How can one be good with women if your not that attractive?

[JPlaya]

You don't

 

[vatoloco]

How can one be good with women if your not that attractive?

There is a way.

Pay $10,000 to come to one of my seminars and I'll tell you all about it!

 

[Who Dares Win]

How do you get rich in a casino if you have no money?
You simply dont here your answer, if you play your card well you will score high but in order to sit at the table you have to do something to be accepted.

When it comes of women you get them with charisma,personality whatever but first you need them to give you a shot and thats what look is for.
Any table has a different entry level, some cheap ones allow cheap players while others are only for vips, you got what I mean.

The good thing is that by working(on you) you can get much and much money to begin with, helping you to improve the quality of the venues where you play.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Women are above all very visual consumers. You have to think of yourself like a product you are selling to her. You may not be perfect, but if you are short somewhere try to make it up somewhere else or find a girl with lower self esteem. These attributes can be ranked using a 10 point scale 1-10.

Mens Primary Attributes:
Looks
Money
Charm & Confidence

vs.

Womens Primary Attributes
Looks
Sexuality
Intelligence & Attitude

These attributes are completely subjective meaning a girl can be gorgeous but having a super low self esteem would then be seen with a much more scrubby guy than she deserves thinking she hit the jackpot.

This is why it's so important to neg girls.

it's so important to neg girls.

neg girls.


The original question: "How can one be good with women if your not that attractive?"

The answer: There are things you can do to level the playing field. If your lazy about it then all you can expect to get are girls in your same grouping (if your lucky). If you really start to honestly work on your shortcomings and get into these girls heads you can nail anything you want.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Women are above all very visual consumers. You have to think of yourself like a product you are selling to her. You may not be perfect, but if you are short somewhere try to make it up somewhere else or find a girl with lower self esteem. These attributes can be ranked using a 10 point scale 1-10.

Mens Primary Attributes:
Looks
Money
Charm & Confidence

vs.

Womens Primary Attributes
Looks
Sexuality
Intelligence & Attitude

These attributes are completely subjective meaning a girl can be gorgeous but having a super low self esteem would then be seen with a much more scrubby guy than she deserves thinking she hit the jackpot.

This is why it's so important to neg girls.

it's so important to neg girls.

neg girls.


The original question: "How can one be good with women if your not that attractive?"

The answer: There are things you can do to level the playing field. If your lazy about it then all you can expect to get are girls in your same grouping (if your lucky). If you really start to honestly work on your shortcomings and get into these girls heads you can nail anything you want.

Negging needs to be done with caution especially if the guy is a newbie. Lots of times a guy will neg purposely to try to beat down a woman's ego, but that's the wrong mentality. A lot of chicks can see right past that. One reason why it is CRITICAL to have a set of female friends (that you are NOT fukking) is to get inside perspective. Countless times you hear about how silly it is when a guy tries to neg her but it's coming from a place of insecurity. The girl sees right through it and ultimately the guy just looks like an insecure prick.

Also, negging should ONLY be done after you know whether the girl places her value on primarily her looks, etc, and is USE to being given tons of attention over such things. If you start negging a girl who is already insecure but who doesn't get the attention that some of the 9s or 10s get, you're bound to build up her b*tch shield and she will merely ignore you.

Point is: approach negging with caution. It's a complicated maneuver that must be calibrated to the girl.

 

[SgtSplacker]

^^ I agree, and there's tons of instructionals on how to neg properly. So it's not like we have to go out there and reinvent the wheel. From my reading I understood that negging is always a friendly thing. So your not saying things like "well you're not the prettiest thing in the world!" but you do say more subtle things like "ops I think you have something on your face." or just fixing her hair for her. Just that alone is enough to kinda set her back and that's what were talking about here. Negging is not insulting, it's just reminding her that her sheet stinks just like everyone else's. It gets her judgment of you out of her mind and it gets her thinking self consciously and a little more practically. This is what you want. You use negging to change her frame from elitist to something more down to earth. If your being offensive then your just not doing it right.

 

[ilikecharlene]

I have seen all kinds of man attracting hot woman. One of my buddies bald, short , fat and not rich guy with a wild personality and confidence married a model thats taller then him. I've seen this type of thing many times. As long as you are confident as who you are chicks will gravitate towards you. Also it's a numbers game. Talk to ten chicks and I bet that at least one will date you.
It's not how tall you are or big you are but how tall or big you THINK you are.

Why even get a hot woman? isn't it just young boys pop culture that says to date the hottest girl out there?

I'll be blunt and frankly non-PC to the OP:

- Yes, looks DO matter.
- Confidence doesn't come from looks
- Being NEGATIVE is as big a turn off.

So you're not an Adonis, big deal. it doesn't mean you're not date-worthy. Nobody truly is.

 

[Black.Magic]

Looks don't matter if you have a blatantly sexual vibe, are confident and funny.

