How to become more sexual

Atom Smasher

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Ok, guys, this thread is devoted to each of us coming up with two or three ways that a lifelong "nice guy" can re-claim his sexuality.

We all know that nice guys have buried their sexuality out of shame and guilt. For a man to re-claim and externalize that sexuality is a gargantuan effort, and the wall that he must smash through is the wall of incongruity.

He starts to change his body language, etc., and he faces the realization that he is largely still burying his sexuality while letting certain mechanical sexual affectations to be externalized.

Since he is in a process and therefore must necessarily spend some time with one foot in and one foot out, he can come across as creepy and incongruent.

So, what, in your opinion, are two or three ways that a man can accelerate his growth in this regard, overcome his shame and guilt, and bring out his sexuality?

Nutshell: Contibute two or three PRACTICAL ways that a man can become more sexual.
 

Alle_Gory

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Exercise more and follow a healthy diet. If you're fat, drop the weight. Fat deposits secrete estrogen.

Stop watching chick flicks and other bull**** on TV that shame the male gender.

Accept yourself for who you are and what you are.
 

Maxtro

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As a guy who has never expressed my sexuality, I'm interested in this thread.

Hopefully we'll get some good answers.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Listen to a certain type of music that you like that fits what you want to be.
 

Alex DeLarge

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-Be a hard worker and maintain stability for yourself. This isn't necessarily sexual, but it's good for yourself and makes you feel good about yourself, therefore becoming more sexual.

-Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and like the way you look. This is great for practice with talking to not only women but anyone. If you have a job interview or talk to your boss about a promotion, you're not getting it if you can't even make eye contact with them comfortably.

-Laugh. Plain and simple.. Just have a good time!

-Maintain great physical posture. Don't hunch over. A man with strong body language and great posture is a man who is confident and in control.

-Lead your date. It is the traditional role of a man. No matter how feminist or man-hating your date may be.. She will still instinctively like this.

-Do things you love. Whether it be your hobby, your craft, hanging with your friends or a sport.. Do it regularly. This helps take the stress of work and other BS we all have to deal with in life off of our shoulders for a bit.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Voice

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The first thing that should pop into your mind when you see a girl is "Would I bang her?" This makes it extremely easy to be sexual. If she's an ogre than you can instantly put her below you in your mind. If she is worthy then your interaction with her will be to find out just how worthy she is. You want to see if she can handle your own sexual masculinity. Feel NO shame. Your sexuality will NOT offend any female.

This state of mind also puts yourself as the chooser, rather than the one who must impress. It makes you the prize.
 

sexysuave

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- Keep eye contact a little longer than usual, don't be afraid to smirk while holding longer eye contact with a girl. You can also look down at her lips and then glance back up to her eyes. Too many "nice guys" look away for the most part when talking to girls.

- Find sexual innuendo in things early on, this way you set up your self to be this sexual guy from the very beginning. It's tougher when some girl knows a nice guy for years and then he all of a sudden tries to become more sexual, that will be a bit more challenging (but a guy SHOULD do it :) ). The key is to start of sexual, and let them see you like this, and that way no matter where the "relationship" goes, she will know you're a sexual person and is more likely to sleep with you even if you guys are just "friends".

- Do light kino when talking to chicks, find good opportunities to touch them slightly while you're talking to them, and if you're comfortable, you can be one of those overly "friendly" guys that hugs and touches a lot of girls while talking to them. This can lead to a lot more and a lot easier sex than just being to your self and later on have to move into kino and touching while not having established that kinda rapport with her. If you already have that established from the get to, things are a LOT easier.

-Hell, in places like bars and clubs, you can just walk up to girls with a big smile on your face and be like "heyyyyy" and spread your arms out and just hug them (almost acting like you know them) and then proceed to talking to them, just like you know them. And if they ask, then introduce your self and keep talking, but the key is that you CAN make the situation into almost whatever you want it to be. If you ACT all flirty with them and like you know them, and the atmosphere around you is "friendly/hyped up/party", this can go a long way. A lot of times they will just go along with your lead.

