How is being able to walk away an attractive quality?

[Borknagar]

Walking away isn't going to change women. You just won't waste your time with this one anymore. Most will think nothing of it and not care. It's not attractive to them, they just simply won't care enough to think about it. Maybe if it's a serious relationship, she'll chase, but if it's some dumb women you meet recently, no, she won't find it attractive, she simply won't care or even acknowledge it. Women are narcissists naturally so.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Walking away isn't going to change women.

True, it's about the ability to do whatever you want, including the hardest for some, walking away from disaster.

The realisation that you have that option can fundamentally change your mentality and attitude.

And that changes a woman's attitude towards you. I'm polyamorous and I don't recognise half the problems I hear from monogamous couples where the woman rules over the sexual activities. I don't get denied sex, if one of my kittens doesn't want to have sex (for whatever reason) there is another who will enjoy it.

 

[ez_slave]

It's different for everyone, I guess.

 

[Eross]

Walking away demonstrates higher value.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, the ability to walk away shows higher value.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

They will stop you at the door if they still care about you but if they dont care about you then they will let you leave. Its actually a great test to see how much interest she has in you

Not really. Letting someone hate you might be the best thing for you and for them. If you truly care about someone you may let them go because you know you can't be happy together (regardless of who's at fault).

A toxic women may fight to keep a man even if she doesn't actually give a fvck about him. The point of walking away has nothing to do with how the women will respond.

To paint an example, a psychologically healthy woman (a rare occurance) will respond to a man attempting to walk away/break up with her by thinking "well I don't want to be with a man who doesn't want to be with me or has even a shred of doubt, so i'll let it go instead of fighting with him to satisfy my ego". A toxic woman will....not-do that.

 

[Ali]

I hear this adage quite often at times - that most men will put up with anything from women, especially if they're beautiful women. Basically women will treat them with bad behaviour, disrespect, tantrums, and other dis-qualifiers, but they will keep going until they finally crash and burn. And I've seen this on and off a few times. If it is accurate that most men (and possibly women) do not have that level of themselves to walk away... is there a positive quality to be had to be able to do so? Putting yourself outside of the weakness of them somehow?

So hey that's great - you got your self-respect. Save yourself time, energy, etc. And I understand that part fully as important, especially for yourself (and I try to follow this). Pride and self-respect is something I try to maintain.

But I struggle with the understanding/concept around that willingness and the ability to walk away is an attractive quality... that it shows all the qualities that a woman wants in a man. Because once you've done that (walk away) - haven't you already ended the interaction with the woman? How or why does that impact them if you've cut them off already?

New here. I appreciate the account approval.
Regarding the above post, it is important to set boundaries. If there are no boundaries, you are saying anything goes. This should be done as early as possible in any relationship since the longer you wait the more difficult it will be to make corrections. As the saying goes, nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.

 

[Macadellic]

You walk away from bad deals

be it buying a
Car
House
Company
Coupon not being granted that isn’t expired

Be a f/king MAN
For Jesus Christ Sake

 

[Dr.Suave]

New here

Welcome to SoSuave bro!

 

[soulforge]

You walk away from bad deals

be it buying a
Car
House
Company
Coupon not being granted that isn’t expired

Be a f/king MAN
For Jesus Christ Sake

Nice and simple and pure FACTS

 

[BeExcellent]

…a psychologically healthy woman (a rare occurance) will respond to a man attempting to walk away/break up with her by thinking "well I don't want to be with a man who doesn't want to be with me or has even a shred of doubt, so i'll let it go instead of fighting with him to satisfy my ego". A toxic woman will....not-do that.

This. There is incredible power in the above. Some guy threatens to break up with me?

(Calmly): Ok. There’s the door. Avail yourself of it.

But don’t expect me to be here waiting if you change your mind. I have too many options who are SURE they’d like an opportunity with me. I don’t want a man who isn’t SURE he wants me.

Easy peasy & Mic drop.

Then I just see what happens next, ZFG. He goes? Ok. Next. He reconsiders? He just learned not to pull that crap on me.

 

[Dr.Suave]

This. There is incredible power in the above. Some guy threatens to break up with me?

(Calmly): Ok. There’s the door. Avail yourself of it.

But don’t expect me to be here waiting if you change your mind. I have too many options who are SURE they’d like an opportunity with me. I don’t want a man who isn’t SURE he wants me.

Easy peasy & Mic drop.

Then I just see what happens next, ZFG. He goes? Ok. Next. He reconsiders? He just learned not to pull that crap on me.

This stuff reminds me of my sister. Her boyfriend broke up with her and she didnt want to let him go.

A month later he came crawling back and they got back together. I have had a bad feeling about that relationship ever since but I hope they prove me wrong.

 

[BeExcellent]

This stuff reminds me of my sister. Her boyfriend broke up with her and she didnt want to let him go.

A month later he came crawling back and they got back together. I have had a bad feeling about that relationship ever since but I hope they prove me wrong.

The problem is that you don’t take someone back. When I say reconsider, the time for him to reconsider is immediately upon me telling him if he wants to go, then go. You are calling his bluff. IF he then goes, I’m not taking him back.

Your sister has just taught her boyfriend that she is Ok with him yo-yo ing her. He will do it again. The guy I dated before my husband flipped out on me at one point & broke up in the heat of his tantrum while drunk. We were out with friends. I gave him the Ok fine that we are broken up then statement and went about my evening.

Two hours later that same night, at that same venue I met my husband.

Here’s the epilogue: My husband and I go to dinner a few months ago and happen to run into a couple who know my ex bf fairly well. After exchanging pleasantries the wife pulls me aside and says “your ex was so in love with you, he misses you & talks about you constantly…..”