Two words: Howard Stern. Somebody on this forum posted a link to his interview with playmate Farrah Fawcett. Here it is again, notice how he's all over her comments:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNgt6iGrydM

Just remember that Stern is a funny-looking guy with glasses. And he got a long kiss from a Playboy Playmate

 

[ladyzman]

I'm a pretty sexy dude, too sexy for my own shirt sometimes but let me be the first to tell you, my looks haven't been responsible for my success with women as much as I'd like to think they were. If looks were that important, my ex would have not chosen me over another dude, who was better looking than me. The ex before her dumped her bf (who was taller, had more status, etc) for me. What was the one common factor in those two experiences? I was feeling good. Feeling confident. Neither was I doubting myself. Just felt assured, and that's sexy to women.

 

[youngmack]

Hmm so maybe the future is bright for me when i get older. I mean im not saying im ugly, i attract a good amount of girls,just not as much as i should for someone who dresses as well as i do.

 

[OC Speedball]

Start to dress well. I'm serious. I knew a guy who was 5'5" and average (maybe slightly above). But he was obsessed with Ryan Gosling, so because of that he dressed pretty well. Wearing shiny dress shoes, ironed jeans, Penguin dress shirts, plaid shirts, a combover haircut, all that BS. I would always make fun of him for it, but he was banging a few hotties from his hipster social circle.

Also, he had a large social circle because he had lived in the same house since he was a kid; thus making friends in elementary school, middle school and high school...and then meeting their friends and more friends in college. He dropped out of college and ended up just basing his life around his social life, which was pretty sad, but because of that he had built up tons of social proof. Obviously, not everyone lives in the same house their whole life, and not everyone remains friends with everyone they meet in life. But if you can, develop your social circle.

So, 1) dress well, and 2) develop your social circle.


When I get a job this summer I am going to give myself a style makeover. I have noticed that the guys with the real hotties dress well. Go out and you will notice this yourself. My style isn't bad, but I do need to buy some nicer stuff. I only have a couple items of clothing that girls compliment on. I remember Adam Lyons said some Psychologists did a survey on women in London about what the first thing they notice about a man is. The first thing the women noticed about a man was how CLEAN he was! Guys often overlook this because the PUA community emphasizes "game" so much.

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

this is a difficult debate, some people say women are attracted, value looks in men as much as we do in women, but others say women are not as attracted as much, so i'm very confused.

 

[Black.Magic]

You think looks mean something, huh?

I have been called "hot", "cute", "hey hot stuff", etc. etc. I am very tall too, and I look like I'm in shape. But guess what? It doesn't mean ****. I get eye fvcked, I go over to her and I get shot down at the first sh*t test.

Looks don't mean sh*t. In fact, I sometimes wish I were shorter so I could get in under their radar!

 

[floydb25]

To the guys saying looks don't matter - as it relates to their lack of success: looks only get you in the door. You cant rely on them alone, and you can still get rejected quickly. But, they give you a huge advantage, and get you in that door in the first place. After that, you need other things to keep them interested.

What looks do is provide more opportunities. So, you'll get looks, compliments, dates, and sexual advances from women, which builds your confidence and helps with self-esteem. You'll also be welcomed into most crowds with ease, which improves social skills, reduces shyness, etc. More doors open, and you'll naturally become better at all these things - to the point of being second nature - which makes you more attractive, and thus, more successful.

Looks just lay the ground work to build the whole package. It's not a free pass to getting laid constantly. This also depends on how good looking you are, as there are varying degrees. You can be handsome, cute, doable, good looking, or whatever, and still not have much success. Not none, but not a lot, either. Decent looking guys still get offers. But if you're a pretty boy - women pretty much flock to you. There isn't much you have to do at all. That also plays a role. Are you gorgeous, or just good looking? The difference (and results) are huge.

Social skills can't be underestimated, either. You should naturally be a cool, friendly person that is highly likeable. Not for social status, but just as someone people like being around. Women are people too. They like being around cool, fun, exciting, light-hearted guys. Since all they do is talk - you should be a good conversationalist.

A lot of people just need to get out and socialize. Not just with women - in a fake manner, in an attempt to pick them up. Become good with people, and they will like you. Women come naturally once you become social, fun, interesting, etc. And you have a better life overall.

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

To the guys saying looks don't matter - as it relates to their lack of success: looks only get you in the door. You cant rely on them alone, and you can still get rejected quickly. But, they give you a huge advantage, and get you in that door in the first place. After that, you need other things to keep them interested.

What looks do is provide more opportunities. So, you'll get looks, compliments, dates, and sexual advances from women, which builds your confidence and helps with self-esteem. You'll also be welcomed into most crowds with ease, which improves social skills, reduces shyness, etc. More doors open, and you'll naturally become better at all these things - to the point of being second nature - which makes you more attractive, and thus, more successful.

Looks just lay the ground work to build the whole package. It's not a free pass to getting laid constantly. This also depends on how good looking you are, as there are varying degrees. You can be handsome, cute, doable, good looking, or whatever, and still not have much success. Not none, but not a lot, either. Decent looking guys still get offers. But if you're a pretty boy - women pretty much flock to you. There isn't much you have to do at all. That also plays a role. Are you gorgeous, or just good looking? The difference (and results) are huge.

