that cause you looooove her. But clearly you don't as you keep telling us. Its a cop out. You're comfortable and complacent and you don't want to do anything to change that. You don't want to leave, and you don't want to try anything to get her ass in shape because she might get 'offended'. You're walking on eggshells.

 

[Mr. Obvious]

this is the same girl as this:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154704

you didn't listen to the advice you were given in that thread, and this is what happens.

AFC's should not be in relationships, you need to dump her ASAP

 

[Alle_Gory]

AFC's should not be in relationships, you need to dump her ASAP

LOL. I like how his name is DJ in Training but does nothing even remotely 'DJ'.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Sure you can. "I'm sorry I'm just not attracted to you anymore. I think you're awesome, but physically you're letting yourself go. I can't be in a relationship where I can't enjoy the sex. Sorry babe. You either get in shape or find someone else."

Done. But you can't do that cause you looooove her. But clearly you don't as you keep telling us. Its a cop out. You're comfortable and complacent and you don't want to do anything to change that. You don't want to leave, and you don't want to try anything to get her ass in shape because she might get 'offended'. You're walking on eggshells.

Ok so i decided to listen to u. I didnt go all out telling her that i think shes becoming huge and unattractive now but i tried to indirectly get my point accross. I used her nintendo wii a few weeks ago and played her wii fit game. I was too lazy to make my own profile so i used hers. When i weighed myself it told me i was 167 lbs and that i lost 30 pounds (thinking it was her) It also told me i lose too much too fast, since she last played it 121 days ago. Ok so this was a few weeks ago and i decided to keep that information to myself. But last night i was out somewhere and she called me and told me she saw her sister today and her sister told her she was fat. She told me she was like gee thanks thats nice to say to me. SO her sister says im your sister its my job to tell u that. My girfriend tells her well i dont think i gained weight at all. And her sister kept inisting. So my girlfriends tells me this on the phone like she thinks its funny wat a ab*tch her sister is. Meanwhile im thinking to myself (no your sister is abosolutely right i wish u cared as mucvh as she did abotu your weight) But i didnt say anything.

Ok so then i drive home and when i walk in the door i see shes having torilla chips and drank 3 full glasses of wine. SHe almsot drank a whole bottle of cheap sweet wine which is prob one of the most fatteing things u can have along with greasy tortilla chips right befroe bed. So im realkly annoyed when i see this and i sit on the couch with her i was just quiet. It disturbed me and it just put me in a bad mood. I tried to hold it in but i had to say soemthing. She brigns up her sister again. So im like yea thats b*tch to say, but if u want maybe the two of us can join a gym soon, like a joint membership cuz wedprob save money. She of course says that shes too tired after work to go to a gym. Then shes like are u saying im fat? Im like no i just aked if u wanted to go to agym cuz i wanna lose wieght myself. So then i bring up to her that i used her wii fit and that it told me i lose too much too fast.

Well she was not happy, she went in the other room and was like thanks ur calling me fat too. so im like sorry i didnt mean to insult u and i played dumb like i didnt know it was a big deal andf all that and she bought it. Then this morngingn before she left for work she left me a letter which i read when i woke up since i dont work till later. The letter said shed apprecuiate it i f i didnt use her wii fit and made my own profile cuz thats an invasion of privacy. She said she very sensitive about her weight and extremely embarassed that i know the exact amount she weights and yada yada yada. the last line said i know u dont think its a big deal but im very sisensitive about how i look right now.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I dont understand she tells me shes very sensitive about how she looks right now but she wont even entertain the thought of joining a gym. some people join and then r too lazy to go. This giurl wont even join? That tells me she totally doesnt care that shes fat. She eats fattenign stuff, snacks alot, drinks alot, and never exercises. As i said before she told me when she gets married shes gonan starve herself for a yr and be super hot, but then just to warn u im gonna put all the weight rightback on after the wedding. So with all this iosnt obvious she really has no intention of ever losing weiught besides for a wedding someday? I texted her this mronign and said listen im sorry i didnt mean to insult you, but frankly i see u ever day i could guess how much u weigh alkready, it doenst matter that i now know an exact amount. What difference does that make.

 

[piranha45]

"I'm still too much of a chump to walk away from this fat pig... Hell I'm still too much of a chump to even tell her she's fat".

.
It is amazing how you have been posting about this fat landbeast for several months now, but you haven't changed a bit, despite everyone giving you a very clear and simple message.

I don't even know why you bother posting here. You've been given so much advice over the past few months and have utilized NONE of it.


WHY DO YOU WASTE OUR TIME???

 

[Alle_Gory]

I didnt go all out telling her that i think shes becoming huge and unattractive now but i tried to indirectly get my point accross.

If she's too thick, you have to be more direct.

But last night i was out somewhere and she called me and told me she saw her sister today and her sister told her she was fat. She told me she was like gee thanks thats nice to say to me. SO her sister says im your sister its my job to tell u that. My girfriend tells her well i dont think i gained weight at all. And her sister kept inisting. So my girlfriends tells me this on the phone like she thinks its funny wat a ab*tch her sister is. Meanwhile im thinking to myself (no your sister is abosolutely right i wish u cared as mucvh as she did abotu your weight) But i didnt say anything.

It's not just what you say but HOW.

A softer way:

"Hey babe, I'm really worried about your health. Are you stressed? Can't find time to exercise because too much work? You've been putting on alot of weight, yes you have. You need to exercise and eat healthier. I'm worried about you, you haven't looked and acted like yourself in awhile."

Then this morngingn before she left for work she left me a letter which i read when i woke up since i dont work till later. The letter said shed apprecuiate it i f i didnt use her wii fit and made my own profile cuz thats an invasion of privacy. She said she very sensitive about her weight and extremely embarassed that i know the exact amount she weights and yada yada yada. the last line said i know u dont think its a big deal but im very sisensitive about how i look right now.

That is so lame, it makes me want to cry.


She doesn't care about you, she doesn't care about herself. Move on, there's nothing left here. But you're not going to. Based on your replies to her you strike me as a major AFC. You can't speak your mind, you can't explain yourself and you're worried about offending.

I would go as far to say that this is all your fault. You're supposed to be the man and give your girl the support and direction she needs. She's not even happy with anything anymore, she's a mess inside and eating makes her feel good for a little while. She's asking for your support (indirectly) but you're too afraid to do anything. Hell I don't blame you though. You're weak and pathetic. Can't do anything for yourself, much less help out your girl.


Peace out.

I await the swift and brutal conclusion to this mess. Including the "I love her, how can I win her (fat lazy ass) back?" threads.