To which I replied “Well that’s unfortunate for him. Perhaps he will learn not to jerk the chain of someone he loves next time. As to me, it’s obviously worked out just fine….”

But that is not the situation your sister is in. Accepting yo-yo behavior is not good and does not bode well for that relationship. It is much better to let someone go.

I mean I’d never want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks they have a better option than me, or who is uncertain how they feel or what they want where I’m concerned. The idea of that is honestly entirely foreign to me.

It’s not what healthy self esteem people do.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The problem is that you don’t take someone back. When I say reconsider, the time for him to reconsider is immediately upon me telling him if he wants to go, then go. You are calling his bluff. IF he then goes, I’m not taking him back.

Your sister has just taught her boyfriend that she is Ok with him yo-yo ing her. He will do it again.

The situation your sister is in. Accepting yo-yo behavior is not good and does not bode well for that relationship. It is much better to let someone go.

I mean I’d never want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks they have a better option than me, or who is uncertain how they feel or what they want where I’m concerned. The idea of that is honestly entirely foreign to me. It’s not what healthy self esteem people do.

I agree 100% with you. But what can I do? All I can do is "be there for her" if (when?) things dont work out.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yup just did this with a hot little number, like an hour ago. I’d guess I’ll hear a recant before 1800hrs GMT-7. Either way doesn’t matter. There will be more…

This. There is incredible power in the above. Some guy threatens to break up with me?

(Calmly): Ok. There’s the door. Avail yourself of it.

But don’t expect me to be here waiting if you change your mind. I have too many options who are SURE they’d like an opportunity with me. I don’t want a man who isn’t SURE he wants me.

Easy peasy & Mic drop.

Then I just see what happens next, ZFG. He goes? Ok. Next. He reconsiders? He just learned not to pull that crap on me.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

I hear this adage quite often at times - that most men will put up with anything from women, especially if they're beautiful women. Basically women will treat them with bad behaviour, disrespect, tantrums, and other dis-qualifiers, but they will keep going until they finally crash and burn. And I've seen this on and off a few times. If it is accurate that most men (and possibly women) do not have that level of themselves to walk away... is there a positive quality to be had to be able to do so? Putting yourself outside of the weakness of them somehow?

So hey that's great - you got your self-respect. Save yourself time, energy, etc. And I understand that part fully as important, especially for yourself (and I try to follow this). Pride and self-respect is something I try to maintain.

But I struggle with the understanding/concept around that willingness and the ability to walk away is an attractive quality... that it shows all the qualities that a woman wants in a man. Because once you've done that (walk away) - haven't you already ended the interaction with the woman? How or why does that impact them if you've cut them off already?

It all comes down to evolution end of the day or even spirituality however I believe the two are connected. It shows abundance and not a scarcity mindset. If you were a woman entering a man’s world would you want him to be scarceful or resourceful

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree 100% with you. But what can I do? All I can do is "be there for her" if (when?) things dont work out.

It is all you can do. Perhaps when the time comes you can help her see her own value. She doesn’t for whatever reason. Walking away can be very tough, especially if the person is very attractive or you are very attached to them. But your own self respect comes first, always.

That is true abundance in action, the core knowledge that you are worthy and that if that certain person found you attractive so too will someone else, so get on with it.

About 2 weeks after meeting my husband he invited me to dinner. I met him, he seemed cagey. I asked him what’s up with the off behavior.

He said: I don’t like that you have kids and I don’t like that you travel for work……

I responded very calmly. I said: I understand. That means I’m not your girl and that’s Ok.

And I got up from the table, (very calmly) and I walked toward the door.

He practically lept out of his seat, ran after me and said: Wait! Where are you going?

I told him: I cannot change that I have children and I cannot change my work requirements because you don’t like those things. Those are structural realities of my life and there are other people who don’t see that as an impediment. So I’d rather not waste my time or yours….

He drew his breath in, sized me up for a moment and told me: That’s not fair to you, I really like you, I’ll figure it out (and he did). Not without some bumps in the road, but he knew he wanted ME, and he knew those conditions of my life are immovable and non negotiable. And I showed him a willingness to walk away, the ABILITY to walk away, with ZFG.

He understood because he observed my level of self respect and that raised, instantly, in that moment, his respect for me, even though he still wasn’t crazy about my situation, he was crazy about me (and remains so).

Nobody is going to be perfect. But you’ve got to love yourself first; respect yourself first. This comes across in your energy, your vibe. It is a ridiculously attractive quality to possess.

I’m pretty but I’m not the hottest girl on the planet, nor am I the youngest. But I LOVE me. It’s infectious and other people want to love me too.

This whole thread is about love yourself first; respect yourself first. You’ll cut so much BS out of your life by doing that and being true to that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

It is all you can do. Perhaps when the time comes you can help her see her own value. She doesn’t for whatever reason.

Nobody is going to be perfect. But you’ve got to love yourself first; respect yourself first.

This whole thread is about love yourself first; respect yourself first. You’ll cut so much BS out of your life by doing that and being true to that.

Yes, when the time comes. Thank you for your words of wisdom my friend

 

[member162951]

I’m pretty but I’m not the hottest girl on the planet, nor am I the youngest. But I LOVE me. It’s infectious and other people want to love me too.

This is it, right here^. Cut and paste to your fridge. Get it framed!

May be the best (or one of the best) posts I've seen from you @Be.

 

[Dr.Suave]

This is it, right here^. Cut and paste to your fridge. Get it framed!

May be the best (or one of the best) posts I've seen from you @Be.

I live for "taking shots" at @BeExcellent , that´s what gets me out of bed in the morning. But she´s been on fire lately, I have nothing to work with.