How could he be this cold?

[Lishy]

Also he is not used to me being upset and crying I am normally the strong one, but this does noy excuse his shoddy behaviour of me

Oh and It was less then 24 hours after I heard that he did this!

 

[Purple-Haze]

Lishy, if he is not meeting your emotional needs, then your choice to leave him isn't a bad one.

I struggle with emotional compatibility at times with my bf as well. It's hard jelling with someone enough so that you give each other the space you require but are also being understanding of the other's needs.

It's wonderful to see that you do not rely on him for your emotional strength. Being emotionally independent is a great thing.

I hope you decide what is best for YOU, Lishy.

It sucks that you have to deal with this BS when you have more heart wrenching matters to focus on.

 

[bluemanson]

dump him. he aint worth it

 

[lordson]

i would never treat a a girl i cared about in that fashion unless, obviously, i didn't really care about her

alot of the people here will go on about "dont become an emotional tampon" but when you're in a relationship, you have to be there to support and care for your partner in your time of need

his behaviour is inexcusable, but he was half asleep at first, so possibly a bit diorentated adn wasnt' thinking straight, so you probalby can forgive him for that

 

[iqqi]

his behaviour is inexcusable, but he was half asleep at first, so possibly a bit diorentated adn wasnt' thinking straight, so you probalby can forgive him for that

The sad part is, that was when he was the most "comforting". In the beginning... while he was disoriented and not thinking straight!

Then he opened his mouth...

 

[schttrj]

guys, what r u doing here? its between lishy and her bf. who are we to comment on whether should she put up with this or dump him?

either way, i think he is correct (thinking from the point of view of the purpose of this website)

if he was innocent or good, then he shouldnt be cursed for only this little behaviour. thats stupid. because he was being good all the time and understands her all teh time and makes her feel good all the time, so to dump him on this, i am sorry guys but here i would curse the girl in fact. humans err, thats a fact.....

if he is being a jerk and was always a jerk like this, why on the first place should the girl choose him above other good boys like us? she felt something for him and as long as he does what works, she will be with him unless she gets fed up with abuses and so, and leaves him. since jerks get women...lol

so anyways, he is either a good innocent chap or a winner!

 

[iqqi]

guys, what r u doing here? its between lishy and her bf. who are we to comment on whether should she put up with this or dump him?

Lol. A message board duh.

Who is anyone to comment on anyone. That is like saying, "dude, who am I to comment on you and some chick who's number you want. That's between you guys."

This is an advice site. She needs advice and perspective.

 

[schttrj]

Lol. A message board duh.

Who is anyone to comment on anyone. That is like saying, "dude, who am I to comment on you and some chick who's number you want. That's between you guys."

This is an advice site. She needs advice and perspective.

lol. ok that part has been lame, right.

well, to the part,"How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?"

I find it real stupid to let anyone know my perspective whether anyone loves her or not from this small incident. come on! gimme a break! waht i was saying its waht she decides what she wants. if she wants her man to whip her while having sex, then its her choice. I am sorry but I find this thread absolutely lame and feel gay to answer anything to it even. She should in fact ask her girlfriends what she should do.

not true to this site, imo!

 

[Lishy]

lol. ok that part has been lame, right.

well, to the part,"How could he say that? If he loved me wouldnt he want to be there for me?"

I find it real stupid to let anyone know my perspective whether anyone loves her or not from this small incident. come on! gimme a break! waht i was saying its waht she decides what she wants. if she wants her man to whip her while having sex, then its her choice. I am sorry but I find this thread absolutely lame and feel gay to answer anything to it even. She should in fact ask her girlfriends what she should do.

not true to this site, imo!

I would prefer you NOT to reply to this thread! Your words are as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike!

Thanks

 

[Lishy]

Lishy, if he is not meeting your emotional needs, then your choice to leave him isn't a bad one.

I struggle with emotional compatibility at times with my bf as well. It's hard jelling with someone enough so that you give each other the space you require but are also being understanding of the other's needs.

It's wonderful to see that you do not rely on him for your emotional strength. Being emotionally independent is a great thing.

I hope you decide what is best for YOU, Lishy.

It sucks that you have to deal with this BS when you have more heart wrenching matters to focus on.

That is the killer PH, how could he say something so dumb?

 

[SilverSonnet]

I'm not going to talk about your boyfriend, I dont know him. And this is a one sided perspective on the situation. So what I'm going to say, is this.
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend, but no friend wants to see her close friend being unhappy. Celebrate her life, be happy and live life fabulously for her and you. That's the BEST thing you can do.
with love, From Ben xx

 

[WesCottII]

Dump him, or stick with him - your call. Sympathy garnering on here aint gonna do you much good.