-I just remembered, back in the days I did this thing for a few weeks at bars or clubs where I would meet girls and they would stick out their hand, and I would say somethign like "no, I don’t' shake hands, I need a heart to heart" and I stick out my chest and point it to her heart and spread my arms out to hug them, and we hug while putting ours "hearts" on each other. lol, not sure where I found out about that, but for the most part it was pretty funny and usually gotta good laugh outta the girl. Additionally, it start kino RIGHT AWAY, and got some great bo*b action immediately lol.

- Once again, find sexual innuendo in EVERYTHING. It's pretty easy to do this if you train your self. I can almost immediately translate things to sexual in the first few sentences of a conversation with a girl. Just a few weeks ago I was at some place getting something and these two girls worked there.

- One of them was walking me to show me an item and a conversation started, and in her first two sentences one of the things she said was “I like to do it” (she was talking about her job, and named a particular thing she has to do at the job (her favorite), and then followed the pause “yeah, I like to do it” lol). I followed up with “is that so??” (suggestively), she said “yes, a lot”…(still talking about her job), and then she looked at me and I had a smirk on my face, I go “wow,, isn’t it amazing, that we just met, and here I already know that you like to do it a LOT”.. she just cracked up… and I was like “hey, that’s awesome, I love to do it a lot too”, and she kept laughing and said “hahaha, oh, you’re good”,, and I go “you already know? Who told you?”, and she kept on laughing and said “ohhh wowww” and I added, “yeah, but usually you’ll say it a lot louder and be gasping for breath”,, LOL.. she was cracking up, and this went on for a couple of minutes.. when I left she actually thanked me, told me that she was having a bad day but that I have definitely made her feel better… (so also realize that most of the girls like flirting in a sexual way, if you make it fun)..

- In addition to finding sexual innuendo in things, dress like you’re aware of your style and sexuality. Make sure to work on your body and become as sexually attractive as you can be. If you hit the gym regularly, there will come a time when you go to a club and a girl is touching you to walk by, and then hesitates and pauses and then rubs you up and down your chest and grabs your biceps and says “wow, alrightttt”… lol, this will make you feel pretty good, plus, if you’re getting that kinda kino from her, I would literally grab her right there and just make out with her. Without even talking to her, 80% of the time you’ll be successful.

- Oh, almost forgot, having said that, if a girl you don't know or you just met, asks you to get her something, or buy her a drink, or "popcorn" or whatever the case may be based on your venue, say "give me a kiss first". If she says "no, buy me a drink" you say "give me a kiss first". If she laughs and giggles and says "noooo, silly, common, get it for me" just don't budge but be like, "ok, just kiss me first" and she may give you a peck on the cheek or on your lips and then be like "oh no missy, none of that middle school stuff , kiss!" (and make your lips ready for it). LOL, I've done this at clubs and ended up MAKING OUT with girls that I didn't even know or talk to other then answering their "buy me a drink" with "well give me a kiss". My friends would just stare and ask "how the HELL could that happen?" lol, but you will be SURPRISED how many girls will start making out with you over something silly like this. After that, it's up to you. You can proceed to make good on your promise and "buy them a drink" (or whatever), or you may not lol.

- Honestly, I've played around with it a lot. Sometimes I just laugh and say "ahahha, I can't believe you fell for that", or sometimes I would say "ummm, your kiss wasn't quite satisfactory, we'll need to work on that in order to get you a drink" or anything you may want to say lol. And yes, sometimes they'll be like "jerk!!" and walk away, and other times they may keep making out with you and eventually you just take them away and take them somewhere lol. Just don't talk too much in these instances, as you're likely to ruin the mystery and excitement you have built up, just do kino and kissing until you're at a safe zone to proceed further. If they try talking too much just be brief and mysterious with your answers but sound confident. For example, her: "where are we going", you: "don’t even worry, I have this under control, you'll find out soon enough" and plant another kiss on her. Trust me, going into a life story about your self in a situation like this will ruin the mood faster than you can say "cookie" ;)

- Smell their hair, especially if you’re somewhere in private on a date, start smelling her hair. And then tell her she smells, good, and then smell her neck. Look at her seductively and don’t’ say anything, just look at her while thinking “I’m gonna fvck the **** outta you” and somehow this should let her know that you’re a serious sexual threat and she will be turned on. You can smell her for up to minutes at a time, and if she giggles and says “what are you doing” just tell her “shhh, I’m smelling you, ummm” and keep on doing it.. Run your lips SOFTLY by her neck as you’re smelling her, and you can use your hands to lightly run them across her body or back and even use your fingernails to run them across her skin, hopefully giving her goosebumps. Eventually, just go in and make out with her, and then stop and start smelling her again, and keep repeating the patterns, each time proceeding further and further.
 

