How to deal with men?

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Hi there,

since I am trying my best to put myself in situation and improove myself, I always find a lot of men trying to putme down.
I wrote this in anoter topic, but I would like to share my experiences with men, and see what you guys think about it.
I write this in hopes of finding advice from men. In this post I talk about the men I happen to deal with, and I don't want to offend any of you. Because not all men behave like this, but in every situation I find myself in, there is always this type of dynamic that makes my life heavy and difficult. I therefore ask you not to feel called into question when reading my words. Thank you.

Basically in any kind of situation, in a bar, working in a school, going to the gym, staying with friends, and even my brother: men always try to put me down.

I am the kind of self confident guy, gentle, smart, and I follow my own path without t falling prey to the hierarchies of men, without taking orders, and without ever adapting to a group. I have always thought and acted according to my code. This seems to cause a certain amount of envy and aggression in men, who then try to attack me in all sorts of ways.

If I go to the gym, some men form a group, spread bad rumors about me, talk to me behind my back, and try to bring me down by insulting me with phrases said behind my back.

In the past I worked as a waiter in restaurants, and even there, most of the time, male waiters always tried to push me down or create problems for me.

When I teach chinese language, male students try to bother and confuse me with noises or insults.

If I go to the bar, the male weaters get triggered by the fact that I speak with women.

If I work in a school, other male teacher try to find my weaknesess and try to put me down.

Even my old male friends, they were very manipulative, be friendly and then stab in the back.

Even my older brother, since I was a kid, always tried to put me down because I was "better" than him.

Usually women are kind with me, and understanding. Usually they support me. More rarely I find women that act in the same way of men, doing this covert aggression, but is something more rare. My main probelm are men.
I am a very smart guy, self confident, I speak and I teach chinese, I follow my own path. This is why men get triggered? I am getting exausted.

And so, how to deal with men? If I am gentle an friendly, they see me weak and they try to put me down. If I am self confident and I don't care of them, they get triggered and try anyway to put me down. It seems that just for the fact that I am the kind of person that I am, is somenthing most men are not able to deal with. So, anyplace I go, I always find men giving me a hard time. This is why I only date women, and have only women friends. They support me and are gentle.

What is the problem with men today? To me most of them are like acting in a very primitive behavior, like they are acting for survival, accepting hierarchies, bad behavior and acting like animals, without having any clue of why they do that. They always seems so dump to me, and still today, after puting my self in a path of growth, I have to deal with men again, and they are so bad and so miserable, that I would just like to avoid them.

 

[Clockwerk50]

They are **** testing you to see if you’re worthy of being in their tribe.

It seems like you’re failing them miserably, especially with your heightened sensitivity.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

They are **** testing you to see if you’re worthy of being in their tribe.

It seems like you’re failing them miserably, especially with your heightened sensitivity.

Testing me? Maybe you are referring only to the gym, but as I said, most men in most of the environment are trying just to cause me problems.
You say I am failing, how exactley I am failing?

 

[Chow Mein]

You think too highly of yourself and unable to relate to other people.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

You think too highly of yourself and unable to relate to other people.

I try my best to be as normal and friendly as I can. In any case, if i am friendly, if I play the game or if I am confident, they always try to cause problems. But no, I don't think highly of my self. Are most of men that see in me an enemy because they perceive that I am better. I passed most of my life limiting myself because most men getting triggered by me. Now I am tired to limiting myself.

 

[Mike32ct]

Are you perhaps overbearing? Some extroverts can come across as “too much” even if they think they’re just being friendly.

Maybe be a bit more chill.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Hi there,

since I am trying my best to put myself in situation and improove myself, I always find a lot of men trying to putme down.
I wrote this in anoter topic, but I would like to share my experiences with men, and see what you guys think about it.
I write this in hopes of finding advice from men. In this post I talk about the men I happen to deal with, and I don't want to offend any of you. Because not all men behave like this, but in every situation I find myself in, there is always this type of dynamic that makes my life heavy and difficult. I therefore ask you not to feel called into question when reading my words. Thank you.

Basically in any kind of situation, in a bar, working in a school, going to the gym, staying with friends, and even my brother: men always try to put me down.

I am the kind of self confident guy, gentle, smart, and I follow my own path without t falling prey to the hierarchies of men, without taking orders, and without ever adapting to a group. I have always thought and acted according to my code. This seems to cause a certain amount of envy and aggression in men, who then try to attack me in all sorts of ways.

