How is being able to walk away an attractive quality?

[oldmanofthesea]

Don’t get me wrong here: I regularly block and walk away from girls who don’t play ball or who are being less enthusiastic than I’d like, however, I’ve only had like 1-3 times (some are debatable) where a girl actually come into me after I walked away.

if the definition of attractive is to make girls attracted to you I.e. come after you, then I’d have to disagree that walking away is attractive.
It’s a good ego boost for yourself, but not an effective strategy to attract girls imo

It's true, many girls won't come back when you walk away. For those girls who don't come back, there was nothing you could have done - they simply had low IL or were the type of girl who think they want to lead the relationship and will never be happy (they won't be happy leading because women simply aren't happy in that situation, and they won't be happy if you cave to all their fussy demands because they will see you as weak and not masculine).

So in the face of this, you have two options:
1. Cave to her demands
2. Not cave to her demands and be willing to walk away if she gives you an ultimatum (which can be an indirect ultimatum by her simply not letting the issue go)

Of the above two options, the only one that even has a chance of the girl sticking around is #2.

But the bigger point is that you don't walk away to attract a girl. You walk away for yourself, and in doing so, you have the knowledge that if there WAS any hope for you and this girl, your walking away was it. You can't control her response to your walking away. Bottom line, you are making all the right decisions you can.

 

[SargeMaximus]

It's true, many girls won't come back when you walk away. For those girls who don't come back, there was nothing you could have done - they simply had low IL or were the type of girl who think they want to lead the relationship and will never be happy (they won't be happy leading because women simply aren't happy in that situation, and they won't be happy if you cave to all their fussy demands because they will see you as weak and not masculine).

So in the face of this, you have two options:
1. Cave to her demands
2. Not cave to her demands and be willing to walk away if she gives you an ultimatum (which can be an indirect ultimatum by her simply not letting the issue go)

Of the above two options, the only one that even has a chance of the girl sticking around is #2.

But the bigger point is that you don't walk away to attract a girl. You walk away for yourself, and in doing so, you have the knowledge that if there WAS any hope for you and this girl, your walking away was it. You can't control her response to your walking away. Bottom line, you are making all the right decisions you can.

Yeah I totally agree with you. I just think it’s a bit misleading to say it’s an attractive quality when it’s not really an attractive tactic so much as a time saving or face saving one. That’s all I was trying to say. Definitely with you on everything you said

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Well, I will say in the case of a couple girls I've dated, including my last LTR of 18 months which I just ended 3 months ago, my willingness to hold my frame and repeatedly walk away was more iron-clad than it ever was in the past. And this girl begged me back every time I walked away. She'd write me letters, show up on my doorstep, beg, please, etc. She was nuts, sure, but I do believe that my walking away was attractive to her. But I didn't do it to attract her, I did it to respect myself. The problem is, she could never accept that she wasn't going to eventually "win". So she would beg me back, make promises, and then once we got back together the cycle would repeat where she'd try to argue some BS with me and I'd say no and then she'd get upset and then I'd walk away again. If she were smarter and realized she wasn't going to manipulate me, things could have worked out between us. Her fights were always over jealousy and insecurity. Basically things like demanding I block certain people on social media, demanding I block my exes, demanding I show her conversations between me and my exes from before I was dating her, demanding I quit hanging out with my friends and telling me they were bad people, etc.

 

[Vlyo]

I don't think women are suddenly attracted to you once you've walked away. In a sense, this is true, but not in the way you might think.

If you've been in a relationship with someone for whatever length of time then you've both developed an attraction toward one another to some degree. Emotional drives have been formed with the source of their fulfilment being one another. Life happens, and sometimes people are pulled in other directions strongly enough and their need to fulfill older drives diminishes or simply must be sacrificed. This shift will require a change of momentum, which will involve pain, as naturally, the need to fulfill the drive is still there, and so, instinctively, to minimize pain, preferably the death of a bond should wear out slowly rather than quickly (eg LGBF).

Walking away (legit not as feminine manipulation), well, that's a friggin' clean sword swipe through a bond, but it's intelligent as it shows foresight. It can be painful to handle and process depending on the stage of relationship and the individual's psyche, and you need a certain type of mental framework or specific conditions to remain resolute, hence, women and men come back to one another in a messy interplay of reciprocal or one-sided desperation that has taken birth from the repulsion of pain, unless, the new bonds they've formed are strong enough to bury the needs associated with older drives in the background and/or they're operating on principles & standards and have a clarity of their own objectives/desires and/or the drive was relatively weak to begin with.