Mike32ct

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I know it's been said on here in other threads, but it's worth repeating.

Stop the porn and whacking off. How can you be sexual when you keep venting your urges in front of a computer?

Kino is very important too. Start out small. Maybe just touch some chick's forearm when making a point. Then move up to other things like putting your hand on the small of her back when you lead her around, etc.
 

Voice

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sexysuave said:
- Smell their hair, especially if you’re somewhere in private on a date, start smelling her hair. And then tell her she smells, good, and then smell her neck. Look at her seductively and don’t’ say anything, just look at her while thinking “I’m gonna fvck the **** outta you” and somehow this should let her know that you’re a serious sexual threat and she will be turned on. You can smell her for up to minutes at a time, and if she giggles and says “what are you doing” just tell her “shhh, I’m smelling you, ummm” and keep on doing it.. Run your lips SOFTLY by her neck as you’re smelling her, and you can use your hands to lightly run them across her body or back and even use your fingernails to run them across her skin, hopefully giving her goosebumps. Eventually, just go in and make out with her, and then stop and start smelling her again, and keep repeating the patterns, each time proceeding further and further.
Lol, does smelling really work that well? The first thing I thought of would be she'd think it's weird.

Other than that GREAT post lined with experience and wisdom.
 

FairShake

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Kino, deep eye contact, and innuendos have it. Those are the three most important things to do in order to set the mood before the mood. Eye contact is so important that I ditch the nerd glasses when I'm trying to fvck. It works much better.

That and wear more attractive clothing.

Edit: And cologne. Subtle cologne.
 

f283000

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This might be the easiest thing you can do (but difficult for some): Unbutton your 2nd shirt button

I have to admit I had problems doing this. I felt self conscious, I didn't want the extra attention I might get, it felt weird, it felt risky etc.

To summarize all that I was afraid to show my sexuality and that i am a fun/sexual being.

As simple as this is it does have a great influence on how women perceive you. You are seen in a more sexual light by women, it shows you are confident in your sexuality so it makes you look confident in the eyes of women, it makes you look more fun, risque etc. I guess it makes you look like a guy that has fun in his life as opposed to a formal looking shirt wearing guy that might look all uptight.

If you look at all the guys that are good with women whether it be PUA's, famous men in history, good dancers, you will notice how none of these guys button the 2nd buttton (most don't do even the 3rd).

Now a days I never button my 2nd shirt button whether it be for work (if not wearing a tie) or outside of work. I know this works because my confidence has improved and I feel the perception/vibe I get from women is different. I feel that i am seen as more of a sexual threat to women then a friendzone candidate. Whether it be at a club or just shopping for groceries.
 

Atom Smasher

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This is great stuff, guys. Keep it coming. I might sticky this for a while because I think it will be eminently useful for newbies and veterans alike.

Feel free to contribute with any and all ideas.
 

Jitterbug

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Learn how to partner dance.
 

jimmy18

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1. Shave head

2. Improve posture (keep chest out, shoulders back)
 

Atom Smasher

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This is a high concentration of extremely practical and worthwhile material.

I knew you guys would come through with some great ides.

Stickied for now.
 

European-DJ

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This is really great stuff ..

I have extreme issues with this ****, i am sleeping with 100's of girls - litterely. but not fvcking them .. i keep it friends-zonishhh
 

CuriousGirl

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sexysuave said:
- Keep eye contact a little longer than usual, don't be afraid to smirk while holding longer eye contact with a girl. You can also look down at her lips and then glance back up to her eyes. Too many "nice guys" look away for the most part when talking to girls.

- Find sexual innuendo in things early on, this way you set up your self to be this sexual guy from the very beginning. It's tougher when some girl knows a nice guy for years and then he all of a sudden tries to become more sexual, that will be a bit more challenging (but a guy SHOULD do it :) ). The key is to start of sexual, and let them see you like this, and that way no matter where the "relationship" goes, she will know you're a sexual person and is more likely to sleep with you even if you guys are just "friends".