If I go to the gym, some men form a group, spread bad rumors about me, talk to me behind my back, and try to bring me down by insulting me with phrases said behind my back.

In the past I worked as a waiter in restaurants, and even there, most of the time, male waiters always tried to push me down or create problems for me.

When I teach chinese language, male students try to bother and confuse me with noises or insults.

If I go to the bar, the male weaters get triggered by the fact that I speak with women.

If I work in a school, other male teacher try to find my weaknesess and try to put me down.

Even my old male friends, they were very manipulative, be friendly and then stab in the back.

Even my older brother, since I was a kid, always tried to put me down because I was "better" than him.

Usually women are kind with me, and understanding. Usually they support me. More rarely I find women that act in the same way of men, doing this covert aggression, but is something more rare. My main probelm are men.
I am a very smart guy, self confident, I speak and I teach chinese, I follow my own path. This is why men get triggered? I am getting exausted.

And so, how to deal with men? If I am gentle an friendly, they see me weak and they try to put me down. If I am self confident and I don't care of them, they get triggered and try anyway to put me down. It seems that just for the fact that I am the kind of person that I am, is somenthing most men are not able to deal with. So, anyplace I go, I always find men giving me a hard time. This is why I only date women, and have only women friends. They support me and are gentle.

What is the problem with men today? To me most of them are like acting in a very primitive behavior, like they are acting for survival, accepting hierarchies, bad behavior and acting like animals, without having any clue of why they do that. They always seems so dump to me, and still today, after puting my self in a path of growth, I have to deal with men again, and they are so bad and so miserable, that I would just like to avoid them.

Usually this happens because you look and/or act weird.
Most people are either neutral or nice. Hostility, especially group hostility, is very uncommon.
It’s probably you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Testing me? Maybe you are referring only to the gym, but as I said, most men in most of the environment are trying just to cause me problems.
You say I am failing, how exactley I am failing?

If your co-worker tells you "hey Alucard88Cool, I like your new shirt. It looks like something a clown would wear", what would you say back? How does it make you feel?

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Usually this happens because you look and/or act weird.
Most people are either neutral or nice. Hostility, especially group hostility, is very uncommon.
It’s probably you.

If it's me, I owuld like to understand what I do wrong. Because I just try to do what I have to do. I just try to be gentle, an kind. And that's it. In fact there are people who support me (mostly women) and have respect for me. Even them noticed it. And they all agree that men are jealous of me.
I don't act aggressive, I don't say anything. Maybe what I can say, is that my personality sometime shows vulnerability, and some men see that as a weakness, and they try to take advantage over me. Than when they see that I am not an idiot, but even self confident, they became scared. This is something happen many times.

If your co-worker tells you "hey Alucard88Cool, I like your new shirt. It looks like something a clown would wear", what would you say back? How does it make you feel?

When people say something like that I would just respond in the same way, defending myself, without gettting angry, and play the game in a funny way.
What trigger me is the group aggression, and the subtle attacks I receive.

 

[BPH]

If I go to the gym, some men form a group, spread bad rumors about me, talk to me behind my back, and try to bring me down by insulting me with phrases said behind my back.

In the past I worked as a waiter in restaurants, and even there, most of the time, male waiters always tried to push me down or create problems for me.

When I teach chinese language, male students try to bother and confuse me with noises or insults.

If I go to the bar, the male weaters get triggered by the fact that I speak with women.

If I work in a school, other male teacher try to find my weaknesess and try to put me down.

Even my old male friends, they were very manipulative, be friendly and then stab in the back.

Even my older brother, since I was a kid, always tried to put me down because I was "better" than him.

You need to provide some specific examples, because this stuff doesn't just "happen". Especially at gyms - most guys put on their headphones and exercise and don't really care about anybody else other than friends they may have come with.

Are you sure you're not creating these situations in your head, thinking you're more important than you are? In the movie Oppenheimer, Strauss spends the whole movie thinking Oppenheimer said something bad about him to Einstein, given his expression and ignorance of him as he walked by - turns out their conversation had nothing to do with him.

Is that you?