Boy, that was fun to write.

All in all, it's certainly more attractive than you behaving and chasing her like a cheap beggar when the relationship was dying. Walking away indicates a level of masculinity (although, it may have been a feminine tactic in reality).

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I hear this adage quite often at times - that most men will put up with anything from women, especially if they're beautiful women. Basically women will treat them with bad behaviour, disrespect, tantrums, and other dis-qualifiers, but they will keep going until they finally crash and burn. And I've seen this on and off a few times. If it is accurate that most men (and possibly women) do not have that level of themselves to walk away... is there a positive quality to be had to be able to do so? Putting yourself outside of the weakness of them somehow?

So hey that's great - you got your self-respect. Save yourself time, energy, etc. And I understand that part fully as important, especially for yourself (and I try to follow this). Pride and self-respect is something I try to maintain.

But I struggle with the understanding/concept around that willingness and the ability to walk away is an attractive quality... that it shows all the qualities that a woman wants in a man. Because once you've done that (walk away) - haven't you already ended the interaction with the woman? How or why does that impact them if you've cut them off already?

Learn game brother. It's self evident.

I got options. Fall in line or **** off. #next

 

[bat soup]

I hear this adage quite often at times - that most men will put up with anything from women, especially if they're beautiful women. Basically women will treat them with bad behaviour, disrespect, tantrums, and other dis-qualifiers, but they will keep going until they finally crash and burn. And I've seen this on and off a few times. If it is accurate that most men (and possibly women) do not have that level of themselves to walk away... is there a positive quality to be had to be able to do so? Putting yourself outside of the weakness of them somehow?

So hey that's great - you got your self-respect. Save yourself time, energy, etc. And I understand that part fully as important, especially for yourself (and I try to follow this). Pride and self-respect is something I try to maintain.

But I struggle with the understanding/concept around that willingness and the ability to walk away is an attractive quality... that it shows all the qualities that a woman wants in a man. Because once you've done that (walk away) - haven't you already ended the interaction with the woman? How or why does that impact them if you've cut them off already?

Women like tall guys and men that have legs tend to be taller than guys that don't.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

If you are willing to talk away when a woman disrespects you that means you value yourself and if you value yourself she will value you too. In putting it the other way, if you have no value for yourself and are willing to put up with her disrespect, how can you expect her to find value in you?

@RedScorpion this ^^

Keep in mind, you walk away not to raise her IL or play games or act aloof. You walk away because your time and resources are valuable.



Modern Man Advice

 

[mrskinnypantz]

because it's about having self respect women find men who respect themselves attractive.
women date enough guys back to back to pick up on certain behaviors and she knows you're scared to lose her, scared to lose your pvssy.
fvck whoever disagrees with their ''men don't only date women for sex blah blah blah '' bullsh!t

 

[2Rocky]

Well illustrated in this scene.

 

[Veréngárda]

Doesn't matter how attractive she finds it. That's the point. There's nothing to get hung up on.

 

[Mike32ct]

It’s not that big a deal. She can replace you fairly easily in 2022.

 

[IKO69]

Well when you mention "attractive" it's almost implied like it's something that is to give you a decided advantage, like a lean muscular physique. It was never intended to be. It's strictly about you - it shows you have self respect and can walk away (this is very important if you value yourself). You are not anyone's door mat - a door mat is something people step on, they wipe their feet on it too. It always baffles how much disrespect some men put up from a woman, as if she is the only one on earth.

Some people have brought up the point "she just finds someone else". Sure, but that isn't the focus, the focus is you. It's the principle that counts. Eventually you find someone who recognizes this and treats you accordingly. A guy who is wishy washy and vacillates - no one will truly respect.

 

[RBK]

The only real weapon we have is to walk away. Nothing else. It's for your mental health, not hers. Your own self respect.

Yes, she can replace you but with who? Look at all these women on social media posting selfies and videos 24/7 for validation because they ARE WEAK. Simping is the problem.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The point isn't that walking away makes you attractive (it usually doesn't), as other posters have alluded to, it's for your own sake. Same principle behind nexting girls who flake on your first date. It's not that you couldn't potentially "turn them around" or "make it work" it's that signs of low IL indicate that the woman is simply not worth pursuing under any circumstances.

I would go as far as to say that if you feel the need to walk away, if she comes back it might not be worth it.

For instance if you're in an LTR and she suddenly cancels weekend plans with some BS excuse and doesn't offer a reschedule, and doesn't respond to you for 1-2 days? No matter what, you walk away and never talk to her again, even if she comes back with tears and apology.