 

[schttrj]

Dump him, or stick with him - your call. Sympathy garnering on here aint gonna do you much good.

very rightly said!

 

[Lishy]

I'm not going to talk about your boyfriend, I dont know him. And this is a one sided perspective on the situation. So what I'm going to say, is this.
I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend, but no friend wants to see her close friend being unhappy. Celebrate her life, be happy and live life fabulously for her and you. That's the BEST thing you can do.
with love, From Ben xx

You are so right SS, but that will come in time, I need to grieve for her and for her lovely son.

 

[sosilky]

small incident.

dude are you serious? do you mean the death was a amall incident? or him not being there for her?

when my niece was sick and mGF wasn't there for me it made me feel like I was weak for wanting her there. But geeze man if you can't lean on your SO if stuff like this why bother getting involved? What are you some kind of robot?

 

[LovelyLady]

Lishy,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is such terrible, shocking news for everyone who loved her, I am sure.

As far as what this situation has revealed about the nature of your boyfriend...

he is not used to me being upset and crying I am normally the strong one, but this does noy excuse his shoddy behaviour of me

For me, this would be the clincher.

It is imperative, to me as a Woman to know that my Man is at least as strong - if not ideally - stronger than I am.


If I am left to feel alone at the key moments when I need to feel his strength - then I end up choosing to be alone. At least then I know what the real status of my support system is and I am not left to falter in illusion at a critical moment.

Now some women will stay with a man after they find out he is incapable of being there at critical moments - and that is their right to choose that. But I have never been able to garner the kind of respect, love, and desire for a man who is not able to really step up at a crisis moment when I need him. Lack of emotional strength/lack of compassion/emotional incompatability is a pretty big deal to me.

I suggest you take time to grieve and support her son as he mourns the loss of his Mother, and re-visit the boyfriend/relationship aspect later - after you are able to have your needs for support met elsewhere.

(((Hugs)))

 

[schttrj]

small incident. QUOTE]

dude are you serious? do you mean the death was a amall incident? or him not being there for her?

when my niece was sick and mGF wasn't there for me it made me feel like I was weak for wanting her there. But geeze man if you can't lean on your SO if stuff like this why bother getting involved? What are you some kind of robot?

no dude, i am very sorry for lishy that she lost her friend. it is no SMALL INCIDENT. it happened to me, too. (just fyi, i lost my father during my teenage, maybe i seem so cold) i felt like suddenly a heavy stone is being put on my heart. i have emotions too. sorry if i havenot shown my condolences to lishy because my mind was on the actual bf topic. ok, when i was talking of her bf's behaviour, i was trying to mean that dumping her bf on this little behaviour thing is stupid. i think so. man, he may have got a prob or he may not have been able to judge the gravity of the situation, come on, feel the situation of the guy, dudes. if we try to see it from lish's point of view, he should have been sentenced a capital punishment by now, but did he really meant to do it? does he really not care about her? if so, i refuse to give my opinion to the girl who stays with the boy and accepts him as her bf (probably i can take it that she saw some good things in him, saw that he was genuine and different from teh other guys) and now raise a hue and cry when he is not behaving as she WANTS him to. come on, we all need to adjust to some defects in our partner's at some point of the time. see, again i reiterate that i really am grieved to hear about her friend's death but whether she should dump him or not, i dont really think that's what i can suggest upon.

if he always has been a jerk and she liked that jerk, she should either accept that jerk or dump him, why post a thread on that? its not a prob that needs a solution or a situation that needs a way out!
if he has always been good to her but that day was him comming off a little too different, tehn why not talk adn clear it out with her bf? she knows what the best to do and maybe sorry guys, once again if i had reacted cold but i really HATE b!tch!ng on others we dont even know.

 

[Mr. Z]

slipping to death in a bathtub? how embarrassing, lulz.

 

[SilverSonnet]

WHAT THE FVCK Mr. Z. You FVCKING idiot! How insensitive can you be? It's plain, and we can all see what type of person YOU grew up to be. I dont even care if this is some sick joke. You should feel fvcking ashamed man. I hope something bad happens to you now, something to teach you some fvcking respect (nothing extremely bad e.g someone dying..). Damn man, *******.

 

[sosilky]

How invested was he in this relationship? How long have you guys been together? What are the dynamics of the relationship? Are you guys so close that you talk and support eachother on everything? Does he know the person that died? The reason I ask is because he may have interpreted your behavior in a way that you were using your friends death in a maniopulative way to draw him closer to you when you felt maybe he wasn't as close as you'd like him to be or felt him driftng away.