- Do light kino when talking to chicks, find good opportunities to touch them slightly while you're talking to them, and if you're comfortable, you can be one of those overly "friendly" guys that hugs and touches a lot of girls while talking to them. This can lead to a lot more and a lot easier sex than just being to your self and later on have to move into kino and touching while not having established that kinda rapport with her. If you already have that established from the get to, things are a LOT easier.

-Hell, in places like bars and clubs, you can just walk up to girls with a big smile on your face and be like "heyyyyy" and spread your arms out and just hug them (almost acting like you know them) and then proceed to talking to them, just like you know them. And if they ask, then introduce your self and keep talking, but the key is that you CAN make the situation into almost whatever you want it to be. If you ACT all flirty with them and like you know them, and the atmosphere around you is "friendly/hyped up/party", this can go a long way. A lot of times they will just go along with your lead.

-I just remembered, back in the days I did this thing for a few weeks at bars or clubs where I would meet girls and they would stick out their hand, and I would say somethign like "no, I don’t' shake hands, I need a heart to heart" and I stick out my chest and point it to her heart and spread my arms out to hug them, and we hug while putting ours "hearts" on each other. lol, not sure where I found out about that, but for the most part it was pretty funny and usually gotta good laugh outta the girl. Additionally, it start kino RIGHT AWAY, and got some great bo*b action immediately lol.

- Once again, find sexual innuendo in EVERYTHING. It's pretty easy to do this if you train your self. I can almost immediately translate things to sexual in the first few sentences of a conversation with a girl. Just a few weeks ago I was at some place getting something and these two girls worked there.

- One of them was walking me to show me an item and a conversation started, and in her first two sentences one of the things she said was “I like to do it” (she was talking about her job, and named a particular thing she has to do at the job (her favorite), and then followed the pause “yeah, I like to do it” lol). I followed up with “is that so??” (suggestively), she said “yes, a lot”…(still talking about her job), and then she looked at me and I had a smirk on my face, I go “wow,, isn’t it amazing, that we just met, and here I already know that you like to do it a LOT”.. she just cracked up… and I was like “hey, that’s awesome, I love to do it a lot too”, and she kept laughing and said “hahaha, oh, you’re good”,, and I go “you already know? Who told you?”, and she kept on laughing and said “ohhh wowww” and I added, “yeah, but usually you’ll say it a lot louder and be gasping for breath”,, LOL.. she was cracking up, and this went on for a couple of minutes.. when I left she actually thanked me, told me that she was having a bad day but that I have definitely made her feel better… (so also realize that most of the girls like flirting in a sexual way, if you make it fun)..

- In addition to finding sexual innuendo in things, dress like you’re aware of your style and sexuality. Make sure to work on your body and become as sexually attractive as you can be. If you hit the gym regularly, there will come a time when you go to a club and a girl is touching you to walk by, and then hesitates and pauses and then rubs you up and down your chest and grabs your biceps and says “wow, alrightttt”… lol, this will make you feel pretty good, plus, if you’re getting that kinda kino from her, I would literally grab her right there and just make out with her. Without even talking to her, 80% of the time you’ll be successful.

- Oh, almost forgot, having said that, if a girl you don't know or you just met, asks you to get her something, or buy her a drink, or "popcorn" or whatever the case may be based on your venue, say "give me a kiss first". If she says "no, buy me a drink" you say "give me a kiss first". If she laughs and giggles and says "noooo, silly, common, get it for me" just don't budge but be like, "ok, just kiss me first" and she may give you a peck on the cheek or on your lips and then be like "oh no missy, none of that middle school stuff , kiss!" (and make your lips ready for it). LOL, I've done this at clubs and ended up MAKING OUT with girls that I didn't even know or talk to other then answering their "buy me a drink" with "well give me a kiss". My friends would just stare and ask "how the HELL could that happen?" lol, but you will be SURPRISED how many girls will start making out with you over something silly like this. After that, it's up to you. You can proceed to make good on your promise and "buy them a drink" (or whatever), or you may not lol.