 

[Clockwerk50]

If it's me, I owuld like to understand what I do wrong. Because I just try to do what I have to do. I just try to be gentle, an kind. And that's it. In fact there are people who support me (mostly women) and have respect for me. Even them noticed it. And they all agree that men are jealous of me.
I don't act aggressive, I don't say anything. Maybe what I can say, is that my personality sometime shows vulnerability, and some men see that as a weakness, and they try to take advantage over me. Than when they see that I am not an idiot, but even self confident, they became scared. This is something happen many times.




When people say something like that I would just respond in the same way, defending myself, without gettting angry, and play the game in a funny way.
What trigger me is the group aggression, and the subtle attacks I receive.

I'm not sure why men don't like you without knowing you personally, seeing how you look, or understanding any of your self-reflection.

 

[crowolf]

Maybe it all stems from inner self respect.

I respect myself, and other people do as well.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

You need to provide some specific examples, because this stuff doesn't just "happen". Especially at gyms - most guys put on their headphones and exercise and don't really care about anybody else other than friends they may have come with.

Are you sure you're not creating these situations in your head, thinking you're more important than you are? In the movie Oppenheimer, Strauss spends the whole movie thinking Oppenheimer said something bad about him to Einstein, given his expression and ignorance of him as he walked by - turns out their conversation had nothing to do with him.

Is that you?

Probably in some specific occasion I'm the one exaggerating the situation. But for example, whe I first met the instructor of the gym, I just tried to be gentle and friendly.
He started waving his hands in my face, leading me around the gym and pointing his finger at the floor or ceiling in an attempt to get me to look in those directions. He was trying to show off and show how he dominated the newcomer. As soon as I defended myself, in a calm and relaxed way by pointing with my finger, and making him fall into the trap, he was triggered. From that day on, every time I talk to him he seems to get very agitated, he acts tough towards everyone, the strong man. He then started insulting me in an indirect way, hurling insults at me under his breath when I passed by him. Now, I'm labeled as the weird one, and the other idiots who follow him, play this game that when I pass, they crowd away from me and don't have to talk to me. Several times guys said "don't talk to him".
On the contrary, the women at the gym are attracted to me, they want to talk to me and appreciate what I say and think. This is the reality I have lived in for many years. Aggressive men and women attracted to me

 

[CornbreadFed]

Men are your competition rather that be for gaining women or protecting them. You need to hang out with men that do not have the same interests that you do.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Men are your competition rather that be for gaining women or protecting them. You need to hang out with men that do not have the same interests that you do.

yes, they probably see me as a threat to their territory, and their potential to pick up girls

 

[BPH]

But for example, whe I first met the instructor of the gym, I just tried to be gentle and friendly.
He started waving his hands in my face, leading me around the gym and pointing his finger at the floor or ceiling in an attempt to get me to look in those directions. He was trying to show off and show how he dominated the newcomer. As soon as I defended myself, in a calm and relaxed way by pointing with my finger, and making him fall into the trap, he was triggered. From that day on, every time I talk to him he seems to get very agitated, he acts tough towards everyone, the strong man. He then started insulting me in an indirect way, hurling insults at me under his breath when I passed by him. Now, I'm labeled as the weird one, and the other idiots who follow him, play this game that when I pass, they crowd away from me and don't have to talk to me. Several times guys said "don't talk to him".

I don't know what the f*** you're talking about man...

Dominate the newcomer?

Either you're not telling us something or this is all in your head.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

I don't know what the f*** you're talking about man...

Dominate the newcomer?

Either you're not telling us something or this is all in your head.

no mind thanks

 

[BPH]

no mind thanks

You're either not telling the full story, to paint yourself as a victim, or you're exaggerating the reality of your situation.

There is not a single gym employee anywhere that would still have a job if they purposely made members feel bad - especially an instructor. The way you describe this:

He started waving his hands in my face, leading me around the gym and pointing his finger at the floor or ceiling in an attempt to get me to look in those directions. He was trying to show off and show how he dominated the newcomer.

Is not something anybody does. Was he teaching a class? Was he giving you a tour? How are you "defending" yourself or "being friendly" like you're saying in these situations?

Nobody is going to be able to help you if you don't tell the full story man. Something's wrong here, and I don't think it's everybody else.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You're just hanging around with the wrong people.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

You're just hanging around with the wrong people.

View attachment 13152

ahahaha this is both positive and hilaryus

this is quite good, thanks