 

[alvinkels]

A girl broke up with me and the AFC I was tried to convince her otherwise and asked her if there's any way we could work things and she said no. So I walked away (after trashing my dignity) it's been like 4 months since then and anytime I see her I can see some sort of regret and anxiety in her eyes. I made it clear at the time of the break up that I don't want to be friends and I stocked it to and implemented no contact and concentrate on my personal development. I am proud of whom I am becoming. I would rather have a woman regret losing or rejecting me and respecting me rather than her loving/liking me. With the respect in place I know she will think twice before playing any sort of games with me next time. She also knows I don't take exes back which what stimulates more anxiety and respect.
Try it is fun watching to her deal with miseries she brought on herself.

 

[IKO69]

It's not attractive in the sense it's some kind of magic formula that will turn things around 100% of the time.

It's attractive because a lot of guys have no balls and are doormats to women. You have these stupid guys who will take abuse after abuse from women. Women knowing the guys are like this find great pleasure in treating them like doormats - stepping all over them and wiping their feet on them. They know their behavior is out of control, they know they are being bitches - so how can they respect the guy for tolerating it?

When guys take no **** and stand up to them (as in walking away or telling them to **** off) - they respect that. Now sometimes if things are too far gone it won't matter, but it's the best route to take compared to the alternative which is the simp/groveler.

You want to establish you will tolerate no bull**** from the very get go. If she knows you mean business she'll behave much better. Yes, you have to assume the dominant role in the relationship.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's not attractive in the sense it's some kind of magic formula that will turn things around 100% of the time.

It's attractive because a lot of guys have no balls and are doormats to women. You have these stupid guys who will take abuse after abuse from women. Women knowing the guys are like this find great pleasure in treating them like doormats - stepping all over them and wiping their feet on them. They know their behavior is out of control, they know they are being bitches - so how can they respect the guy for tolerating it?

When guys take no **** and stand up to them (as in walking away or telling them to **** off) - they respect that. Now sometimes if things are too far gone it won't matter, but it's the best route to take compared to the alternative which is the simp/groveler.

You want to establish you will tolerate no bull**** from the very get go. If she knows you mean business she'll behave much better. Yes, you have to assume the dominant role in the relationship.

It's not done for the benefit of "getting the woman back" or changing things with her, it's done for YOU because you have standards and if the woman isn't meeting those standards you walk away because you'd rather focus on other things in your life than a woman who isn't up to par.

 

[LTG71]

It's not attractive in the sense it's some kind of magic formula that will turn things around 100% of the time.

It's attractive because a lot of guys have no balls and are doormats to women. You have these stupid guys who will take abuse after abuse from women. Women knowing the guys are like this find great pleasure in treating them like doormats - stepping all over them and wiping their feet on them. They know their behavior is out of control, they know they are being bitches - so how can they respect the guy for tolerating it?

When guys take no **** and stand up to them (as in walking away or telling them to **** off) - they respect that. Now sometimes if things are too far gone it won't matter, but it's the best route to take compared to the alternative which is the simp/groveler.

You want to establish you will tolerate no bull**** from the very get go. If she knows you mean business she'll behave much better. Yes, you have to assume the dominant role in the relationship.

Since we men are taught to work hard and push through challenges, we naturally apply this same attitude towards women. We don’t tolerate guy friends who are d!cks but we will tolerate women for some time for a chance at something. At some point you gotta say, “fvck this“ and cut the cord. This is a great relief when you finally set yourself free. It’s like what’s in this relationship for me? I have a female acquaintance that comes around sometimes when she needs an ego boost. She’ll come dressed up fishing for a compliment. Problem is, all the other times she is quite a sh!t friend. I don’t care anymore if you look cute today, last time you were a total cvnt.

The power of self respect and not tolerating bullsh!t should be the status quo.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It’s not that big a deal. She can replace you fairly easily in 2022.

Not really. High value men are in much shorter supply than high value women. Plus, every time she has to get a "replacement" she has to start from square 1 and has less bargaining power (SMV) as time goes on. Every time a high value man walks away, she will increasingly struggle to secure a long term partner unless she goes for a simp provider.

Maybe when they're single and alone on anti depressants at 50 they'll realize their mistakes. Or maybe not, they seem to lack accountability.

 

[Divorced w 3]

It's not done for the benefit of "getting the woman back" or changing things with her, it's done for YOU because you have standards and if the woman isn't meeting those standards you walk away because you'd rather focus on other things in your life than a woman who isn't up to par.

This is a subtle but important and frequently misunderstood point.