- Honestly, I've played around with it a lot. Sometimes I just laugh and say "ahahha, I can't believe you fell for that", or sometimes I would say "ummm, your kiss wasn't quite satisfactory, we'll need to work on that in order to get you a drink" or anything you may want to say lol. And yes, sometimes they'll be like "jerk!!" and walk away, and other times they may keep making out with you and eventually you just take them away and take them somewhere lol. Just don't talk too much in these instances, as you're likely to ruin the mystery and excitement you have built up, just do kino and kissing until you're at a safe zone to proceed further. If they try talking too much just be brief and mysterious with your answers but sound confident. For example, her: "where are we going", you: "don’t even worry, I have this under control, you'll find out soon enough" and plant another kiss on her. Trust me, going into a life story about your self in a situation like this will ruin the mood faster than you can say "cookie" ;)

- Smell their hair, especially if you’re somewhere in private on a date, start smelling her hair. And then tell her she smells, good, and then smell her neck. Look at her seductively and don’t’ say anything, just look at her while thinking “I’m gonna fvck the **** outta you” and somehow this should let her know that you’re a serious sexual threat and she will be turned on. You can smell her for up to minutes at a time, and if she giggles and says “what are you doing” just tell her “shhh, I’m smelling you, ummm” and keep on doing it.. Run your lips SOFTLY by her neck as you’re smelling her, and you can use your hands to lightly run them across her body or back and even use your fingernails to run them across her skin, hopefully giving her goosebumps. Eventually, just go in and make out with her, and then stop and start smelling her again, and keep repeating the patterns, each time proceeding further and further.
This, all this.
Don't go too overboard though, if it's too overboard and all the time with every girl in front of every girl then you come across as a man-slvt and that will put off quite a few girls because if they stereotype you as a man-slvt then they could assume you have a reputation for sleeping around, this may or may not put a girl off but within that stereotype is the reputation for kissing-and-telling, people become slvts because everyone knows what and who they're up to, that can well be a dealbreaker.
However for people who are never sexual don't worry about that too much because it's unlikely you'll go overboard.

I would say first impressions are really important to be sexual, it can be difficult to bring it back the longer you've known a girl without being sexual.
 

ArcBound

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Show off your physique. If you have a decent physique, why not show it off? Wear sleeveless shirts, tank tops, don't wear a size too big. This is one of the biggest things women have in their arsenals....and it works for men as well. When you are jacked and ripped and you show it off women DO come to you as evidenced by CarlitosWay, Fuglydude, Pook and my own experience...

Secondly: I've always been a huge advocate of dancing. Seriously this is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs I've ever found. The thing is most girls today do not know how to ballroom dance. So you tell her "let's dance" and you start teaching her....and voila for some reason she's fallen heads over heels for you.

The thing about most forms of ballroom dancing is that you, as the guy MUST lead. Ballroom dancing is fun, puts both of your bodies on each other, in very close proximity. I think dancing in general is the very definition of sexuality.

Edit: Atom Smaher, it's nice to see another moderator becoming heavily involved in the community and brainstorming new things. Really helps freshen sosuave.
 

TheJazz

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Have deep convictions and charge. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, and when you're with a woman you're interested in, always lead. As a man, you'll have to be the head of the household, the leader of the family so to speak. Put that into practice early on. You make the decisions. If she's interested, she'll follow. If not, she's not for you.
 

Vice

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- Dancing is HUGE. Get over your thing about it being fruity and go do some ballroom and especially salsa. Over time you will become very comfortable being in proximity with women, and it helps with your congruence.

- Avoid any kind of media that promotes wussy behavior. I recently watched an anime and I had to SHAKE and SHUDDER the estrogen out of me. No more of that sh*t for me.

- Get over your fear of "creeping girls out". It's going to happen frequently at first, so just make sure you practice somewhere where you'll never see the girls again. The more you do it, the less frequently it'll happen.

- Porn. Delete it all. Stop watching it. I have an eBook coming about that whole thing.

- Exercise. Women love men that are well built. Get over any issues and secret feelings that you harbor about how dumb meatheads get girls.

- Think you're above materialism? Great. Women aren't. Since you don't care about having a cool car, go ahead and buy one.
 
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