Social skills can't be underestimated, either. You should naturally be a cool, friendly person that is highly likeable. Not for social status, but just as someone people like being around. Women are people too. They like being around cool, fun, exciting, light-hearted guys. Since all they do is talk - you should be a good conversationalist.

A lot of people just need to get out and socialize. Not just with women - in a fake manner, in an attempt to pick them up. Become good with people, and they will like you. Women come naturally once you become social, fun, interesting, etc. And you have a better life overall.

David DeAngelo said "Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks."

is he right or not?

 

[Mike32ct]

Let me put it to you this way. I have this female friend, an HB9 blonde. And no, she's not an airhead. She has a masters degree. Anyway, I used to be a very loyal M y ster y follower, just like you are into Dav id Dee.

I was telling her all about this pick up artist and how he Fs all these gorgeous women and probably has numbers in the 100s.

Do you know what FIRST thing that came out of her mouth?

HB: <Big smile> "Is he REALLY GOOD LOOKING?"

My jaw dropped. I mean c'mon, doesn't she understand anything? Doesn't she understand how all these gurus kept telling me that looks don't matter?

After hearing female friends and coworkers go on and on about a guy's looks over a period of say 8 years, AND going out to the nightclubs and seeing girls' faces light up like an Xmas tree when a hot guy approaches them...

The final nail in the coffin was gaming girls and at the last minute, they went to some hot guy, took his hand and said "Lets go.". These guys didn't run any game. They didn't have to DO anything but use their looks.

It finally sunk in that she was on to something.

David DeAngelo said "Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks."

is he right or not?

 

[sambwoy]

Here's another point...

She's evaluating your looks on what her friends will think of you more than how you look to her. If you don't look so hot it reflects badly on her with her friends.

Why this is I don't know. I have never had sex etc and this is one of things I fear...her friends...more than her. Its already established what she AND her friends are looking for, the classic handsome guy, and they'll probably gang up or act condescending towards you if you're not in the top grade. I have been made to feel like an outcast, it is the way I am. This is why it is so easy to make generalizations and blame them on mass for feeling the way you do about your shortcomings, so I stopped caring what she/they think.

 

[floydb25]

Mike is correct. That's how many women are. They don't care about ****, other than how hot a guy is. I've dealt with so many different women, got involved in their crowds, dated a bunch of them... Just been around them a lot. It was ALWAYS hot this, and hot that. He's hot, that guy is hot, this guy is hot, my ex was hot, is he hot, you're hot, she thinks you're hot, that guys not hot, he's not hot enough... I've seen and experienced it so many times. I had a girl suggest that another girl likes me "because you're hot". She didn't even know the other girl. Or, a girl saying another girl got with this guy because she said he was hot. Or, rejecting a guy for not being hot - only to put up with my AFC (at the time) ass for being hot. These are their words, and I have so many examples to list.

The biggest one was when a girl said she hated black guys, but would date one if he was hot. There was another girl who went on and on about how much she hated black people - only to date one because he was hot. Again, their words, and actions.

Almost all of these girls who ***** and complain about men are talking about hot guys. Almost guaranteed. They stay with them because they're hot. It doesn't matter if they hate everything about them; if they're AFC nice guy supreme or bad boy player jerkoff. I've been both, and had an ******* phase for a while. It did not matter. All they talk about are hot guys and pretty boys, and all the sexual things they want to do with them.

And, they treat the guys based on how hot they are. If you're hot - the sex is immediate. They like you. You're so great. They want to marry you. Flirting is constant. As is wanting sex. No effort is required. If you're not hot - you're SOL. Many of them won't talk to you, won't respond, will act like you don't exist. ****, I've had girls tell me they won't talk to this guy, because he's not hot. Meanwhile, she wanted to suck my ****. Her words; same conversation. Or, a girl saying she has a boyfriend, he has his head on straight, he's a good provider, but he's not hot. She didn't trust pretty boys - which is all she dated (and *****ed about). As this was happening - she was talking about all the sexual things she wanted to do with me. Again, same conversation.

The flip switches just like that once they encounter a hot guy. Everything they claim goes right out the window. It goes straight to "hot" and "sex". That's all their minds operate on. All that **** about nice guys and marriage and personality is just that... ****. They'll even say this **** AS they're trying to have sex with a hot guy. "I want to settle down; wanna ****?"

David D is wrong. Men and women are very similar. They go for looks first, as well. Then, other things like challenge. This does not work if she's not attracted to him. Same goes for men. We like a girl because she's hot - then like her even more when she's unattainable, aloof, ****y, indifferent, in high demand, etc. Looks come first. We're both attracted to the exact same things, and respond accordingly. We'll put up with all kinds of crap if the other person is hot. Our attraction increases based on what these hot people do. They're messing with your head, cheating, playing games, acting like ****s, using you, and all this garbage we complain about? That just increases our interest, but they have to be hot first.

 

[youngmack]

Exactly floyd....i think if a decent looking to a hot babe girl is flirting around with a not so attractive dude shes an attention wh0re looking for attention and an ego boost

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks Floyd for getting the word out there.

Guys get bullsh$tted about looks not mattering much by pickup gurus AND women.